Penance
by LifeLoveLoki
Summary: The Volturi is in shambles. The kings are barely on speaking terms, the guard is divided, and Rowan is caught in the middle. With the threat of the Romanians looming, Rowan makes a daring move that may save them all, but only if she can come to terms with the darkness that lurks within herself. Sequel to Tenebrous. Rated M for violence.
1. 00

Rowan Cullen was fourteen years old when she chose to run away from her abusive father.

Fourteen years old when she chose to stay with the Cullens.

Fourteen years old when she chose to trust them and keep their secret.

She was eighteen when she chose to help rescue Edward from the Volturi, even though it could mean certain death.

Eighteen when she chose to stand between Bella and her executioner.

Eighteen when she met her mates, kings of the vampire world.

Eighteen when she chose to trust them and eighteen when she fell in love with them.

She was nineteen when she was kidnapped by her father and nineteen when she chose not to be a victim any more.

Nineteen when she killed him and watched him die.

She was nineteen when she chose mercy over anger and forgiveness over resentment despite what her family hid.

Nineteen when her mates proposed and she said yes.

Nineteen when Aro chose truth over lies and life fell apart.

Nineteen and faced with hard choices.

And Rowan Cullen is ready to make those hard choices.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Welcome one and all to Penance! I've been very excited about this one for a while. Hope you enjoyed this prologue, a throwback to the prologue of Tenebrous and hopefully a highlight of the darker tone of this story. I'm glad you're all back with me here! If you haven't read Tenebrous already, make sure to do so before you dive into Tenebrous (or don't, I'm not a cop). Regardless, spoilers about circumstances of Tenebrous' epilogue below, so don't say I didn't warn you:**

**Some of you guys are seriously freaking out over the tracker mentioned in the epilogue. Please calm down. It wasn't Demetri. I would never do our boy dirty like that. Not to mention if I did, you all would probably hunt me down. Kudos if you can guess who it actually is (yes, it was someone mentioned in the Twilight saga). **

**One other note: this story is cross-posted on Wattpad under the username LiveLaughLoki if you want to check it out. There's a couple extra "chapters" (such as a cast chapter) that are difficult to include her on but are located in that version of the story. Anyway, I'm super excited to go on this journey with you guys and I hope you enjoy what is to come! I'll see you (hopefully) soon with the first official chapter of Penance!**


	2. 01

"How is he?" Caius' back was to me as he stared out the window, hands clasped behind him.

"How do you think?" I walked slowly over to where he stood, leaning my head against his arm. "The same as he's been for the past two months."

"This is a disaster. Word has already gotten out. It's only a matter of time before the unrest begins." His tone was flat, voice emotionless, but he was worried. I could tell from the tautness of his muscles, the slight tension in his jaw.

I stared out the window. "We'll figure it out."

"I cannot lead on my own."

"You aren't alone," I said softly.

Caius turned to me, resting his forehead against mine. He exhaled, eyes closed. "We are all that stands between the vampire world and anarchy."

I traced one of the purple shadows under his eyes, so dark they looked like bruises. "You need to feed."

"_Amore_, I am carrying the responsibilities of three men on my shoulders. Your calling this meeting is the only reason I was able to find some peace. I do not have the time." He opened his eyes, onyx black, and pressed a kiss to the near-constant crease between my eyebrows. I worried for him. I worried for all of them.

"Perhaps Aro-"

"No," he snapped tersely. He exhaled again. "Apologies, _amore_. I didn't mean to lash out. You know why we can't let Aro govern. Marcus would believe us to be taking sides. That is the very last thing we need at present."

"You're right. I will try talking to Marcus again. You can't keep on like this," I said.

He smiled slightly. "I will keep going for however long I must."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"You do not need to fear for me, _amore_. I will be fine."

"Who else will, if I don't? You need someone to care for you," I said, surveying him with concern. "I hate being useless, Caius. I know it's a touchy subject, but if you change me-"

"You know as well as I that, with the state of the Volturi as it is, you would be more of a liability than you are now. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but it is the truth. We do not have the resources to handle a newborn at present; the guard is already stretched thin and the unrest has barely begun."

"I understand," I said. He was right, of course, but I loathed not being able to step into my rule as queen and take some of the burden off his shoulders. "Please feed, Caius. You're vulnerable, even if you won't admit it. You can't handle these responsibilities when a part of you is focused on your thirst."

"Heidi comes at the end of the week. I will feed then, if only to ease your mind," he said. The clock tower tolled, and he frowned. "I must go. You know I cannot be absent for long. I've missed you, _amore_."

"I've missed you too, my warrior. I will try to talk to Marcus again. Maybe he will heed my advice as you do, on occasion."

Caius chuckled. "_Ti amo_. Please be careful. I am afraid, at present, I am failing in my duties as your mate to be there to protect you."

"You're doing the best you can. The guard are just as competent as they were, even if their loyalties are divided. They will take good care of me, they always do," I said. "I love you."

He kissed me briefly, fingers fisting around the sleeve of my shirt for half a moment before he released me and was gone. I sighed, my head falling against the window with a light thump as I bit back tears. But that seemed like all I was doing now. Desperately trying to keep the Volturi together and not crumble along with it.

"My queen?" Demetri asked hesitantly, laying a light hand on my shoulder. His voice was laced with concern. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Demetri," I said thickly. I blinked hard and swallowed down the lump in my throat. "Is Felix with you?"

"Yes, he's right outside. We wanted to make sure you were alright but thought it best if only one of us entered. We didn't want to overwhelm you," he said.

"I am no china doll, Demetri. I will not break under the slightest of pressure."

"This is no slight pressure you're under, Queen Rowan."

"Regardless, we must continue onward. Caius told me Heidi returns at the end of the week. Are either of you feeding during that time?"

"Yes, both," Demetri said, following me out.

"Make sure Caius feeds. I know you can't force him, but remind him of his promise to feed if he says he will not," I said. "Do you often feel useless, either of you?" I addressed them both now that Felix joined us in the hall.

"Not very often, no. We're kept quite busy," Felix said.

"I'm glad. It's not a nice feeling."

"Where are we going, Rowan?" Demetri asked, noting my purposeful strides.

I heaved a sigh. I was doing a lot of that these days. "Marcus' quarters. To try and lure him out of his self-imposed exile. Again."

"Any progress?" Felix asked hopefully. He and Demetri had made their stance perfectly clear: they believed Marcus was in the right and Aro in the wrong. The division of the guard was a large part of the reason Aro couldn't rule at present: half the guard would refuse to follow his orders. Privately, I agreed with them. But with division within the Volturi and unrest outside, I couldn't afford to take sides.

"No. But Caius can't keep going like this forever. Sooner or later, something is going to give. I can't let it be him."

"Are you scared?" Felix asked quietly.

His question caught me by surprise. "What?"

"Are you scared?" He repeated. "It's a personal question, perhaps too impertinent. But-"

"It's okay, Felix," I assured him. We slowed as we reached Marcus' door. "Do you want the real answer, or the one I have to tell everyone?"

"The real one," he said.

I glanced around the empty corridor. "To tell you the truth, I'm terrified. The guard is divided. Caius is stretched too thin, Aro can do nothing, and Marcus…" I trailed off.

"You're doing your best. You are, after all, still human. There's only so much you can do," Demetri said.

"Yes, I know. I'm just afraid it's not enough," I said. "Are you scared, Felix?"

Felix frowned, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Concerned may be a better word to describe my state of mind. I think I'd be a fool not to be."

Demetri nodded in agreement. "We won't keep you any longer. Good luck with the master. Many of us are worried about him."

"So am I," I murmured, and they moved aside as I opened the door and walked into the dark room.

Marcus hadn't moved since the last time I had seen him, which with my added responsibilities was nearly two days ago. After Alec had released him, Marcus had destroyed two rooms, taken a seat in his own, and hadn't moved since.

"Marcus?" I murmured tentatively, shutting the door behind me with a quiet click. He didn't move. I had fully expected this, but I kept hoping that I would enter, he would turn to me and smile, and things would go back to normal.

Too bad this is the real world.

"I can't do this," I said, speaking mostly to myself. I wasn't completely sure he even registered that I was here. "Caius is breaking. He will never say so, but I can tell. The guard is divided, most won't even speak to each other. And I'm just... trying to keep it together. I'm not sure it's working."

I was met with silence. No surprise. I exhaled, squeezing my eyes shut. "You can't keep on like this. We can't do this without you_. I _can't. Please, Marcus. _Please._" My voice cracked. He didn't respond. I walked to the door. "I know it seems like you're alone, but you're not. Please stop shutting me out. I'll be here when you're ready."

I squeezed the door handle so tightly it likely left indents in my skin before pushing the door open and walking out.

There was nothing I could do.

I was doing all that I could.

_What more could I possibly do?_

Santiago and Afton were outside to greet me, their eyes full of concern. I bit the inside of my cheek and swallowed hard. "Did Felix and Demetri get called away?"

"Yeah. Last minute mission. Trouble stirring up north. Enough to have Master Caius concerned, anyway. You're stuck with us instead." Afton attempted a smile, but it came off as more of a grimace. "How is..."

"The same," I said, walking down the hall with the knowledge that they would follow. "I don't know what to do."

"You'll figure it out, queenliness, I know you will. You always will. You-" Santiago stopped. The sentence, at least the one I was expecting, hung in the air. _You have to._

"Tell me more about the trouble up north," I requested, sorely needing a distraction.

"I don't know much. I think it's some rogue newborns causing a bit of trouble. But the numbers have him concerned, so he's sending Demetri and Felix up to investigate. I know he'd rather them guard you, so it must be at least somewhat serious," Santiago said. "Where are we headed, by the way?"

"Not sure," I answered honestly. "Just wandering."

"Felix and Demetri saw Alec and Jane earlier, while you were asleep. You should have seen it. Could have cut the tension with a knife. No surprise the twins sided with Aro, you know they always do, but I can't say it makes our jobs any easier."

I was deeply appreciative of Santiago; along with Afton, Renata, and Corin, he had placed himself firmly on _my_ side. He didn't want any part in the debate. Just wanted to be as much help to me as possible.

"When has your job ever been easy to begin with?" I asked.

"Too true. Everyone getting along made our jobs simpler. We didn't have to worry about walking on eggshells," Santiago said.

"Do you think Marcus and Aro will ever be on good terms again?" Afton asked.

I frowned. "I'd like to say yes. They're soul brothers, after all, but... I'm not sure that's something you can really come back from. Didyme wasn't Marcus' mate but that doesn't mean he didn't love her. I don't blame him for taking this so hard."

"I think you're a bigger woman than most, highness," Santiago said. "I don't know of many others who would be chill with their mate going into a vampire coma because they found out their soul brother killed their wife. When did our lives get so confusing?"

"Probably around the same time you decided being obnoxious was the same as having a personality," Renata said, approaching us with a smile.

"And you decided on sarcastic, huh?" Santiago retorted, a soft look on his face that only appeared whenever he looked at her.

"Aren't you guys just the _cutest_," Afton asked, smirking.

"Shut up or I'll rip off your arms," Santiago threatened.

I laughed. "Please, Santiago, we know you're all bite. No need to keep up appearances here."

"You caught me," he deadpanned, tossing an arm around Renata's shoulders as he reached her.

"How is Master Marcus?" Renata asked.

"How'd you know I was visiting him?"

"I was in the throne room when Master Caius ordered Santiago and Afton to replace Demetri and Felix," she explained.

"Oh. Marcus is... the same. Nothing has changed," I said, defeat in my voice.

"It'll be alright, Queen Rowan," Renata said with much more conviction than I felt.

"So everyone keeps saying," I muttered. I saw a flash of black hair ahead and darted into a nearby room - one of Caius' several art galleries. The guard followed.

"Uh... care to share whatever the hell _that _was, queenliness?" Santiago asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Be quiet," I ordered in a harsh whisper before stepping back into the shadows of the dim room.

The three guard members exchanged concerned glances but complied. I crept forward, peering around the door into the hall. Aro stood at the end of the hall, red eyes focused on the doorway I had dove through. I knew he couldn't see me through the shadows but his intense gaze left me uneasy. He looked like he wanted to approach, but frowned and turned away, disappearing.

I withdrew back into the room and dropped the shadows that wreathed around me. Afton started at my sudden appearance. "Care to share with the class what went on there?"

"Not particularly," I said offhandedly, certain I didn't have the energy to deal _with that_ particular conversation.

Renata, however, as observant as she was, saw right through me. "You're avoiding him," she accused.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, crossing my arms.

Afton sucked in a breath. "How long?"

I scowled. "Why must you_ insist_ on meddling?"

"Sorry, kid, but when your decisions affect all of us, we feel like we kinda have to," Santiago said. "Quit beating around the bush. Why are you avoiding Master Aro?"

"Look, Santiago, if you can't figure that one out on your own you're even slower than I thought."

"First of all, rude. Second of all, I asked for your reasoning. Not because I wanted to explain my theories," he said, folding his arms over his chest. He levelled me a look of such dad-like intensity that I almost felt like I was being interrogated by Emmett.

"Fine," I ground out. "It's not because I'm mad at him, if that's what you're thinking. It's just... things are strained enough as it is and I can't deal with the apologies and attempted explanations he tries to give every time I see him. It doesn't help. It just seems to make things worse."

"What happened to not taking sides?" Santiago asked, his voice a little sharper than before.

"I'm not," I bit back. "But that doesn't mean I can't have my own opinion about this whole shitstorm. Things are in pieces here and I'm just doing my best to keep it from completely falling apart. Get off my ass about something isn't even my fault."

"I'm not _blaming_ you for any of this. But if you would just talk to him, really talk, maybe things would get a little better," Santiago said.

"I don't need relationship advice from you, Santiago," I snapped, angry now. But no- I had been angry for weeks. Santiago was just the one able to get a rise out of me easiest.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just calm down-" Afton attempted.

"Shut up," Santiago snarled at him. Afton's eyebrows flicked upwards briefly and he didn't attempt to intervene again.

"Until you're in my shoes, Santiago, don't presume to tell me what to do. I didn't ask for your advice," I said.

"I'm just trying to help. Don't go biting my head off. Maybe try not pissing off some of the only people that are on _your _side," he half-snarled.

"That's enough," Renata said sharply. "Both of you. Queen Rowan, I understand that things are rocky right now, but nothing will change if you keep avoiding Master Aro. Santiago, our queen is under a lot of stress right now. Cut her a little slack."

I inhaled and bit back the urge to snap at Renata, too. "You're right."

"I know. Now apologize, both of you," she ordered.

"Sorry, Santiago." I apologized first. I had started it.

"You're forgiven. I'm sorry, too. I was way out of line," Santiago said.

"It's okay. I guess I was just looking for someone to take my anger out on, anyway. It was only a matter of time."

"Sounds like you need to spar and let off some steam. If we're lucky, Master Marcus will sense we're fake fighting and come to beat me up again," Afton suggested.

I chuckled. "Not so sure about that one, Afton. But thanks for the suggestion."

"Can I give you some advice, kid?" Santiago asked as we left the room and started back down the hall.

"Sure. Promise I won't pick a fight this time."

"Yeah, we'll see. I know you want to solve all this on your own, but we're here for you. Let us help."

I smiled at him. "I don't know what you can do to help solve this one, Santiago, but I appreciate the support."

"Any time, kid."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Okay, so PSA that updates may unfortunately be a little slow because my laptop is broken. Fortunately it is under warranty but it needs to be fixed but I have to do all of my fanfic writing on my tablet until it is fixed. So yeah, that happened. It's made posting chapters a HUGE pain so I hope you appreciate what I went through for this chapter.**

**So there's a bit of a tone shift going on, if you hadn't noticed. A bit of a time jump but I felt that's what made it flow the best to really show the consequences of Aro and Marcus' falling out. Poor Rowan (and Caius). How do you think she's handling the aftermath? **

**Anyway, I mentioned last A/N that the tracker is someone you know. Some of you have guessed it, but the tracker is Alistair. He's not evil or anything, just to clarify - it's more like the former queens tricked him into helping them find the Romanians. Alistair doesn't want to be in trouble with the Volturi so he agreed to help them. Just a fun fact.**

**As always, thanks for reading! College for me has been cancelled for the next 2 weeks so hopefully I'll be able to have another update out for you guys soon. Unfortunately I still have homework, but nothing too crazy, so my schedule has freed up for the foreseeable future. Thanks to all who have reviewed and have showed their support for Penance! I'm very excited for what is to come (as I have mentioned many, many times already) and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Stay cool and stay healthy, my dudes!**


	3. 02

Despite my open scorn of Santiago's suggestion to have a proper talk with Aro, the following day found me hovering uncertainly outside the door of Aro's wing. Santiago and Afton were watching bemusedly as I dallied outside the door.

Finally, growing impatient, Santiago scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Forget this," he said, and knocked.

I flipped him off during the few seconds it took for Aro to open the door. Aro beamed when he saw me. "_Mia __cara_, do come in. I am so happy to see you."

I resisted the urge to send Santiago one final glare and instead stepped past Aro inside. His quarters were usually in a state that I affectionately referred to as organized chaos, but it seemed in worse disarray than normal. I felt suddenly remorseful for neglecting him.

"How are you?" I asked him, absentmindedly gathering a few of his cloaks and beginning to hang them in the closet near the door.

"I am managing. I don't like this, not being able to do anything. I feel useless, especially with how much responsibility Caius must have thrust upon him so abruptly," he said, eyes following me as I began picking up his books and returning them to their proper places. "You don't have to clean up."

"Makes me feel useful," I said, pausing to frown at him. "It's not like I can do a whole lot at the moment, considering my mortality status. Caius refuses to change me – though I do agree that it's the right decision, all things considered – and I can't do much to help him while I'm still human."

"How is he holding up?" Aro asked.

I sighed as I slid the final book in my arms onto the shelf. "He hasn't fed since this whole thing started. He's promised to feed when Heidi returns, but I'm worried about him. Marcus, too."

"Marcus is still..." he hesitated.

"Comatose? Yes. I have no idea what to do or how to bring him back. I'm scared that-" my voice cracked. "I'm scared that I won't be able to bring him back."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, looking as if he wanted to reach out to me. "I'm so sorry I caused you this pain, _bellissima_. You do not deserve this."

I wanted to scream, to cry, to agree with him. To tell him that this was all his fault.

But he knew that already, and I could never hurt him in that way by saying the words aloud.

"I just wish I knew what to do," I said, staring at one of the paintings that hung on his walls. "The guard expects Caius and I to have all the answers. But Caius is just one man and I'm only human."

"You have much more strength than you give yourself credit for."

"Yes," I said, thinking of my family. They denied their very natures in order retain a semblance of their humanity. "We Cullens always do."

"You are the most powerful human I've ever met. And not because of your gift. The guard respect you for a reason. Never doubt yourself, _mia_ _cara_. We all must make difficult decisions. I trust you will make the right ones, when the time comes."

"You're talking as cryptically as Alice does, sometimes. Do you know something I don't?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No. I have been kept relatively uninformed. But leadership never comes without the price of difficult decisions."

Something in his speech inspired me. I felt resolve where there hadn't been before. "Thanks, Aro."

Aro saw the change, the steely look in my eye, and smiled. "I have never once doubted you, Rowan."

"I need to go," I said, jerking a thumb towards the door. I had burning questions that needed answering and an idea forming in my head.

"I understand," he said. "Whenever you decide to visit again, I'll be waiting."

A smile curled at my lips. "I know. I love you, Aro. Thank you."

"I love you too, my dearest. Any time," he said.

I strode out of the room, Santiago and Afton falling in step beside me as I walked, purpose in my step for the first time in months. "You look different," Santiago observed.

"I've been inspired," I said.

"Not sure I want to know what that means," he drawled.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," I said, rolling my eyes at him. "The division in the guard has gone on long enough. The Volturi is suffering because of it. That stops today."

"How are you going to do that?" Afton asked doubtfully.

"I have some idea. But I'm going to need the big three to do it," I said.

"Big three?" Santiago raised an eyebrow.

"Renata. Corin. Chelsea." I listed, holding up three fingers.

"Chelsea's in her quarters, we can find her first. I'll lead," Afton said. "Corin is probably with her."

"Renata is in the throne room, as far as I know. If there's no trials, I'll take her place and send her to you," Santiago said.

"As always, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Be perpetually lost, probably," Santiago quipped.

I shot him a look. "Dick."

"What happened to 'I don't know what I'd do without you'?" He asked, placing a hand over his heart. "Truly, queenliness, you wound me."

"Yeah, yeah. You can be my right-hand man and still be a dick."

"Aw, I'm you're right-hand man?" Santiago asked, and I knew the emotion in his voice wasn't _completely _exaggerated.

"Don't let it go to your head or I'll have to have Felix punch you when he gets back," I said. "Afton, you're my third in command, of course."

"So he's the brawn and I'm the brains, huh?" Afton asked, grinning as he led us down a flight of stairs.

I snickered as Santiago glared at him. "Yeah, something like that."

"As long as that's the case, I suppose I can live with being your third in command," Afton said, nodding.

"Good. How much farther?" I asked.

"Just ahead," Afton assured me, stopping in front of a door that looked the same as the others that dotted this hall. We were in the wing of the castle that held the quarters of the higher guard – Jane and Alec, Demetri, Felix, and Chelsea, just to name a few.

"Afton, I thought you were- oh, Queen Rowan. What an unexpected surprise," Chelsea said, smiling when she saw me. "Do come in. Corin is here as well, we were doing some online shopping."

"Actually, I'm not here for a social visit. I need your help," I said.

"Whatever you need," she promised.

"Excellent. I need you and Corin to come with us. I'll explain on the way," I said.

"Of course," Chelsea said, and the five of us set off back the way we can.

"Santiago, run ahead and send Renata to us," I requested.

"Sure thing, queenliness. Good luck," he said, giving me a mock salute before disappearing.

"What is going on, my queen?" Corin asked, filling the empty spot by my right hand that Santiago had vacated.

"The guard has been divided long enough. Even if Marcus and Aro are still... at odds, the Volturi can't function with the guard against one another. That stops today. But I can't do it myself, that's why I need your help," I said.

"Chelsea I can understand, but why me?" Corin asked. "Why Renata?"

"Renata is there for moral support and to glare at them so that they feel sorry. I need you to make sure everyone stays calm. Chelsea, I hate to manipulate the guard, but I need you to use your gift to begin mending and strengthening relationships. However, I don't want to do that except as a last resort, so I want you in the crowd. I don't need the guard thinking I'm forcing them to make up. If I need you, you'll know."

"So you're gathering the guard?" Renata asked, materializing in my party. "Glad to see you've finally had enough. Wondered how long it would take. What was the inspiration?"

"Aro, if you can believe it," I said, grinning. "Mind spreading the word?"

"Not at all," Renata said, whipping out her phone and contacting the guard. "Where and when?"

"Training room, ten minutes. I want all that are free or can be spared. This shouldn't take long," I said.

"What are you going to say?" Renata asked. "Not to make you nervous or anything, but you're about to address the whole guard."

"I'll make it up as I go. It's worked every other time," I said, shrugging. "Corin will help keep them calm."

At her name, Corin beamed. "Don't worry, I won't overdo it."

"I know you won't," I said as we descended the stairs and arrived at the training room after several more minutes of walking. Much of the guard currently in the castle was already assembled, murmuring together but clearly divided.

"There's two more minutes for any stragglers," Renata informed me as we walked into the room. I felt the eyes of the guard on me, but I squared my shoulders, lifted my chin, and ignored it. Corin was already at work, and I shielded my mind to keep from being affected by the subtle contentment that rolled out from her in waves.

Chelsea and Afton broke away from me to stand with Jane and Alec. Both of the twins had been attempting to catch my eye since the moment I walked in, no doubt annoyed that they weren't in the loop.

"It's time," Renata said, murmuring the words in my ear. I nodded.

"Listen up, everyone!" The room fell silent at once. "These past few months have been tense. Most of you, sans the rare exception, have taken sides of this debate. I don't blame you. It's natural. However, the Volturi is suffering for it and so that ends today. Right now. What is happening between the masters is just that: _between them._ There are no more sides. We are a united front. And as much as I wish I could simply order it and force the division to be dissolved, I can't force you to get along.

"What I can do is offer a word of advice: if you don't unite, others will take advantage. Word has already spread about the division outside the walls of this castle. There will be unrest and rebellion. We cannot rise above if we are fighting among ourselves along with fighting outside threats. If this continues, the secret will be revealed. Humans will panic, and vampires could be destroyed by weapons even immortals cannot withstand.

"So which will it be? Because we either stand together or we fall divided. There is no other option. But I can't make that choice. That's up to you."

There were uneasy murmurings as I stopped speaking and my words washed over them.

"Nice one," Renata whispered, patting my shoulder.

"Our queen is right," Alec spoke up, stepping forward. "This division of the guard cannot continue. It isn't sustainable. Myself and Jane are both guilty of taking sides. But for the good of the Volturi, we must get along."

And then, to my immense surprise, the rest of the guard agreed. The air still held tension, but it was slowly dissolving. I glanced at Chelsea, who was making her way to me, half-convinced that she was behind this.

She read my face and grinned. "This was all you, Queen Rowan."

"I knew you had it in you," Afton said, clapping me on the shoulder and sending me stumbling forward.

"Better be careful." I was righted by someone I hadn't seen in a while. Maxim stared down at me, critical. "Seems you're the only thing holding us together right now."

"Don't be a downer, Max," Corin scolded, shooting him a beaming smile that he did not return.

"It's Maxim," he stated flatly. He nodded at me and turned on his heel, disappearing without another word.

"Don't worry. He wouldn't talk to you if he at least didn't like you a little," Corin assured me, mistaking my baffled expression.

"It's fine. If he really disliked me, he would have let me fall flat on my face," I told her. Most of the guard had left, returning to their duties.

"That's the spirit," she said brightly.

"I have to get back to the throne room, Master Caius needs me for a trial that started... two minutes ago," Renata said, grimacing. "Well done, Rowan. I don't think anyone but you could have done this."

"Thanks, Renata. Corin, Chelsea, you're free to go as well if you'd like," I told them.

"Don't forget you're always welcome to stop by," Chelsea said, shooting me a smile and disappearing down the hall.

"Bye, Queen Rowan! Don't be a stranger!" Corin said, waving before following Chelsea.

"Just you and me, then, huh?" Afton asked as we left the training room, where a few of the guard had stayed behind to use the room for its intended purpose.

"Seems like it," I agreed.

"That really was great, Rowan. I don't know why you're worried about becoming queen. You were born for it. What you did back there was proof enough," Afton said.

"Hopefully, the goodwill will spread to the rest of the guard that wasn't in attendance. I don't feel like calling another meeting. But that's only one problem solved. If we are to have any hope of normalcy within the coven again – cohesiveness – Aro and Marcus have to get along again."

"Way to be a downer," Afton said.

"You know it's true," I retorted.

We reached my quarters and I opened the door. Afton followed me in without needing invitation and immediately plopped down in a chair and turned on the TV.

I pulled out my phone and called Edward, stretching out across my loveseat as he answered. _"Hey, Ro."_

"Hey, Ed. How's life?" I asked.

_"Great. More important, how are you doing? I know things have been tough."_

"More or less the same. I have the guard getting along again, but that's only half the battle," I said.

_"Do you know what you're going to do?"_

"If I knew I wouldn't be calling you," I quipped.

_"Aren't you hilarious," _he said drily. _"I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Bella is out with Ness, but I'm sure they both send their love."_

"Well make sure to let them know I do the same. Anyway, I just wanted to call and say hello. It's been a long day. I miss you all."

_"We miss you, too. I know it's a crazy time, but visit when you can."_

"Trust me, as soon as this all smooths over, I will."

He chuckled. _"I'm going to count on it. Talk to you later, Ro."_

"Later, Ed," I said. I hung up and stared at the ceiling.

"Are you moping?" Afton asked, squinting at me.

"No. Well, maybe a little. But you have to admit that my engagement is not going quite as happily as one might hope," I pointed out, looking at my ring.

"Fair point," he murmured, muting the TV. "Look. I know this is awful for you. But it won't be forever."

"But what if it is? What if I'm doomed to an eternity of Caius being perpetually overworked and Marcus a statue?"

"I forgot how limited human perspective is," Afton muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just try to look at the big picture, alright? Eternity is a long time. The masters are soul brothers. It will take time, but their relationship will repair. It won't be like this forever."

"I'll try," I said, still frowning. "I just wish there was something I could do."

"You just united the guard, that isn't enough?" Afton asked in disbelief.

"You know it's not."

"Let it be enough for today," he said softly.

I bit my lip, wanting to disagree with him, but maybe he was right. "Okay," I whispered.

"Good," he said. "You'll get through this. I know you will."

"I hope so."

He spoke with conviction. "You will."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Here I am, back with the 2nd chapter of Penance! Hope you all are staying safe and healthy in the midst of all the chaos and that this chapter can serve as a bit of an escape from the crazy. A huge thanks for all the support I've been receiving, it means a lot! I'm seeing a lot of theories and ideas flying around about what is going to happen, how Marcus is going to snap out of it, and whether Caius will snap under the pressure. At least the guard is slowly coming back together again - Rowan makes such a good queen. I'm so proud of her.**

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed! Let me know in the comments your thoughts on how the kings are handling the split. Rowan is clearly not handling it great, not that you can blame her. Anyways, here are some replies:**

**animexchick: Rowan needs (and deserves) all the hugs. I feel bad for doing this to her, but... it really was only a matter of time. Hopefully she'll be able to continue to withstand the stress... Thank you for your review!**

**electrogirl88: Thank you! I really wanted to do something different, and as most Kings/OC fics tend to ignore the whole Aro kills Didyme thing I decided I wanted to tackle it head-on. Hopefully you're enjoying the twist! Thanks for reviewing!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and make sure to tell me what you thought of it! Stay safe, healthy, and make sure you're washing your hands! Until the next update, guys!**


	4. 03

"That was quite a speech," Jane commented when I next saw her and Alec several days later. With Demetri and Felix gone, the twins spent most of their time working with Caius. I couldn't help but be a little jealous that they got to spend more time with him at present than I did.

"You think so?" I asked as we walked to the library.

"Yes. Not many people could so successfully bring the guard back together," Jane said.

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Jane."

"We were worried the pressure was getting to be too much for you," Alec said.

"What? Why?"

"This is a lot even for a vampire to deal with," Alec said. "Clearly, however, we were mistaken."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence, guys," I said drily.

"We have complete faith in you, Queen Rowan. Just not in your human condition," Jane said as Alec opened the library door for us.

"Trust me, I'm no happier than you are. But the last thing we need right now, on top of everything else, is me as a blood-crazed newborn," I said.

"Unfortunately true," Alec agreed.

"Still, I do what I can to make Caius' life easier. Even if it isn't much," I said.

"Uniting the guard has helped tremendously," Jane said. "You can't be in on trials, but the rift made it nearly impossible to truly execute justice. Things are now back to running smoothly again, at least in that respect."

"Good," I said, somewhat relieved. This was the first confirmation I had gotten that my actions were even making a difference. But I wasn't foolish enough to believe that uniting the guard, while helpful, was anything close to solving the root of the problem.

To truly fix anything, Aro and Marcus had to get along again. And before that could happen, Marcus needed to come back from within himself.

"We do have a shred of good news in the midst of chaos," Alec said.

I glanced at him. "Oh?"

"Yes. Demetri and Felix are supposed to return by this evening. Master Caius has been impatient for their return, but no doubt they wanted to gather as much intel as possible," he said with a nod.

I sat down in a chair without bothering to grab a book. "What was their mission? All Santiago was able to tell me was that they're investigating trouble up north."

"Well, yes," Alec said, looking uncertain. "It's all been kept rather quiet, so as to not raise alarm."

My stomach clenched. "Raise alarm?"

"Perhaps it is not our place to say," Jane interjected, giving her twin a sharp look.

"How am I to be any use to my mate if I don't even know the whole of what's going on, Jane?" I asked, not unkindly. "I believe, as queen, I have a right to know."

Alec nodded in agreement. "I can't say that Master Caius will be pleased that we told you, but you're right. We have reason to believe that the trouble up north is the Romanians. We received an anonymous tip a week ago that the Romanians are assembling an army. Master Caius is concerned that this may be tied to recent disappearances around the area."

"Tell me more about the Romanians," I requested. For someone who was supposed to rule over the vampire world someday, I didn't know a whole lot about vampire history.

"They ruled before the Volturi. This was well before our time, but all three of the masters fought in the original battle against them. I'm not romanticizing war - it's a nasty, dirty affair - but the battles waged between the Romanians and the Volturi are what legends are made of," Alec said.

"Quite literally," Jane added. "To give more details, the Romanians were a cutthroat, merciless group who did nothing to hide the truth of their natures. Humans were nothing more than mere cattle, to be used for their own amusement. The war between the Romanians and the Volturi lasted over a century before the Volturi finally triumphed. Around the 1500s, the Romanians created a newborn army, hoping that the sheer numbers would overwhelm the Volturi. However, they didn't gamble on the Masters' secret weapons: us."

"They haven't attempted to challenge us since. But we suspect that the recent unrest has them on the move," Alec said.

"The disappearances you mentioned, how long have they been going on?" I asked.

"See, we thought of that too," Alec stated, following my line of thinking. "But with the amount of humans that go missing on a normal basis makes it nearly impossible to track the true beginning. The disappearance rate has only gone up by half a percent, barely noticeable unless you're looking. Not exactly a monumental increase."

"When did it start rising?" I pushed.

Jane pursed her lips. "July. But the point still stands that, without further information, it's impossible to say whether it's Romanian activity or simply an increase because of the travel that commonly happens among humans during the summer months."

"I don't like it," I said, frowning.

"None of us do," Alec said, scowling. "We should have ridded the world of the Romanian scum centuries ago. Truly, we should have known this would happen again."

I shook my head. "No, that's not what I'm saying. If the disappearance rate has been rising since July, however minutely, then that means that the Romanians have been building and training an army for the past seven or eight months at least. They've learned from their mistakes. They may be creating newborns, but they're training them, too, and they're being subtle about it. That makes them far more dangerous."

"You think they're following Aro's example? Making a guard, finding those with gifts?" Alec asked.

"Worst possible scenario, yeah," I said. "I feel like we're missing part of the story. If they did start building an army in July, why then? What happened in July that prompted this?"

"Hopefully Demetri and Felix will have answers," Jane said. "Speculating will do nothing except add to your stress, Queen Rowan. Perhaps you should put it out of your mind for now."

"Slim chance of that, I'm sure," Alec remarked, pulling a book off a shelf.

"You know me too well, Alec," I said, chuckling and wandering off into the shelves.

I could think of little else for the rest of the day. Felix and Demetri had not returned by the time I decided to finally tuck into bed around midnight. I toyed with the notion of calling for Aro to come stay with me, but exhaustion overcame me before I even had the chance to reach to the nightstand for my phone.

_"Auntie Rowan, Auntie Rowan, let's explore!" Renesmee tugged at my hand, pulling me into the forest. I was familiar with these woods; the forests of Forks had always been green and inviting._

_"What should we do, Ness?" I asked, laughing as she swung off of my left arm._

_"Climb a tree! Bet I can beat you to the top!" She exclaimed, clamoring up the nearest tree._

_"I'm still human, remember? No fair!" I said, laughing. She was just like her father. I hoisted myself up after her. I heard the branches above rustling but couldn't see her through the leaves. "Ness, slow down! I don't want you to get hurt! Ed and Bella would kill me!"_

_There was no answer apart from the shaking leaves. I climbed faster, skinning my palms on the rough bark as I spurred myself faster up the tree. There was a swift, terrified scream from above that was immediately cut off. "Ness!"_

_"There's no place for half-breeds in our empire." The voice was hazy and indistinct; I knew it but could not place it. Branches snapped and something fell behind me, landing with a heavy thump on the forest floor. I looked down, feeling as if I was much higher up than I ever remembered climbing. "Ness!" Her body, headless._

_"Don't worry, the rest of your pathetic family can live," came the same voice as I screamed and lost my footing, plummeting downwards. I hit the ground so hard that my lungs seized. For a terrifying moment I suffocated before air came rushing into my lungs again. I screamed again when I saw where I landed, feet away from Ness' body._

_"So weak. You're supposed to be queen? Please."_

_I blinked and found myself in a different forest. I recognized the trees above me. This is where I had laid as a teenager, just escaped from my father, waiting for death._

_"C'mon, queenliness, what are you doing? You can't stay down there forever. Get up, huh?" Santiago loomed above me. I grabbed the offered hand and he hoisted me to my feet. I released his hand and looked to his face, but he was gone._

_I stumbled back, breathing hard. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. "Santiago!"_

_"No Santiago. No kings. Just me, and you. As it always has been. As it always will be." I recognized that voice. I'd recognize it anywhere, in any lifetime. My hair was grabbed from behind and I was yanked backwards, forced to stare at my father's face. There was a wound, dripping blood, on his neck, and his eyes were hollow and dead._

_"Let me go!" I screamed, clawing at him, blind with panic and rage._

_"You're mine! Mine, mine, mine," he chanted. Blood dripped down my arm, and I wasn't sure if it was mine or his._

_"No! Not again!" I pushed against him, my outstretched palm hitting his chest and sinking through spongey, decaying flesh. I screamed again as hands gripped my arms and my fingers closed around something slimy._

_"-not real, kid!" My father spoke with Santiago's voice and everything seemed to swim and writhe. "Wake up! _Wake up!"

My eyes shot open and I lashed out blindly at whoever was holding me down, pain jolting down my arm as my hand collided with stone.

"Kid, it's okay! It's just me. You're safe." Icy fingers curled around my wrists, preventing me from harming myself further, as Santiago's face came into focus, full of concern.

"Please tell me you're real," I begged.

"If I say yes, will you stop trying to hit me?" He asked.

"Yes," I said. Santiago released his hold and stepped back, giving me space.

I brushed back sweaty strands of hair from my face and hugged my knees to my chest. The light flicked on. Santiago sat on the side of the bed. "Are you alright? Should we call for one of the Masters?"

"No, I'm okay. It was just a nightmare," I muttered, pressing the palms of my hands into my eyes until colors flashed behind my eyelids.

"Just a nightmare? Kid, you were screaming like you were being murdered," he said. "That wasn't just some damn nightmare."

"It's the stress," I said.

"I should have Afton fetch Master Aro," Santiago said, not looking convinced.

"Please don't. I'll be fine after I shower. What time is it, anyway?"

"Just after two," he said, watching as I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. "Are you sure you're alright, kid? You look like death."

"I'll be fine," I said, grabbing a fresh set of pajamas and shooing him out so I could shower in peace. The warm water washed away the sweat but couldn't remove the memories of what I had dreamt: Renesmee's body, my father's living corpse, the feel of his heart in my hand. I flexed my fingers. I couldn't stay here tonight.

Instead, I slipped on a pair of flip-flops and set off through the castle, where Santiago and Afton were wise enough to not interrupt my musings by asking where we were going. I arrived outside the door of the one person who, at present, would ask no questions.

"Can't run from your problems like this, queenliness," Santiago said with his uncanny ability to always pinpoint the reasoning behind my actions.

"Who says I'm running?" I retorted.

He raised an eyebrow. "I do. Nothing comes from running from your fears. You gotta face them head on."

"Not tonight, Santiago," I said, and left him and Afton standing outside the entrance to Marcus' quarters.

I turned on the lights inside, which chased away the shadows which had been swirling anxiously around my feet since I left my own quarters. "I'm going to stay in here tonight, if that's okay. I had a nightmare."

There was no response, but I'd like to believe he could hear me. Caius and I assumed Marcus' extreme reaction was some form of vampiric shock. When I had shared this theory with Edward, he had agreed. Apparently, the same thing had happened to him when Bella had discovered she was pregnant. It just hadn't lasted nearly so long.

I continued talking. "Jane and Alec told me about the mission Demetri and Felix are gone on up north. Caius is concerned the Romanians are on the move. They're supposed to be back tonight with their report."

A part of me hoped he would respond to that information, a threat to the safety of the Volturi and myself. After all, it was the realization of the threat to Bella's life that had snapped Edward from his stupor. I couldn't say I was surprised when nothing happened.

"It was a bad nightmare." I resumed my original line of thought. "So I'm just going to stay here tonight. Hopefully it'll keep any more at bay." I crawled under the covers of his bed but left the light on. Usually I preferred sleeping in pitch darkness, but after the images that had haunted my dreams, I figured it was okay to keep the lights on.

Just this once.

I woke around ten, made the bed, and bid goodbye to Marcus before leaving. Santiago and Afton stood on either side of the door.

"Alright, kid?" Santiago asked as I set off for the kitchen.

"Just fine. Thanks for waking me up last night," I said.

"Of course," he said easily.

"Demetri and Felix got back last night. We didn't see them, but Chelsea texted me to let me know," Afton said.

"I want to see them straight after breakfast then, if possible. Jane and Alec told me what they knew about their expedition up north and I want to hear their report firsthand."

"Didn't think the twins would be the ones to spill the beans," Santiago said.

I whipped around to give him an accusatory glare. "You _knew_?!"

"Of course I knew! I may not be on the level of the elite guard, but I'm still of high rank. However, there was a silent… understanding to not tell you anything until Demetri and Felix returned with more definite news. Don't take it personal, queenliness, we were just acting in your best interests. You're under enough stress as it is without worrying about that," Santiago said, perfectly reading my offended expression.

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't know anything until I bugged Chelsea to tell me," Afton said. "And that only happened yesterday, when the twins were on guard duty with you."

"At least someone here is on my side," I said, still vaguely annoyed with Santiago for keeping the information from me and even more annoyed that he had a valid reason for doing so.

"Oh, calm down. You found out, didn't you?" Santiago said, rolling his eyes.

"I guess. But you should have told me," I grumbled as we entered the kitchen.

"Forgive me for having your best interests at heart, then," he said drily. I shot him an irritated look and set about fixing breakfast for myself. After finishing the meal in record time, I set off in search of Demetri and Felix.

"Haven't seen them, sorry," Corin said apologetically, crossing the guard's lounge off my list of possible locations. "They're probably still in court. Without Master Aro's gift, they have to give their reports orally."

"Damn it," I groaned.

"I can check, if you'd like," Afton offered.

"Thanks, Afton," I said, and I made small talk with Corin and Santiago for several minutes while we waited for his return.

"Yep, they're still in court. Sorry I took so long, Caius caught me poking my head in and gave me an earful. He's in a mood," Afton said, grimacing.

"He's always in a mood nowadays. Not that I blame him," Santiago grumbled. "See you later, Corin."

"Bye," she said, waving and returning to her book.

"What are you planning on doing now?" Santiago asked as we returned to my quarters.

"Well, I'm going to start by brushing my teeth, and then I'll just have to wait, I suppose," I said, frowning as I entered my wing. "I hate this not knowing."

"We're in the same boat as you, remember," Santiago said. He looked at Afton. "What did you hear before you got caught?"

"Not much. Something about a border, but that was it," Afton said.

Fortunately, I did not have to wait for very long before Demetri and Felix knocked lightly and entered my quarters. "Figured Afton was checking in on your orders," Felix said, looking about as tired as a vampire could look.

"Didn't stop him from getting chewed out by Caius," I said, shooting Afton an apologetic look on my grumpy mate's behalf.

"Yeah, well, I can't say I blame him. Probably would have been different if we hadn't been bearers of bad news," Demetri said. "I expect someone told you what's going on?"

"Jane and Alec did, yeah," I said, dread curling in my stomach. "What do you mean, bearers of bad news?"

Demetri sighed. "Exactly what you're thinking."

"The Romanians are back," Felix said, folding his arms over his chest. "Which means, in a nutshell, that we are in deep, deep shit."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Hello, all! I'm back again with another update of Penance for you, so I hope you enjoyed it. Things are heating up for Rowan and crew - how will they get out of this one? I'd love to hear your theories about what's to come in the comments. Speaking of, a huge thanks to all who have reviewed so far, I read and appreciate every one! As always, here are some responses:**

**FriendlyNeighborhoodHufflepuff: Best trope there is, right? Now all that's left is the kings...**

**Havana739268: Thank you so much for your kind review! I'm so glad you're enjoying the plot and all that's happening. Interesting theories - I like the werewolf idea. However, I can't confirm or deny anything, as that would be giving out spoilers. So you'll just have to wait and see how everything plays out!**

**Iveya Jade's psycho mind 08: Oh wow! I'm thrilled that you liked my stories enough to binge read! You've shared several interesting theories, some closer to the mark than others, but they're all good ideas! Thank you for your kind words and I hope you continue to enjoy my story!**

**I'm working on Penance as my Camp NaNoWriMo story, so hopefully that means I'll be able to churn out chapters faster than I have been. The next chapter already has about 1k words so I'm hoping to have it out for you guys within the next couple of days. I know that you guys are just dying to find out what happens, so I'm doing my best to keep the wait times between chapters short. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during these strange days and I will catch you in the next update!**


	5. 04

"So it's worse than what we thought?" Santiago asked, a deep frown etched across his features.

"Much worse. They've been working on this quiet for over half a year now," Demetri said. "They've learned since last time, that's how they've been getting away with creating an army practically under our noses without us even noticing."

"How big of an army are we talking?" I asked.

"Hard to give an exact number, but I picked up at least a hundred unique scents. They're not just going for numbers this time, otherwise there would be more," Demetri said.

"We think they're training them. Not that we were able to get close. Got within about a mile of their sorry excuse for a castle before we had to run out; they keep the place well guarded and I prefer my head attached to my body," Felix said.

"We're looking at full-fledged war at this stage. If we had caught this even three months ago we probably could have put a stop to it, but not anymore. We're well past the point of no return," Demetri said.

"War? You're absolutely certain?" Afton asked.

"A hundred percent. This isn't some twenty-man force, this is shaping up to be a trained, deadly army," Felix said. "We think they're gift-hunting, too, though we weren't able to get close enough to confirm the theory. But, if they want to stand against Jane and Alec, we're assuming that they have to be."

"I need to speak to Caius," I said.

"You do realize he's going to be pissed we told you all of this, right?" Demetri asked.

"From what I'm hearing, he's already pissed most of the time anyway. I'll talk him down. But I have to see him," I said.

"He's in his study," Demetri said, sounding reluctant.

"Thanks, Demetri. I'm glad you guys got back safely. Get some rest, I'll see you soon," I said, walking out with Santiago and Afton at my heels.

"What are you thinking, queenliness?" Santiago asked.

My mind was running a mile a minute. "I'm trying to figure out how the hell we're supposed to get out of this one."

"We're the Volturi. Even with trained vampires, most of them are still just newborns. We've been doing this for centuries. Everything will be fine, kid," Santiago assured me.

"Never underestimate your enemy," I said, quoting one of Jasper's many battle adages. "Even with Demetri and Felix's report, we still don't have the full picture of what we're dealing with. Just because the Volturi has won against the Romanians in the past does not mean that we are guaranteed to win again in the future."

"You're spouting some serious wisdom there, kid," Santiago said. "I guess that's just what tends to happen when you hang around me."

"Santiago, you are an arrogant ass," I said, rolling my eyes. "Any wisdom I have I certainly did not get from you."

"And here I was thinking we were friends," Santiago quipped.

"Yeah, whatever," I said, well accustomed to his dramatics. We stopped outside Caius' quarters. "See you in a bit."

I entered Caius' quarters, headed straight for his study. The time not spent in court Caius spent in his study, but usually I abstained from visiting as it distracted from work that, without the help of Aro and Marcus, he was always behind on.

"_Amore_," Caius said, looking surprised but not displeased when I entered. He stood to greet me and I noted with displeasure that his eyes were still black; Demetri and Felix had been gone during the last feeding and clearly Caius had forgotten to take care of himself. Again.

"Caius," I said, melting into his embrace. He buried his nose in my hair and we stayed in each other's arms for several long minutes before stepping back.

"Is there something you needed? You don't usually just stop by," Caius said, taking a seat and tugging me into his lap.

"In a way. I wanted to talk to you about something. But before we do, I can't help but notice your eyes are still black," I said.

He groaned, his eyes sliding shut. "I became caught up in things. I didn't mean to break my word to you."

"I know," I said softly, placing a hand on his cheek. He pressed a kiss to my palm. "I worry about you."

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Don't. What's happened isn't your fault," I said.

"I know. But I'm sorry that you have to deal with the aftermath," he said, his eyes flickering back open. "I know you're not here to talk about my health or the woes of my brothers, however. What is on your mind?"

"I know about the Romanians," I said, getting straight to the point.

Caius immediately stiffened. "I ordered the guard-"

"Funnily enough, you're not the only one they answer to," I said. I probably would have been more irked at him for this if it weren't for the fact that I had suspected it already. "And I'd rather know than not."

"I suppose this means Demetri and Felix filled you in on their findings straight after they finished reporting to me, then?" Caius asked, heaving a sigh.

"Yes. And I'm thankful to them for it. You know I don't appreciate being left out of the loop," I scolded gently.

"I'm doing what I can to keep you safe," he murmured.

"I can't afford to be ignorant in times like this. I promise I can take it. I don't think I would be your mate if I couldn't."

"Hmm, true."

"How bad is it? Really? Demetri and Felix gave me the shortened account," I said.

He didn't respond, instead pressing his face into the crook of my neck. His lips brushed over my jugular, and even though he hadn't fed in several months at this point, I didn't feel threatened. It took me a moment to realize he was speaking softly. "It's bad. If we can't pull together… I fear for us."

My anxiety spiked. If Caius was scared, things were worse than I ever could have anticipated. "We will get through this. We have to."

"I am open to suggestions," he said, leaning back to see my face.

"I had a thought," I said. "There's a single point of failure in the Volturi as it stands."

"I will not allow anyone to harm you," Caius said, his chest rumbling in a growl at the mere thought.

I brushed a hand through his hair, soothing him. "I'm not saying you would. But as a human, I'm a liability. I know we've had the conversation of turning me already. But that was before we found out the Romanians are on the move. Even if I'm still something of a liability as a newborn, at least I would have the chance of defending myself. As a human against vampires, I would be dead."

A loud snarl ripped through him. "They would kill me before I allowed them to they kill you."

"These are perilous times, Caius. We have to make hard choices. Changing me is the smart choice," I said. "The best way to keep me safe is by making sure that I can protect myself."

"Even so, with the threat of the Romanians confirmed we truly do not have the resources - nor the time - to train a newborn," he said.

"Maybe you don't have the resources, but I do. I can get my parents, Alice, and Jasper to help. Jasper has experience with newborns - training them, controlling them. With Alice able to predict my every move and Mom and Dad able to help Jasper tame me, I'd be alright. You wouldn't lose any guard," I said.

He closed his eyes, mouth pressed thin. "I will think about it. But I fear the battle is close. I don't know if there would even be time to train you."

"You're reaching, love," I said.

"Perhaps. But I cannot bear the thought of you in battle. You are best hidden. You'll be safe that way," he murmured.

"I refuse to hide away while everyone else puts their life on the line. If I can help, I will help. Queens aren't made to be hidden away in towers. Any good king has a great queen behind him."

"What if I'm not a good king?" Caius asked, a teasing growl rumbling in his throat.

"Impossible," I said with a scoff. "Any king with me behind him is a good king."

"I do love your humility, _amore_," he said, smiling. "You know, I heard it was you that brought the guard back together."

"I wouldn't say it was _all _me-"

"So it was all you, then," he said. "That in itself has helped immensely. You don't need to fight to prove your worth."

"I'm not trying to prove anything. I will always fight to protect what I love. And that includes you," I said. "You know what I've been hearing from the guard recently?"

"What?"

"Apparently, you've been in something of a _mood_. Now naturally, I couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, 'My Caius, in a mood? That's not possible.' Yet I keep hearing it," I said, grinning at him.

"I believe I know a way to remedy the mood of mine," Caius said, bumping his nose against mine.

I arched an eyebrow playfully. "Oh?"

"Yes. See, I've been feeling rather lovesick recently. I've been so busy I haven't even had time to kiss my beautiful mate," he murmured.

"I may be able to fix that," I said, allowing him to pull me in for a searing kiss. He nipped lightly at my lower lip and slipped his tongue in my mouth when I gasped lightly in surprise. I felt his lips curl upwards at my reaction.

"So this is why you don't visit often, hmm?" He asked when we separated so I could breathe, nuzzling his nose against my cheek. "You'd be horribly distracting. I would get nothing done."

"Precisely," I said, stealing another small kiss. "I should leave you to work."

He scowled in displeasure. "I'd rather you stay here, in my arms, forever. Damn the rest of the world."

"Unfortunately, we both have our responsibilities," I said.

"_Most _unfortunately," he agreed, pressing his forehead to mine for a long moment before pulling back. "I will keep you in the loop from now on, as much as I can."

"Thank you. Do me another favor and take better care of yourself. I'll have Felix and Santiago drag you to a feeding if I have to," I said.

He smiled, black eyes crinkling. "Yes, my queen. What would I do without you?"

"Starve, probably," I said, kissing his forehead before sliding off his lap. "Love you."

"I love you too. Be careful, even within the castle walls. I don't believe there is a threat here, but the fact remains that these are perilous times," Caius said.

"I will, so long as you do the same," I said.

"Of course. I hope I can find the time to see you again soon, _amore_," he said.

"I hope so, too," I said, offering him one last smile before leaving his study and shutting the door behind me.

"How did it go?" Santiago asked as I left Caius' quarters and rejoined he and Afton in the hall.

"Just fine," I said.

He eyed my rumpled hair. "Clearly."

"Perv," I scoffed.

"Please, you love it. Where are we headed?"

"To see Aro. He's not exactly involved with the decision-making right now, but I think it's important that he's kept informed, and Caius doesn't exactly have the time to drop by and see him."

"Probably wise," Afton agreed. "What about Master Marcus?"

"We'll see if this news snaps him out of it," I said. We halted by the throne room, where Demetri was standing guard.

"Master Caius isn't on a warpath for us telling you about the Romanians, is he?" Demetri asked.

"Don't worry, I talked him out of it," I said.

"Yeah, talked," Santiago muttered from behind me.

"Afton, if you could punch Santiago for me, that would be great," I said, not turning around. "Anyway, I'm on my way to speak to Aro. Could you point me in his direction?"

"Sure, he's on the roof."

"Thanks."

"Any time," he said warmly.

I cut through the throne room to reach the staircase, where I resigned myself to climbing what felt like five hundred stairs up to the roof. Santiago and Afton didn't follow me out onto the rooftop, leaving me to poke around for Aro on my own.

I found him facing away from me, leaning against the half-wall that overlooked the garden below. I knew he heard me approaching, but he didn't react to my presence until I stood beside him.

"_Mia cara_, I didn't expect you to come up here," he said, glancing over at me. He had clearly been lost in thought, and there was no telling how long he had been here before I arrived.

"I needed to talk to you. Demetri told me you were up here," I said.

Aro angled himself towards me, leaning on one arm. "Yes, he is quite helpful in that regard. What did you need to speak with me about?"

"How informed are you about recent events?" I asked.

"Not at all, I'm afraid. I'm kept, for lack of a better analogy, in the dark about things."

I laughed lightly. "Well, I had better start at the beginning. Unfortunately, I bring no good news, but I made the executive decision that you should be told about what's happening."

"By executive decision, you mean you didn't consult Caius before telling me," Aro surmised.

"Yes," I admitted. "Demetri and Felix just got back from mission. Caius sent them to investigate trouble up north. Jane and Alec were the ones to tell me that they were there investigating suspected Romanian activity."

Aro was already frowning. "And I take it Demetri and Felix did not return with a good report?"

"Nothing even close to the sort. The Romanians are moving, assembling an army. We believe they've been working on this since before the Volturi split two months ago. Demetri estimates they've been building an army for over six months, but I'd go so far as to say that they've been training and adding numbers for eight months at least, possibly more."

"What indicators are there of that?" Aro asked. One of the things I appreciated most about him was that he looked at all the facts before acting.

"The disappearance rate has risen by half a percent, and the rise began in July of last year. Though I don't doubt they were working silently even before that," I said.

"They're likely building a newborn army. If they learned anything from their last defeat, it is that numbers alone will not win their war against us. If I had to guess, they likely were amassing allies who were already sympathetic to their cause before creating more soldiers. Newborns are incredibly difficult to control, and they would need numbers before they could even consider creating such an army," Aro said. "Their defeat centuries ago was in part due to the recklessness of newborns. They were not trained and it was clear that they could not be controlled."

"We believe they're doing more than just turning humans; we think they're looking for those with abilities, too," I said.

"That, of course, is far more difficult to do, nearly impossible. It is sheer luck," Aro said.

"Not if they have someone who can sense abilities. Eleazar can do it. Surely he's not the only one with that sort of gift," I said.

"Very true. I'm sure that is something Caius has already considered; my brother has always been a natural strategist. Is it still wise for me to be barred from ruling with the Romanians now looming over us?"

"Maybe not," I conceded. "but until you and Marcus are able to make peace, it will only cause further division if you return to your normal position as things stand right now."

"Is Marcus still unresponsive?" Aro asked.

"Yes. You should go visit him, maybe he'll spring to life to try and rip your head off." Aro grimaced and I felt bad. "Sorry. That was a low blow."

"After what I've done, I deserved it," he said.

I shrugged. "Even so, you shouldn't hear it from me. Anyway, I can have Demetri and Felix visit you when they have a chance to share the entirety of what they know."

"That would be helpful," Aro agreed. "Of course, you could always…"

"You know I can't do that with how things are now, Aro," I said. I had been shielding my mind from him ever since the whole thing began. Not to punish him, but because if I was to be a neutral party, I needed to keep my thoughts to myself.

"I know." Aro respected my wishes, but I knew he was unhappy about it. I didn't blame him; he was accustomed to complete transparency between the two of us. Then again, it was transparency that had gotten us into this mess to begin with.

"How long have you been up here?" I asked.

He looked thoughtful. "A day? Perhaps more. It's easy to become lost in your thoughts up here. This break from my normal duties has given me plenty of time to think."

"Perhaps that's a good thing," I said.

"I never said it wasn't. I've come to some realizations," he said, but didn't elaborate, nor did I push him to do so.

"This is a good place to think, isn't it?" I mused, studying the garden below.

"That it is, _carissima_," Aro agreed, following my gaze. We lapsed into silence, wrapped in our respective thoughts.

How had things soured so quickly? Perhaps I had damned them. Or perhaps we four together were each other's downfall, no more than monsters masquerading as men. I had killed my father, Aro his sister, Marcus and Caius countless others; we were not saints. But were we then to be conquered by a greater evil? I clenched my jaw. _No._

The Romanians would not win this war. I would not let them rip everything from me. Not now that happiness is within my grasp. They cannot win this war.

I will not let them win this war.

******⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰******

**Uh oh! The Romanians are up to no good, and as Rowan (and many of you) guessed, they've learned from their previous mistakes. Do you think Rowan is making the right decision by filling Aro in about what's going on? Do you think Caius will agree to her proposed plan and turn her into a vampire? Let me know what you think in the comments! Thanks to all who are supporting me during this journey, I appreciate your comments so much! Here are some responses from the previous chapter:**

**Mythgirl411: Thank you! I'm really glad you're loving the story and I'm excited to continue sharing Rowan's journey with you.**

**shippergirlky: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks, I'm working hard to make sure Penance is paced properly (which is turning out to be no easy feat despite my outline) so I'm glad it's flowing well to you! We're all hoping Marcus snaps out of it, we'll just have to wait and see when and how that happens...**

**Unfortunately, I seem to be losing reviewers her on (though s/o to my Wattpad peeps who are as active as always). I can't force you to review, but know that reviews really motivate me and even help me to write faster, so please consider leaving one if you enjoyed this chapter (perhaps by answering the questions I proposed above?). Anyway, I'm thankful to all of you who are reading and reviewing. I hope everyone is staying safe and I will see you all in the next update!**


	6. 05

With stealth now the only option to gain more information about the Romanians, Caius dispatched Afton and a lower guard named Vincent on an intel gathering mission that lasted over a week. I found myself spending much of his time away with Chelsea in an attempt to keep her mind off the ever-present danger Afton was now in.

"Our suspicions were correct in part; they're actively hunting for gifted individuals but a majority of their force seems to be composed of normal vampires," Afton informed me after returning from his mission. "They do some training outside that Vince and I were able to watch; they're absolutely savage. Their fighting techniques are brutal yet effective, but they're clearly training their soldiers to act almost purely offensively with no regard to their own lives."

I shuddered. "Any estimate on numbers?"

"I'm no Demetri, but I'd say his guess of at least a hundred is pretty accurate. It's impossible to say how many of those are newborns. The only good thing is they don't seem like they're organizing to move against us yet, so we still have time to prepare," Afton said.

"Caius already has Felix, Demetri, and Santiago training the guard around the clock, but at least the Romanians' slower pace gives us more time to strategize," I said.

Renata nodded in agreement. "Some of the lower guard have been speculating that he's aiming for a pre-emptive strike, but he's not about to act rashly in a situation as sensitive as this."

"It's far past the point where an early strike would even make much of a difference than meeting on the battlefield. It's better we take the time to train and prepare than to go in half-cocked," Afton added.

I agreed. "Precisely. Aro, Chelsea, and I have been working on trying to figure out what their next moves may be before they decide to go on the offensive."

"What about your sister, the seer? She could help," Afton said.

"First thing we thought of. But Alice has never met the Romanians, so she can't see their futures unless something they decide on directly affects us. Since they haven't made any solid battle plans yet, it's impossible for her to say how long we even have until they attack."

He frowned. "That's unfortunate. And frustrating."

"Believe me, I know. Alice told us she couldn't help - Aro was on the call too, see - and you would have thought that someone had just told him that Christmas was canceled. He puts far too much stock in Alice's abilities," I said, smiling in fond recollection at the memory.

Afton laughed. "I believe it. How does Master Caius feel about Master Aro being involved with things?"

"Well, Caius is in charge of the actual strategy and shots being called, so it's not as if Aro is actually giving out any orders; we're just trying to make Caius' decision making a little easier," I said.

"Should I go visit Aro, tell him what I know?" Afton asked.

"Please, whenever you get a chance. Vince, too, if possible."

"Sure, he'd be happy to. We stuck together for the most part, but having a separate set of eyes means he may have noticed something that I didn't," Afton said. "I can visit now, any chance you know where to find him?"

"Probably in the library, that's where we've set up our little base of operations. We can go over together, that way Renata can get back to her own post," I said. "She's supposed to be on shift patrolling Volterra's walls, but she stayed back until you could get here, Afton."

The guard currently on duty for watching over me had become rather unpredictable with the tumult following Demetri and Felix's report. The elite guard, who were my most common companions, were pulled for training or other duties along with Santiago. Afton was by my side regularly up until he got assigned the intel mission with Vince. Caius wasn't pleased with it, but it wasn't all that uncommon for me to now have only one guard with me instead of the normal two.

"Call if you need anything," Renata said, saluting me as she left.

Afton and I set off for the library, walking at a leisurely pace as I enjoyed the spring breeze that flowed through the corridors of the castle.

"I have to thank you, Rowan," Afton said, breaking the companionable silence that had settled between us.

I glanced at him. "What for?"

"Well, Chelsea told me that you kept her company while I was gone, trying to keep her mind off of things. I can't imagine what it would be like to have been in her shoes, so I'm really grateful that she had you to keep her, well, sane," he said.

"Chelsea's my friend, Afton, as are you. I'm happy to help in any way I can, even if it's just keeping someone company."

"Still, I don't know of many queens that would sit with her guards and call them friends," Afton said. "When the former queens were still here, we hardly ever saw them. I was in the lower guard - in all truth, Chelsea is the only reason I was allowed on the guard in the first place. The queens sort of thought of us as… dirt under their shoes, I suppose. We weren't even worthy to be looked at, much less spoken to or befriended."

"They sound awful," I said bluntly, and not only because they used to be married to _my _mates. Carlisle often said that you could judge a person by how they treated their inferiors. And if the queens' actions towards their inferiors was anything to go by, they were exactly the sort of haughty, self-absorbed people that I avoided.

"Honestly, they kind of were," Afton said. "You can ask anyone. Even Corin, who hardly has an unkind word to say about anyone, didn't like them. She had to spend the most time with the queens to keep them content."

"Because the kings-"

"Locked them up in a tower, yeah," Afton finished. He cracked a smile. "Don't look so worried. I'd like to see them even _try _to do that to you."

I grinned at him. "If they did, you'd help me break out, right?"

"Well…" he said thoughtfully.

"You better," I threatened, narrowing my eyes at him.

Afton laughed. "Of course I would. You know, of all the people in the world who could have been mated to the kings… I'm really glad it ended up being you."

"Thanks, Afton. That means a lot," I said, touched.

"So where is this operations base of yours?" Afton asked as we entered the library.

"In one of the bigger study rooms. Pretty sure it's the same one where Felix goes to his book club, but it's obviously not being used for that anymore," I said.

"Good plan. Plenty of room and reference material on hand," Afton said.

"I agree. I can't take all the credit, though; it was Chelsea's idea to set up in here. She and Aro have been helping me go over Aro's old journals from the original wars, looking for information that could help us predict what's coming in the days ahead."

"You should call in any of the old spies or informants, review what they saw back during the original wars," Afton suggested.

"No point in that, Aro already has that information logged- not to mention he remembers it all with that handy perfect recall," I said, wishing not for the first time that my memory was even half as good as a vampire's.

"You're right," Afton agreed. I pulled open the door to the study room we were using, and Aro looked up from the map that had been spread across the table.

"Afton just got back from his stealth mission, he's here to share what he knows," I said.

"Ah, excellent! I'm glad for your safe return," Aro said, offering Afton a hand. "May I?"

"Certainly," Afton said, obliging him. Aro clasped Afton's hand within his, closing his eyes as he watched Afton's memories. There were several seconds of silence before Aro reopened his eyes, dropped Afton's hand, and stepped back.

"This is troubling. Very troubling indeed," Aro murmured, steepling his fingers together. "I only wish you had caught glimpse of any gifted members they may possess."

"I have no doubt Caius will be sending us back again," Afton said crisply, "so there will be more chances. We need all the information we're able to gather about what we're up against."

"And yet, I fear, it will not be enough," Aro sighed, pacing about the room.

"How so?"

"The trouble with war, my young friend, is that you never are truly certain if all your preparation is enough until you step foot on the battlefield. That is what makes war so very dangerous and unpredictable, and at present, our adversaries know far more about us than we know about them," Aro mused. "It's likely they already are aware that we know of their actions, even though Demetri and Felix were wise enough to retreat before they were detected."

"So you think they're going to send spies, too?" Afton asked.

Aro chuckled humorlessly. "I doubt that. The downfall of the Romanian coven has been, and always will be, their arrogance. They place far too much stock in their abilities. They have the remarkable tendency to survive even the most dire of circumstances but are foolish enough to return and try again. When- if- we win this war, we will ensure that the Romanians do not run free again. They have been a thorn in our side for far too long."

I did not remark on the fact that Aro was speaking as if he currently held any sway over the actions of the Volturi. Instead, I said, "I don't think we should discount the possibility of them sending spies completely. From what I've heard, and what you've experienced, they're known to be unpredictable. We shouldn't underestimate what lengths they'll go to in order to win this. I have no doubt they'll do whatever it takes, no matter the cost, to win this war."

"We best be prepared to do the same, then," Afton murmured, running a hand through his hair. "I promised Ro- er, _Queen_ Rowan that I would send Vince to give you his report as well, Master Aro. Since the queen is at present with you, I will go fetch him."

"Thanks, Afton," I said. He shot me a thumbs up before disappearing .

"What were you looking at on the map before we arrived?" I asked, rounding the table to stand beside him.

"Ah. Yes, I was just searching for possible battlefields, assuming they aren't bold enough to launch an all-out assault on the castle. That could be disastrous."

"The secret would be out if that happened. Maybe that's one of their end goals. We've already established that they aren't below revealing themselves to humans," I said, gnawing on my lip.

"Hopefully dear Alice will be able to alert us on when the decide on moving, based on what she sees happen to us," Aro said.

"Our edge right now is that they don't know of our alliance with the Cullens. But I don't think we can go as far as to assume that they don't know about me, even if they don't know my name. It's entirely possible that they know of my existence," I mulled.

He hissed. "That is impossible. There is a reason you're not permitted in the throne room during trials. We have been careful."

"I don't deny that. But one way or another, word has a tendency of getting out," I reasoned, placing a hand on his arm. "It would be more foolish to assume my existence is unknown."

Aro slipped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. "Regardless, I will not let anyone harm you. I would rather perish first."

"With strategy and a little bit a luck, that shouldn't be necessary," I said, leaning into his embrace. "We'll get through this."

"Of course we will. We always do," he agreed, but his crimson eyes held worry.

There was a light knock before Afton reentered the room, followed shortly by a member of the guard I had never seen before. He was attractive, as all vampires were, but rather non-descript, and his eyes seemed to hold more brown than red. When he caught me staring, he bowed shortly. "My queen, it is an honor. My name is Vincent, I accompanied Afton on the recent reconnaissance mission against the Romanians."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Vincent. Thank you for being willing to share your experience," I said.

He gave me a toothy grin. "Of course, my queen. Anything to help bring about the downfall of those Romanian scum."

"Let's have a look then, shall we?" Aro interjected, moving away from me to offer a hand to Vincent.

"Certainly," Vincent said, placing his hand in Aro's outstretched one. There were several seconds of silence in which the only movement in the room was my own breathing.

"You present an interesting perspective, young Vincent," Aro said, releasing Vincent's hand from his grasp. "Your view of things seems to be much the same as Afton's."

"We were under strict orders to remain within eyesight of one another; it's too risky to separate," Afton said.

Aro nodded. "Perfectly sensible. Thank you very much for your account, Vincent."

"I am happy to be of use, Master Aro," Vincent said. "Do you require anything else from me at present, my queen?"

"No, Vincent, that's all we needed. Once more, thank you," I said.

He bowed again, patted Afton on the back, and took his leave. Afton ventured further in the room, examining the map. "Did you glean anything from Vince's account that you didn't find in my memories, Master Aro?"

"Very little," Aro admitted, tracing a pale finger along a route on the map absentmindedly. "Though, as his gift allowed him to steal a little closer to the training than yours does, Afton, I was able to learn one thing. Vincent probably thought nothing of it, but it is rather telling about how our Romanian foes are operating."

"Oh?" Afton asked, leaning closer.

"Yes. Vincent was close enough to pick up a conversation on the sidelines, even if he wasn't paying a terrible amount of attention to it."

"What did he hear, Aro?" I asked, impatient.

"One of their soldiers was speaking with the vampire who seemed to be overseeing the training. The overseer clearly wasn't a newborn, there was a certain oldness in his eyes that refutes that, but I do not recognize him. The younger vampire asked the leader when their sensor would return," Aro said.

"Sensor as in… gift sensor," I inferred.

"That's what I fear. You were right, _mia cara_. They seem to have found someone who is as Eleazar used to be for us," Aro said gravely.

"Did Vince hear the leader's answer?" Afton asked.

"Yes. He simply said that he was not sure and snapped for him to return to his previous position," Aro said.

"So he sounds pleasant," I quipped.

"Yes, I imagine they're all quite friendly over at the Romanian coven," Aro said drily in response.

I bit back a grin. "At least now we've confirmed that they're actively looking for individuals with abilities and they have someone who has the gift to do it. We'll need to let Caius know about that as soon as possible."

"He's conducting a trial right now, you'll have to wait until he's finished before that's possible," Afton informed us.

"Thanks. Can you keep an eye out, let us know when it's over?" I asked.

Afton nodded. "Of course. I'll be back to fetch you as soon as it's finished."

"Thanks, Afton," I said, glancing back down at the map. When I looked back up, he was gone.

Aro and I spent the next hour talking through Afton and Vincent's accounts, discussing counter-strategies and training regimes that would best work against their tactics. Aro began recording what he had learned from the two guards in a journal much like the old ones we had already poured over, leaving me to stare at the map until I felt as if I was going cross-eyed.

"I need a break," I said aloud, rubbing my temples. Aro hummed in response, pen still scratching against paper, and I left the study room we had taken over in search of a book. I pulled out a book at random, and seeing that it was written in some other language, returned it. I eventually settled on Shakespeare, his works bringing me back to the English classes I had shared with Bella and Edward. Back when things were still simple.

I skimmed _Macbeth_, having read it before and not truly paying attention to what it was saying. It was merely a distraction, after all. But somewhere within the words I stopped, struck by an idea so impossible…

I shot out of my seat, mind racing, laying the book aside without even bothering to close it. It lay open where I had stopped reading.

_He that's coming_

_Must be provide for: and you shall put_

_This night's great business into my dispatch,_

_Which shall to all our nights and days to come_

_Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom._

I sprinted to the exit of the library, throwing open the door and dashing out. I skidded to a stop down before I could run smack into Maxim, who was passing, and stared at me as if I had finally cracked. "My queen. Are you well?"

"Maxim, I need to speak to Caius. Now!"

"He's conducting a trial. Surely whatever you have to say can wait," he said, emotionless as always.

"No, it can't. I just realized something incredibly important. I have to see him," I said, slightly breathless.

Maxim studied my face impassively before turning on his heel and walking away. "Come on, then."

"Thank you," I said, having to jog to keep up with his quick, long strides.

"Care to share what is so important that you must speak to the master this instant?" Maxim asked, not sounding as if he particularly cared one way or the other.

"Later," I said, spotting Afton up ahead.

Afton looked started. "Queen Rowan, Caius is still holding trial-"

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important, Afton," I said, a little sharper than I meant to. "I need the throne room clear. I need to speak with him."

"I swear, if I get killed for this," Afton muttered just loud enough that I could hear. He glanced at Maxim. "Keep an eye on her, please. No doubt she would have come the whole way herself if you hadn't run into her."

"I'm not a child, you know," I said, irritated.

"No, but you are human. I'll get Master Caius to clear the courtroom for you. Just wait here," Afton said, and Maxim pulled me gently away from the door as Afton opened it and disappeared into the throne room.

I couldn't hear what was happening on the other side of the heavy wooden doors, but Maxim's eyes, which flicked up to the ceiling in an obvious show of exasperation, was enough of an indication. "Master Caius isn't happy. I hope you have good reason," he said, pulling open the door for me.

Caius stood on the throne room floor rather than on the dias, arms crossed, looking faintly annoyed. "I hope you have good reason for interrupting this trial, _amore_. Questions will rise."

"It doesn't matter," I said, breathing fast.

"What do you mean?" Caius asked, a snap in his voice.

"I've figured it out. I couldn't understand what would prompt the Romanians to start building an army before what happened in January," I said, stumbling over my words. "But I've figured it out."

"What do you mean? _What _have you figured out, exactly?"

"I'd need Demetri to know for certain," I said, and Caius cut a glance at Afton, who immediately disappeared, "but I think I'm right. Scratch that, I know I'm right. I don't know how, I just know."

"Well?" Caius asked, growing impatient.

"The queens. You told me you sent them away. But I can't imagine they'd go happily. They were leaders of the vampire world one second and nothing the next. So they went to the one coven that holds just as much of a grudge against you as they do."

Caius stood stock-still, realization and horror staining themselves across his face. "Son of a bitch."

******⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰******

******It seems that the Volturi have finally figured out why the Romanians began building their force in the first place. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I'm enjoying writing the next even more, so I'm hoping to have that one out for you soon. Huge thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter, I really appreciated it! Do you think that this new information (well, new for Rowan and crew, not for us) should be enough for Marcus to snap out of it and for Aro to return to his previous position? Let me know what you think! And now, here are some responses to your thoughts on the previous chapter:******

******Lady-Queen99: Aw, thank you! A lot of people seem to agree that filling in Aro has been the right choice. The events of this chapter prove that it was a good decision, as he's willing to help in whatever ways possible, even if he's not able to rule at the moment.******

******xlDarkstarlx: Oh wow! That was a while ago, thank you for sticking with me and I'm thrilled that you love it as much now as you did then. I know the plot twist at the end of Tenebrous took a LOT of people by surprise (not going to lie, it was a lot of fun to see your reactions). Poor Marcus definitely isn't having the greatest of times, but it certainly has some, erm, interesting repercussions that you will soon see. Can't answer the question about this being the replacement "Renesmee battle", you'll just have to wait and see on that front! Thanks for your review and for staying with this story!******

******Luceoscura: Thank you very much, that is sweet of you! I'm glad I can help entertain you during this period of quarantine with my somewhat regular updates... may I suggest a reread? ;) I feel bad for Marcus, I hate to do our boy dirty like that, but it is a necessity. Hopefully he'll snap out of it soon.******

******seventhhaven: Hello, long time reader! Thank you for sticking with me to see Rowan's story unfold. Caius turning her does seem to be the wise choice, but of course when you're actually him trying to make decisions for the good of the coven and his mate, you can understand why he would be hesitant. Even though she would definitely be in safe hands if the Cullens came to visit and help out during that newborn transition period. Filling in Aro was definitely the right decision, and I've heard a lot of people theorize that her turning would probably be enough to snap Marcus out of his funk. It is certainly rough right now, with Rowan and Caius caught in the middle. A lot of people were definitely shocked by the plot twist at the end of Tenebrous, and though I can't say anything about endings, I can promise the wild ride to come will be worth it...******

******Thank you so much to all who reviewed, I'm so thankful and your kind words have left me very encouraged! Make sure to keep those reviews coming! I don't ask for a certain number of reviews before updates, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate each and every one. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy in these perilous times! Since I'm social isolating like the rest of you (should) be, I'm sure you'll see me soon! Until the next chapter, guys!******


	7. 06

"Master, I was summoned?" Demetri asked, arriving in the throne room with Afton shortly behind him.

"Demetri," Caius said slowly, his voice strangely empty, "I need you to give me the location of the former queens."

"Sulpicia and Athenodora? Certainly," Demetri said, though he was clearly puzzled. There was a stretch of silence before Demetri breathed, "Oh, no."

"We are fools!" Caius roared, his voice echoing around the throne room.

"Maxim," I said, addressing the guard that was still standing at the edge of the room, "could you please go fetch Aro for us? He's in the library."

"Yes, my queen," Maxim said, bowing before he disappeared.

Caius was raging behind me, ranting at Demetri in a language I had never heard. Demetri was wise enough to keep his eyes on the floor and not risk angering Caius further by speaking.

"Caius," I said with no more than normal volume. I was strangely calm. All the anxiety I had been harboring over the past weeks since Demetri and Felix's report seemed to have ebbed away. Because now everything had been brought to light. The truth at last.

Caius snapped at me in the same language he had been snarling at Demetri in. "Enough!" I said sharply in retort. "Nothing will come by yelling or berating the guard. No one expected this."

He hissed lowly but relented. "Apologies, _amore_. You are right, as always."

Maxim returned with Aro shortly behind him. "What's happened?" Aro asked, reading Caius' furious expression and my troubled one. Aro himself looked slightly displeased. "I was only told that I was needed in the throne room."

I couldn't be certain, but I thought that Maxim appeared a little smug before he left the throne room. Caius gestured for me to explain, likely too angry to speak in any language that I would be able to understand. "I was reading _Macbeth _in the library when I figured out what started everything. When you sent the former queens from Volterra, you infuriated them. So they sought out the Romanians, who would be more than willing to give them the revenge they want. The queens have been whispering in the ears of the Romanians probably since the beginning. Just like Lady Macbeth and Macbeth."

"I was able to confirm it. They're with the Romanians. The former queens know everything there is to know about our coven: how it runs, our strengths, our weaknesses. They know about Rowan, even if they don't know her name. I should have…" Demetri ran a hand through his hair, guilt lining his face, and trailed off.

"This is a devastating blow," Aro murmured.

"A devastating blow?" Caius sputtered, still spitting with rage, "_A devastating blow? _You're no fool, brother! They have an advantage over us that we have no chance of holding over them! Sulpicia and Athenodora know our inner workings, things that even the most elite guard may be unaware of. There is no coming back from this! _None! _This war may as well have been lost before we even step foot on the battlefield!"

Aro shook his head. "Nonsense! The war is not over until we fall. And we will not go down without a fight. We have beaten the Romanians before. We will simply have to be smarter this time. The former queens know how we work, but they are no seers; they will not be able to anticipate our every move."

"We found out something else from Vincent's memories," I said, deciding it was best to share all the bad news at once.

"Get on with it," Caius muttered.

"It seems they've found someone with a gift similar to Uncle Eleazar," I said. "Someone with the ability to-"

"Yes, I know what Eleazar's gift is," Caius snapped tersely. I shot him a look but didn't hold it against him; he, out of all of us, was under the most stress.

"Whoever this sensor is, he's out in the world searching for humans with abilities to use for their army," Aro said. "If we can find the sensor, we can perhaps slow them down."

"I can help," Demetri interjected, looking desperate to prove himself reliable again after his oversight of the former queens.

"Yes, I believe it's wise to task you with this immediately. There's another tracker in the lower guard, take her with you," Caius ordered. "Dismissed, Demetri."

"Masters," Demetri bowed. "My queen."

"Good luck, Demetri," I called.

"Thank you, my queen." He shot me a small smile and left the room.

"You need to allow me to resume my duties, brother. This is much worse than we could have imagined," Aro said.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Marcus will simply have to understand. _Amore_, if you could visit him after you leave, tell him what happened, perhaps this will be enough to snap him out of it. Now, more than ever, we need him," Caius said, looking tired.

"Yes, of course I will," I promised.

Caius nodded. "Good. Aro, I'll have what should be your workload transferred to your study shortly. I'll continue to shoulder Marcus' duties. Perhaps that will soften the blow that you have resumed your position once he returns to himself."

"I'll go to him now. That way you two can get straight to work. We'll figure this out," I said, though I felt less confident than before. Caius nodded, his stony mask flickering as I pressed a kiss to his cheek. I kissed Aro's cheek as well before departing.

Afton waited outside the throne room. "I take back all my complaints about your request to clear the throne room. Your reasoning was entirely justified. This is bad."

"No shit," I said, walking briskly towards Marcus' quarters. "At least Aro is back in action despite Caius' better judgement. Still, I don't see how that will make up for all the information the former queens have been able to pass to the Romanians. I have no doubt they're much more prepared for this war than we are."

"We just need to keep preparing and hope it's enough," Afton said heavily.

I slowed. "What if it's not? What if, no matter what we do here, it's not enough? They have a huge advantage. The only way we could ever make up for that is if…"

"The masters have already thought of a spy, I'm sure. But it's too risky, and any of the higher, trusted guard are going to be easily recognized by the former queens. The kings won't risk sending a lower, unproven guard on such an important task. Stealth missions like the one Vince and I went on are our best option."

"Yes," I murmured, mind whirling. "You're right."

We stopped outside Marcus' door. "Shall I wait here then?" Afton asked.

"Unless nothing short of a miracle happens, I won't be long," I said, opening the door and entering Marcus' quarters. I sat down on the bed, Indian style, and gave Marcus the abbreviated version of what had happened. I was not surprised when he didn't react.

"You have to come back, Marcus," I said quietly, my hand on the door handle. "We need you." I left the room.

"Where now?" Afton asked.

"My quarters," I said, very reckless, very dangerous ideas swimming through my head.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Fine," I said. We halted when we reached my door. "Afton, you said that we should be prepared to do whatever it takes to win this war."

"Yes," he said, looking uneasy.

"We're being faced with hard choices, Afton. Really hard ones. I guess you were right," I said. "Stay out here, would you? I need some time."

"Certainly," he said, eying me with concern. I slipped into my quarters before he had time to examine me further. Otherwise, I felt as if he may see the plan that I was devising in my eyes.

I paced my living room. No matter how hard we tried, we would not have the information needed in order to win this war, not like the Romanians possessed. Whatever it takes to win this war. Whatever it takes. _Whatever it takes_.

I made my decision.

The phone rang.

Alice. Of course.

"Hello?"

_"Are you out of your mind?"_ Alice demanded.

I entered my study and shut the door behind me with a quiet click. "It's the only way."

_"You will die!"_

"No, I won't! They don't know my name, they don't know my face. The kings can't send any of the higher guard because they'll be recognized. They can't send any of the lower guard because they're not trusted enough. This is the only way."

_"If they kill you, it's over. There are other ways to win this war, Rowan! You are not a pawn in this chess game, you are the queen! The best protection you can offer the kings is by not sacrificing yourself in a foolish move."_

"I'm not sacrificing myself, Alice. I'm saving us all. So you can either help me or you can butt out. It's your choice."

_"You go there, it's a death sentence."_

"Have you seen it?"

There was a pause. _"No. I won't see whether they decide to let you stay, not until you arrive there and present yourself to them."_

"It's a risk I'm willing to take, Alice. We're backed into a corner. The former queens have been the Romanians' informants this whole time. I'm just leveling the playing field. I wouldn't do this if I wasn't willing to face the consequences. If I go at night, I can escape if things go sour."

_"You don't know that for certain."_

"Will you help me or not?" I snapped.

_"I could tell them," _Alice said quietly.

"But you won't. Choose, Alice."

The seconds ticked by. _"If you can get out of the city, I can have transportation for you."_

"Thank you, Alice," I said. My stomach writhed. "We can't waste any time. Can you have something ready before daybreak here tomorrow?"

_"Yes. I don't like this, Rowan."_

"Neither do I. But I have no other choice. If I must go into the lion's den, then so be it. There's no other way to get the information we need. None."

_"There has to be another way."_

"My mind is made up, Alice. I'll need a burner phone, food, water, and a change of clothes waiting for me on that plane. The ones I have all smell of vampire already," I said.

_"You've thought this through."_

"Probably not enough," I muttered. "Call me when you have everything ready."

_"Okay. How will you get out?"_

"I have some ideas," I said. "Talk to you soon, Alice."

I hung up. For three seconds, I let myself feel the horror and fear surrounding my decision. _Three. Two. One_. I steeled myself, retrieved several pieces of paper from my desk, and began to write.

In the end, there were three letters: one for Caius, one for Aro, and one for Marcus. Hopefully, their contents would prevent their intended recipients from killing anyone unnecessarily. Hopefully.

Though I highly doubted it.

The smaller number of available guard members meant it would be much easier to slip away. But if I was to have any chance of slipping out of the castle, not to mention the city, without being noticed, I needed to rid myself of guards completely.

I had Afton bring my dinner to my room and ate there as I waited for Alice to call back. An hour passed before the phone rang and I retreated within the soundproofed walls of my study.

"Well?"

Alice's voice was shriller than usual. _"It's done. You won't have to go far out of Volterra. There's a private airstrip shortly outside of the city, you saw it when we visited Volterra the first time."_

I thought back. "I remember. I can get there."

_"When you get there, ask for the pilot Matteo. He'll have everything you asked for on the plane and will fly you directly to Romania. He'll land you at another private airstrip that is located about thirty miles away from the Romanians' castle. They'll be a car waiting there to get you most of the way, but you'll have to walk the last five miles. Did I forget anything?"_

"I think you've got it covered, Alice. What time do I need to be there?"

_"He's expecting you at two A.M. Don't be late."_

"I'll do my best."

_"Please tell me you have a plan to get out of the city, Rowan."_

"I have… something. I'll get out, one way or another."

_"Let me know when you get to the air strip, alright?" _She asked anxiously.

"I will. Thank you, Alice. I couldn't do this without you."

_"I know," _Alice said sourly.

"I'll call you when I get there," I promised.

_"Thank you. Good luck, Rowan."_

"Thanks, Ali. Love you."

_"Love you, too."_

She hung up first this time. I checked the time: eight P.M. Time to begin putting the plan into action. I rummaged through my purse, finding a few rumpled European notes in my wallet. I shoved them in my pocket. I grabbed my phone and my charger; I would need it to contact Alice and program phone numbers into the burner. I debated for a moment before setting the letters on my desk in clear view. If all went well, I would be long gone by the time they were discovered.

I turned off all the lights before I left. As I expected, Afton was standing outside the door. "I thought you were in for the night?"

"I'm scared that everything that's happened today may give me nightmares. So I'll spend the night in Marcus' room," I said. Marcus wouldn't notice my coming or going, so long as he stayed a statue for at least a few hours longer.

Afton nodded. "Alright."

We walked in silence. I regretted that he would take the fall for this, but I explicitly wrote in all three letters that he was not to be punished. "Since I'll be spending the night, you don't have to stand around outside the door the whole time. Marcus is in there. I'm sure he'll snap out of it if anything happens, and I'm sure you have other duties that you need to tend to."

Afton looked uncertain. "I don't know, Rowan, if something happens-"

"Nothing will happen," I interrupted, my tone firm. "Really, Afton, it'll be fine. Like I said, I'll be with Marcus."

"I suppose you're right," he relented. "But if you need anything-"

"I won't hesitate to poke my head out and yell, don't worry," I said, shooting him a grin.

He grinned back. "Good. Someone will come running at that, even if it isn't me."

"See? It'll be fine. Have a good night, Afton," I said as we stopped outside of Marcus' door.

"You as well," he said, and disappeared as I entered the room.

"Hey, Marcus," I said absentmindedly, knowing he wouldn't respond. I grabbed a change of clothes that I had in his room and took a long shower. Then I set the alarm clock for one in the morning, turned off the lights, and crawled under the covers. I didn't expect to get much sleep, but I had to try. Something told me that it would be the last night's sleep I would ever get.

I tossed and turned until probably eleven, when I finally slipped off until an uneasy sleep and didn't stir until my alarm jolted me awake at one in the morning. I was groggy until I remembered what I had resolved to do. I made the bed, straightened my clothes, and put up my hair. It was like I was running on autopilot.

Finally, I found a sticky note and wrote a short message. I glanced at the clock. 1:14. I had forty-six minutes to get to the airport. I stuck the note to the door.

_Sorry. _It read. _There's no other way._

I shut off the lights once more and pulled the shadows around me. They welcomed me as if I was an old friend. I opened the door a crack, peering outside. The corridor was dimly lit and empty. Good. Easy to hide that way.

"Sorry," I whispered to Marcus, even though he couldn't hear me from within the shadows. A part of me wished that he would reach out and stop me. But he didn't, and I left the room, the shadows clinging to my skin.

I knew, despite the empty corridor, that the castle was more active at night. I also knew that Volterra would have more patrols; it was easier to stay hidden when they didn't have to worry about the sun. I made my way down the hall swiftly and silently, the shadows deadening my steps.

I reached a familiar stretch of wall and stopped. Pulling aside the tapestry, I opened the door behind it. The hidden passageways, meant for use by the human staff, was the perfect escape route. No humans were here this time of night and no vampires used these passages.

I made my way by memory, having used these passages before. It was completely dark, darker than I had ever experienced. My eyes cut through the darkness, seeing what no normal human could, and my gift flourished.

I took a left, the new direction leading to a side exit of the castle, just outside the garden. Demetri had shown it to me. My heart pounded. So close.

I stopped. Someone stood up ahead, arms crossed, facing me. Shit.

"I know you're there," Maxim stated calmly. He did not seem surprised. I remained still, shadows swirling around me. "You're not supposed to leave the castle."

"Let me pass, Maxim," I said, allowing the shadows to recede, where they billowed around my feet.

"What are you doing?"

"What I have to."

"So you've decided to be a martyr," he said, a slight sneer in his voice. It was gone when he next spoke. "If you die, we all do. You know that, right?"

"Yes," I said quietly. "But there's no one else."

"I know."

"How did you know I was there?"

"I told you before, back when we first met. Your gift and mine are similar in some aspects. I could sense you. You love your shadows, yet you fear them."

"I'm not scared of my gift," I said.

His lip twitched upwards. "Aren't you? Always scared that something will reach out and grab you in the dark. Don't try to lie to me. I know."

"You can't stop me, Maxim," I said.

"I can," he said, "but I'm not going to."

"What?"

"Don't act so surprised. I'm no fool; the only way we can win against the Romanians is if we know our enemy. That's why I'm letting you go. Don't make me regret my decision." He stepped aside, letting me pass.

"Thank you, Maxim."

"Don't thank me. When you get there, and you face them, you'll wish I'd have stopped you," he said. "Go. And good luck."

I nodded at him, the shadows wrapping back around me as I passed him. Towards the exit of the castle. Towards danger. Towards the only way to save them all.

******⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰******

**Okay, don't lie. NONE of you saw that coming. Everything before this was kind of a red herring to keep you from truly figuring out where I was going with this. Some of you came awfully close, though, so kudos to you. You know who you are. However, Rowan hasn't escaped the city yet - you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out if she manages to dodge all the Volturi guard that keep watch over the city. If she does manage, though, then escaping will be the easiest part of her quest. What do you think the future holds for Rowan? Let me know in the comments.**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed on the last chapter! All this building up and we've finally hit something big. Is it a stupid decision? Probably? Does Rowan see that the Volturi are backed into a corner? Yeah. She's just doing what she thinks is best. Anyway, enough of my rambling. Here are a couple responses to reviews from last chapter:**

**wolfgirl880: It would be much easier if the wives weren't awful, wouldn't it? But having no villains tends to make a boring story. So here we are. I hope you enjoyed this wild ride!**

**Megan: I'm glad you liked the twist from the past chapter, and I hope you enjoyed this one even more! It's definitely something out of left field that no one was expecting. But I hope you're not too blindsided by it.**

**fan-girl-1602: Thank you! I'm so glad you're loving it and I hope you're excited for what is in store!**

**That's all the responses I have for right now - remember that I try to respond to several different reviews from the chapter before, so if you want me to hear (and respond to) your thoughts, make sure to drop me a review! They truly mean the world! I'm really excited for what is to come in Penance, so I'm going to go get back to writing. Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and I'll catch you in the next chapter!**


	8. 07

The night was still. It was still chilly, despite the warmer days, and I drew my coat tighter around myself. I crept down the cobblestone roads even while being safely concealed within the shadows, following the dim glow of streetlights in the distance.

"Can't believe the masters are making us wander around out here," said an unfamiliar voice. Just ahead I spotted two of the lower guard, dressed in plainclothes but clearly discernable by their red eyes.

"They didn't win two wars against the Romanians by hiding in the castle and pretending nothing was happening," his companion said. I held my breath, flattening myself against the wall as they passed within inches of me.

"Too true. Doesn't make this job any more exciting, though." Their voices faded as they continued walking down the street.

I continued my trek through the city, pace a little faster than before. I needed to get out of the city before I was discovered, and fast. I had already determined my best bet to get to the airstrip in time would be to hail a taxi, but with the late time - or early, as it was - I had to walk several blocks before I could stop one.

"Where to?" The driver asked gruffly.

"You know the private airstrip a little outside the city?" I asked.

He nodded. "Sure."

I buckled in and made sure to keep low in the seat; I couldn't use my shadows for concealment with the taxi driver in the front seat, so I kept my head ducked and hoped that I wouldn't be recognized by any of the guard currently prowling the streets of Volterra. I didn't let myself breathe a sigh of relief until we were well outside the walls of Volterra.

I checked my watch. 1:42. I leaned forward, knocking against the glass that separated me from the taxi driver. He slid it open. "Sorry to bother, but how much longer?"

"Ten minutes," he said gruffly, and slid the pane shut again.

Ten minutes. That was cutting it a little too close for comfort, but I wouldn't be late. The taxi slowed to a stop and I shoved one of the twenty-euro notes in his hand without waiting to hear the total. "Thanks. Keep the change."

I swung out and sprinted towards the aircraft hanger, ignoring the baffled look the taxi driver gave me before he drove away.

"I'm looking for the pilot Matteo," I said, out of breath, to the first person I came across.

"_Scusi_?" He asked in Italian. Right. I was in Italy. Not everyone here spoke English.

I was suddenly thankful for the many grueling hours of learning Italian I had spent with Santiago, who was a surprisingly difficult teacher. "_Sto cercando il pilota Matteo_," I repeated in Italian this time.

"_Ah! Proprio laggiù. L'aereo con la striscia blu,_" he said, pointing towards a white plane with a light blue stripe cutting across the middle.

"_Grazie_," I said, jogging over to the plane he had pointed out. It wasn't nearly as lavish as the Volturi jet, but still large enough for a party of five or ten to travel comfortably.

"_Ciao_! You must be _signora _Rowan. I am Matteo, I will be your pilot. I am finishing checks on the plane. There is a restroom there if you wish to relieve yourself before we embark. I will be but a few more minutes," he said. He was probably in his forties and seemed unduly cheerful for being up at just before two in the morning.

"I will, _grazie_," I said. Matteo had finished his checks by the time I returned from the bathroom.

"The items you requested are already on the plane," he informed me, boarding the plane with me following shortly after. "This is a two hour flight, the estimated arrival time being 5:05 Romanian time."

Right, the time difference. Romania is an hour ahead of Italy. If I wanted to arrive at the Romanian stronghold while it was still dark, my five mile trek would need to be made at a quick pace.

"Thanks," I said. He nodded and left for the cockpit, leaving me alone. There was no co-pilot, it seemed, but the less people I interacted with on my way, the better. The kings would be on a warpath and I pitied those on whom they inflicted their wrath.

I felt the plane jolt as we began to move. I sat down, familiar enough with plane travel to know that I needed to buckle up until we were safely in the air. As if on cue, the 'Buckle Seatbelts' sign above the entrance to the cockpit turned on, neon like lights in a bar.

I texted Alice of my safe arrival before we lifted off and checked for any new messages. None. So far, no one knew I was missing. I turned the phone into airplane mode and rested my head against the seat as we began our ascent into the air.

This was it; there was no going back. I was going to Romania, for better or worse, in a last-ditch attempt to win the coming war for the sake of my mates, my coven, and the life I had built for myself.

For someone with a good sense of self-preservation, it was safe to say that I had finally lost my damned mind.

When it was safe to unbuckle my seatbelt, I stood and made my way over to the backpack that was sitting in the front row, rifling through it. A burner, a little non-perishable food, some water, and a change of clothes, just as I had asked. I used the plane's tiny restroom to change quickly, hoping that would be enough to rid me of the scent of vampire.

Then, I programmed numbers I thought I'd need into the burner: the kings, of course. Alice, Edward, and my parents. Some members of the guard: the twins, Demetri, Felix, Santiago, and Afton. I wondered if any of them had noticed that I was missing. It wasn't yet three. Afton still believed I was safe in Marcus' quarters and Marcus was too lost in himself to truly recognize my comings and goings.

With nothing left for me to do, I decided to stretch out and try to sleep for the rest of the flight, even though it was probably a pointless endeavor. I managed to snatch a few minutes' sleep here and there, but by the time Matteo's voice came over the speaker to inform me that we had changed time zones, I was filled with too much nervous energy.

This was a mistake. I was going to throw up. My skin crawled and I loathed being separated from my mates. Vulnerable. What the hell was I thinking?

"Touchdown in twenty minutes," Matteo said over the speakers. I carefully removed my Volturi crest, storing it with the burner in the waterproof bag that Alice had been wise enough to request. The burner and my crest would be hidden somewhere within the forest to be retrieved at a later date, after my change. The backpack and the rest of its contents would come with me on my five mile hike to the devil's lair.

The plane touched down with a slight bump, and I took a breath, forcing back nerves. I had to do this. It's the only way. _Whatever it takes._

It was still dark when I left the plane. I took a minute to turn off airplane mode on my phone. There was only one message from Alice. I sent her a last text saying I had landed. I wouldn't tell her goodbye. I wouldn't let my last exchange with my sister be through text. I wiped my phone, shut it off, and snapped the SD card before tossing it in the trash. I wouldn't need it where I was going.

As Alice promised, there was a car waiting for me. The back door was open, and I climbed in.

"I was told to give you this," my driver said, and she handed me a sealed envelope as I shut the door.

"Thanks," I said. The car jolted into motion and I ripped open the envelope. Inside were a map and directions to the castle. Even though I had looked at the castle countless times on maps back in Volterra, I was thankful for the directions. If I were to arrive while it was still dark, guaranteeing my best chance of escape if things went sour, I couldn't afford to get lost.

I folded it up and slipped it in the inside pocket of the leather jacket that had been provided for me. Even though I wasn't hungry, I forced myself to nibble on a granola bar. I'd need my strength for the hike. I fiddled with my watch, inputting the correct time. The car slowed to a stop on an empty stretch of road at 5:32. I had a barely over an hour until sunrise.

I pulled out the directions Alice sent, thanked the driver, and climbed out of the car, securing the backpack on my shoulders before I set off into the woods.

Yeah, I had lost my damned mind.

Once I was out of view, I cloaked myself in shadows before moving forward. I after traveling what felt like a mile, I stopped to hide my burner and crest under the exposed roots of a tree. I carved a tiny 'X' above the hiding place just to ensure I could find it again.

I stood, dusted off my knees, and increased my pace. I reluctantly dropped the shadows concealing me after I hid my items. I needed as much of an edge over the Romanians as possible, and that meant ensuring they had no idea I possessed a gift.

I was glad the night was cool, keeping me from overheating. My quick pace ensured I didn't get cold despite the breeze. It was impossible to know how far I had gone, but I kept pace and in the same direction and hoped that I would, at some point, stumble upon the castle before sunrise.

As it turns out, I didn't have to worry about that.

"Well, well, well," came an oily voice behind me. There was a muffled thump, the distinct sound of feet hitting the forest floor. I turned around slowly. "What do we have here?"

He was short and wiry, with greasy, slicked back hair and red eyes that glinted maliciously in the moonlight that trickled through the trees. I swallowed. Guess I had been heading in the right direction after all.

"A itsy human hiker, out here all alone? Should be careful where you venture, little bird. You won't like what you find." He was before me in an instant, ice-cold finger trailing the curve of my cheek. I clenched my jaw, fighting the urge to flinch.

"What's the matter, birdie? Cat got your tongue?" The last words curled out from his throat in a growl. "You shall make a lovely meal for me. There is never enough fresh blood around."

I found my voice. "I'm here to speak to the Romanians."

He stilled. "Now, how do you know about _that_?"

"I, um-" I swallowed again, heart racing. "My name is Rowan Cullen. I want to join your cause."

The vampire licked his lips, looking as if he was mulling over my statement. "Cullen… oh, very well. Perhaps your wish will be granted. But I hope not." He cackled. "We'll see."

He grabbed me and ran. I shut my eyes, nauseated by the sudden movement. It wasn't long before he dropped me again, and I stumbled to regain my footing.

"Wait here, birdie," he ordered, disappearing with a small blast of wind. He had deposited me in a grassy clearing. I rotated slowly. Behind me rose the Romanian castle, cold and foreboding. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, as if I was being watched, and I felt shadows swirling anxiously around my feet.

"My, my, Stefan. A Cullen. What an honor." They appeared so suddenly that I jumped, reacting instinctively to their unexpected appearance. "So jumpy. Antonio says you've come to join our cause."

Vladimir and Stefan were, in a word, unsettling. There was something distinctly _ancient_ about them. Stefan grinned at me, his smile much too wide. "Well?"

"Yes," I said, willing my voice not to tremble. "My name is Rowan Cullen."

"Yes, we've heard of the Cullens. The animal drinkers. The pacifists." Vladimir said all of this with a sneer, prowling around me like a cat. "Why would you want to join us? Certainly your… family doesn't approve?"

"They don't know I'm here. I told them I was done hiding and ran off. The Volturi, they have my family living in fear of if I was discovered. I don't want them or anyone else to live in that fear," I said, inflicting determination and anger into my voice.

"Why didn't the Cullens just change you, then?" Stefan asked, sounding skeptical.

"They wanted me to have my own choice," I said. For good measure, I added, "This is my choice. To help end the Volturi once and for all."

"What an enigma you are, little Rowan Cullen," Vladimir said. I didn't like how my name rolled off his tongue. "What say you, Stefan?"

"Having a Cullen could be quite helpful," Stefan mused. "Your family, they have a seer, do they not? I suppose the seer would know of your death, should we decide to kill you. Perhaps it would be… wisest to allow you entry. With you on our side, who knows? The rest of the Cullens may be shortly to follow."

"There is, of course, one more test for any who wish to join our cause," Vladimir said. The two wove behind me, pushing me towards the entrance of the castle.

"Test?" I asked, my heart speeding up.

Stefan smiled again, though his teeth were bared as if in a snarl instead. "Yes. Of course, you have nothing to worry about, as long as your intentions are true…"

"Don't worry, it is painless." Vladimir rounded me as we entered the dimly lit castle, leading the way down halls that smelled of mildew and death.

Silently, I was panicking. I hadn't considered they may have someone to test the trueness of intentions. I was here to protect my coven. That much was true. It all depended on how much of my true intentions this vampire could read.

Another vampire stood outside two heavy, half-rotted wooden doors, and pushed them open when he saw our approach. Neither Vladimir nor Stefan as much as acknowledged his existence.

"Now, Rowan Cullen," Vladimir said, walking ahead to take a seat on his throne. Stefan did the same. I halted in the middle of the room, uncertain.

"Let us see what it is you are made of," Stefan finished, motioning with a hand.

One of the several vampires who lined the room stepped forward. He had been standing just before the thrones, as if guarding the previously empty seats.

"Tell us, Caesar," Vladimir said, speaking to the vampire who had stepped forward. The vampire's red eyes glimmered in the torchlight, his expression unreadable. "Tell us the intentions of Rowan Cullen."

Caesar stalked forward until he was only a few paces away from me. I wondered if the shadows cloaking my mind would prevent him from reading me. He caught my eye, tilting his head ever-so-slightly as he regarded me. Something flickered behind his eyes and his mouth tightened. He turned to the two Romanians seated haughtily on their thrones. I flexed my fingers, ready to call the shadows to me. In the dimness of the room it would be quite easy.

"Her intentions are true," Caesar spoke, his deep voice holding a peculiar accent that I could not place.

_What?_

"Good, good," Stefan said idly, waving his hand in clear dismissal. "Go, then. Prepare her for the turn."

"I wish to sire her," Caesar said.

Vladimir leaned forward. "Oh? And why would that be?"

"She intrigues me," he said.

Stefan leered. "If that's what you want. We care not. Go."

Caesar grabbed my arm none-too-gently and escorted me out of the Romanian throne room, away from the hungry eyes of Vladimir, Stefan, and the several other vampires that laid within. Caesar did not speak to me, simply leading me deeper within the bowels of the castle. We passed several vampires. Only one stopped, starting towards me as if to attack until Caesar gave a loud snarl, cowing the other vampire into submission.

Ahead I heard screaming, faintly echoing down the hall. Caesar must have sensed my unease, because he spoke, but what he said did nothing to allay my fears. "You did not think the change was painless, did you?"

I knew the change was painful, incredibly so, but I had never heard anything like the screams of pure agony that ripped through the throats of humans in the throes of the vampiric change.

Caesar towed me into a room that was long and rectangular, with a ceiling so low that he would have to duck if he was any taller. At the far end of the room, a fire roared. Metal bedframes lined the walls, many of which held humans in the midst of the change. They were shackled to the beds, their restraints keeping them in place despite their writhing.

"Tell me," he said finally, his voice low despite the loud screams of the people around us. I had to strain to hear him. "Is it some misguided sense of heroism that brings you to this place, or mere foolishness? For I cannot imagine any other reason for the queen of vampires to venture here."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**So Rowan managed to escape Volterra and, with the help of Alice, make it to the Romanians. It was looking kind of iffy there, wasn't it? But it seems Caesar covered her... why do you think that is? What do you believe his intentions are? Let me know in the comments.**

**I know a lot of you were shooketh after the past chapter, but you all seem excited for Rowan's journey. I will note that Penance will be written exclusively in Rowan's POV, so I won't be switching back to show you mid-story the reaction of her disappearance back in Volterra. However, after Penance is completed, I will be releasing a yet-undetermined number of bonus chapters that will include the kings reacting to Rowan's disappearance. You'll just have to wait a bit before you see it. I felt like inserting a 3rd person POV shift mid-story, after writing everything to date in 1st, would be too jarring. So for the sake of my sanity and yours, the story will continue to be written in Rowan's POV and you will get 3rd POV bonus chapters at the end.**

**Kudos to all of you who reviewed last chapter! I really enjoyed reading your reactions to Rowan's decision to become a spy. Hopefully, everything will turn out alright... As always, here are some responses to your lovely reviews:**

**Guest: It is a major shock, isn't it! I know a couple people realized what was going to happen right before Rowan decided, but even they were still shocked. We haven't seen the former queens yet, but with Rowan's arrival to the Romanian castle, it's only a matter of time... and you were right, she'll be going through the change there rather than at Volterra. I'm totally on a roll and I'm so proud of myself! Social isolation doesn't exactly leave someone with a lot to do, and I've been feeling mega inspired, so I hope you've enjoyed 2 updates in 2 days! Thanks for your review!**

**Lady-Queen99: It is what I would like to refer to as a necessary evil. You were partly correct, Rowan did see some of the lower guard as she was leaving the city but they didn't see her. And Maxim in the castle, of course, who let her pass. Feel better knowing you're a far cry from the only one shocked by this. Sorry to rip her away from the kings, but as Rowan would say, "it's the only way".**

**interceptor1997: I'm so glad you enjoyed the past chapter! It was one of my favorites to write so far. Bringing Alice along would have been interesting but it would have taken too much time for her to get there, time that Rowan doesn't believe they have. I hope you enjoyed this update but I know it has done nothing to lessen the suspense. Thank you for reviewing!**

**That's all I have to say for right now, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did, please leave a review telling me what you think! Thank you all for reading and I hope you are staying safe and healthy. Catch you in the next update, folks!**

**Translations (don't yell at me if they're wrong, I used Google Translate):**  
_Scusi_ \- Pardon  
_Sto cercando il pilota Matteo_ \- I'm looking for the pilot Matteo  
_Ah! Proprio laggiù. L'aereo a strisce blu._ \- Ah! Just down there. The plane with the blue stripe.  
_Grazie_ \- Thanks  
_Signora_ \- miss


	9. 08

"Relax," Caesar said when he saw my stricken expression. "I will not harm you. Nor will I reveal who you are."

"Why are you helping me?" I whispered.

"What, do you think the Volturi are the only ones the Romanians have wronged?" He asked with a scoff. "We seem to have similar motives, you and I. I suppose that makes us allies, however foolish you may be."

"I was left with no other options," I snapped. "Why'd you ask why I'm here, anyway? Can't you see that in my face?"

"My gift does allow that, yes. But not in the way you're thinking. I know _why _you're here. Not your reasoning behind it," Caesar said. "Regardless, you are lucky."

"Lucky," I repeated, tone flat.

"As if me concealing you isn't lucky enough," Caesar said brusquely. "You are lucky the Romanians agreed to allow me to sire you."

"Sire me?" I repeated.

He breathed deeply through his nose. "Yes. Sire you, change you, they are the same. You are incredibly lucky. Do you truly think that those who create newborn armies would emerge unscathed without some way to control them?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Gods, what did the Cullens and Volturi even teach you? Newborns are uncontrollable for the first year except for by their sire. Towards their sire a newborn holds unfaltering loyalty. Be thankful that it will be my venom in your veins and not _theirs_."

"So I'm just going to, what? Follow you unquestioningly? Be willing to die for you?" I asked.

"Lay down here," Caesar ordered, motioning to the bedframe he had lead me to. "And, to answer your questions, yes. Not that I would ever ask you to lay down your life for me. You're far too important for that."

"Oh," I said. I sat down on the bedframe, uncomfortable.

"Lay down and take off your shirt," Caesar ordered.

"I- what?" I asked. "I'm not taking off my shirt! Just bite my arm or something!"

"Things are done differently here," he said. "The sooner you do this, the sooner it's over."

I complied, reluctantly tugging off my jacket before pulling my shirt over my head. "I don't like this."

"I don't doubt it. But if you weren't prepared to face the consequences, you wouldn't have come," Caesar said. "Lay down as flat as you can. I'll be back in a moment."

"Alright," I said, the cold metal of the bedframe chilling my back and shoulders. Caesar returned, a shallow tray in hand. "What's that?"

"My venom," he said simply. He walked off towards the end of the room. "Stay put."

I didn't like how he treated me like a disobedient child, but I did as he said. I couldn't see what he was doing over the other bedframes and screaming, writhing people.

"This is going to hurt," Caesar said. For the first time, he actually sounded apologetic.

"Whoa, whoa, what is that?" I asked, scooting away from the metal rod he was holding. The end was circular and fashioned into what looked to be a crude sort of crest. It was also white hot.

"Lay down," he ordered again. "Just hold still. It will hurt more if you struggle."

He dipped the white-hot end of the metal into his venom. I was panicking.

"We all have one, even those that were turned before they arrived here," he said, pushing me down flat on the bed. I yelped. "It's barbaric. A testament of our _loyalty_," he sneered. "Welcome to the Romanian coven."

He pushed the brand into the skin just below my left shoulder, above my heart. For the barest second I felt nothing. And then there was the burn, and I felt a scream rip out of my throat. Caesar set the branding tool aside. I gasped, tears streaming from my eyes as the scent of burnt flesh reached my nose.

And then the true burning began.

There was nothing but pain. Pain beyond anything I had ever experienced. The time with my father had been spent in pain.

But that was nothing. I would take the punches, the kicks, even the stab a thousand times over. I was certain my skin was melting, melting right off my bones, forming a puddle below the bed. Time became meaningless. Surely I had died, and this was hell. Hell for what I had done, for killing my father and feeling _happy _about it…

My mind drifted. I would surrender to the flames, to the burning, let it leave behind my ravaged corpse.

_"Remember why you're here." _I wasn't sure if someone had spoken or if I was hallucinating.

But over the pain, I remembered. The Cullens. The kings. The guard. Disconnected, fragmented memories flashed before my eyes.

_"Everything is kind of fuzzy after you turn. Like a dream you only just remember," Edward mused, tapping the pencil he was using to compose music against his mouth._

_"Is it like that for everyone?" I asked._

_"No, not everyone. It's a personal experience. Alice doesn't remember anything at all. Esme remembers too much. I wonder why that is. Some force of will, sheer possession of self…" he trailed off._

_"When you turn, Alec will be with you," Aro said, the Cullen living room melting away. "His gift will numb the pain."_

_"I don't want to numb the pain," I said._

_Caius' head snapped towards me. "Why not?"_

_I pondered this. "I don't know. But letting Alec sap it away… I don't know. It just seems wrong, somehow."_

_"It is your choice. But please, consider it further. You'd be putting yourself through unneeded pain. We simply want to protect you from it," Marcus said, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. Fire spread where his lips touched. Memories slipped from my mind like water._

_Pain._

_Remember._

_So much pain._

_Remember why you're here._

_Painpainpain._

_Remember who you are._

_Painpainpainpa-_

_My name is Rowan Cullen._

_Pain. Pain._

_I will rise from fire._

_Pain._

_I remember who I am._

_Pain._

_I remember why I'm here._

_Pain._

_I will not forget._

_Thump. Thump._

_I will do whatever it takes._

_Thumpthumpthump._

_I will save my coven._

_Thump. Thump._

_I am Rowan Cullen._

_Thump._

_I am queen._

Everything was silent. But no, not quite. I heard screams, distant but ever present. The scuff of shoes against stone. The low murmur of voices. The soft pitter-patter of mice.

I opened my eyes.

Everything was so _clear_. I could see the individual grooves in the stone above me. How each shade of gray melded into another. I wasn't in the same room that Caesar had branded me in. I was still on a metal bedframe, but no shackles enclosed my wrists or ankles.

I sat up. I was wearing a simple white button-down, though I don't remember anyone ever clothing me. I unbuttoned the top few and looked at the brand. What had Caesar called it? A testament of loyalty? The Romanian crest, forever burned into my skin.

I sucked under a breath. It felt unnatural, unneeded. It stoked fire in my throat. Fire, as if the effects of the venom had converged. It was all I could think about. I needed blood. Even the thought of it made the fire worse.

I heard it, and stiffened. _Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. _The burning in my throat intensified. I was standing in an instant. Another instant I was at the door. It was thrown open by another before I could do so myself.

My gaze locked on the unconscious human that was being held by… someone. It didn't matter who. Nothing mattered anymore besides quenching the fire in my throat.

"Get back!" There was a harsh snarl. I recoiled, instinctively backing up. Caesar shook his head and tossed the unconscious human on the floor.

I pounced, sinking my teeth into the soft flesh of the human's neck. Blood flowed easily into my mouth, pushed there by the human's unsuspecting heart. The blood cooled the fire in my throat, and at the same time, wasn't anything close to enough. I didn't move until there was no blood left to drain, when I looked up to see Caesar leaning against the doorframe. His red eyes looked almost bored.

I wiped away the stray droplets of blood that trickled down my chin. My throat still burned. It was if I had never fed at all. I needed _more._

"That's all you get," Caesar said, reading the predatory shift in my body language. I hissed. "That's enough of that. Stand up. Come with me. Time to learn."

"Where are we going?" I rasped, leaving the drained human on the floor. It was hard to think around the burn in my throat.

"Before you can learn anything else, you must learn control," Caesar said. His voice dropped then, well below the range of human hearing. "How much do you remember?"

"Remember? About…" I trailed.

"Everything."

My thirst was distracting. The scent of blood still lingered in the air. I did my best to ignore it. Memories from when I was human were… strange. A little fuzzy, but they were there. I _remembered_. The Cullens. The guard. The kings - my _mates_.

It was as if someone punched a hole through my heart, the pain was so acute. I doubled over.

"Easy, easy." Caesar said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and heaving me upright. "You shouldn't have come here. Everything is intensified as a newborn. Thoughts, feelings, the mate bond. Everything."

"I have to." I said, pressing my hand to my heart. I was doing this for them. I was doing this to _save _them. An animalistic part of me was sated. I was protecting my mates. I could stay away if it meant protecting my mates.

"I take it you remember, then?"

"Yes. Everything is a bit… fuzzy, but yes," I said, examining my pale fingers with interest. I had never been particularly tan, especially after living in overcast areas for years, but even what color I had seemed to be sapped from my skin.

"Good. Come on, then. You're nearly late as it is," Caesar said brusquely, urging me forward.

"You said control, that I would be learning control. What does that mean?" I asked.

He frowned. "You are being taught to control your thirst. Cave, lose control, you get punished. I would suggest, for your sake, that you do your best to keep a clear head. It will be difficult. But it is not impossible. Breathe as little as possible."

"What happens if I lose control?" I whispered.

Caesar clenched his jaw and looked away. "Don't lose control."

"Come now, Caesar! Pep talks won't save your little protégé." There was a cackle from down the hall, an oily voice that I knew all too well. "Don't worry, birdie, everyone loses control. After the first few times, you learn."

He wore a malicious smile that I didn't like. Caesar raised an eyebrow. "Remembering your countless punishments all too well, are we, Antonio? You shouldn't mock; your control is hardly better than a newborn's."

Antonio hissed at him. "Just because the masters favor you, Caesar, doesn't earn you any respect from me."

I growled at him, an instinctual response to the threat. He would not touch Caesar. Caesar put a restraining hand on my shoulder. "Settle down. Antonio, if you _ever _disrespect me again, I will not hesitate to remove your head from your body. And I can assure you: the masters will not care."

"Yes, Caesar," Antonio said mutinously, slamming his shoulder against mine as he passed.

I snarled, furious, about to lunge before Caesar grabbed me and tossed me forward. "He's not worth it. Keep moving, if you're late, they'll be more harsh."

"How much farther?" I snapped, still seething. I couldn't even put a finger on _why_. I was just angry.

"Not far," Caesar assured me. "Thank the gods your newborn temper will fade after a while. Keep your emotions in check, or you'll go too far and be torn apart by those bigger and more experienced than you."

"Alright," I said, my anger already gone nearly as quick as it had emerged. "Easier said than done."

"Doesn't matter. Control your temper. You piss someone off, it's either kill or be killed. I'm trying to save your life," he said.

"Just ahead," He said, pushing open a door to the right that had been muffling the sounds of many voices. "Doyle! Got a new one for you, fresh out."

"Excellent, just what I need- against the wall!" Doyle whipped around to snarl at one of the newborns that lined against the wall. Including me, there were eleven. I was the only girl. He turned back to Caesar and I. "Sorry 'bout that, C. You-" his eyes narrowed when he looked at me, "-get against the wall with the others."

I didn't wait to be told twice. There was something off-putting about him and I was happy to be as far away as possible. I stood in the farthest empty spot, shuffling a little further over when the newborn I stood next to growled at me for getting too close.

"Listen up!" Doyle barked at us, stalking towards us as Caesar left the room. "For most of you, this is nothing new. But for the new faces, here's how this works. You stay against the wall. You do not move off the wall, no matter what happens. If you do move off the wall, I can promise you will regret it. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Everyone but me said.

Doyle's eyes zeroed in on me, furious. I refused to drop my gaze. He strode towards me. "You deaf, newbie? Or just got no respect? When I say something, I expect 'yes, sir' or 'no, sir'. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," I said, anger surging in my veins.

"Got something to say?" He asked, seeing the fury behind my eyes.

I clenched my fists. "No, sir."

"That's what I thought. Sam, Holt, get in here!" A side door, just down the wall from where I was standing, banged open. I wasn't sure which was which, but they were so strikingly different in build that they reminded me of Demetri and Felix. Each was carrying an unconscious human, and I instinctively stiffened, the smell of them raking trails of fire down my throat.

I stopped breathing.

"Against the wall!" Doyle bellowed, slamming back one of the newborns into the wall. "You think this is difficult? Find strength within yourself! You will learn control or your instincts will have you killed! You think the Volturi are going to care that you can't control yourself at the scent of humans? That just makes you easy to kill. So get against the wall. And stay against the wall."

It was silent for a while, the only sound coming from the humans. I could hear their hearts beating steadily in their chests and the regular inhale and exhale of breath. Doyle, Sam, and Holt prowled up and down the walls, growling at anyone who dared twitch.

"You," Doyle growled, stopping in front of me. I tried to keep my expression neutral. "You're doing surprisingly well for someone who just completed the turn. What a miracle." He sneered. "Or, more probably, you're not breathing. You won't learn control by holding your breath. I suggest you start breathing or I'll rip your arms off."

I was one-hundred percent certain that he was serious. My throat was already burning at the thought of inhaling. I took a shallow breath. A flip switched in my brain.

I didn't even realize I had moved until I was slammed into the wall opposite. I shot up again, growling at my attacker. It was the lean one. He crouched, hissing. "Try to fight. I dare you."

I snarled at him. The scent of blood was clouding my senses. I lunged. He had me by the throat in a blink, pinned to the floor. I surged upwards, grabbing his face and snapping his head back so forcefully that cracks appeared on his neck.

Someone else grabbed me, pulling me back despite my wild struggle.

"That's what I thought," Doyle snarled. "See how easy it is to fight back without your arms."

His words didn't register until the bulky vampire that reminded me of Felix grabbed me, forcing back both of my arms. I struggled against him, spitting with rage.

That's when I heard them. Whispering to me. Calling to me. Gathering around my fingertips. Shadows. I started laughing. I could feel them, all around the room. I would smother these vampires. I would drown them. I would destroy them. They would die in the dark like the cowards they were.

Pain ripped through my arm, the shadows dissipating as my concentration snapped. I roared in pain as the same happened to my other arm.

"See what happens when you don't get against the wall?" Doyle asked, his voice deceptively soft. He held my arms up for me to see. Pain radiated from where they had been torn off at the shoulder. "If you behave, newbie, I'll think about giving these back at the end."

He tossed my arms away, into the far corner, as the bulky vampire forced me back against the wall. Another newborn had taken advantage of the distraction, darting forward and sinking his teeth into one of the humans' arms, black eyes greedy and half-crazed with thirst. I immediately held my breath, a mixture of pain and sense enough to keep me in place.

Doyle whipped around as the scent of blood hit the air. "What are you doing? Last chance, Victor!"

Victor didn't move, too engrossed in feeding, and didn't see as Doyle approached from the back and twisted Victor's head off his body with gruesome enjoyment.

"Take care of this, Holt," Doyle said, kicking Victor's body aside. A few of the other newborns against the wall edged forward, scenting the blood, but perhaps they had faced the same painful consequences as I had, because they had enough control to not go on a frenzy.

"One hour," Doyle said to us as Holt, the lean vampire who had originally grabbed me, detached Victor's head from the human's arm. Blood pulsed from the wound, gathering in a pool on the floor. "Resist for an hour. And then… well, may the best man win. Oh, and newbie, love… don't forget to breathe."

I bared my teeth at him. I wanted nothing more to rip his head from his shoulders. He was cruel and savage and rubbed me entirely the wrong way. I breathed as shallowly as I could possibly muster, each intake of air akin to a white-hot poker being shoved down my throat. The minutes ticked by. Other than the occasional disturbance, the room was still. My arms - that is, where my arms used to be - continued to ache, but it was nothing compared to the transformation, whose pain was still fresh in my mind.

I noticed on breath 312 that the pain was becoming a little easier to bear. On breath 704 I was able to think about more than the blood that coated the floor and still oozed from the human's arm.

"Time!" Doyle bellowed on breath 910. It was like a bomb went off. The newborns that lined the wall now fought against each other for even a drop of blood from the two humans that lay immobile on the floor. Without arms, I held no chance of sinking my teeth into either of them. Wisely, I stayed against the wall.

"Newbie! What are you doing?" Doyle demanded, spotting my motionless form.

"I have no arms," I said, forcing myself to adopt the most polite tone I could muster. Once again, blood was hazing my senses. "I wouldn't stand a chance."

"Ah, those. Good luck reattaching them," Doyle said, grinning cruelly.

I spotted Caesar enter the room and eye the entire scene in distaste. I was by his side in an instant. He frowned when he saw me. "Happens to everyone," he said, almost as if he was trying to make me feel better.

"Help, please?" I asked.

"Savages," Caesar muttered as Doyle shouted at Sam and Holt, the three of them trying to gain a semblance of order over the other newborns. "You're doing quite well."

"It still hurts," I said. I had gone back to holding my breath.

"It'll only get worse," he said, reattaching one of my arms. Slowly, feeling came back to it. It tingled, like when I was still human and it fell asleep. He reattached the other arm. "You'll have control training every day."

"Every day?" I asked in disbelief.

"Every day until you prove you're in control. And that is up to Doyle to decide," Caesar said. "It will get progressively harder."

"How much harder?" I asked. He ushered me from the room.

"You will enter one day and your eyes will be black," he said simply. "But put it from your mind for now. Combat training isn't for another six hours, so in the meantime, I'm taking you to receive your assignment."

**************⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**************

**VAMPIRE ROWAN VAMPIRE ROWAN VAMPIRE ROWAN! ****Sorry, got a bit excited there. But at long last, you finally get to see Rowan as a vampire. Unlike Bella, she doesn't have that perfect self-control. You got a tiny glimpse of her ability in this chapter, but you won't get to see her truly harness it yet. Also, you get to see that Caesar is indeed on her side, even if he's working off his own agenda rather than for the Volturi. Caesar is a big favorite of mine, so let me know what you think of him! You'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. **

**Thank you all for reviewing, I really appreciate the encouragement and I'm glad that you're enjoying the direction that Penance is going! Let me know what you think about Rowan as a vampire, and what you think is in store for her within the Romanian coven. What do you think the assignment that Caesar is talking about will be? You'll find out next chapter, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And as always, here are replies to some of your comments:**

**xlDarkstarlx: Well, you got to see what happened between Rowan and Caesar. I hope you enjoyed how it played out. You'll be learning a lot more about Caesar in the future so I hope you like his character so far. Definitely not weird to want Caesar to kill one of the Romanians. I can't tell you if he does or not, of course, but I totally get why you want him to. Rowan is going to be freaking AWESOME as a vampire and, like you said, you'll get to witness her learning to use her powers. She's no Mary Sue and has a lot to learn before she's ready to face up against the Romanians and the former queens in battle.**

**Luceoscura: Thank you so much! I know there were some folks who weren't at all surprised that Rowan ended up in Romania. A common theory I saw was that she would be kidnapped. She went there by choice, so not quite the same, but she still ended up in Romania regardless. You will definitely get a bonus chapter (or maybe 2) about the fallout of her leaving Volterra. I would absolutely not leave you guys wondering like that and I'm dying to write it myself. Hopefully reading more about Caesar this chapter has helped answer some of your questions. Thanks for reviewing!**

**seventhhaven: I think everyone is hoping that! I know everyone is excited for her change, and I'm really looking forward to writing Rowan as a vampire. It's gonna be so much fuuuun. Hopefully some of your questions about Caesar were answered this chapter, though I'm sure you still have more. And as I mentioned, you'll be seeing more of how her powers have developed soon! And yes, there was - the scene you're thinking of is Tenebrous' epilogue. **

**I hope you all are staying safe and healthy! Make sure to leave a review letting me know what you think and I'll see you in the next update!**


	10. 09

"Assignment?" I asked with trepidation.

Caesar looked down at me, an amused gleam in his eye. "Yes, assignment. Not all time here is spent training, though a majority of it is. You work your assignment outside of training."

"Do you know what I'll be doing?"

"I have some idea," Caesar said. His voice dropped low, so only I could hear him. "When we seek audience, follow my lead. Whatever I do, you do. They demand respect, especially from women."

"I- what?" I asked, speaking in the same low volume.

His lips pressed into a thin line. "You heard me. Follow my lead, and everything will be fine."

"Alright," I agreed. I was angry again.

Caesar seemed to notice. "I would also recommend _not _looking like you want to murder the lot of them."

"Duly noted," I muttered, taking an unneeded breath and smoothing my features. I imagined ripping Stefan's head from his shoulders and smiled.

"That's more like it," Caesar approved. We rounded the corner, and I was once again faced with the rotting wooden doors that lead into the throne room. I barely repressed a sneer.

The same vampire that had been standing outside when I first ventured here opened the door for us. I hurried to match Caesar's long strides. In the middle of the room, he dropped to one knee, head bowed, staring at the floor.

Follow his lead, he had said. I did the same.

The back of my neck prickled as we were watched. Finally, Vladimir spoke. "You may rise. So, Caesar, your pet has completed her first session with Doyle. How did that go for her?"

"She lost her arms," Caesar said calmly once we were both standing once more. "However, another was most unfortunate as to lose his head. I suppose he must have lost control one too many times."

"Just as well. There is no room for error here," Stefan drawled. "So, Cullen, you're here to receive your assignment. I must admit, it has been a puzzle as to where we should place you."

"Count yourself fortunate for your family name. We would have little use for you otherwise. Surely you have noticed by now that our force is comprised of primarily men? There are only a few exceptions. Women are of little use to us," Vladimir said, leaning languidly back in his throne.

I kept my expression and tone neutral. "I consider myself very lucky, master. I will not disappoint."

"Good, good. Not that our expectations are particularly high. They never are when it comes to the weaker sex," Stefan said, smirking. He seemed to have noticed the anger lit behind my eyes. "Humans are so progressive nowadays. Women being permitted to hold jobs, to own property, to vote? I cannot even imagine what they might dream up next. Fortunately, when we seize power over the vampire world, we will make sure the rightful order is restored, among vampire _and _humankind alike."

I opened my mouth hotly, words on the tip of my tongue, but the door behind Caesar and I opened before I had the chance to speak.

"Come now, dearest Stefan, that's no way to talk about the more delicate sex," said a lilting voice. Caesar sank down into a kneel once more, giving me a sharp sidelong glance that said I was to do the same. I did.

"It is, after all, the more delicate sex that has ensured your victory in this war," chimed a second voice.

"Sulpicia, Athenodora, we had no intentions to offend," Vladimir said. Scratch ripping of Stefan's head. It was the _queens _I wanted.

"Of course not, darling. Who's this seeking an audience with you? Caesar, you may rise, if you will. Such respect as is given is respect earned," the first woman spoke again.

"Thank you, Queen Athenodora. You are the picture of grace," Caesar said, rising. I stayed kneeling, despite everything in me screaming to challenge the individuals who threatened my mates.

"You are all charm," Athenodora said. "Who's this with you? It isn't often we accept another lady into our midst. You are so severe on us women, Vladimir, Stefan."

"It is the way of the world," Vladimir drawled.

"Rise, child, and tell us your name," Sulpicia said. I stood, clasping my hands behind my back so they would not see how they trembled with rage.

I kept my face neutral. "My name is Rowan Cullen."

"Ah, a Cullen. How intriguing. I suppose that _is _why Vladimir and Stefan decided to change you. What a powerful coven you are part of. How Aro ranted about them." Sulpicia wound around me. Her hair was a deep brown, like mine, and though strikingly pretty her eyes glittered with hatred. "Why didn't you tell us of her arrival, Stefan, dear?"

So not only had the queens joined the Romanians, but they were sleeping with them, too. I couldn't say I was surprised.

"I didn't find it to be of any particular importance," Stefan said, sounding almost apologetic.

"Perhaps your coven would be willing to join us," Athenodora said, hooking a finger under my chin so that my eyes were tilted up to meet hers. "Hmm?"

"I don't know," I said, voice trembling. "I doubt they realize I'm here."

"Oh, no need to be afraid of us, child," Athenodora said, misreading the tremble in my voice as fear rather than fury. She released my chin from her grasp and seated herself on the arm of Vladimir's throne. She brushed aside a strand of golden blonde hair. "We'll see about your coven, shan't we? I'm sure you miss them terribly."

"Yes, I do," I said, which was clearly the answer she was searching for.

"As for your assignment," Stefan said, clearly tiring of this conversation, "we were loath to give you any duty of true importance, but our youngest member needs looked after."

Vladimir leaned forward, eyes glinting in the torchlight. "I would recommend you treat him with care. Those he dislikes tend to be burned."

"Caesar, be a dear and show the young Cullen to her quarters as well," Athenodora said, batting her eyelashes at him.

"As her sire, I would much appreciate if she would stay in my quarters," Caesar said, smirking. "I have served you well, masters. And I have needs."

Stefan had a lecherous smile on his face, whether due to my look of horror or the general nature of Caesar's request I was not certain. "Of course, Caesar. So long as she is fit to complete her duties when needed, you may deal with her as you please."

"One last note," Vladimir said, as if the previous conversation had not just occurred, "is her free hour takes place at 2200 hours. Dismissed."

Athenodora slung her leg over Vladimir's, straddling him. Caesar turned sharply and strode towards the door. I followed.

"First, we'll have you acquainted with Hugo," Caesar said, promptly ignoring the disbelieving looks I was sending his way.

"Can I ask about-"

"Not now," he hissed. I snapped my mouth shut.

We traveled a little farther in silence before I decided to try a different angle. "Who's Hugo?"

"Your charge. He is our side's witch twins. However, like the twins, he is… rather young. He needs looking after," Caesar said.

"How young are we talking?" Were the Romanians seriously foolish enough to create an immortal child?

"He is eleven, barely an adolescent. Just old enough to not be considered an immortal child," Caesar said. His voice dropped. "He is not meant for this life."

"Meaning?"

"You'll see," Caesar said. He stopped in front of one of the many doors that lined this section of hall and rapped twice.

The door was thrown open almost immediately, and I was faced with a beaming, round-faced boy. He had a shock of curly dark hair on his head and tanned skin that remained despite his obvious vampirism.

"Caesar!" He exclaimed, looking nothing short of thrilled at seeing my companion. "You never visit me! Who's that? Is she your girlfriend? Is she your mate? Is she a newborn too? Is she-"

"Hugo, if you keep asking questions, how am I to answer any of them?" Caesar said, a distinctly humorous edge to his voice.

"Oh, right." He beamed at us. "Come in!"

Caesar and I filed into the room that, with two adults and Hugo inside, was now slightly cramped. Caesar smiled at Hugo, the first genuine one I had ever seen. "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"Right, right! _Hola_, I'm Hugo! The coven's resident firebender!" He grinned, looking up at me as if he had just told the world's funniest joke. I laughed, just to humor him, and he lit up.

"I'm Rowan, Rowan Cullen," I said. "Vl- I mean, the masters have asked me to look after you."

Hugo sulked. "I don't need a babysitter! I'm eleven years old! Almost twelve, I think- what day is it?"

"It is April 4th," Caesar informed him.

"Almost twelve," Hugo said decisively. "In two more months."

"She's not here to babysit you. Rowan is simply here to ensure that no one picks on you," Caesar said. "I am aware that you are more than old enough to look after yourself, as you have told me such many times."

"Good! I suppose you can stay, then," Hugo said, staring at me brightly. "Do you like cartoons? I've got a TV in here! It's only got a couple channels, but Caesar has been teaching me Romanian so I understand what they're saying!"

_This _was the Romanians' secret weapon? A boy who looked as if he wouldn't harm a fly?

"I enjoy cartoons," I encouraged.

"_Bueno_! We'll get along fine, then," Hugo said confidently.

"You speak Spanish?" I asked him.

"_Si_! I grew up in Spain," he said. "Why, do you?"

_"Si. _I have a _tia _who would have my hide if I didn't remain fluent," I said, thinking fondly of Auntie Carmen.

"Neato! So we can talk in Spanish sometimes, then? No one else knows it here, besides Caesar, but he says we'll get in trouble if we get caught speaking a different language with each other," Hugo said.

"I suppose," I said slowly.

Caesar shrugged. "You're his caretaker. The masters won't forbid it, so long as it makes Hugo more comfortable. Which is does, correct?"

"_Si!_" Hugo said, grinning toothily at Caesar.

"Well, Hugo, I trust you can remain by yourself for a little while longer. Rowan and I have one more errand to run before she can join you," Caesar said.

Hugo nodded vigorously, his curls bouncing. "I'll be fine!"

"And if anyone bothers you?" Caesar asked.

"I burn them," Hugo replied instantly.

This seemed to be a common exchange between the two, because Caesar ruffled Hugo's curls. "Good boy. Come, Rowan. I'll show you to where your quarters are. Any further questions you have may be answered when we reach there."

"_Encantada de conocerte_, Rowan! See you soon!" Hugo said, waving as we walked out of the room.

"Hugo is a good kid," Caesar said, leading me down the cramped halls once more. "I'll show you to my quarters, though I suppose they are yours as well."

It was a short trip, only one hallway over. The doors here were spaced farther apart and made out of finer wood. Caesar pulled out a key from his pocket and let us in.

"What's the point of the lock?" I asked curiously. No lock would stop a vampire that truly wanted to enter.

Caesar gave me a sidelong glance. "It's meant to show status, not to protect against unwanted visitors. It says that I have earned the right to privacy. Did you not notice that none of the doors in the other hall had locks?"

"I wasn't paying attention," I confessed. "I was too busy worrying about Hugo, who looks about as harmless as a fly, by the way."

"And now you see what I mean," Caesar said. "We can talk relatively freely here, as long as we keep our voices low. This room is as close to soundproofed as they come in this old castle."

"Why the hell did you essentially tell the Romanians that you're using me as your concubine?" I asked.

Caesar sounded slightly exasperated. "Did you ever stop to think that this would allow you to enter and leave my quarters without arousing suspicion? I promise I have no intentions of bedding you."

"I hadn't thought of that," I said.

"I am not surprised. I have been around a long time, long enough to know all the tricks in the book and then some," Caesar said.

"How old _are _you?"

"Older than those kings of yours," Caesar said. "Older than the Romanians."

"Were you the first?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "The first vampire? No. That honor belonged to my elder brother."

"How did he become a vampire?" I asked eagerly.

"Truthfully, I do not know. The people of my time believed him to be blessed by the gods. Or cursed. I do not know about either of those things. What I do know is that he went on a solitary journey of enlightenment after the death of our mother and returned changed. He never told me the particulars of how he changed. He claimed to have found the fountain of youth, but would not divulge more. Regretfully, he will never have the chance."

"What happened?"

Caesar hissed. "As I said, you think you are the only one here whom the Romanians have wronged? Like the Volturi, my brother and I understood the need for secrecy. When the Romanians began flaunting what they were freely, he was the first to stand against them. I was, at the time, on the southern tip of Africa. It wasn't uncommon for us to separate for centuries at a time. When I returned to Europe, I found out my brother had died at the hands of the Romanian coven and the Volturi had seized control of the vampire world."

"So why didn't you just kill them then?"

"I considered it. But I knew that the Volturi were collecting those with gifts such as mine, and killing the Romanians then would bring unnecessary attention to myself. I would likely obtained by them, one way or another. So I waited. And now the hour has come," Caesar said.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"I heard they were beginning to amass an army once more around May of last year. I joined them, offering my services. This was several months before the queens sought them out. With my gift, it was easy to gain their trust. I know you wonder why I am treated with such respect," he said. "I am their third in command. They trust me implicitly. But on my own I couldn't take them down, even as early as I joined their ranks. I believed those they recruited - not the newborns, but the others - would revolt after growing tired of Vladimir and Stefan's disrespect. But they never did. Then the queens arrived, and we heard of the human mate of the kings living in Volterra."

"Me," I said.

"You, yes. I've been waiting a very long time to act; perhaps that makes me a coward. But with you on my side, there may yet be a chance to win this war and get the revenge I have long desired."

"You said that Hugo is the Romanians' equivalent of Jane and Alec. What can he _do_, exactly?"

"Surely you've figured it out by now," he said.

"Fire."

"Yes. He can summon it from nothing, control it. I've never seen anything like it. With a snap of his fingers he could burn a vampire to ash."

"Is he on our side?"

Caesar frowned. "A good question. Vladimir is his sire, so he is naturally loyal to him, but Hugo has not yet witnessed the horror of war that they wish to thrust upon him. The boy holds the power to decimate our kind, but he is no killer. I am hoping to convince him to defect, or at the very least, to not fight. Since you'll be watching over him, that duty will pass to you."

"I'll do my best," I promised.

"If you don't mind, I do have a few questions for you," Caesar said. "I have been transparent with you, so I would appreciate the same courtesy."

"Certainly. It's the least I can do," I said.

He nodded. "I appreciate it. First, you know that by coming here, you have left the relative safety and civility that came with living in Volterra. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to survive here. Even if it means killing another. Are you up to the task?"

"Yes," I said. Caesar didn't look quite convinced. "I have no qualms. I killed my father."

"Why?"

"He abused me, kidnapped me, and threatened my family. So I ripped his throat out," I said, scowling at the mere memory of him.

"You have more grit than I would have thought. Does the Volturi know that you are here?"

"Well, they do now. When we realized the queens were here, feeding Vladimir and Stefan information, I realized that the only possible way for us to win this war is if I was able to do the same for them. There was no one else who could come in my stead. So I snuck out, with Alice's help, and made my way here," I said.

"Impressive. You are something of an enigma, Rowan Cullen," he said. "Is there anything else I should know that could impact our alliance?"

"I have a gift," I said, my voice dropping so low that even he had to strain to hear.

"What sort?"

"Shadows," I said. "I was able to hide in them as a human. They protected me. It's stronger now, though. I can feel it. The call of the dark…"

"You'll need to train with it. Whatever you could do as a human has doubtless increased a hundredfold. We'll work on that, and on more intensive battle training, while we're here together. Vladimir and Stefan won't intrude if they believe us to be… otherwise occupied." Caesar smirked.

"Can I try something?" I asked, mind still on my powers, focused on the shadows I could feel in the room. I was hyperaware of them, how they lurked in the corners, whispering for me to harness them to do my bidding.

"What would you like to try?"

"I want to use my gift to hide myself. Maybe you, too, if I can," I said. Caesar gestured for me to go ahead.

I barely had to focus for the shadows to envelop me. Caesar looked shocked. "Useful, but is that not something you could already do as a human?"

The shadows hissed around me, whispering forgotten words in my ears. They sensed the challenge. I directed them, ordering them to wrap around Caesar. They obliged, washing over him like a wave. He locked eyes with me, seeing me now that we were both wrapped in the shadows.

"How's that?" I challenged.

"Parlor tricks," he said, goading me on.

I felt the shadows as they twisted around my arms, waiting for instruction. I flicked my hand towards him. He ducked, barely avoiding the shards that shot towards them and hit the wall, sinking slightly into the stone.

My eyes widened. "I couldn't do _that _when I was human."

"Didn't think so," Caesar said.

I lifted a hand, entranced by how the shadows wound around my fingers. They whispered in my ear. I could defeat the Romanians now. They wouldn't know what hit them. The shadows would protect me. It would smother them. Snuff them out like candles. They would be powerless against me. I would show them what true power was. They would kneel and call _me_ queen.

Caesar grabbed my wrist, the whispers dying as we made eye contact. "Do not let your emotions rule your gift. You control the shadows. Not the other way around."

"What's happening to me?" I asked, the shadows ebbing away from our figures.

"You are adapting. You are learning the scope of your abilities. It happens to us all," he said. "I'll escort you back to Hugo, unless you have any other questions."

"Just two," I said. He stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. "First is what were the Vladimir referring to when he said my free hour is at 2200 hours?"

"Ah, that. You get one hour of free time a day to do as you please. I would suggest you send the information you have gathered then. It isn't uncommon for vampires to spend that time in the woods. You wouldn't be missed. Next question."

I nodded. "Can I see myself in the mirror?"

Caesar chuckled and nodded towards the door that I assumed lead to the bathroom. "Go ahead. I forget that you haven't even had a chance to see yourself yet. Immortality suites you, I must say."

"Thanks, Caesar," I said. I entered the bathroom, took a breath, and looked in the mirror.

I barely recognized myself. All the imperfections that I had as a human were gone. There was no more scar above my eyebrow where my father split it open with a punch, no more cigarette butt scars on my arms; I didn't have as much of a freckle.

But what stood out to me the most, what I had longed for over anything else, were my eyes. They were no longer the piercing blue that haunted my dreams. They were now a deadly, bloody red.

I am no longer weak, human Rowan Ailes. I am Rowan Cullen, vampire. And I will make the Romanians rue the day they chose to stand against the Volturi.

******************⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰******************

**Fun fact: Hugo was an unplanned, last-minute addition to the outline. He's actually helped bring everything together. What do you think of him? You also learned more about Caesar's backstory and met the queens. Were they as awful as you expected? This won't be the last you see of them, that's for sure. And you got to witness a bit more of Rowan's powers as a vampire. What do you think about them? You'll be seeing her practicing and utilizing her powers a lot more in the future. So to sum up, a lot happened in this chapter and I'd love to hear your thoughts.  
**

**Thanks to all who have commented, I really appreciate your encouragement and I've loved reading all of your thoughts and speculation about what is to come! It really makes my day. Here are some responses to what you had to say about the previous chapter:**

**animexchick: Good question! The answer is no, they cannot feel any of her pain (just as she cannot feel any of theirs). Pain comes from the mate bond as a result of separation.**

**leward1992: Thank you! And yes, it's completely brutal and really highlights the savagery of the Romanians versus the civility of the Volturi.**

**Clarinetgoddess62: That's hard to say. I don't outline per-chapter so it's really difficult for me to even hazard a guess as to how many chapters Penance would be. I don't think it'll be as long as Tenebrous but that's the most I can say about length.**

**xlDarkstarlx: I'm really glad you like Caesar! He's definitely a bit intense and harsh but he has her best interests in mind, as seen when he got the Romanians to agree to him siring her so that she wouldn't be loyal to them as a result of the venom. And honestly I think the branding is a stroke of genius and I'm still shocked that I managed to come up with it (not to toot my own horn or anything). I hope you enjoyed the first interaction of true queen Rowan with the former queens and seeing a bit more of her ability. Your reviews always crack me up, thank you so much for taking the time to tell me what you think!**

**seventhhaven: As you can see from this chapter, her powers are absolutely easier to tap into now that she's a vampire. There was another person over on Wattpad who actually compared Caesar to an uncle figure as well, so I think it's funny that you all are thinking on the same lines. I'm glad you're enjoying my exploring the bond between creator and newborn as well, it's super interesting and I'm hoping to detail it more as Penance continues. And yes, their methods are absolutely brutal but effective. But the kings won't be happy when they find out all she went through while with the Romanians. I'm glad you're looking forward to what's to come and though the story will continue in Rowan's POV I hope you're looking forward to the bonus chapters which will be in the kings' POV. Thank you so much for reviewing!**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'm working on finishing the last few weeks of my college semester, so I can't promise updates will be quite as regular as they have been (I was on spring break last week, hence the steady updates) but I'll do my best to get updates out fairly regularly so you won't have to wait too long. I love you all and I hope you are staying safe and healthy. Until the next update, guys!**

**Translations:  
**_Encantada de conocerte_ \- Nice to meet you


	11. 010

"This is where I leave you," Caesar said, the two of us once again standing outside Hugo's door. "I have other duties that need tended to, and Hugo is your responsibility now. He will be able to show you to combat training at the appropriate time, and I will see you then."

"You train with us?" I asked.

He smirked. "I don't train _with _you, I train you. Until then, do your best not to get killed. This castle is not one to wander about freely. Hugo knows the safe areas. And before I forget, here is your key to our quarters."

"Thanks, Caesar. For everything," I said, pocketing the key he presented me.

"Don't thank me yet," he said. "Good luck."

And then he was gone. I felt uneasy without him; I had grown accustomed to his presence and he offered a certain measure of protection against the threats that lurked here at every turn. I knocked lightly on Hugo's door, resolving to convince Hugo to join Caesar and I against the Romanians. One of Vladimir's newborns, Caesar had said. Hugo's loyalty to his creator would complicate things. But I wouldn't let him be a victim of this war, not if I could help it.

Hugo opened the door, a grin on his face. "Welcome back, _amiga_! You were gone a while!"

"I had a couple questions that Caesar answered before I returned," I said.

"I like Caesar. He's always been super nice to me. Not like everybody else," he closed the door and glanced around, as if afraid of being overheard. Then he whispered, "They scare me a little."

"It's okay to be scared," I told him. "Sometimes fear is what keeps you alive."

He nodded sagely. "I understand. Hey, do you want to see what I can do? The masters are always encouraging me to practice and now I have someone to help!"

"Sure," I said, smiling at his enthusiasm.

"Okay! There's a special room they have for me to practice in. They said it's to make sure I don't burn down the castle. But I don't see how I could." He wrinkled his nose. "It's stone."

I laughed. "Good point. But better safe than sorry, I suppose."

I wish this damned castle would burn to the ground.

"Yes, probably. I'll lead the way, c'mon!" Hugo said, darting out of the room. I ran to follow him, growing accustomed to my new vampire speed. Caesar had a tendency to walk everywhere, but this was not the case with Hugo. I grinned. I loved the speed.

"Here we are," Hugo said, stopping abruptly. "You're supposed to have a key to get in, but…" he patted down his pockets. "Ah, oops, I must have left it in my room." So off back to his room we went.

"Where did you last see it?" I asked, watching in bemusement as he flashed around his room in search.

"I don't remember," he said before darting around again, muttering as he searched. "_M_a_má me mataría por esto._"

"It's alright, Hugo. It happens," I said kindly. "Would you like some help searching?"

He stopped, staring at me with wide eyes. "Help? _Si_, if you want!"

"Have you tried the key holder?" I asked, pointing to the small rack that hung on the wall. There were two keys on it.

"Ah," he said, smacking his palm against his forehead. "Caesar always puts them there. I always forget."

I attributed his forgetfulness to being stuck perpetually as a child, rather than any fault in his vampire memory. "That's okay, Hugo. It's why I'm here."

He took the larger of the two keys from its place. "It's this one. The other is for Caesar's room. He says I'm welcome any time. But I don't want to bother him, so I've never went."

We left his room once more, returning to the locked door. "If he's invited you, Hugo, I don't think you would be bothering him if you ever stopped by."

"Don't want to annoy him," Hugo said, sticking the key into the lock and turning it. The door clicked open. "I like Caesar. But even he scares me. Just a little."

"He does have a perpetually annoyed look to him, doesn't he?" I asked, a grin climbing up my face.

Hugo nodded, his curls flopping around. "_Si_, he does. Maybe he just doesn't like many here. He doesn't look annoyed when he looks at you. Are you his mate? Is that why? Caesar told me about them in passing. I don't want one. They sound gross."

I laughed. "No, Caesar isn't my mate. He's just a friend to me."

"You're my friend too, right?" Hugo asked, his curiosity about Caesar and I apparently sated.

"Yeah, Hugo, we're friends," I said, ruffling his hair.

He grinned. "Good. Let me show you what I can do! It's real cool!"

"Whenever you're ready," I encouraged, shutting the door.

"Don't be scared, I won't hurt you," Hugo promised, his eyes bright in the darkness. He snapped his fingers. The unlit torches around me sprung to life, fire appearing from nothing and brightening the once-dark room.

"Whoa," I breathed. "Hugo, that's incredible."

"I can do this, too, look," Hugo said, cupping his hands. A flame grew within his palms, hovering just above his skin.

"Will fire burn you?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head. "No. That was the first thing the masters tested. Though I suppose it could, if someone took my head off."

"What else can you do?" I asked.

"Caesar said I could burn a vampire alive if I wished. But I don't want to do that," Hugo said, shuddering. "Sometimes I use my gift to burn vampires here, though. But not to kill them. Just so they leave me alone."

"What do they do to you?" This wasn't the first time he had mentioned the other vampires of the coven being antagonistic towards him.

He frowned, the troubled expression aging his young face. "They don't like that the masters treat me different. So they try to take my arms, or my legs. Sometimes even my head. But they only try that during combat training, when they can get away with it. Caesar always stops them before they can take my head, though. No one else ever does."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'll do my best to keep you safe, Hugo."

"_Gracias_," Hugo said, brightening. "Say, do you have a gift? Caesar does. His is neat. But not as cool as mine." He stared entranced at the flame that still flickered in his palms.

"No," I lied. "I don't have a gift. At least, I don't think I do. I'm still pretty new."

"Don't give up, you may have one! The masters treat those that have gifts nicer," he said. "So try to have one."

"I'm not sure that's something I can control," I said with a grin.

"Maybe not. Gifts sure are neat, though. I feel like a superhero," Hugo said, closing his hands and extinguishing the flame that danced within them.

"Do you want to keep practicing?" I asked him.

"Nah, not right now. We can do it later. I've been reading a comic book that Hiram brought me last time he visited me. He says I'm his greatest accomplishment," Hugo said. We left the room, and Hugo hadn't gone but a few feet before turning to lock the door.

"Who's Hiram?" I asked, feeling slightly bad that I was probing Hugo for information. Compared to the rest of them, he was innocent.

"The masters call Hiram our secret weapon. He can find people with gifts, like me!" Hugo said.

"Do you know when you'll next see Hiram?" I asked. I needed as much information as possible to pass on to Demetri, who would be the only one able to find him.

"I don't know. He comes and goes often. The masters aren't pleased with him right now. His gift doesn't tell him what sort of gift someone has. Just that they have one. He brought back a human last trip whose only gift was to make people kinder."

"Was?"

"The masters killed him," Hugo whispered, eyes wide. "And they sent Hiram away and told him not to come back until he found something truly useful. That was two weeks ago."

So their sensor wasn't nearly as powerful as Eleazar. That, at least, was a relief. But Hiram had still managed to find Hugo, whose power could be absolutely devastating if his nature wasn't perfectly cheerful. It was only a matter of time before Hiram found someone with a deadly gift and personality to match.

We arrived back at Hugo's room. He immediately grabbed a Spider-Man comic from his desk and plopped down on his sofa, burying his nose in it. "Hugo," I said, after we had spent some time in silence.

He looked up, pushing a few stray curls out of his eyes. "Huh?"

"The combat training, what's it like?"

"Oh," he grimaced. "I suppose I would like learning how to fight. But not like how they teach it. Caesar is good at his job, but he can't watch everyone at once. So it ends up being really brutal if you can't fight well, like me. You learn a little and then they toss you in the ring."

"The ring?" I echoed.

"Well, it's not a _real _ring. Most of training, once you get past the beginner lessons, involve everyone standing in a ring with two to four people fighting. It's scary. Caesar banned me from anything more than one on one fights after the person that was supposed to be my ally ganged up on me with the two we were fighting."

I swallowed nervously. "That sounds intense."

"It is. Caesar says some have a knack for it," Hugo said. "I don't."

"It's alright, Hugo. Not everyone is cut out for a life like this," I said.

Hugo stared at me, eyes piercing. "Why are you so different from the rest? You and Caesar?"

"Not everyone is cruel, Hugo," I said softly. "This isn't the only way of life. My family, the Cullens, drink the blood of animals. They don't harm humans."

"We can do that?" Hugo asked, eyes round.

"Yes. Maybe you could try someday, if you wanted," I said.

He wrinkled his nose. "No. Humans never did anything for me."

I was startled by the words that sounded as if they had been stolen straight from my own mouth. "Me neither."

"Was your _M_a_má _mean to you, too?" He asked, hugging his knees to his chest.

"No," I said, everything about this boy suddenly clicking into place. "But my dad was."

"My dad left when I was little. I don't remember him. _M_a_má _drank a lot. She said it was my fault he left," he said.

"My mom died in a car accident when I was three. I was there, and my dad always blamed me," I told him. "We're not so different."

"You said you live with the Cullens. What happened to your dad?" Hugo asked.

"I escaped, and the Cullens found me. They took me in. Last August my dad kidnapped me. I had to kill him," I said.

Hugo looked at me in awe. "You're really tough."

"So are you," I said, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "We're made of tougher stuff than anyone knows."

"_Si_. If only everyone else could see that," Hugo said, grinning largely.

"We'll make them see," I said seriously. "Someday, they'll all see."

Hugo smacked his fist into his palm. "We'll make them see," he echoed.

I let him go back to reading his comic book. Once he finished, he turned on the television, seeming to understand the exclusively-Romanian channels.

I checked my watch. "What time is combat training?"

Hugo didn't look away from the TV. "1800 hours."

6:00 P.M. Half an hour until I would witness their savage fighting methods and take part in it myself. "We'll need to leave soon."

_"Lo sé,"_ he said. He didn't so much as twitch until 5:55, when he turned off the television and stood. I wondered how he knew what time it was. "C'mon, we won't be late. We're fast now, _recuerda_?"

"_Lo sé_, Hugo," I said. "I remember."

We left his room, running down the dank, dim halls of the castle. I followed after Hugo, who obviously knew exactly where he was going. We emerged from the castle into the large, grassy clearing that I had stood in when I had initially arrived; however, instead of being empty, it now held upwards of fifty vampires of all sizes and builds. The group was primarily men, but I spotted a few women milling about the crowd.

Hugo stayed glued to my side, obviously on edge around these vampires. "Don't worry, Hugo," I murmured, silently telling myself the same thing.

"Welcome back, newbie," Doyle said, smirking as he ambled up to me. I bit back a growl. "Seems we have the same training period. I look forward to ripping you a new one. Who knows, maybe I'll take your head this time."

Hugo grabbed my wrist when I stepped forward, almost eye to eye with Doyle, who was barely taller than I but built like a tank. Doyle's gaze fell on Hugo, and he smirked. "Hey, fireworks. Don't worry, once I'm finished with newbie here, I'll gladly move on to you."

"Back off, Doyle," I snarled. He had gone too far by threatening Hugo, whose grip was tight around my wrist.

"And if I don't?" He sneered. "I remember removing your arms once today already. I'd be happy to do it again."

"I'd appreciate if you didn't pick fights, Doyle. You'll have plenty of time to do that during sparring," Caesar said, striding on to the field.

"Course, C. Didn't mean to offend. Got to scare the newbies into shape somehow, right?" Doyle asked.

Caesar remained impassive. "True leaders operate based off respect, not fear."

Doyle's smirk faded. "Fear works just as well, I've found."

"Perhaps," Caesar said, walking off.

"You got lucky," Doyle hissed at me before stalking away.

"Hugo, you're crushing my wrist a little bit, bud," I said.

Hugo released my wrist, looking a little embarrassed. "Sorry."

"It's okay," I assured him.

"Fall in!" Caesar bellowed, his deep voice travelling easily over everyone else's.

"Over here," Hugo whispered, grabbing my wrist once more and tugging me into line with everyone else. Silence had swept over the field.

"Welcome to combat training," Caesar said, back at normal volume. "For some, this is nothing more than part of the normal routine. For others, it is your first time stepping foot in the ring. And for a very small percentage of you, it is your first time swinging your fist at all."

A few vampires chuckled. Caesar waited for them to quiet before continuing. "Whether you are experienced or fresh from the change, we are all here to train towards one goal: bringing down the Volturi once and for all."

A roar of approval swept across the field. Reluctantly, I joined in. Several others, wide-eyed and appearing confused, remained silent. No doubt they were newborns like I was, just awoken from the change. Again, Caesar waited for the din fade before he spoke. "Most of you are fighting in the ring. You know who you are. The rest split off, you'll be working with Sam on the basics. Once you've mastered it, you'll join everyone else in the ring. Fall out!"

"You know who Sam is, right?" Hugo asked, nodding towards the bulky vampire who had also helped during control training earlier. "I'm in the ring. I'll meet you after." He tossed me a small smile and scampered off.

I made my way to the small group that clumped around Sam. Altogether, there were nine of us. I recognized only two from control training earlier.

"That everyone?" Sam asked, eyes flicking over the group. "Good. Follow me."

He led us to the far end of the field and ordered us to stand in a straight line. "Odd number," he mused. "Wait here. I'm pulling someone from the ring to help here."

Sam disappeared, leaving us to wait in uneasy silence, stealing glances at one another. In the time it took for Sam to return with a dark-skinned vampire I didn't recognize, two of the newborns had started to scuffle. Sam and his companion stepped into the scuffle, throwing the two apart.

"Enough!" Sam snarled, glaring dangerously at both of them. "There will be plenty of time for that later. For now, line up." The two newborns bared their teeth at one another but obediently shuffled back in line. "We'll start by practicing the moves I show you. Then, I'll pair you off to see how well you do at applying what you've learned. Understood?"

"Yes sir," about half of us chorused.

Sam narrowed his eyes. "I said, _understood?_"

"Yes, sir!" This time, everyone spoke in unison.

"Good. Andre will demonstrate the moves. I will watch your forms and critique. If you wish to keep your limbs come sparring, I suggest you take what I have to say and apply it," Sam said, clasping his hands behind his back. "Andre, begin showing them beginner moves."

Everything Andre demonstrated was surprisingly easy. Punches, kicks, dodges, headlocks. Nothing I hadn't either done myself or witnessed. Sam circled me as I practiced a kick, sharp eyes searching for error. He found none, nodded in approval, and moved on, berating my neighbor for his clumsy landing.

"Enough," Sam said after some time. Across the field, there was shouting and angry snarls. I couldn't see what was happening within the ring of vampires. "Now that you seem to have grasped the basics - some more firmly than others - you will practice. I will pair you off based on skill. While I do so, Andre, go and get Caesar so he can have a look at this lot for himself."

Andre merely nodded and ran off towards the ring. Sam paced around us, assessing the group. "You two," he said, and the two vampires indicated stepped aside. He did the same for two more pairs. There were three left: me, a man with red hair of moderate build, and another man who looked like he could squash me with his pinky.

Andre returned with Caesar, who was surveying us with his arms crossed. Sam pursed his lips. "You two. Cullen… you go with Andre." I didn't like the smirk on Andre's face.

"First two," Caesar ordered. "Face one another. Everyone else back away. Win by headlock, neck grab, or forfeit."

The rest of us edged backwards, allowing the first two to face off against one another. "Begin!" Sam barked.

The fight didn't last long and the next pair was called. This fight lasted longer, until Caesar had to step in before the winner removed the loser's head completely. The third pair marked the first win by forfeit. Sam looked disgusted, and I knew that, when my fight came, I couldn't forfeit.

Fourth pair. This fight seemed to last the shortest of them all. With my fight looming, I felt myself running over everything I had ever learned from Jasper.

"Fifth pair," Sam said.

Andre stalked forward, looking utterly at ease. I took my place in front of him, standing lightly on the balls of my feet, and let out a breath.

"Begin."

I rolled out of the way as Andre lunged forward immediately, a snarl twisting his face. I snarled back. Andre swiped for me and I ducked under his arm, slamming into his torso and tossing him away. Within me, something clicked. My vision seemed to sharpen. Jasper's voice echoed in my head.

_"Never turn your back on your enemy."_

Andre landed a punch, sending me flying backwards. I rolled back to my feet, hissing. Andre feinted to my left and I only just managed to dodge his blow.

_"Try to anticipate where Afton is going to go and adjust accordingly," Demetri said._

_"That feels difficult," I said._

_"It is. Good luck."_

I smirked. Andre was in a crouch, growling at me. He darted forward again. This time, I knew where he was going. I slid under his kick, grabbing his leg and pulling him down.

_"Never go for the obvious kill. They'll be expecting that. And you will lose."_

I was on my feet in a second, not waiting for him to recover. My fist collided with his jaw in a thunderous uppercut. I sprung after him, grabbing him around the throat and slamming him to the ground.

"Win!" Caesar said sharply.

I released him and stepped back. Andre shot to his feet, cursed, and snarled at me.

"Impressive," Sam drawled. "It's not often we encounter natural fighters. I think you're ready for the ring. What say you, Caesar?"

Caesar inclined his head. "Keep working with this group, Sam. The rest have a lot to learn. Cullen, come with me. Time to find you a place in the ring."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Hello, all! Hope you're doing well and enjoyed this chapter of Penance. I know I'm having a blast writing it for sure, and it seems from the comments that you all are enjoying it just as much. Thanks a bunch for your reviews and I hope you keep them coming, because I love hearing what you have to say and always feel encouraged after reading them! What do you think will happen when Rowan joins the ring? Let me know in the reviews your theories about the coming chapter.**

**I got a lot of reviews this past chapter, so huge thanks to all of you! Unfortunately I can't reply to every single one due to my own time constraints but know that I appreciate you all! That said, here are a few responses to what you had to say about last chapter:**

**Lady-Queen99: Thank you! I like Hugo too, he's a ton of fun to write. Hopefully Rowan will be able to convince him to stay out of it or defect. I'm glad you like the idea of Caesar being one of the oldest vampires. He is not _the _Caesar. That's just his name. Thank you for reviewing!**

**HannahStewart-chan: Thank you! I'm doing my best to update frequently, I hate keeping you guys waiting. I'm glad you're enjoying Hugo! I love him. As for whether or not Rowan will have motherly feelings towards him... that's still to be seen. It's still rather early in their relationship, after all. I'm so glad you like Rowan as she is! As most people, she's better at some things and worse at others. For example, she's more of a natural fighter because of her time with the Cullens and the Volturi but her control leaves something to be desired. Thank you for reviewing and you stay safe as well!**

**MsMarvelPrincessa: I mean, I guess that's one way to start reading a story! I'm glad you're enjoying it, regardless, though I hope you've gone back to read all of Tenebrous in order to get the full picture! Rowan being with the Romanians seems to be making everyone anxious for some reason... I guess no one will chill until she's safe. In the meantime, enjoy the action and drama, I guess? XD**

**Luceoscura: Aw, thank you! I'm doing well! I hope you are safe and healthy also. Glad to hear you have internet again. Lots of people seem to really like Caesar, so I'm glad he's a hit. Will he continue to be trustworthy? That's something that remains to be seen. And what, are you saying Rowan isn't already strong and awesome? Kidding. I'm glad you hate Vladimir, Stefan, and the former queens (and even Doyle) so much. Means I'm doing a good job at writing villains. As for Hugo, he's precious. But no, I have no plans of him being with Jane. As for his fate, that I can't say. You'll just have to wait and see. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Anyway, that's about all I have to say about this chapter. I hope you all are looking forward to what's to come, I know I have some shocking twists that none of you will see coming which I'm quite excited about. So stay safe and healthy and I will speak to you in the next update!**

**Translations:  
**_Lo sé_ \- I know  
_Recuerda_ \- remember  
_Mamá me mataría por esto_ \- Mama would kill me for this


	12. 011

"Win!" Caesar bellowed over the roar of the ring, he and one other stepping in to separate the fighting pair. The ring was like nothing I had ever seen or experienced. I remember what Afton had said, that they were absolutely savage. In the ring, brute force was what usually won the battle. My eyes widened.

With no defensive knowledge, they would have no way to escape once pinned. Caesar was teaching them how to fight, but not how to defend themselves.

That clever bastard.

"Xander! Graham!" Caesar yelled. The two men in question stepped forward. "You know the rules. Set! Begin!"

Xander smirked and darted forward. Graham swung wildly, his fist glancing off Xander's arm. Something was odd about the action, and the ring roared with laughter. Graham stood still, looking wildly in every direction.

"Sight deprivation," said my neighbor, noticing my confusion. "Don't want to get caught in the ring with him, that's for sure. He's never lost."

Xander sprang forward, trapping Graham in a headlock. "Win!" Caesar said. Xander released Graham, who was blinking hard. They both returned to their places.

"Hugo!" A vampire in the ring shouted as Caesar scanned the crowd, looking for the next pair.

"Alright, Ryan," Caesar said. "You. And Hugo."

The ring shouted its approval as the vampire who spoke swaggered forward, eyes pinned dangerously on Hugo, who was shoved out of his place in the ring to tumble into the middle. "No gifts, Caesar, right?" The nameless vampire said when he saw the look of drawn concentration on Hugo's face.

"Very well," Caesar said. "No gifts this round. Set. Begin!"

Hugo tensed, propelling himself out of the way of Ryan's first attack, scrambling back to his feet. He dodged the next two as well, never trying to launch his own attack.

"Enough messing around," Ryan snarled, grabbing Hugo around the leg and flinging him away. Ryan was on him before Hugo even had a chance to stand, twisting Hugo's arm off with savage enjoyment.

I realized suddenly what Ryan was doing. As long as Hugo wasn't taken by the neck, Caesar couldn't call a win. My lip curled and anger simmered in my veins.

"At least try to fight!" Ryan shouted, throwing Hugo to the other end of the ring. Hugo looked close to tears, ducking under a punch and darting away. "Not so fast," Ryan snarled, grabbing him by the other arm.

My fists clenched, and my eyes flicked to Caesar. To my surprise, he was looking straight at me. I raised my eyebrows in question. He gave me a tiny nod in response.

"Fight back!" Ryan roared, lunging towards Hugo, who cowered away.

I snarled and darted forward, grabbing his fist before he could land the hit. I twisted it in my grip. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

Ryan's eyes flickered to Caesar, who folded his arms. "Did I call the fight? You fight until I declare a win. You must be prepared for the unexpected in battle."

I acted even as Caesar was still speaking, kicking Ryan in the chest and sending him flying backwards. I rolled my shoulders and started forward as he regained his footing, ducking under the first punch and grabbing his arm when he struck again, chopping down on the crease of his elbow so hard that his forearm detached. I flung it away.

"You bitch," Ryan snarled.

"Wrong thing to say," I snarled back, gaining the upper hand now that he was down an appendage. I didn't wait for him to attack, instead slamming so hard into him that he stumbled backwards. I used his loss of balance to my advantage, knocking him down to his knees and grabbing his scalp and chin, forcing his head upwards.

"Win!" Caesar bellowed over the wild roars of the ring. "Someone get him his arm!"

I released him, stepping back and watching him warily. Ryan glared at me, eyes aflame with fury, but he turned away when his arm hit him in the back of the head.

I made my way to Hugo, grabbing his lost arms from where they were discarded in the middle of the field. A few parted so we would have room around the perimeter of the ring, and I helped Hugo reattach his arms as Caesar yelled out the names of the next fight.

"Thanks," Hugo whispered, flexing the fingers of his right hand as I carefully reattached his left arm.

"Of course, kiddo. It's my job, isn't it?" I asked him. "It's about time someone stood up for you, anyway."

He smiled at me as I stood and ruffled his hair. "No one's ever stood up for me before."

"You better get used to it then, punk," I said. Neither Hugo or myself were called into the ring again. It was well past nightfall, likely close to ten, when Caesar dismissed us.

"Don't forget your free hour at 2200," Caesar told me when Hugo tugged me over to talk to him.

I checked my watch. "Half an hour until then, still. Thanks for the reminder."

"Certainly. I suggest you watch your back for the next few hours. Ryan is none to happy about his defeat," Caesar advised.

"I will," I said with a nod.

"Good. Well fought," Caesar said. "But don't get arrogant. You will not win every fight. What I saw was not beginner's luck, but you are still an easy opponent to the likes of Doyle."

"My brother Jasper taught me a few things when I was still human. Along with a few other… friends," I said.

"I see," Caesar said, catching my meaning. "I expect you to meet me in my quarters at five tomorrow morning for our first, shall I say, meeting."

"I'll be there," I said.

Hugo bounced on his toes, looking impatient. "Caesar, will you have any time to help me practice my gift tomorrow?"

"We'll see," Caesar said good-humoredly. "However, I believe you need more practice with fighting than your gift."

"I don't like fighting," Hugo said, frowning up at him.

"Even so, it benefits you to know how to protect yourself. Unfortunately, the ring does well at demonstrating the brutality of war."

"I'll think about it," Hugo said finally.

"Good boy," Caesar approved. He glanced back at me. "I have duties to attend to. Until tomorrow, Cullen. Hugo."

"_Adios_, Caesar!" Hugo said. "C'mon, we can go to my room until your free hour."

"When is your free hour?" I asked curiously as we ran back to his room. "Do you actually have an assignment?"

"Nope! The masters said that my only assignment is to come when they summon me. They haven't yet," Hugo said. "So I practice with my gift and read comic books and watch TV most of the time."

"I see. Were you always alone before I was assigned to watch over you?"

His head bobbed up and down in a nod. "_Si_, but I didn't mind too much. I am glad you're here, though. It's nice to have a friend."

"It is, isn't it?" I said, a faint smile on my face when I thought about the guard back at Volturi. A familiar ache spread through my chest when I thought of the kings, but it wasn't as devastating as before; I knew to expect the pain now. Fortunately, I could function through pain.

My father had made sure of that.

"Do you want to read one of my comic books?" Hugo asked me. "They're all in English. I even have one in Spanish! Caesar got it for me when he had a mission outside the castle."

"Maybe soon," I agreed, checking my watch. "I'll be back once my free hour ends. In the meantime, pick out your favorite and I'll read that one first."

"Okay!" Hugo said brightly, darting over to his small bookshelf. "See you soon!"

I left Hugo's room, checking to ensure the hall was clear before allowing the shadows to engulf me. Leaving the castle after this was an easy task, as it was abounding in dark crevices and dim corridors even when the sun was high in the sky.

The forest was peaceful and abuzz with insects, the shadows ensuring I wouldn't be seen by any other vampires that may currently be lurking within the wood. It took me less than a minute to arrive at the location where I had hidden my crest and the burner. The shadows that cloaked me promised I was alone and unseen.

I pulled out the burner, seating myself on the forest floor as the shadows pooled around me. As long as they were wrapped around me, I could scream and no one would hear me.

I powered on the burner, scrolling through the few contacts I had. No matter which of the guard I called, I would end up on the line with the kings, so I cut out the middle man and called Caius' phone.

It rang so long I thought that he was simply allowing it to go to voicemail; it wasn't as if he had the phone number of this burner in his contacts. Then the line clicked. "Hello?"

For several seconds I was speechless - had his voice always been so rich? Perhaps, as a human, I had simply been unable to hear it. "Caius? It's me."

"Rowan," he breathed. "Jane, send for Aro and Marcus at once!"

"Marcus is back?" I asked.

"Yes. Your leaving snapped him out of it," he said. "Once he found out what happened."

"Are Aro and Marcus getting along?" I asked.

"They seem to have come to an understanding, given the circumstances. With war preparations and your leaving, they know it's best to put their squabble aside for now."

"How long-"

"Did it take for us to realize you had gone?" Caius finished, sounding far from pleased. "Afton barged into my study at nine that morning to tell me you were gone without a trace, and that when he checked your quarters he found the letters you left for us."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "We're backed into a corner. I had no other choice."

"There's always a choice," Caius snapped.

"Yes, and what great choices I had! I could stay in Volterra and die or come here and give us a chance at winning this war!" I snapped back.

"Brother, is she still-" I picked up Aro's voice, with Marcus' overlapping.

"Jane informed us that-"

"Yes, she's right here," Caius said, cutting them both off.

"_Mia cara_, what were you thinking? If they discover who you are, they'll kill you without question!" Aro fretted.

I bared my teeth. "I'd like to see them try."

"Who's your ally?" Marcus asked. I hadn't realized his gift was ranged enough for him to still see my ties to others, but I appreciated him cutting to the chase.

"His name is Caesar. He's an ancient, older than you. His older brother was the first vampire," I said.

"The very first?" Aro echoed.

"Was?" Caius asked.

"The Romanians killed him when he stood against them, shortly before you challenged them and took power," I said.

"I do remember a vampire standing against them. He refused to join us. Evander, I believe his name was," Aro mused.

"You are certain you can trust him?" Caius asked sharply.

"Yes. He sired me," I said.

"Then his venom blinds you," Caius spit. "I should have changed you when you asked."

"His venom doesn't blind me. He changed me to prevent my being tied to Vladimir or Stefan," I said, calmer than I felt. I checked my watch. "I have a lot to tell you and not a lot of time to do it."

"One more question before you begin your tale," Aro said.

"Go ahead," I said.

"Do they know of your gift?"

"No. Caesar does. No one else. They have a sensor named Hiram, he's the only one who would be able to tell, but he'll likely be gone for several more weeks. According to Hugo, is gift is far less refined than Uncle Eleazar's. He can only sense that someone has a gift, though isn't able to determine what gift they possess."

"Who's Hugo?"

"He's the Romanian's secret weapon. Hiram discovered him, calls him his greatest accomplishment. Hugo has the gift of fire," I said.

"Shit," Caius cursed.

"I don't think he'll be a threat," I said.

"Why?" Marcus asked.

"He's only a boy. Not quite an immortal child, but still young. The rest here pick on him, take advantage of him. He has a good heart. Caesar had been working on getting Hugo to defect. Now that I'm in charge of looking after him, that task has passed to me," I said.

"How old is he?" Marcus asked.

"Eleven," I said. "I think I'll be able to convince him. He's not a fighter. He's not built for this life."

"What else have you learned?" Aro asked.

"There are two types of training here. Control training and combat training. Control training is lead by a man named Doyle, he's in charge of teaching all newborns to control their thirst. The methods they use are violent, but effective," I said, grimacing as I remembered my time from this morning. "Combat training is lead by Caesar, he's likely the overseer that Afton and Vincent saw on their intel mission. He's teaching them to be purely offensive fighters. They have no defensive skills."

"None?" Caius asked.

"None that I can see. Caesar always calls the winner of the fights as soon as one is in a headlock or restrained by the neck. Doesn't teach them how to escape it," I said.

"Brilliant," Aro murmured. "What can you tell us about other gifts?"

"There's Hugo I told you about, and Hiram. There's another named Xander who has the gift of sight deprivation, a more limited version of Alec's gift. I've only witnessed him use it once, so I have no idea what his limitations may be. Caesar is gifted, too; he can read intentions. That's how he knew I was here on your behalf."

"How does Caesar's gift work?" Aro asked.

"I'm not sure, not entirely. I believe he needs eye contact, or at least be able to see someone's face. He knows what someone is going to do but not _why _they've resolved on doing it. But he's an ally; it's the enemy I need to learn more about," I said.

"So they don't have many gifted members?" Marcus asked.

"I'm not sure. I only woke from the change this morning. I'll know more as time passes. But I do know their force is composed of almost exclusively men. Stefan was going on about women being the weaker sex. It took all my willpower not to rip his tongue from his throat," I snarled.

I could hear the smirk in Caius' voice. "I'm sure your chance will come soon enough."

"Also, I saw the former queens," I said. There was an uneasy silence on the other end of the phone. "They're the biggest bitches I've ever met, I don't know how you were ever married to them. They seem to hope that my tie to the Cullens will be enough to convince my family to join their side of the fight. I can't wait to rip their damn heads off."

"I believe you speak for us all on that count, _mia cara_," Aro said.

"A few more things. Everyone here has an assignment, a job to do. Mine is looking after Hugo. A job fit only for a woman, I assume," I said drily. "There are a lot of vampires here, mostly newborns. I'd say close to a hundred-fifty overall. But most everyone is at each other's throats. It doesn't take much for them to turn on each other."

"Common for newborns," Marcus remarked.

"Yes," I agreed. "I suggest you talk to Jasper, see if he'd be willing to come to Volterra with Alice to help you prepare. I know you've fought armies like this before. But he's trained one and thus brings a unique perspective."

"Jasper and Alice are here already," Aro said. "Your parents, too, and the Denalis. Edward and Bella are planning on coming once the battle draws closer. This is just as much their fight as it is ours, and they make powerful allies."

"Oh," I said, pleasantly surprised. "Good. I don't have much else to add at present. I have a free hour daily at this time, so that's when you should expect my calls."

"How are you certain you won't be overheard?" Caius asked. "I don't want you to put yourself in further danger by calling."

I smirked. "Oh, my gift is making sure I stay hidden."

"How has it developed, _mia cara_?" Aro inquired.

"Impressively. Caesar will no doubt be working to help me hone it tomorrow. But I can hide more than just myself now. Make the shadows solid. No doubt more," I said.

"_Magnifica_," Aro murmured. Would he think it was so if he saw the darkness the shadows awoke in my soul?

Would he think it so if he knew that my gift was corrupting me? Even now I could feel the pull, the whispers of the shadows to do unspeakable things to those that resided in the Romanian castle.

"He should be teaching me to better fight as well," I added.

"Good," Caius said.

I checked my watch. It was a quarter 'til eleven. "I don't have much time left. Do you have any other questions?"

"No. What you've told us so far will help us greatly. As much as we hate that you're there, in constant danger…" Caius hesitated. "You were right in that there was little other choice. No mission like Afton and Vincent's could have given us something even close to the information you have managed to provide us after a mere day."

"I just wish it hadn't come to this," I said, staring off into the trees.

"Us as well," Aro said softly. "But this is war. We do what we must to survive."

"Promise us that you will return if this mission of yours becomes too dangerous," Marcus pleaded. "We cannot lose you."

"I will return only if my position is found out. Otherwise I will forge onwards. We all have a part to play in this. Focus on working to win this war, so that what I experience here is not in vain," I said.

"We will win," Caius said. "Once and for all."

"I should go. I still need to sneak back into the castle," I said. "Be careful."

"We are, as of yet, in no danger here. It is you who needs to be careful," Marcus said. "I love you, _tesoro_. Very much. Return to us safe."

"I will do my best," I said. "I love you all."

"I love you. Please be cautious. Don't draw too much attention to yourself," Aro said.

"May be a little late for that," I said, recalling the eventful combat training session.

Aro sounded vaguely panicked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means someone was using combat training as an excuse to bully Hugo, so I stepped in, knocked him on his ass, took off his arm, and won the fight."

There was a brief second of silence. Then Caius laughed. "_Amore, _you are truly incredible. But don't make it a regular occurrence. To win this war, you may need to lose some training fights. Ensure they underestimate you, so that when the final battle comes, you can tear them apart."

"Noted," I said. I checked my watch again. "I really do have to go."

"We'll await your call tomorrow, then. Be careful, be safe, and don't take any unnecessary risks," Marcus said.

"I'll do my best. Love you all," I said.

"Love you," they chorused. I hung up before I stayed to listen to their voices all night. I ached all over, the phone call making the mate bond worse instead of better. I grit my teeth, ignoring the pain, and shut off the burner before hiding it and the crest once more.

_I'm doing this for them_, I told myself. It was the only thing that kept me going. The only thing that brought me back. Back to the castle, back through unlit halls, back to Hugo's room, where the boy greeted me with a cheerful grin.

_I'm doing this for them._

Then why was it so difficult to stay?

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**I'm basically braindead right now (thanks, college project deadlines!) but I've got this chapter of Penance here for you. It's been finished a few days but I haven't had the chance to post. I hope you enjoyed this chapter - seeing Rowan kick some butt and talk with the kings. Don't worry, Rowan definitely won't be winning every fight she has in the ring. She just has a bit of an upper hand against some thanks to Jasper, Demetri, and Afton. What do you think Caesar has in store for Rowan during their coming meeting? Let me know your thoughts, I love to hear them!**

**Big thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter, you all are amazing and I appreciate you so much. Here are some replies to those reviews:**

**seventhhaven: Doyle the Dick is SUCH a great name for him. Probably won't hear it used in-story, but it's fitting nonetheless. I'm really glad you enjoyed how I incorporated small flashbacks to her learning how to fight, it was probably one of my favorite parts of last chapter. I definitely don't blame you for being on-edge until she returns to Volterra. I'm on-edge and I know what happens! Hugo is definitely a precious bean and he's been such a joy to write. I'm glad everyone is loving him as much as I do. Thank you for reviewing!**

**beethovenzeal: I'm glad you enjoyed! I hope you liked reading her check in with the kings this chapter! You'll be able to read their actual, initial reaction in a bonus chapter once Penance is over. But don't worry, there's plenty of plot and action happening to keep you occupied until then! Thank you for reviewing!**

**windmila: Aw, thank you! You're the best. You're the real MVP here, having to listen to my ramblings about Rowan via PM. Thanks for your continued support :D**

**I don't have much else to say this chapter, probably because my brain is running at about -2 miles per hour, so I'll just say that I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading, and I hope to see what you think in the comments! Stay safe and healthy, everyone!**


	13. 012

"Hugo," I said, after the two of us had spent most of the night in relative silence. I had been reading his comic books at a human pace, enjoying the only form of entertainment the castle seemed to hold.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking up from the Iron Man comic he was reading.

"How often do we get to feed around here?" I asked. A portion of my brain was always acutely aware of the thirst burning in my throat. It had only gotten worse as the night progressed.

Hugo tapped his chin. "Depends. Brand new vampires like you they feed about once every two weeks. They say it allows you to learn better control. If you can control yourself when your eyes are black then you can control yourself any time. It's awful, though. I'm nearly out of the newborn phase, though, so they let me feed about once a week. Still only one human, though. Never more. Not enough to make the thirst go away."

"Two weeks," I muttered. The human Caesar had tossed me when I finished the change was the only blood I would get for two weeks. No wonder those in my control training had been willing to fight tooth and nail for even a drop of blood from the two humans used there.

"You'll get through it," he said confidently. "The first two weeks are the worst. After that it gets better."

"Because you don't need to feed as much, or because you get used to it?" I asked.

Hugo frowned. "I guess because you get used to it."

"Great," I said, staring blankly at the Batman comic in my hands. So not only would I have to deal with the painful effects of the mate bond, but constant thirst as well.

Super.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," Hugo said, laying flat on the floor with his legs on his couch. "My control training is at five, so you'll have a bit of free time until seven. Yours isn't until nine, right?"

"I think so," I said, slightly uncertain.

"It's at nine," Hugo said confidently. "The beginner's control training is always at nine."

I recalled my first session of control training with a grimace. "They call that beginner's?"

"_Si_, there's usually no blood in the open air. But sometimes someone will slip," Hugo said. "Is that what happened your first session?"

"Yes. One of the others started drinking while they were, erm, restraining me. He lost his head for it," I said.

Hugo grinned. "You lost some limbs then, _si_? Don't worry, it happens to all of us. It's no fun, though."

"So I've learned," I deadpanned. Hugo giggled, and I smiled at him. "What is your control training like?"

"I'm in the advanced group, since I've been a vampire for longer now. Eight months, I think? Maybe a little longer," Hugo said thoughtfully, furrowing his brow in thought.

"But the advanced training?" I prompted.

"Ah, right. It's gruesome. They want blood in open air, lots, but need the humans alive. Stale blood isn't as appealing. So Doyle's figured out how to gut them in just the right way so they stay living a while. It's lucky they're unconscious for it," Hugo said, wincing. Disgust churned in my stomach.

"How do they keep them unconscious? Do they drug them?" I asked. I wasn't yet familiar enough with the scent of blood to detect anything unnatural that may be within it.

Hugo shrugged. "_No lo sé_. Caesar said that I could smell it in their blood if I tried, so I guess so. But I've never been able to. Maybe it's because I've never smelled any other blood than what they bring us."

"Probably," I agreed.

I had assumed at first that my time spent between training would be tedious and long, but Hugo proved to be rather good company and a good source of information for someone who rarely left his room.

"Have you met Ana yet?" Hugo asked me after he had flicked through all of the limited channels on his television.

"Ana?"

"Her full name is Anastasia, I think. I've heard the masters call her that before. But I think everyone else calls her Ana."

"What about her?" I asked.

"She's one of the gifted ones Hiram brought. The masters were going to kill her - they want guys, but I bet you know that - but she turned out useful."

"Useful how?" I asked.

He plopped down beside me, leaning against my arm. "She's got this thing everyone calls, what is it in English- _pensamiento_, uh…"

"Thought," I said.

"Ah, _si_, that's it! Thought. She can broadcast her thoughts. She demonstrated to a group of us once. It was like… hearing someone else's voice in your head. It was weird."

"Do you know how it works?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I think she has to have met the people she sends her thoughts to. The masters treat her pretty well, even if her gift isn't as neat as mine. Apparently she even goes to the strategizing meetings that Caesar attends, so I guess she's important."

"She's a means to communicate wordlessly," I realized. "She can call attacks and unified movements without the Volturi overhearing."

Or so they think. They don't know we have Edward.

"That makes sense. They're being smart about it." Hugo's brow puckered. "Though I don't completely understand _why_ we need to fight." His eyes widened. "You can't tell anyone I said that!"

"I won't," I promised him. "I'll tell you what I learned from the Cullens about the reason why. So a couple thousand years ago, the Romanians - that is, Vladimir, Stefan, and their coven at the time - ruled over Romania and was beginning to stretch their rule over more of Europe. They didn't hide the fact that they were vampires and treated humans like vermin. As they were growing in strength, so was the Volturi, lead by three kings and three queens."

"Two of the former queens are here, right? Sulpicia and Athenodora?"

"That's right. When the three kings found their true mate, the kings sent them away. So the queens want revenge," I said.

Hugo frowned. "Why? Are the jealous?"

"I don't think so." I lowered my voice, even though we both had already been speaking rather quietly. "I don't think it's loss of love that fuels them. It's loss of power."

"The three kings, what are their names again?"

"Aro, Caius, and Marcus," I murmured, my lips curling upwards in spite of myself.

"Ah, _si_, I remember. Caesar told me a little of this. But keep going, he didn't give so much detail," Hugo said.

"Well, the Volturi disagreed with the Romanian's way of ruling, and the two covens were locked in a war that lasted around a century. In the end, the Volturi won and began ruling over vampire kind, enacting our laws. Do you remember what they are?"

"No telling humans about us and no immortal children," Hugo listed.

"Right," I said. "After the defeat of their coven, Vladimir and Stefan laid low until sometime in the 1300s, when they chose to create a newborn army to fight the Volturi. They wanted their thrones back and they wanted revenge."

"Revenge?"

"During the first battle, the Volturi killed their mates." Hugo's mouth formed a small 'o', and I continued. "Vladimir and Stefan created a force of around a hundred newborns and released them against the Volturi but were once again defeated."

"How?" Hugo asked. "Newborns are really strong and fast, not like someone who has been a vampire for a while. Caesar told me."

"True. But newborns are also crazed with bloodlust and blinded by their instincts. That, in part, helped the Volturi win the battle. But the bigger reason were two key additions to their coven: Jane and Alec," I said.

His brow furrowed. "Who?"

"Jane and Alec are twins, only a couple of years older than you. Jane can inflict pain without touching you; apparently it's absolutely debilitating. Alec is her opposite: he can steal your senses."

"All of them?" Hugo asked. "Xander can take sight."

"Yes, all of them. Xander's gift is a limited version of Alec's. Regardless, the twins played a crucial part in defeating the newborn army that Vladimir and Stefan created. They haven't tried to overthrow the Volturi again until now," I said.

"So the masters want to defeat the Volturi because the Volturi killed their mates?" Hugo asked.

"Partly. Like the former queens of the Volturi, I believe the masters want their power restored. They want to rule again, like they did before. They're tired of lurking in the shadows, forced to remain hidden from humans. They believe vampires to be the superior species and men the superior sex. They want to return things to the former order of things."

"It almost sounds like-" Hugo hesitated.

"Sounds like what?" I asked.

He shook his head hastily. "Nevermind. Let's go back to comics."

I obliged and we lapsed back into silence. I wondered what Hugo was about to say. I could only hope that seeds of doubt about the Romanians had been sown in his head. Unless he defected, no matter how fond of him I had grown, my coven would have no choice but to kill him.

My unbeating heart ached at the thought.

"Time for control training," Hugo said at 4:55, rolling off the couch and placing his open comic face-down on the small dresser. "It ends at seven, so you can come get me then. You're supposed to meet Caesar, _si_?"

"Yes," I said. "But I'll see you to training first."

Hugo grinned at me as we left his room. "_Gracias_."

We arrived outside the training room and I held my breath as the potent scent of blood hit my nose. Hugo pushed me slightly backwards. "You should go."

I nodded, not wanting to risk squeaking out as much as a goodbye before I turned and ran in the opposite direction, breathing in the castle's damp air to rid my lungs of the scent of blood. I was a little late arriving to Caesar's quarters, trying to get a grip on the haze of bloodlust that clouded my senses.

"You're late," Caesar said, stepping aside to let me in. He closed the door and locked it behind me.

"Sorry. I had to take Hugo to control training and I smelled the blood," I apologized.

"In that case, you're excused. Even I remember how difficult the newborn stage was, though it was so long ago," Caesar said.

"It sucks," I said. "Anyway. What's the plan?"

"Due to my standing with Vladimir and Stefan, I have a few extra privileges, with two free hours being one of them. I have one now and the other at 2300 hours. Seeing as Hugo has control training during this time, it is best that our training occur now."

"But not at eleven- sorry, 2300 hours?" I asked.

"Visit too often and questions will be raised. Once a day is sufficient, and this is the most logical time to do it."

"What will we be doing, exactly? Will you help me learn how to use my gift?" I asked.

"Some. But not yet. First, you must know how to defend yourself without the use of a gift. At all. Relying too much on a gift is how a vampire gets killed. So first I'll teach you how to fight properly, not the purely offensive bullshit I teach in the ring. Then, time permitting, I will work with you on your gift and how you can utilize it in combat situations. However, I would encourage you to be practicing with it on your own, as I cannot teach you how to wield it, but simply how to best use it in battle."

"That makes sense," I said. I saw his point, but I was still disappointed. I was scared of practicing my gift alone. I wasn't sure what I would do - what the shadows would _convince _me to do.

"You will master your gift," Caesar assured me, seeming to read my disappointment. "It will take time and dedication. And I can see that you fear it, even if you will not say so aloud. To truly master it, you must let go of your fear. Your gift is a part of you. To fear your gift is to fear yourself."

"I don't fear my gift," I said, but my words lacked the conviction that I expected them to hold.

Caesar quirked an eyebrow but didn't argue against me. "A gift is a personal thing, and it's not my place to refute you. So, in the interest of time, I suggest we set aside the discussion of gifts for now and instead focus on your fighting techniques, which I must admit are quite promising. You seem to have an aptitude for it, which makes my task much easier."

"Task?"

"Keeping you alive," he said. "You're the key to winning this war. So let's get started."

Any confidence I had in my fighting abilities after the ring had vanished after the first spar between Caesar and I. He had stated it was to test my skills for himself, but I was fairly certain it was just to give him an excuse to put me on my ass in about half a minute.

"You'll need to do better than that if you have any wish to defeat Vladimir and Stefan," Caesar said, circling me as I rose lithely to my feet. "As you stand now, you're an easy target to any vampire with training received outside these walls."

"That's why you're teaching me," I retorted, not particularly appreciating the continued blows to my ego.

He smirked and stopped in his predatory movements. "Quite right. We'll start with how to get out of a headlock."

"I know how to do that already," I said, recalling how Demetri and Afton had taught me that very move during our single eventful training session.

"Really? Well, I'll be the judge of that." He had me pinned in a headlock in a blink, having taken me by surprise. "Go ahead."

My human memories were slightly foggy, but I remembered enough to escape from Caesar's hold. "Told you," I said smugly.

"Yes, you did. But you need to be quicker. I'm going to reteach you the move to refresh your memory, as I doubt your human memories of it do it true justice. Then you'll try again," he said.

And so my training session with Caesar went. He was harsh, but never removed any of my limbs, and seemed relatively satisfied by my progress when we reached the end of the hour.

"Same time tomorrow?" I asked, straightening my clothes and fixing my hair.

"Yes. There may be hope for you yet, I think. A word of caution: the time will come quite soon when the training I give means you outstrip most everyone in the ring. Even if that is the case, you must lose, and must only use the techniques you've been taught during your time in combat training."

"So we don't raise suspicion," I surmised.

Caesar nodded. "Yes. Currently, Doyle and about a dozen others could still beat you in combat. But their training is rather limited and it won't be long until your skills surpass theirs. Don't think I haven't noticed your hatred of Doyle. But when the time comes and you are pitted against him, I would advice you to lose the fight. Your revenge can be taken some other day. For now, it's best that you're underestimated."

"The kings said the same," I said.

"Yes, and as much disdain as I possess for those that hold power, they are formidable both in skill and experience. There is a reason they have ruled this long. Whatever they advise you to do, I suggest you follow. You are still very young by vampire standards. It does well sometimes to heed the wisdom of others," Caesar said.

"Noted. Though I don't think any of them have been in a situation quite like this before," I said.

He smirked. "There, you have a point. I have duties to tend to now that my free hour is over, but you are free to stay here until Hugo's control training has finished."

"Thanks. I'll see you later," I said. Caesar nodded and left without another word. I mulled over our conversation from earlier.

"I'm not afraid of my gift," I said aloud. But the words didn't dispel my trepidation of using my powers and losing control. Still, Caesar had advised that I practice, and I needed to be able to control my gift if it was to be any use during the coming battle, which was feeling closer and realer by the day.

I shut my eyes and released a slow breath. I could do this. _I could do this._

Shadows furled around my fingers and up my arms, embracing me in darkness. They whispered around me like a living force. I remembered what I had done earlier, how the shadows had taken physical shape.

I held up a hand, the shadows moving with me, and I needed to barely give direction for them to respond, forming into shards that flew forward when I dropped my hand, embedding in the stone wall.

"Holy shit," I whispered, pulling one out of the wall. There was a deep, jagged hole in the stone. The solid shadows I had summoned melted away as I poked at the now-damaged stone. "Holy shit," I repeated.

I looked to where the rest of the shards had lodged themselves into the wall, but they had disappeared, leaving no trace behind. I furrowed my brow, summoning another shard and driving it into the stone. When I yanked it out, it left behind the same hole in the stone that the first shard had. I plunged it into the stone again, waving it away instead of pulling it out like before. The stone was undamaged, as if nothing had pierced it.

"Interesting," I murmured. "So what happens if…"

I formed a third shard, controlling it by force of my own will, driving it into the stone and removing it with my mind rather than my hands. It left a hole behind. It seemed, then, that unless the solid shadows I summoned were removed forcibly, they would leave no trace of damage behind.

And if the shadows could do that to stone… what would it do to a vampire's skin?

Something shifted within me at the thought. The shadows whispered atrocities in my ears. I could find Vladimir and Stefan, end them now with this newfound power-

_"To attack the castle would be folly," _Caesar said, his voice as clear as if he was beside me.

I jerked away, swinging around. There was no one else in the room.

_"But it would make a statement, would it not? To them, to the rest of the vampire world, even to the human vermin. The Volturi scum would not expect us to attack their stronghold. Even they wouldn't believe us foolish enough to attempt such a thing," _Stefan said.

What the hell was going on?

The shadows wreathed around me. Was it the shadows that were allowing me to hear this conversation as if it was taking place in this very room? It had to be; there was no other explanation.

_"Yes, but dear Caesar has a point, my love_," Sulpicia crooned. My lip curled. _"We attack the castle and we have the shock value, of course, but in the end it would be the wretched kings with the upper hand. It is their castle, and we would be fighting on their turf. We would fare far better in a battle held in the open, on even ground."_

Stefan sounded as if he was contemplating this. _"Yes, I suppose you make a sound argument. Say we settle on some other battlefield, then. Where should our stand take place?"_

_"May I suggest-" _Whatever Caesar's suggestion may have been, it was lost to me by a knock on the door. The shadows around me dispersed in a second.

"Rowan, it's me! You weren't in my room when I left control training so I wanted to check if you were here," Hugo said, his voice muffled by the door.

I opened the door. "Sorry, Hugo. I lost track of time."

"It's okay!" He chirped, seeming to be in good humor. "What were you doing, anyway? Is Caesar there?"

"No, he left a while ago. I was just thinking," I lied. However much I liked Hugo, I couldn't tell him of my gift. Not until his allegiance was with me and not the Romanians.

"I see! Caesar does the same thing. You have control training at nine, _si_? We can watch TV until then!" Hugo said as we arrived back at his room.

"Sounds good," I agreed, sitting down beside him on his couch. He turned on the television, the characters speaking a language I couldn't hope to understand, and I was left to bitterly wish I had been able to hear the rest of the Romanians' strategy meeting.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Yay, chapter 12! School had me slammed for a while, and between that and the slight block I hit on this chapter there was a bit of a delay in me getting this out to you - but here we are! What do you think about the development of Rowan's ability? What do you think it means? Drop me a comment to let me know what you think and what you theorize is coming!**

**Big thanks to all of those who commented on the last chapter, you all are awesome and I appreciate it more than you know! Here are some of my responses to your thoughts as to what's been happening in Penance.**

**Dia Pristou: You are too sweet! I'm so glad you're loving Penance! Considering Rowan is in the proverbial lions' den, you should definitely be worried, and I don't blame you. Thank you for reviewing!**

**Ambres: Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad that you've enjoyed Rowan's journey through Tenebrous and Penance, and I hope you stick around to see how everything ends up playing out. Thank you for your kind review!**

**seventhhaven: Haha, you crack me up! I loved the scene where Caesar gave her permission to step in, it came a little earlier than I initially planned but I'm happy with it. Everyone is celebrating now that Marcus is back and he and Aro seem to have come to an understanding, however uneasy it may be. I feel super sorry for Rowan and all she's forced to deal with, but it's really showing what she's made of as a character and I'm proud of her. Thank you for your faithful reviews, I appreciate your support so much!**

**Lastly, shout out to both windmila and Reveri for their support of Penance, they've been great at keeping me motivated. Both have their own stories (Garrett/OC and Kings/OC, respectively) so I would highly recommend you check out their works as well and give them a bit of love! Thank you all for reading, I hope you are staying healthy and not going TOO stir crazy with the social isolation measures that are in place. Until the next update, friends!**

**Translations:  
**_No lo sé_ \- I don't know  
_Pensamiento_ \- thought**  
**


	14. 013

If I thought that my second time in control training would be easier than the first, I was wrong.

Very, very wrong.

There were several new faces when I arrived, and I clenched my jaw to keep from snarling when Doyle barked at me to get against the wall with the others as if I hadn't just done this the day previous.

"I believe we're waiting on Caesar to bring two more down here, then we'll begin," Doyle said, his red eyes raking over all of us, ensuring we were staying put in our places against the wall. The minutes ticked by until I heard footsteps coming from down the hall.

Caesar nudged two more newcomers in the door. "Here are the last two for you, Doyle. Next batch isn't set to complete the change for three days, they were just brought in this morning. So you have a bit of time to focus solely on this group."

"Excellent," Doyle said, grinning too widely for my liking. "Thanks as always, C, don't know what I'd do without you."

Caesar merely grunted in response before turning on his heel and disappearing. Doyle fixed his eyes on the final two newborns that Caesar had brought him. "Alright, newbies, here's how this works. You get against the wall. You stay against the wall. If you move off the wall, you get punished. Ain't that right, Cullen."

"Yes, sir," I ground out, knowing that was the answer he was looking for.

Doyle shoved the newborns aside to saunter towards me. "What was that? Couldn't quite hear you."

"Yes, sir," I repeated, digging my nails into my skin.

"That's what I thought." He turned away from me and I resisted the urge to rip off his head while his back was turned. "What are you standing around for, newbies? Get against the wall!" The two newborns quickly took places against the wall, looking like they'd rather not test Doyle's patience. "Good. Sam! Holt! Bring them out!"

The scent of blood hit me like a wall as Sam and Holt dumped two humans unceremoniously in the middle of the floor. I could hear their heartbeats pounding like a siren call as I forced myself to both breathe and ignore the call of the blood. I dug my fingers into the stone wall behind me and it crumbled under my grip.

"Against the wall!" Doyle snarled at one of the new faces I didn't recognize from the day previous, shoving the newborn back. I wondered if it would be worth it to lose my arms for even a drop of blood-

"Back, Cullen!" Sam bellowed. I hadn't even realized I had _moved _off the wall, and I backed up before Doyle could come and shove me.

It took six minutes and seventeen seconds (I had taken up counting the time as an attempt to distract myself from the scent of blood, though it was hardly working) for one of the unfamiliar newborns to snap and lunge forward.

Holt, who was devastatingly fast, grabbed him around the neck and threw him back into the wall. The newborn crouched, hissing.

"Don't do it," Holt warned, leaning on the balls of his feet. "You do not want to find out what happens to those who have decided to attack."

The newborn sized him up and lunged. "He warned you!" Doyle bellowed as Holt pinned the newborn in seconds. Doyle grabbed one arm and Sam grabbed the other, ripping them off in unison as the newborn screamed in pain.

"Against the wall," Holt snarled, hoisting the newborn up by the back of his shirt and tossing him into the wall. "Or it'll be your head next."

The savage display cast a sort of order over the rest of us newborns, who weren't eager to have the same happen to us. Stay against the wall, fight the bloodlust, and you don't get hurt. That was how it worked here.

My throat was on fire, as if it was being melted from the inside out with each breath, a hundred times worse than yesterday. It was easier yesterday. I had fed yesterday. But there was no blood in the air this session, and for that I was thankful. I doubted my tenuous control would stay for long if blood was exposed to the air.

"Eleven already," Doyle commented, checking his watch after two hours gone by. "Seems to pass in the blink of an eye, doesn't it?"

None of the newborns in the room looked like they agreed with him. The one who had lost his arms looked mutinous.

"Can we get this over with?" Sam asked, sounding bored.

Doyle shrugged. "Very well. Dismissed."

I, along with those who were accustomed with how these sessions worked, shot forward. I used my smaller frame to my advantage, ducking under blows and sinking my teeth into the calf of the closest human.

Blood, glorious _blood_, flowed into my mouth, a salve to the burn of my throat. I was ripped away by one of the just-turned newborns, blood still coating my lips. I let out an angry roar, but by the time I could fight my way back to the bodies, both had been drained dry.

"It's done. Out!" Doyle barked, glaring at all of us as we left the room.

I sped, infuriated and thirsty, back to Hugo's quarters. Hugo took one look at my expression and skittered to the farthest corner of his room.

I licked my lips and dropped down onto his couch. "You can come sit, Hugo. I'm not mad at you."

"Wasn't sure," he said sheepishly, and took a seat beside me. "What happened?"

"Control training. Need I say more?"

He giggled. "No. It's worse, I think, to get a little bit of blood than none at all."

"You're way smarter than any eleven-year-old has a right to be," I groused, reaching out to tousle his hair.

"Almost twelve," he corrected, laughing.

"Fine. Smarter than any _almost twelve-year-old _should be," I corrected. "When is your birthday? I don't want to forget."

"June 6th," he informed me. "I wish I could have a party. But I don't think the masters will approve. Maybe for thirteen."

_If we live that long_. I did not voice my thoughts aloud. Instead, I said, "They better. If not, I'll complain for you."

"Don't do that," Hugo says, eyes round. "They don't like it when they're questioned. Especially by girls."

"Don't worry, I wasn't really going to. I know you can't have a party, but I'll try and get you a gift, how about that?"

"Really?" A bright smile spread over his face. "That would be awesome!"

"No promises, but I'll try," I said.

"I hope you can manage it! Oh! I forgot to mention, Caesar stopped by. He reminded me we have to go to both combat trainings today. He excused us yesterday."

"There's two?" I asked.

"_Si_\- well, there's really four. But everyone goes to two. Caesar oversees all of them. We have the one at 1800 hours, like last night, and one earlier at 1400 hours."

"Two P.M.?" I asked.

"_Si_. The masters have us operating on a twenty-four hour clock, since no one sleeps. It's an easier way to tell the time," Hugo said. "Both last two hours, so we have our two sessions almost back to back."

"Why so many?"

"There's a lot of us, more than Caesar could handle in one session, and the different control training and assignment schedules mean that not everyone can do one time. So there's four," Hugo summarized.

"That makes sense," I said. The Romanians were thinking this through; the care they were taking to not only teach control but ensure their newborns were combat-ready was unsettling. Because sure, maybe they had learned from their past mistakes, but I had a hunch that this strategy wasn't entirely their own. The queens, I believed, were far more influential than any normal vampire here assumed.

All the more reason to kill them when the time is right.

Hugo and I made our way to the grassy clearing for training once two o'clock rolled around, the sun that was shining brightly overhead causing everyone's skin to reflect brilliantly in the light. It had been cloudy yesterday when we had been out for training; this was the first time I had seen myself in the sun.

"Neat, isn't it?" Hugo asked, noticing how I was examining my arm with fascination. "I didn't believe Caesar when he told me we sparkle until I saw it for myself. It isn't very scary, though."

"You're right about that," I said, smirking when I caught a glimpse of Doyle. He looked much less intimidating when he was glittering like a disco ball.

Hugo followed my gaze and giggled. "Don't let him hear you say that."

"Fall in!" Caesar bellowed, striding onto the field. He too was sparkling in the sun, but the effect somehow made him formidable instead of laughable.

Just like yesterday, silence fell over the field as everyone scrambled to find a place in the line. Caesar gave out instructions - newbies with Sam for introductory training, the rest in the ring - and I once again found myself forming the circumference of the ring. Hugo was half-hiding behind me, likely hoping to remain unnoticed.

"First fight of this session! Roman and Mack versus Byron and Gil," Caesar said, his eyes sweeping over the faces that made up the ring. I recognized two of the four from my control training.

"You know the rules," Caesar said, standing just inside the ring, acting as referee. "Set! Begin!"

This fight lasted longer than the normal one-versus-one fight, until it was two versus one and the remaining vampire was easily overpowered.

"Win to Byron and Gil!" Caesar yelled over the roars coming from the spectators of the fight. "Next pair! Doyle and Jackson!"

Doyle swaggered confidently out from his place in the ring, smirking as he faced his opponent. Jackson was taller but just as bulky as Doyle; however, if I had to bet, I'd place my money on Doyle. He was too ruthless for me to place my bet anywhere else.

"Set! Begin!" Caesar said.

If I thought Doyle was savage during control training, it was nothing_, nothing_, compared to what he was like within the ring. Jackson was down an arm in seconds, but that didn't stop him from landing a solid punch that send Doyle staggering backwards. But down an arm, it was clear who was going to win this fight.

Doyle was on Jackson again, slamming him to the ground by the neck so harshly that cracks appeared in Jackson's skin.

"Win!" Caesar shouted. "Someone get Jackson his arm! Next pair, Hank and Antonio!"

There were several more fights until Caesar finally called my name. "Let's change it up, shall we? Rowan and Ana!"

"Catfight!" One of the male vampires cheered from the crowd; he was no the only one. Most of the male vampires seemed thrilled to see two women fighting. I rolled my eyes and stepped forward to meet my opponent.

So this was Ana. She was about my height and reminded me a bit of a cat, moving in a lithe manner that was distinctly feline. We met eyes, and I got the impression that she was just as annoyed by the reaction of the male vampires as I was.

"You know the rules," Caesar said as the din faded some. "Set. Begin!"

Ana moved first. I anticipated her, dodging her blow and ducking behind her, kicking her forward. She picked herself up from the dirt, narrowing her red eyes. Her voice tickled my mind. _"Don't expect a win against me, newborn."_

"Cool parlor trick. I thought we were here to fight," I said, grinning in that infuriating way that I had seen Emmett so often do to Edward.

Her lips pursed. _"You asked for it."_

She lunged forward again. I dodged, landing a blow to her torso. We sparred, exchanging blows closer than I had experienced in the ring before. She grabbed my arm, flipping me over her and on to the ground. I rolled away as she pounced for where I was a half-second before.

I went on the attack this time, aiming for her left side as she seemed to favor fighting with her right. We were evenly matched, Ana and I, but I was slowly gaining the upper hand.

"Fun's over," she snarled, and screamed into my mind.

I dropped like a sack of potatoes, not expecting the mental onslaught. She wrapped me in a headlock. "Win!" Caesar shouted over the roars and jeering from the ring.

"Don't feel too bad," Hugo said as I returned to my place. "She's like Xander; no one ever wins against her."

I hissed. Already I wanted a rematch, to see how she'd fare against me with the shadows protecting my mind from her influence. Not so well, I'd guess. "I'll be ready next time."

"Everybody says that," Hugo said as Caesar called a win on the next fight. "They never are. But maybe you'll be different. I'd like to see you win."

I grinned at him. "Thanks, Hugo."

Ana was a dangerous opponent to those with no mental shields. On the true battlefield, she'd have to be taken care of, and quickly. Myself, Bella, and possibly Renata were the best options to do so, and I filed it away as another thing to mention to the kings on my next check-in with them.

"Hold!" Caesar shouted. Instant silence swept across the ring and the two currently fighting froze, looking at him in confusion. Clearly, it was not often that Caesar interrupted a fight.

"A message from the queens, Caesar!" Two of the ring parted to let a messenger enter.

"Let's have it, Adrian," Caesar said, motioning for the unfamiliar male to continue.

"Queen Athenodora and Queen Sulpicia request the presence of Rowan Cullen," Adrian said, chest puffed with importance.

Caesar's eyes settled on me. "Go with him. I would recommend not keeping our queens waiting. Return once they are finished with you, if possible."

I stepped forward to walk after Adrian, uneasy. The noise of the ring started up again as Caesar called for the fight to resume once we were outside the ring.

"Did they say why they're summoning me?" I asked Adrian.

"No. It is not my place to ask," Adrian said. Jane had said something similar once. "I am nothing more than their messenger. It would be impertinent for me to ask what their business is."

"Of course. My apologies," I said, mind whirling. Certainly my cover hadn't been blown? If it was, there would be more fanfare than this.

"I would not worry yourself overly. They don't seem angry with you, if it is any comfort," Adrian said after several seconds of silence had passed.

"Thank you," I said. We traveled the rest of the way in silence, running once we entered the castle. I was taken to what I assumed to be the private chambers of one of the queens, and I stored the location away in my memory. It could come in handy someday.

"I have returned with Rowan Cullen as requested, my queens," Adrian said, kneeling. Remembering how Caesar had done the same for the queens, I knelt as well.

"Thank you, Adrian. You are dismissed," Athenodora said. "You may rise, young Cullen."

I stood. "You summoned me, my queens?" The words were sour on my tongue. I was queen. Not them, not these cowards that used my mates for power and prestige and then sought to overthrow them when their power was lost. I quickly clasped my hands behind my back so they wouldn't see the way my fists clenched.

"Yes. No need to fear, child, we are not angry," Athenodora said.

"The farthest thing from it, in fact," Sulpicia said, regarding me with a calculating look. "We wish to speak with you about your previous coven- or family, should I say. The Cullens."

"Yes, of course. What about them?" I asked.

"You may prove to be a very useful ally to us, if you can manage to get your dear family to join our side. Of course, Rome was not built in a day, so we do not expect you to convince them right away; though that would be the best-case scenario," Athenodora said.

Sulpicia plucked a cell phone from a low table and offered it to me. "We would like to call your patriarch, Carlisle. He is a reasonable man, and I hope he will see the sense in coming to our side."

"Certainly," I said, taking the phone. I could only hope that Carlisle would be wise enough not to say anything about the Volturi, or the kings, the moment he answered the phone. Otherwise… well, I'd have to kill the queens earlier than I planned.

On second thought, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

I dialed Carlisle's number. It rang a few times before he answered. "Hello, Dr. Cullen speaking."

"Carlisle, it's Rowan. I know you're probably worried sick, but I've come to join the Romanian coven. They want to overthrow the Volturi, make it so that we don't have to hide the secret from the humans. I didn't want us to live in fear of the Volturi anymore, after what happened with Bella."

_Please realize I'm not alone, please realize I'm not alone._ One wrong word and he could blow my cover. "Rowan, I'm so glad you're safe," he said after a slight pause. "But you didn't have to join the Romanians for us to live without fear. I would have changed you if you asked."

Carlisle, bless the man, was remarkably quick on the uptake. "I know. But that wouldn't solve the problem. Surely Edward and Bella aren't the only vampire-human couple to fall in love. I don't want anyone else to live in fear like they did."

"I see your point," he said slowly. "Surely rationalizing your actions to me isn't the only reason you called."

"No," I said, glancing up at the Romanian queens. Athenodora gave me an encouraging nod. "I wanted to know if there was any possibility of you joining with me. To end the Volturi's reign of terror, once and for all. You know how much Aro wants Alice and Edward." Speaking ill of my mate felt like acid on my tongue. "By- by killing them, we could prevent covens from being torn apart again." Even the _thought _of killing them punched pain through me, so sharp and acute that it took everything in my power not to double over in agony.

"As much as I long to see you again, Rowan, I regret to say that I don't think this is the way to go about doing it. You must make your own path in the world, and I won't try to stop you, but I don't feel comfortable stepping in to help with this. I am sorry, and I hope you are being careful," Carlisle said.

"As careful as I can be," I said, digging my nails into my skin. The monster in me was roaring. _Kill _my mates, I had said I would _kill _my mates, I could never do that, I had to _protect _them, they were _mine_-

"That's all I can ask for, I suppose. Goodbye, Rowan," Carlisle said.

"Bye, Carlisle," I said, hanging up the phone and handing it back to Sulpicia.

My instincts, the mate bond, was _screaming_ at me, so painful that if I was human I would have blacked out.

"As I said, Rome wasn't built in a day," Athenodora said with a regretful sigh. "We will try again some other day. Perhaps a different family member. You are dismissed."

I gave them both a short bow before nearly sprinting from the room, blindly stumbling down the halls until I made it to the quarters that I shared with Caesar. I unlocked the door with fumbling fingers, pushing it shut so harshly that I was surprised it didn't crack.

I sunk to the floor, breathing rapidly. Was I having a panic attack? Could vampires _have_ panic attacks?

I felt like I was being ripped apart- no, I'd rather _be _ripped apart than whatever anguish the bond was creating for me. Killing them, _killing them_, I'd rather die than kill them-

The door creaked open, but I couldn't even muster the strength to lift my head. There was a sigh. "I should have known."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Hello again, all! Sorry for the wait. I'm trying to sort out some pacing issues with the story (as in figuring out when I need certain events to take place) which gave me a little bit of a block this chapter, but I think I'm back on track. What do you think of Ana, one of the gifted members of the Romanian army? Who do you think found Rowan during her struggle with the mate bond? Let me know what you think in the comments! As always, a huge thank you to all those who have left reviews on past chapters, you all are amazing and I really appreciate your support, it means so much to me! Here are some of my thoughts on your reviews:**

**interceptor1997: Thank you! I'm glad you're liking both how Rowan's gift is slowly developing and the plot of Penance. I really wanted to do something different and this environment gives Rowan the chance to grow as a character in the likes of which she'd never be able to do in Volterra. I've had so much fun writing Penance so far and I'm thrilled that you are enjoying it! Thank you for reviewing!**

**rafaelalana0710: Your English is totally fine! Thank you so much! I'm so flattered about how much you enjoy my work. Hugs from America!**

**seventhhaven: Yes, this development of her gift will definitely come in handy - so long as she can figure out how to do it on command. Hugo is a sweetie but being so young does make him more susceptible to being manipulated, which is a big reason why he follows Vladimir and Stefan basically without question. Rowan will die a little inside having to lose to Doyle at some point, but it's to be seen as to whether her pride will ever permit it. To be fair, Rowan is also always thinking "I should just kill them now" but she knows that if she did that, their army would probably kill _her_, which obviously she doesn't want. Thank you!**

**Bloodfreakk: Thank you so much! I work hard to make sure that characters and their interactions are authentic and do my best to give each character their own distinct personality, so I'm really glad that you loved this story enough to pull an all-nighter reading it! Thank you!**

**Thank you all for reading and supporting me, you're all awesome and I can't wait to hear what you think about this chapter. Stay safe and healthy, everyone!**


	15. 014

"On your feet, come on. None of your mates are dying today, and certainly not because of you." Caesar hooked an arm around my waist and heaved me upright. "You have to be careful. Your instincts say that your mates are in danger, and if you do something to aggravate the bond- well, I suppose I don't have to explain what happens then."

Caesar was the grounding I needed for my head to clear, the monster inside me settling. I was just protecting them. I couldn't protect them if I blew my cover. The things I said were just acting, not reality.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked as the pain of the bond lessened, slowly reverting to the constant dull ache that I had grown used to over the past couple of days.

"I knew something must have happened when you didn't come back, so I put Sam in charge of the last half hour and told him I had another duty that needed tending to. I knew the queens would set the bond off," Caesar eyed me cautiously and dropped his supporting arm.

"I'm fine," I told him, not liking how he was looking at me. Like I was fragile. "It just-"

"Everything is enhanced as a newborn," he said. "I can't imagine how difficult it must be, ignoring the bond. There are very few individuals- and no newborns- that I've ever seen resist the pull of it like you have. It takes incredible strength."

I smiled slightly at him. "Thanks."

"I still expect you at the next training session," Caesar said.

"I'll be there," I promised. "I should go find Hugo."

"Yes, you should. How are things progressing with him?"

"Surprisingly well. I had the chance to explain the history of vampires to him. He seems a little more questioning of Vladimir and Stefan's doctrine after that," I said.

"Good. I don't want him to be a casualty of this war. But even if he does join us…" Caesar trailed off, the rest of his sentence hanging in the air. _There was no guarantee he'd survive anyway._

"If he joins us, then we'll do our best to keep him safe. That's all we can do," I said. "I should go."

"Yes, go. I highly doubt Sam ignores Hugo quite as much as I do during combat training," he said.

"Thanks again, Caesar," I said, lingering by the door.

"No need to thank me. I'd like to think you'd do the same for me."

"I would," I said before turning and leaving, running through the hallways in search of Hugo. I found him alone in the grassy clearing, struggling to reattach his arms.

"Rowan!" Hugo exclaimed when he saw me, eyes shining with relief.

"Here," I said, carefully reattaching his right arm. "Who did this? I'll tear them a new one the next time I step foot in the ring."

"Antonio," Hugo said in a small voice.

My lip curled. "That weasel. I'll rip his arms off for you."

"But only in the ring, right? You'll get in trouble if you fight outside of it," Hugo said.

"Yes, only in the ring. I'll get Caesar to have us go up against each other," I assured him.

Hugo smiled slightly at me. "You don't have to. What if you lose?"

"I won't lose," I said, baring my teeth playfully. "This is Antonio we're talking about. The only reason he won is because he's bigger than you and you're not allowed to use your gift in the ring. You're a firebender, remember?"

"I'm like Zuko! I must reclaim my honor!" Hugo exclaimed dramatically, waving his fist at the sky.

"Who does that make me, then?" I asked, walking beside him as he romped through the grass.

He paused, staring at me thoughtfully. "Katara, probably. You're both caring and scary when you want to be."

"Does this make Caesar Uncle Iro?" I asked

Hugo dissolved into a fit of giggles. "Yeah. And Doyle is Azula."

I grinned. "Who's Firelord Ozai, then?"

He stilled, a thoughtful appearance washing over his face. "I don't know yet."

Interesting. I thought for certain he would say the Volturi kings. But to say he was uncertain… perhaps there was hope for Hugo yet.

I didn't get to speak to Caesar before the next round of combat training, so Antonio's beatdown would have to wait another day. This session marked the first silver, crescent-shaped bite mark on my arm, where one of my fellow newborns managed to sink his teeth as I attempted to get him into a headlock.

Naturally, I bit him in response before grabbing his hair and chin and pulling his head back so far I nearly tore it off.

I contemplated the bite later that evening, as I waited for ten to roll around, and came to the conclusion that while it was my first it undoubtedly would not be my last. Jasper had been part of a newborn army, too, and his skin was littered with them. I touched the Romanian brand on my skin. At least he had not been so barbarically marked, like cattle.

"Your free hour started ten minutes ago," Hugo said, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Wha- shit. Wait, don't say that." I eyed him sternly.

"I won't, _establecerse_," Hugo said, turning back to his comic.

"See you later, Hugo," I said.

"_Adiós_!" His voice filtered down the hall. I left the castle in stealth just as I had the day previous, cloaking myself in shadows as soon as I reached an empty hall and slipping undetected into the forest.

When I called Caius this time, the line only rang once before he picked up. "You're a little late," he said, not even bothering with a greeting. "We were growing worried."

"I'm sorry," I said, the shadows still around me as I sat on the forest floor. "I got a bit caught up in my thoughts. Didn't realize until Hugo said something."

"And how is your young protégé?" Aro asked.

"Doing well. I'm making progress, I think. I told him vampire history, something other than whatever it was Vladimir and Stefan fed him. It's made him question things. He's only a kid, but he's smart. I only hope he's smart enough to realize that Vladimir and Stefan don't care about him and that they'll kill anyone who gets in their way."

"We are rooting for you. Having an ally with such a gift would be a great advantage," Aro said.

"Hugo is no warrior, Aro. He refuses to fight back in combat training. But I've seen his gift, and it is formidable. We are fortunate that he is so nonviolent," I said.

"You are right about that, I believe, _tesoro_," Marcus mused. "Fire is unpredictable, and it could do just as much harm as it could good on the battlefield. I would advise you convince him to stay out of the fight if at all possible."

"I'm doing my best," I said. "I have some more information. Did Carlisle tell you about the phone call from earlier?"

"Yes, he showed Aro and explained to Marcus and I," Caius said. "Who was with you? It's fortunate he has sense, otherwise you could have been exposed."

"Very fortunate. And I was with the queens, who I wish to kill more and more by the day," I said, snarling slightly under my breath as my anger was roused. "I'm not sure if it's them I hate more or Vladimir and Stefan at this point."

"I doubt they'll stop trying to recruit your family," Aro said, gently redirecting the conversation as he recognized that my anger was distracting me.

"No. They made it clear that this was only the first meeting of many - I'm assuming however many it takes to convince my family to join them. So ensure my family knows that they could get a phone call at an odd time and to not give anything away."

"One step ahead of you there, _amore_," Caius said. "We called them all for a meeting as soon as Carlisle finished telling us of his experience."

"I met another one of their gifted vampires," I said, checking the time. "A girl probably a few years older than I am, named Ana. Hugo told me about her after our first call, actually, but I got the lovely opportunity to experience her gift within the ring this afternoon."

"What can she do?" Aro asked.

"She can project thoughts into another's head. Similar to Ness, actually, but she doesn't require physical contact to be able to do it, and I don't think she can project memories. She just has to encounter someone to be able to project to them. Vladimir and Stefan have kept her because she can convey instructions and information to the entire force without having to speak; according to Hugo, she even attends the strategy meetings," I said. "Of course, with Edward on our side, she's rendered effectively useless, but the Romanians don't need to know that."

"What is her gift like? You said you experienced it during the ring?" Marcus asked.

"Yes. First she just spoke in my mind. It was a little unsettling but no real bother," I said. "But she was also able to do this- I don't even know how to describe it. It was like she screamed in my mind and it was painful enough to drop me. Granted, I wasn't shielding my mind when this occurred. Her gift may not be quite as devastating as Jane's, but she'll need to be taken out early in the fight. Probably by myself, Bella, or someone else with a mental shield."

"We'll make sure to pass the message along. Renata could likely deal with her as well, as she can deflect Jane's gift when using her own," Aro mused.

"How is control training going?" Caius asked.

I grimaced. "I'm a newborn. How well do you think?"

"A fair point. I cannot imagine how many humans they must go through with the amount of newborns they're currently housing," Marcus said.

"Not as many as you might think," I said, scowling.

I could hear the frown in Marcus' voice. "Surely you're being fed regularly? Once a day, or every two? It's easiest to keep newborns in line when they're not thirsty."

I almost told them the truth, but realized this would only cause them worry over something they couldn't control. The lie I told them was sour on my tongue. "Every three days. To keep the human body count down."

"You're newborns. That's practically starving," Caius spit, sounding furious. His reaction told me I had made the right call in not telling them the full truth.

"I'll get through it," I said.

"You are stronger than anyone knows, _mia cara_," Aro said affectionately.

I smiled. "I do try. One more thing before I have to return to Hugo. This time about my gift. There's been a development."

"What sort of development?" Aro's voice was eager.

"Don't sound so uninterested there, brother," Caius drawled sarcastically.

I laughed. "It's alright. I was, uh, practicing-" they didn't need to know about my slips into insanity "-and while I was in the shadows I was able to overhear a conversation."

"That is how your gift works, as others cannot _see _you-" Caius started.

I rolled my eyes and interrupted him. "I was practicing alone. Caesar's quarters, where I was, are practically soundproofed. I heard part of the strategizing meeting, which was taking place in a room whose location I don't even know."

"Fascinating!" Aro sounded giddy. "You continue to impress, _bellissima_!"

"I'm going to try to work with it more, see what happens. But I have no idea how I did it, so who knows how well that will go," I said, checking my watch. There were five minutes until eleven. "I have to leave, sneak back into the castle."

"You'll call again this same time tomorrow?" Caius asked.

"Yes. If I call anyone at any other time from a number other than this one, it means I'm not alone," I said.

"Until tomorrow, then, _tesoro_," Marcus said.

"I love you," I said.

"And we love you," Aro said.

"Be careful," Caius said.

"Don't put yourself in any unnecessary danger," Marcus added.

"I won't, I promise," I said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Hugo had barely moved when I returned to his room, but shot me a grin as I entered. "How was your free hour?"

"It was nice," I said honestly.

"I'm glad," he responded.

Days after this fell into a sort of mindless rhythm: training with Caesar, practicing my gift, attending control and combat training, check-ins with the kings. As Caesar had said, the training he gave me outside of the ring soon meant that I could easily best most everyone inside it; I hated losing for show, but it was a must.

Losing to Doyle was the worst, however; he showed no mercy but I did get the brutal satisfaction of ripping off his arm before allowing him to pin me.

The queens called me back once more about two and a half weeks after my first meeting with them; this time, they had me call Alice, who most fortunately saw me coming and played the role of concerned sister to perfection, not a word of our loyalty to the Volturi leaving her lips.

It took me weeks after first overhearing the strategy meeting to figure out how to do it at will. I had hoped that my gift would tame as I learned to control it, but it grew more volatile and unpredictable as my hatred for the Romanian coven grew.

If Caesar noticed my increasing hesitation towards wielding my gift, he didn't comment on it. He just said what he always did: "You are the master of your gift, not the other way around. Do not let it control you."

It approaching mid-May before the kings were able to pass me any sort of information that counted as good news.

"Demetri has finally scented out the Romanian sensor," Aro told me one day. "He and Felix are on the hunt, they believe he's alone so he'll be no trouble to dispose of between the two of them. They know, of course, to call in reinforcements if needed, but I doubt it will be necessary."

"Regardless, tell them I said to be careful next time they check in," I said. "Hiram travels alone according to what I've heard from Caesar and Hugo, but the Romanians are always known to be unpredictable."

"How is Hugo?" Marcus asked.

"He's questioning the Romanians' methods more and more by the day. He voices his thoughts sometimes, but more often I read his uncertainty through his eyes and body language. Living with Edward means I picked up a thing or two about reading people."

"Yes, I can imagine," Aro said with a chuckle.

"Also, newborn creation seems to have ceased for the time being. I don't know why, and I hardly see Caesar enough to speak with him about it. The only time I see him, he's focused on training me to stay alive in the fight to come," I said.

"Does Caesar know an exact number? If they've stopped creating newborns, then they're planning on moving soon. We'll need to speak to Alice about this," Caius said.

"No clue on an exact number. One-fifty, maybe? Couldn't be more than that. I'll ask Caesar when I next see him," I promised. "I'll let you know by tomorrow."

"Excellent, _amore_, thank you," Caius said.

Caesar confirmed my guess the following day. "Final count is 155; about three-quarters of that number are newborns. Stefan and Vladimir want Doyle and I focused on training the vampires we have, so no more will be created until the battle."

"Have they decided on when?" I asked him.

He simply shrugged. "Not yet. Stefan simply wants to move soon, but Vladimir wants the date to mean something. They're at an impasse currently. Your sister will no doubt see as soon as they come to an agreement, however."

"Time's running out," I said.

"Yes. That's why we should be sparring instead of coming up with pointless theories," Caesar said, darting forward in attack.

I was impatient to pass on this information to the kings, and the day seemed to crawl along. Even Hugo noticed my impatience, but he simply chalked it up to my needing to feed; my eyes had been black for days.

There was a knock on Hugo's door five minutes before my free hour was set to start. Catching Hugo's nervous expression, I opened the door in his stead.

"Adrian," I said, leaning against the doorframe. "What can I do for you?"

"Hugo has been summoned by the masters. He is to report to the throne room immediately," Adrian said.

I looked back at Hugo, feeling a sliver of unease. Whatever Vladimir and Stefan wanted from him, it wasn't good. "We shouldn't keep them waiting, then."

"_Si_," Hugo said, looking sick. I gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze as we followed Adrian out of the room.

The throne room was packed full of vampires, a large majority of which I had never seen. Adrian disappeared when we reached the throne room, leaving me to shove through the crowd towards where I could just see a flash of Vladimir's white hair. Hugo tailed behind me, one fist closed tightly around the tail of my shirt so we wouldn't get separated.

A furious, bellowing roar echoed through the already noisy room, followed by a string of rapid Italian curses. My stomach plummeted. I _knew _that voice.

"Where's the boy?" I heard Stefan demand as we reached the front edge of the crowd. His eyes settled on us as Hugo and I broke through. "There you are, finally. Come here, Hugo. _Come here!_ Now."

Hugo scampered over to Stefan, who was scowling down at him, but I was no longer focused on them. No longer focused on the raucous noise of the vampires behind me or the actions of Vladimir, Stefan, and the queens, who were in front of me.

Because there, struggling under the combined strength of Doyle, Sam, and Xander, knelt Felix.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Well, this isn't good. I've been kind of mean lately, haven't I, constantly leaving you on cliffhangers. Honestly, though, this is probably the worst cliffhanger I've left you on since Rowan's dad kidnapped her back in Tenebrous. How do you think Felix was captured? Do you think Demetri is with him? Will Rowan risk it all to save him? Let me know what you think in the comments!**

**Speaking of, I'm so thankful for all of you that left reviews on the previous chapter! I killed some of you with that cliffhanger, I know, and it ended up being pretty anticlimactic. Most of you guessed right when you said it was Caesar. That scene between them really ended up being a nice bonding moment that was needed but unexpected. Anyway, here are some responses to reviews from last chapter!**

**xlDarkstarlx: Aw, thank you! No it's not weird at all, I don't think! Caesar is honestly one of my favorites to write and I wish I could like,,, write a fanfic about my fanfic that people would actually read. A Doyle story? What would that entail? I'm curious. Are we talking like a Doyle redemption story here, or just a backstory type thing? I'm curious about this non-existent fanfic of my fanfic. So Ana's power, she can't actually read minds or anything, just project her thoughts into another person's mind, so Rowan's secret is safe. That would be quite interesting, however. I'm also super hype about the coming battle, but we still got a bit to go through before we reach that point. I do miss writing Rowan with the kings, but her check-in conversations with them will have to do for now. They're quite busy themselves, back in Volterra with her family. Most epic team up of the century if you ask me. Anyway, thank you for reviewing! I really loved reading your thoughts on Penance!**

**seventhhaven: I am, thank you! I hope you are as well! Rowan is, for the most part, a pretty typical newborn. The control training means she's actually a bit better controlled around blood than a normal newborn would be, but only because she's physically punished by Doyle & crew if she can't restrain herself. Ana's power is definitely more dangerous than even I anticipated at first, but I was writing the chapter and it just made sense that it could also be used in an offensive capacity. As for Rowan's power, I didn't really base her power off of anything else, I kind of created it on my own with perhaps a little outside influence. But her being able to hide herself in the shadows would make her a very good assassin, you're right about that. Thanks for reviewing and take care!**

**I didn't get a huge amount of comments last chapter, which is a little disheartening, but I'm still grateful for those that did let me know what they thought! You all are awesome! I hope you all are staying safe with all that's going on in the world and I'll talk to you in the next update!**

**Translations:**  
_Establecerse_ \- settle down


	16. 015

"Listen carefully, boy," Stefan said, his dangerous tone causing me to reluctantly pull my gaze away from Felix and towards Stefan, who even though not overly tall himself still towered over Hugo. "Your role is quite simple. When we give the signal, you light this scum on fire."

"What?" Hugo stammered, eyes wide. "I won't- you said I wouldn't have to kill anyone!"

"I lied," Stefan growled, grabbing his arm. "And he is the enemy. This is your assignment. You use your gift, no questions asked. Or else you will regret it."

Hugo's voice was a little more forceful this time. "No! I won't do it. I don't want to kill anyone."

"Foolish boy!" Stefan snarled and cast him aside. "Stay where you are, we'll deal with you later."

"Where is Caesar? I want him here for this," Vladimir said, looking down at Felix in disdain.

I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't just stand here and let Felix die. Even if it meant showing my hand to the enemy. Felix was my friend. The shadows swirled at my feet in the dim room, more than willing to act against the coven I loathed.

A hand closed around my upper arm and drew me back several paces into the crowd. Caesar murmured harshly in my ear. "Don't be a fool. You reveal yourself now and we all three die. There is nothing you can do. In the grand scheme he is nothing. This is what it means to be at war."

He released me and shouldered his way through the crowd. "I'm here, masters. Apologies for the wait, my duties took me elsewhere on the grounds and it took some time for Adrian to find me."

"Not to worry. Look at what we found." I pushed my way back to the front as Stefan seized Felix's crest and snapped it off his neck. "A Volturi guard, their most revered brute. There were two, but unfortunately this one held back our forces so that his companion could escape."

"Has a party been sent out after the second vampire?" Caesar asked.

Stefan waved a hand. "There's no point in it, he's long gone. No matter, however, as this one is more than enough to send a message."

"Though perhaps, Felix," Sulpicia purred, circling around him, "we would be willing to be more… _lenient _should you give more information about your new _queen_."

Felix snarled and surged against his captors despite Xander's gift stealing his sight. Athenodora tutted. "Now that's no way to act, is it? It's quite simple, Felix, really. Give us information and we let you live."

"Never," Felix snarled. "I will never betray my queen."

"She's just a human, Felix," Sulpicia said, scoffing. "Humans are nothing. Is she truly worth your life?"

"Yes," he replied instantly. "I would die for her. Without question. My loyalty is to the Volturi, but it is my choice to follow her, to trust her. To die for her."

"You're a fool, then. More of a fool than we thought," Vladimir spat, grabbing a torch off the wall. "Your death accomplishes nothing for your side. However, we appreciate your most _noble _sacrifice."

"It wasn't completely in vain," Felix said, eyes searching for me as if his sight hadn't been stolen. "We got your sensor."

"I hope it's worth the price you're paying for it," Stefan snarled.

Felix chuckled lowly. "Oh, it is. We will win. You will burn. Just how it was always meant to be. Everything will be okay."

"Shame you won't be around to see it," Vladimir jeered, motioning with a hand.

Somehow, Felix's eyes found mine as his head was ripped off. And then Vladimir lowered the torch and he was nothing; nothing but smoke and ash, another victim in a never-ending war.

I roared along with the other vampires who made up the audience; the sound of my fury and grief was drowned out by the rest, who stomped their feet and cheered at the death of Felix Volturi.

The smell of sickly-sweet smoke filled my nostrils and I was half-blinded by rage as I stared at Vladimir, Stefan, and the queens, who celebrated their victory. My hands shook.

They would die for this.

"Back to your posts!" Caesar bellowed.

"Doyle, Sam, take our little fire starter and teach him a lesson in obedience," Stefan ordered. "And you, Cullen," he said, his eyes settling on me, "the boy's disobedience reflects poorly on you. As such… clean this mess up. Caesar will provide you a box. Put the ashes in there, and his crest." Stefan flung Felix's crest at me. "We'll send it with our regards to the Volturi."

"Yes, master," I said, feeling hollowed out by pain and guilt. I had stood by and watched Felix die. Stood by and watched my _friend _die.

_Felix was dead._

I knelt by his still-smoldering ashes as Caesar set a box beside me. He didn't say anything- he _couldn't _say anything with Stefan and Vladimir so near- but his eyes conveyed his pity. The queens had disappeared and the two original Romanians had stationed themselves on their thrones, paying me the barest notice as they conversed between themselves in Romanian.

"What are you waiting for?" Stefan snapped when he noticed I was kneeling motionless by Felix's ashes.

"Just making sure the fire is out," I muttered.

I scooped Felix's ashes by hand into the box. In a way I was almost thankful for the lack of a broom; it seemed irreverent to use a broom on the ashes of the person who had sacrificed his life for me. By the time I had finished and set his crest on top, my hands were blackened by ash.

"Very good," Vladimir said, eying my work with approval. "You're dismissed. Adrian will handle it from here."

I didn't even bow to them, simply turning on my heel and leaving. I didn't care if I had offended them. Let them follow me and demand respect. Let them stop me while my hands were still stained with Felix's ashes. Let them stop me so I could rip off their heads the same way they had ripped of Felix's. _Let them stop me_.

But they didn't.

The shadows swirled around me, for once worried instead of vindictive, and I sank to my knees as soon as I crossed into the forest, wishing for tears that I knew would never come. I forced myself to stand, forced my feet to carry me to where my burner phone and crest were hidden. I stared at the burner for a long time. I wanted my parents. I wanted my mates. I just wanted to go _home_, where I was hidden from all of this; where I didn't have to see the pain and suffering that came as a result of Vladimir and Stefan's actions.

But that was why I had came here, wasn't it? To save those I loved. My mates, my family, my friends. I had came here to _save _them.

I remembered what Maxim had told me before stepping aside and allowing me to leave the castle. _"Don't thank me. When you get there, and you face them, you'll wish I'd have stopped you."_

He was right. I wish he had stopped me. But he hadn't, and I had a job to do.

I called Caius. He picked it up right away, sounding near frantic. "_Amore_, it's nearly twelve, are you-"

"Felix is dead," I said numbly.

There was a long stretch of silence. Caius' voice was soft, nearly disbelieving. "What?"

"Felix is dead. Vladimir and Stefan, they- they killed him. I had to watch, I couldn't reveal myself or we both probably would have died, but it's my fault, I should have at least _tried_-"

"No," Caius said sharply. "I mourn for Felix, truly. Despite what I may say about the guard, I do care about them. But I would choose you over him. Every time."

"They're sending you his ashes. As a message. So at least there will be something to bury," I said, staring blankly into the dark trees.

"What of Demetri? We haven't heard from him," Caius said.

"He escaped. Felix gave himself up so Demetri could escape. The Romanians summoned Hugo so he could set Felix on fire, but Hugo refused," I said. "He's paying the price for that. Where are-"

"Aro has been working with our lesser tracker to find Demetri and Felix ever since they failed to check in a few hours ago. I sent Marcus off to help train the guard after you missed your check-in to try and take his mind off of things," Caius said. "It seems I rightly assumed that the two missed check-ins were related. Renata, Jane, fetch my brothers immediately. They need to know what has happened."

"They're not following after Demetri, at least. They don't see the point. Killing Felix was enough for them. I guess they found Demetri and Felix just after they killed Hiram, the sensor. So the mission wasn't a complete failure," I said.

"How long do you have before you have to return?" Caius asked.

I shrugged even though he couldn't see me. "I don't know. Probably not long. I want to go _home_, Caius," I said, my voice cracking.

"I know, _amore_. I know. I want you home, too," he murmured.

I heard the door as it opened on the other end of the phone. "_Mia cara_, are you alright?"

"We were worried, what's happened?" Marcus asked.

I opened my mouth, the words catching in my throat. Caius spoke in my stead. "Felix is dead, brothers."

"_What?_" They both said at once.

"How? What happened?" Marcus asked.

"And what of Demetri?" Aro added.

"Demetri is safe. Felix gave himself up so that Demetri could escape. They killed the sensor, Hiram, but I guess they were close enough to the border of the Romanian territory that they were found before they could slip away. The queens offered to spare Felix's life if he gave up information on the new queen of Volterra, but he refused. Said that he would never betray his coven like that, his queen like that. He died for me," I choked out.

"This is a sadness," Aro murmured.

"We'll need to get in contact with Demetri as soon as possible," Marcus said. "His gift no doubt allowed him to know the moment Felix died. But he needs to be prevented from doing anything rash, as their bond was one of the strongest soul sibling bonds I've ever seen."

"We'll send out our other tracker and Santiago to bring him in at once," Aro said.

"I should go. I need to check on Hugo. Doyle and Sam won't have killed him, but…" I trailed off.

"Why is Hugo being punished?" Marcus asked.

"He refused to kill Felix," Aro said. He must have seen the early portion of the phone call through Caius' memories.

"Perhaps good will come of this yet," Marcus said. "One thing Vladimir and Stefan have never learned is that force often causes more problems than it solves. And, if I'm not mistaken, their brutal actions may have just lost them their greatest member."

"You can tell? From the bond?" I asked.

"I can't see all of Hugo's bonds, only his to yours, but it is quite strong. I quite suspect the child would follow you anywhere," Marcus said. "Go find him, before your absence is noticed by others."

"Okay," I said. "They're going to die for this. I'm going to make sure they die for what they've done."

"So will we," Aro said, deadly serious. "No one harms my guard and gets away unscathed."

When I finally made my way back to Hugo's room, I found it empty. I didn't like it there without him, devoid of his cheerful presence, so I went instead to Caesar's room to wait.

I sat down on the bed that was never used. A part of my brain had taken to repeating Felix's final moments with crystal-clear clarity while another part worried about Hugo, Demetri, and everything that I stood to lose should the Romanians claim victory in this war.

It was impossible to say how long I sat motionless in Caesar's room, staring blankly at the wall. Time seemed to pass differently as an immortal, or perhaps it had simply lost the significance it had once held when I was human.

The door swung open, pulling me from thoughts that were continuously spiraling downwards into oblivion.

"He'll be alright," Caesar grunted, kicking the door shut with a foot. Hugo laid motionless in his arms. I shot to my feet.

"What happened? What did they do to him?" I demanded. My newborn instincts could take little more of this, of the people I cared about being harmed and killed; I knew if anything further happened today I would snap.

His lip curled. "Tortured him under the guise of discipline. I ventured down to get him when I felt they had carried on long enough. They had taken his head off. They weren't going to kill him, but it is one of the most demeaning and painful methods of torturing a vampire. Hugo will awake after a little while, once his venom heals him up completely. It's a longer process than what it takes to reattach an arm or leg."

"I'll kill them. I'll rip their heads from their bodies. See how they like it," I snarled, twitching towards the door.

"You do that and your guardsman's sacrifice was in vain," Caesar said, gently laying Hugo on the bed. "I understand that it must have been difficult for you. And I am sorry for your loss, truly. But this is war, and if you had revealed yourself there would have been no way you, your guard, or myself would have escaped alive."

"Felix was my friend!" I snapped, suddenly angry at him. "And I stood by and watched him die on your orders. I could have gotten us out unscathed. Hugo, too."

"And then what good would we be? Look at the big picture. We are of most use here. _This is war_. There will be losses. Family, friends, innocents. War claims them all, it always has and it always will. I have seen the rise and fall of empires. I have watched human and vampire alike make mistakes and pay the price. If you had tried to save Felix, we would have died. It doesn't matter how powerful of a gift you have. There are too many of them. We would not have made it out of that castle alive."

"I wouldn't have asked you to step in!"

"It doesn't matter. I approved your presence here. I told Vladimir and Stefan that your intentions were honorable. My cover would have been blown just as thoroughly as yours if you had chosen to attempt to save your friend. I saved both our lives."

"By forcing me to let him die! Don't pretend to know what it's like!"

"You forget, Rowan, that I've lived a very long time," Caesar said lowly. "I've fought in more wars than you could name, witnessed the deaths of countless allies and enemies alike. Your own mates have ripped friends from me because of foolish crimes. Do not presume that I do not know how you feel."

I grit my teeth, loath to admit that he was right. That not attempting to save Felix was the right decision. "I'm sorry."

"You are forgiven. We are under a lot of stress. I meant what I said earlier; I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm sure he was a fine man, one that did not deserve to die. Most who meet their ends in war do not. He died so you could live, remember that. Let his sacrifice fuel you."

"I will," I said. Felix's death would not be in vain, and I didn't need Caesar's encouragement to let it further push me to claim victory over the Romanians. "What will you do, Caesar? After all of this is over?"

"Assuming we survive, you mean?" He asked with a wry smile.

"Yes."

"I don't know. I've been a nomad for a long time. I don't exactly have anyone to return to. The only one who ever had that honor was my brother, and we both know how he met his end," Caesar mused.

"You could join the Volturi. I'd like it if you would. Believe it or not, I've actually grown kind of fond of you," I said, smiling faintly.

"I would never pledge fealty to the Volturi. They are, in some ways, just as bad as Vladimir and Stefan. However," Caesar said, holding up a pacifying hand at my offended expression, "I would not hesitate to pledge fealty to you."

I blinked. When had I earned so much of his respect that he was willing to pledge his loyalty to me? "I'm honored."

"It is nothing you have not earned," he said. "In all my years I have never met anyone, human or vampire, quite like you. You will make a good queen."

Our conversation was halted as Hugo stirred, our heads snapping towards him. I moved to his side as his eyes opened. He thrashed wildly, still dazed. "No, no, no, don't, please!"

"Hugo, it's okay! You're safe, it's okay," I said, grabbing his shoulders. "You're in Caesar's quarters, he brought you here."

Hugo launched himself into my arms, trembling as he buried his face into my shoulder. "_Fue horrible, rogué pero no pararon-_"

"Shh, you're safe. I won't let them hurt you," I murmured, carefully moving so that we were both seated on the bed. Caesar was surveying Hugo with concern but made no move to interfere, allowing me to comfort the boy.

"I don't understand. The masters said I wouldn't have to hurt anyone," Hugo whimpered.

"The masters are cruel men. They know nothing of kindness or mercy, Hugo. It was never their intention that your hands remain free of innocent blood- or venom," I said softly, running my hand rhythmically through his dark curls.

He lifted his head to peek up at me through his lashes. "I don't want to be here anymore, Rowan."

"I know, Hugo, I know. Neither do I," I said.

"You chose to come here," Hugo said. "I didn't."

I hesitated for the barest of seconds before making my decision. "I came here because I was left with no other choice. The man Vladimir and Stefan wanted you to kill, his name was Felix. And he was my friend."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ 𝕍 ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Uhhhhhhhhhhh... sorry? You all are free to kill me for this, honestly. However, as you see how the aftermath of this unfolds, it was unfortunately necessary. Also, it is war, and none of the big players dying made no sense when you consider it realistically. If it makes you feel any better (or worse, idk, depending on if Felix was your fave or not) the other two options that I had considered to kill off during this scene were Santiago or Demetri. So do with that information what you will.**

**Big shoutout to you guys for all the reviews you left me last chapter! I was honestly blown away and I'm so thankful for all of you that chose to comment with your thoughts. There was a fair amount of theorizing, and it seems that most of you were in denial that I would _actually_ go so far as to kill off Felix. After next chapter I'll be able to explain my full reasoning, but as of right now there are still some scenes I have to get through first. I know you probably hate me for this, so do be sure to let me know just how much in the comments (don't be too mean pls lol). In the meantime, here are a few responses to the many amazing reviews I was left last chapter.**

**xlDarkstarlx: So I was honestly impressed by how accurate your guess was about what would happen. I swear I had that whole scene written out before you reviewed (some of it, including the actual death, has been written for several weeks now). Unfortunately, it is war, and not everyone will make it out alive. I hate doing this to my characters (and my readers, but I'd be lying if I wasn't evil cackling when I read like every single review last chapter with people freaking out). Thank you so much for commenting (and I wouldn't say no to a bunch of anon comments, haha!). Hope you're staying healthy and that I didn't cause you too much emotional damage.**

**QuiSixx: So Demetri is safe, but Felix... not so much. I've known this was coming for a while and I was still hesitating through the whole chapter like "maybe there's some other way I can cause certain events to happen without having to kill him" but that's unfortunately not the case. Thank you so much for your support, I appreciate it so much!**

**interceptor1997: It wasn't easy for me to write it, so I can imagine it was way worse for you guys. But like you said (and like Caesar said) it's war and there will be losses. Sorry for the sadness I know I caused :( Thank you so much for commenting and supporting me! I am so grateful for it!**

**That's all I've got for you guys today, so again a big thanks to all those who have reviewed last chapter! You're free to come at me with pitchforks regarding this one. Stay safe guys and I'll chat with you all next update!**

**Translations:**  
_Fue horrible, rogué pero no pararon_ \- It was horrible, I begged but they wouldn't stop


	17. 016

**Trigger Warning: Attempted sexual assault**

"I don't understand. Felix was part of the Volturi," Hugo said, his brow furrowed.

"Do you remember when I told you about vampire history? And I explained why Athenodora and Sulpicia had come here?" I asked him.

He nodded, scooting backwards so that he could see me properly. "You said it was because the kings found their mate. A human. The one who Felix was talking about."

"Hugo, the mate of the kings, the new queen- it's me," I said.

"_Qué?_" Hugo said, bewildered. "But that- I don't understand. Why are you here? Won't they kill you if they find out? I don't want you to die! Wait, is Caesar part of the Volturi, too?"

"Definitely not," Caesar said. "Rowan and I are here for different reasons, but our aims are the same. We both wish to see the downfall of the Romanian coven. They're cruel, merciless, and if they seize power it will mark the end of society, vampire and human alike, as we know it."

"Why are you telling me?" Hugo asked.

"Because you're a good kid, Hugo. You're not like them," I said. "We're not asking you to fight this war with us. We're not asking you to kill anyone. We would never ask that of you. What we are asking is if you would join us. I don't want you to die, Hugo, and it's the only way that we can keep you safe."

"I don't want to help them anymore," Hugo said, voice soft. "You won't make me fight?"

"No," Caesar said. "We'll do our best to protect you. You don't deserve anything life has thrown at you, this least of all."

"I'll help you," Hugo said, fixing his burgundy eyes on me. "If we win, could I stay with you?"

"Of course," I said, touching his cheek lightly. "Forever, if you want."

He smiled shyly. "I'd like that."

"I'm glad that has been settled. You're free to stay in here as long as you please; however I have duties to tend to. Be careful, both of you," Caesar said, parting with one last concerned glance. It was strange how, even here, I had found myself a little family.

"Can we lay here for a little while?" Hugo asked.

"Of course," I murmured, settling back onto the few pillows. He laid his head on my stomach, eyes closed, and I could almost believe him to be asleep.

"What are your mates like?" he asked.

"Well," I said thoughtfully, brushing my fingers through his hair, "they're all very different from one another. Aro is very energetic and curious. Even with his gift letting him see my thoughts he never runs out of questions for me. Caius is strategic, and a hot-head, but noble. I can't say I've met someone quite like him; he's truly the perfect storm, but not in a negative way. Marcus is kind, thoughtful. He's not one to act rashly. His presence is a very grounding one, and he was the first sent to visit my home in Forks back when I was just getting to know them. They'd like you, I think."

"They sound nice," Hugo murmured, tracing one of the many bite marks that now decorated my arms.

"They are. I miss them very much," I said, sick with longing.

"Is there anything I can do?"

I smiled at the question, filled with love for the child who was so much like me. "You being here is enough."

We didn't move until Hugo had to attend control training. Caesar returned just as Hugo was leaving, and Caesar clapped the boy fondly on the shoulder as he passed.

"We're going to do something different today," Caesar said once Hugo was gone and the door was firmly shut.

"How so?" I asked.

"I'm not going to teach you anything new today. We're just going to spar. You're going to work off steam, so that the next time you see Doyle you don't rip his head off for killing your friend," Caesar said.

I snarled just at the thought of Doyle. "Considering I don't want to blow my cover yet, that seems wise. But when the time comes… Doyle is mine."

"That's perfectly reasonable, but that won't be for quite a while yet. For now, let's get to sparring. I'll even let you attack first," he said.

"You almost always let me attack first so that you can knock me on my ass," I grumbled.

"I don't need you to attack first in order to knock you on your ass," Caesar said, amused. "If it's any comfort, it's much harder to do now than it used to be."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and spar with me, old man."

Even with Caesar letting me use him as a punching bag, it still took all of my restraint to keep from snapping and tearing both Doyle and Sam apart. I barely noticed the blood, but I knew my murderous expression kept Doyle from ignoring me entirely.

"Let's go to your training room, Hugo," I said later that day, after watching in concern as Hugo moped around, his usual bright countenance dimmed.

"I don't want to train," he said, staring down at his hands. "I don't like fire anymore."

"We're not going to train," I said.

He glanced at me, curiosity roused. "Not to train?"

"Do you trust me?" I asked. He nodded vigorously, and I offered him my hand. "C'mon, then. You'll see."

We made the journey to the training room in silence. I worried for Hugo; this place sapped the life from people just as surely as it stole their innocence. I wondered if Hugo was seeing the same thing that I did every time I closed my eyes: Felix's head torn from his body, the flames and the smoke that smelled too sweet to be a marker of something so tragic.

"You're going to have to keep this a secret, alright? What I'm about to show you is what Caesar calls a 'tactical advantage' and it's one we can't afford to lose," I said seriously.

"I won't say anything, promise," Hugo said.

"I didn't think you would," I said, ruffling his hair. "Don't freak out, alright?"

I let the shadows engulf me, which was especially easy in the dark room, where they had already been roving around my legs and hands as they waited for command.

Hugo gasped. "Rowan? Where'd you go?"

I touched his shoulder and let the shadows wash over him, too. "I'm right here."

"You have a gift," he said, awed, raising his hand to watch in fascination the shadows that danced around his arm, visible now that he was within them.

"Shadows. I was able to control them to an extent, even when I was human. They hid me, kept me safe from my father. Not always, but…" I trailed off, ridding my mind of sour memories that made the shadows writhe more agitatedly around me.

"What else can you do?" He asked eagerly.

I grinned and tapped his nose. "What, this isn't enough for you?"

"No, it's really neat-" he hastened, and I laughed.

"I'm kidding, Hugo. If I concentrate, I can hear conversations that are happening far away. I've never tried to do it with more than one person."

"Try, try!" Hugo said, bouncing excitedly.

"Alright," I agreed, closing my eyes. I could practically feel Hugo's anticipation as he edged forward until he was against my side, his hand closing around my wrist. I let out a slow, unnecessary breath, focusing intently on Caesar until his voice filtered through the shadows.

_"When we reach the masters, you kneel and don't rise until you're told. Show respect and they'll be more likely to keep you," _Caesar said.

"Whoa," Hugo whispered, his eyes round as Caesar's voice faded.

"I didn't realize we were getting any more recruits. Must be someone from the outside," I mused.

"Anything else?" Hugo asked.

"One more thing," I said, letting the shadows that surrounded the two of us to recede. "Can you light the torches? It'll make it a little easier for you to see."

"_Si_," Hugo said, the torches springing to life and casting the room with flickering light.

"_Gracias_," I said. "This one is harder to explain, so I'll just show you."

The shadows acted on my thoughts, coagulating into a solid shape, an axe, and I wrapped my fingers around the weapon before throwing it at the wall. It embedded itself there without a sound, simply sinking into the stone like it was nothing.

"Can I touch it?" Hugo asked, speeding over to examine it with great interest.

"It should be safe," I said carefully. I didn't believe my shadows would harm anyone without my willing it, but the lack of anyone to practice with meant that I wasn't entirely certain.

Hugo didn't hesitate to reach out and grab the hilt of the axe, tugging it easily from the wall. "This is so cool!"

"It is, isn't it? Dangerous, too. See what it did to the wall? I don't doubt that it would do the same to a vampire," I said, letting the axe melt away. "You understand why I have to keep a secret?"

"_Si_, I do. Doyle wouldn't mess with you if he knew you could do this," Hugo said. "Nobody would."

"Keeping it secret means that when the battle comes, I'll have the element of surprise, the same sort of edge the Volturi had when they used Jane and Alec during a past battle with the Romanians."

"You're really smart," Hugo said, impressed.

"Not smart enough to save Felix," I murmured, and he frowned. I opened my palm, the shadows forming a small toy that settled in my hand. I offered it to Hugo. "Don't be sad. It wasn't your fault. I'm queen. He was my responsibility."

"It wasn't your fault either," Hugo said, taking the small car from me and turning it in his fingers. "But I wish you could have stopped it."

I felt sick knowing that I could have.

"Caesar found me after I left control training today," Hugo said, running the car along the bumpy stone wall. "He wants to teach me to defend myself. Should I?"

"You should. He's not trying to teach you how to kill anyone, only how to keep yourself from being killed by anyone else," I said. "It is the hard truth of life that, however much I may try, I will not always be there to keep you safe. Caesar is a good teacher, and you should accept his offer."

"Okay," Hugo agreed, completely trusting of my judgement. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course. You don't need permission to ask me a question, Hugo," I said, taking a seat by the door and leaning against the rough wall.

"Well, it's really a question I already asked, but you didn't answer. Why did you come here? You're queen, you could have stayed behind and sent someone else," Hugo said.

"In the end, I didn't really have much of a choice," I said, recalling the final days of my human existence. "We realized- I realized- that the former queens had joined Vladimir and Stefan. They had a lot of information about the inner workings of the Volturi, the sort of information that we could never hope to have about the Romanians without someone working on the inside."

"Why didn't they send someone like Felix?" Hugo asked. He had seated himself across from me, enraptured by my tale.

"All of the upper guard were those that the queens would know and recognize, Felix included. And the upper guard would be the only ones that the kings would entrust with a mission like this one," I said. "They needed someone they could trust on the inside without question, someone who wouldn't crack under pressure or torture. But they also needed someone who the queens didn't know, and there was only one person in the entirety of the Volturi who fit that description: me."

"So they decided that you would go?"

I chuckled. "Not quite. The kings are my mates, they would never agree to put me in that sort of danger, not to mention I was still human at the time. So I used my gift, along with a little good old-fashioned trickery, and escaped Volterra with the help of my sister, Alice."

"You're so brave," Hugo whispered. "So you were changed when you got here?"

"Yes. Caesar has saved my life in more ways than one: not only did he keep my identity a secret, but he used his venom to change me instead of Vladimir or Stefan's. Since a newborn won't typically harm their sire, Caesar ensured that I could carry on my mission without being blinded by the loyalty that Vladimir and Stefan's venom would have created in me."

"That's really smart," he said.

"We just have to hope that all we have sacrificed will pay off," I said, standing and offering Hugo a hand, pulling him to his feet. "We should get back to your quarters."

"Okay," he agreed, the torchlight dying. "Thank you for showing me your gift."

"You're very welcome," I said, and we stepped back into the hallway. We were met halfway back to Hugo's quarters by Adrian.

"There you are," he said irritably, his vibrant red hair ruffled. "I've been all over the castle looking for you. Master Stefan has requested that you meet him in his office, Rowan."

"Not me?" Hugo asked, his hand tight around my arm.

"No. You're free to return to your quarters," Adrian said dismissively. "Rowan, we had best hurry. Master Stefan does not like to be kept waiting."

"Certainly. Go on, Hugo. I'll meet you back in your room later," I said. Hugo's hand only tightened and he shook his head. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back soon. Go on."

I nudged him in the direction of his room, and he reluctantly released his hand from my arm, giving me one last worried look before disappearing down the hall.

"Did the master say what he wanted with me, Adrian?" I asked as I followed his lead.

"No, they hardly ever do. After so many summons by the masters or the queens, I would have assumed that you had learned this by now," Adrian said, a note of amusement in his voice.

"Seems like I must learn that truth once again," I responded, shooting him a small smile.

"Master Stefan's office," Adrian said, and we stopped outside a door that was located fairly close to the queens' quarters.

"As always, Adrian, thank you," I said, knocking lightly on the door as Adrian nodded and disappeared.

"Enter," Stefan said lazily. I opened the door, stepping inside a large office that seemed to be stuck several centuries in the past. I knelt reluctantly, my neck prickling as Stefan stared at me. "You may rise," he finally said, and I stood.

"You summoned me, Master Stefan?" I asked, hating him, but keeping my tone polite.

"Yes. Athenodora and Sulpicia inform me that you have been quite unsuccessful in your attempts to sway the Cullen coven to our side," Stefan said, eyes hard.

"They have never been ones for violence," I said, apology in my voice.

"Yes, very unfortunate," he said. "I must admit I had high hopes that your presence here would secure them as our allies. Especially the gifted members: Edward, Alice, Jasper. Jasper has substantial experience with newborns himself, and he would make quite the asset."

"I regret not being able to control their choices," I said, the words slipping out before I could stop myself.

Stefan's eyes glittered dangerously and I felt overcome with unease at the way he regarded me. "It is a shame."

"Would you like me to attempt another call?" I asked him.

"No, no. They won't join us, that much is obvious. We must work with what we have. The boy is our greatest strength, if he can be persuaded to use his gift as he should," Stefan said. He stood from his chair, running a lazy finger across the spines of some of his books as he walked towards me. "But I didn't call you here to discuss the boy. Doyle and Sam have put some sense into him, I believe. According to Caesar, they took off his head."

Roaring, white-hot anger sprang to life inside of me. "He's just a child. It was cruel."

"It is life here," Stefan said. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. Women are so soft. I've never met one with the strength to do what must be done."

Sexist bastard, I thought to myself, wondering what he would think of women after I shoved my foot up his ass.

"How is Caesar treating you?" Stefan asked, an ugly smirk on his face.

I stiffened as I remembered what he believed Caesar and I to truly be doing. "Rough."

"He is the type. So restrained most times, lots of pent up frustration," Stefan said, trailing a finger down my cheek. "He's not the only one."

I took a step back, uneasy. "What about the queen?"

"What about her?" Stefan said, sneering. "You don't think Doyle got where he did based on his personality, did you? He's delightfully brutal, that I admit, but he's never one I'd appoint myself. But Sulpicia favors him."

I grimaced. "Didn't need that mental picture."

"Nor I, and yet I walk in to see them on my bed," Stefan said flippantly. "I can't say Caesar has ever laid with either of the queens, but I doubt he'll mind sharing you once in a while."

"Don't," I said, true warning in my tone.

"Please, little Cullen, you don't have a choice," Stefan scoffed.

He grabbed me to him forcefully, stronger than I thought, one hand up my shirt before I could stop him, groping at my breasts, fingers trailing over skin that he had no right to touch.

I reacted without thinking, kneeing him in the groin and shoving him off of me so harshly that he crashed back into his ancient wooden desk. I fled, running without stopping until I reached Caesar's quarters. He had a shower, which I scrambled with until cold water rained down on me, clothes and all, as if it could wash away Stefan's hands, as if it could wash away Felix's death, as if it could wash away everything horrible that had happened to me here.

That was how Caesar found me, on the floor of his shower with my knees pulled to my chest, water still cascading down onto my motionless form.

He didn't say anything, and perhaps he didn't have to; he simply turned off the water and wrapped me in a towel, pulling me into his chest. I leaned into him and we stayed there, unspeaking, for a long time.

"Hugo's frantic," Caesar said, breaking the silence. "He said Stefan summoned you over an hour ago and that you had yet to return. I had suspected, noticed how Stefan had looked at you before. I thought as long as I held claim to you, you would be safe."

I didn't speak.

"I'm supposed to protect you," Caesar murmured, pulling the towel more snug around my shoulders despite the fact that I couldn't get cold. "I heard the shower, and I knew. How far did he go?"

I clenched my jaw, feeling phantom hands on my chest, and shoved my face further into his shoulder.

Caesar's voice was low, controlled. "How far, Rowan?"

"He caught me by surprise," I whispered, my hand fisted around Caesar's shirt like I was a child. "Put his hand up my shirt. Just my chest. Nothing more."

"It's enough," Caesar said, snarling. "I'll take care of him."

"You're going to get yourself killed," I protested. "I'm not worth it."

"You are. I should have stopped this before it started. He won't touch you again, I'll make sure of it," Caesar promised me.

I let out a hollow laugh. "How?"

"Don't worry. Just know that I will. You've suffered a lot of things here. This was never supposed to be one of them."

No, it wasn't. I wondered how much more I would suffer, how much more of myself I would have to lose before we escaped this place.

I wondered if the me that would return to Volterra would be me at all.

Deep down, I know the answer.

No.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Hello all! So here I was, prepared to move on to an important plot point that should crop up next chapter, and then the Stefan scene happened. I swear it wasn't _planned_, and I really hated to do it to poor Rowan, but it fits with how things will end up playing out in the future so I decided to go ahead with it. At the very least, I hope you all enjoyed that lovely dose of protective!Caesar, who I'm pretty sure I'm in love with at this point. Can I please marry my own character? Anywho, as expected, all hell broke loose in the comments after the events of last chapter. Thank you all for leaving your thoughts, I appreciate it! Unfortunately, as you can see it was Felix's death that ultimately pushed Hugo to Rowan and Caesar's side, and his death will also be a direct catalyst for a shortly incoming plot point which I'm quite looking forward to. **

**All that said, on to some responses to you awesome reviewers!**

**HannahStewart-chan: I absolutely hated having to kill Felix, I loved him. I've gotten a LOT of requests from readers to bring him back some way or another, either through some god-mode development of Rowan's powers or through another vampire with power over the dead, like you mentioned. I do really like your take on how a gift like bringing back someone who's dead would work, I think that's a great way to balance out that ability. So if I were to bring Felix back, I would probably put in some sort of restraint like what you mentioned. I love Hugo as well! I think writing a scene with him and Carmen would be so much fun, they'd definitely click right away. It would be super cute. Thank you for reviewing!**

**theflowercrowns: She was going to right up until Caesar pointed out that it was too dangerous, even with her gift. Interesting to think about an AU where she acts to save Felix anyway. I'm so glad you like her relationship with Hugo, I enjoy writing them together! Thank you for reviewing!**

**Eris Moonsong: Aww, thank you so much! I get the happy feels whenever anyone says that Tenebrous/Penance is one of their favorites :) The fact that it's war and death is unavoidable in it was another major factor in my decision to have Felix be killed. Thank you and stay safe!**

**I've been pretty busy these past few days, what with starting a new summer job and such, but I'm hoping to continue putting out chapters pretty regularly for you guys, especially now that it's getting closer to the final showdown. A big thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, please make sure to keep it up and let me know what you think about this one, too! Did you expect Stefan to pull a move like that? What about his mention of Doyle and Sulpicia sleeping together? Lots of interesting stuff going on there.**

**Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing, and I hope you are all staying safe and healthy! Later, alligators!**


	18. 017

Caesar escorted me back to Hugo once some time had passed, long enough that I had stopped trembling and my hair had mostly dried.

"You're okay!" Hugo cried when I opened his door, throwing himself into my arms. I could feel him shaking and he looked up at me, arms still wrapped around my torso. "I told Caesar you hadn't come back, and then _he _didn't come back, and I was scared that-"

"Shh, Hugo, it's okay. I'm okay," I assured him, rubbing his back gently. "They can't get rid of me that easily."

"What happened? Why were you gone?" Hugo asked, pulling the door shut. Caesar had already gone.

I curled onto the end of Hugo's couch and he plopped down next to me, leaning against my arm. I hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him. "Stefan and I had a… conversation. His behavior left me shaken, so I went to Caesar's quarters after I left Stefan's office to calm down."

"What did he do to you?" Hugo asked, as startlingly perceptive as he always was.

"Please don't worry about it, Hugo. Caesar is taking care of it," I said. "What's done is done, and I'd rather just… not think about it right now."

"Okay," Hugo agreed softly. He looked at my watch. "Caesar excused us from our first combat training session, but we need to leave now if we want to get to the second without being late."

Considering Caesar had spent a fair chunk of the afternoon with me, I wondered who had run the previous training session. When we arrived down at the training field, Sam was calling for everyone to fall in and my unspoken question was answered.

"Caesar is on other business currently, so I'll be running this combat session," Sam said, pacing in front of the lines of vampires. "You will give me the same respect that you give him during training, otherwise I'll have Xander and Doyle tag team for the shortest, most brutal ring fight thus far. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" I intoned with the others, ready to get this over with. I really didn't feel like fighting today, despite how restless my vampire instincts were making me feel. The mate bond had flared after what had occurred earlier, demanding the comfort of my mates, and the resulting pain left me in no mood to grapple with the other newborns.

"As we have no more beginners, you all know how this works. Let's get started," Sam ordered.

I was only called for one fight against an olive-skinned vampire whom I shared control training with. I beat him, if only so my day would have one bright spot in it, and retreated back to my place in the ring without the victorious smirk I would usually wear on winning a fight. Miraculously, Hugo's name was not called at all.

I spotted Adrian as Hugo and I were making our way back to the castle. He was talking with Doyle, who was wearing an expression of twisted delight.

Of course they were looking at me. Adrian caught my eye and jerked his head, motioning me over.

"Go on, Hugo," I said, frowning.

"I'm going with you," he said, and I could tell he wasn't to be dissuaded. I made my way reluctantly through the ankle-high grass towards the two.

"Good news, Cullen," Doyle said before Adrian could even speak. "You and I get a special little one-on-one session. I'm simply _dying _to know what you did to deserve punishment, but as Adrian won't tell me, I suppose I'll just have to torture it out of you."

Adrian grimaced, looking almost apologetic. "Master Stefan ordered Doyle to carry out disciplinary action after the incident that occurred earlier."

"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any better," I snarked, but my heart wasn't in it. "Go on to your room, Hugo. I'll find you later."

Hugo frowned. "But-"

"No buts," I said, stern now. "Go."

"_Sí señora_," Hugo said unhappily, turning and running back towards the castle.

"Excited, Cullen?" Doyle asked, leading the way back inside.

"Couldn't be more thrilled," I said, seriously considering whether I should just use my gift to take the castle by stealth and save my mates the trouble of war. I highly doubted, however, that I would be able to take on Vladimir and Stefan even with the aid of the shadows.

"We'll have lots of fun, Cullen, don't you worry about that. Unfortunately, I'm constrained to an hour, but we can still do plenty in that time," Doyle said, tossing me a malicious grin and stepping aside so I could enter an unfamiliar room that was set deep within the castle. "Welcome to the dungeon. No prisoners, of course; it's solely used to teach lessons to those who misbehave. Like you. Have to admit, I knew from day one that we'd end up here eventually. I could see it in your eyes."

I wisely chose to remain silent.

"I have a bit of a knack when it comes to reading people. Not as good as Caesar, though I doubt anyone is," Doyle said, shutting the door. "And you… well, the masters may not have noticed, but I certainly have. You have fight in you. It would be much easier for you, now, Cullen, to keep that spirit of yours in good check, or I will make this punishment very nasty. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said.

"Good, good," Doyle said idly, watching me as he stalked around the room. "Did you know that a vampire's body can actually recover from minor burns? They are incredibly painful, and it takes a fair amount of time, but as long as it's not too severe…"

He took torch from the wall, stalking towards me. "A very effective torture method for everyone except that boy of yours, who is most regretfully fireproof. I had to get a bit more creative for him, but I'd like to think creativity is one of my greatest strengths - besides my _actual _strength, of course. Once we're done here, I'm sure you'll agree." His friendly tone dropped. "Give me your arm, Cullen."

I didn't want to do this. I could kill him, get Caesar and Hugo, and leave before anyone was the wiser. But I was here to save my mates, to save my family, to save my friends. It was the only way we could win.

_Whatever it takes._

I had taken pain before, taken years of it at the hands of my father. I could take this, too. I had to take this.

"Good girl," Doyle said as I extended my arm, my skin glittering in the light. He raised the torch, until the tips of the flames just brushed against the sensitive skin of my inner arm. Like the turn, but worse, because now I was truly burning.

I screamed.

"The one problem with fire," Doyle said, after he had tired of tormenting me with flames, "is that it's not quite _permanent _enough. The idea of a venom brand was a truly ingenious idea of the masters', though I don't have one here. Master Stefan did give me one explicit instruction, however, as to how I should ensure this little session of ours - which is almost over, unfortunately - sticks in your mind."

"And how's that?" I asked, burns crawling with agony as my venom slowly stitched me back together.

"There's a place on the neck that's quite coveted by mates. Bite there and it's considered a mark. Staking claim, so to speak. I'm quite curious as to why I have to sink my teeth into _that _particular spot, but you've made it abundantly clear you aren't going to tell me anything, so I won't waste my time trying to get an answer out of you."

"Please don't," I said, the closest thing to a beg for mercy I had come to during this torture session.

"Sorry, Cullen," Doyle said, despite not looking sorry at all. "Orders are orders. And I take pleasure knowing that you don't want me to do this."

My still-healing burns prevented me from truly being able to fight back, and with minimal struggle Doyle overpowered me, sinking his teeth into the juncture of my neck and shoulder. "For good measure," he said, and clamped his teeth into the other side, too.

The door banged open as Doyle pulled back, vicious pleasure written all over his face. Caesar, strode in. "Time's up."

"Always so punctual," Doyle said, rolling his eyes. "I enjoyed our time, Cullen."

"Feeling isn't mutual," I grunted. Caesar made a move to pick me up and I shook my head. "No, I want to walk."

"In the state you're in?" Caesar asked in disbelief.

"Just help me," I growled, and he complied, looping an arm around my waist and heaving me to my feet.

"Love that spirit of yours. Makes things so much fun," Doyle said, patting one of the burns on my arm so that I grunted in pain. "Until next time, Cullen!"

"How long will this take to heal?" I asked, leaning heavily on Caesar as he helped me out of the room.

He pursed his lips. "A couple hours, probably. It would be quicker if you were well-fed. I'm taking you to my quarters, Hugo can't see you like this."

"Is he doing okay?"

"He's worried sick, but he's fine. I sent him to his room with some company before coming to get you."

"Company?" I inquired.

"You'll see. Worry about healing up first," Caesar said. We made it back to his quarters after several long minutes of walking. "Carrying you would have made this far easier. Must you always be so stubborn?"

"Please, you love it," I said.

"I wouldn't go that far. Stay here, don't move. I'm going to see about getting you some blood," Caesar said once I was settled on his bed.

"I've got another six days," I said, the overwhelming burn in my throat a constant reminder of my thirst.

"Exceptions are occasionally made," Caesar said, ordering me once more not to move before leaving the room.

I wanted so badly to sleep, or to sink into some form of unconsciousness, anything to ease the pain of my healing burns, my thirst, the mate bond. Pain had been my constant companion for many years as a child, but even I had a breaking point. I felt like I would shatter at any moment.

Even if I had known before coming here what I would suffer as a result, I wouldn't change my course. Not since it was the only way we even had a shot at winning.

"I got you a little something," Caesar said, returning what felt like a half-hour later with a blood bag in hand. "It isn't much, especially for a newborn, but it should help speed up the healing process a little."

I took it greedily, drinking every last drop, but Caesar was right: it wasn't enough, not by a long shot. It wasn't even enough to soothe the burn in my throat by a degree.

Meanwhile, Caesar was examining my injuries. "Give it another two hours and you should be healed."

"Thanks," I said quietly.

He smiled at me, looking almost sad, and gently patted an unburnt section of my shoulder. "Of course."

The ache of the burns lessened as they continued to heal, and a little over two hours later there was no trace that I had ever been injured. Even the bite scars, which I had accumulated over hours of combat training, had healed, but I didn't doubt that there would be replacements for them within the week.

But the memories of the burns, the feeling of the fire eating away my skin, remained.

"I'm going to fetch Hugo," Caesar said after declaring me fully healed.

"And his company?" I asked.

"Yes. In the meantime, change your shirt. You can take one of mine, there's clean button-ups in the top drawer," he said, motioning towards the dresser.

"Thanks," I said, and he nodded before leaving the room. I wasted no time in discarding my burnt and tattered shirt, selecting another from Caesar's dresser. I chose one that was a deep, ruby red. It reminded me of the color Aro would often wear, and I took comfort in its familiarity.

"Are you clothed?" Caesar asked, cracking open the door.

"Yes, thanks for the shirt," I said, tucking it into my jeans before beginning to roll up the too-long sleeves.

"It's no trouble," he said, opening the door fully.

Hugo bounded inside, squeezing me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him in return, and he looked up at me anxiously. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Hugo," I assured him, ruffling his hair. "Promise."

"As for Hugo's company, I'm positive you've already met," Caesar said, closing the door.

My eyes landed on the figure standing beside him and shock jolted through my system. "_Maxim?_"

"Figured you could use another ally," Maxim said lazily.

"I- what are you doing here?" I stammered. It was bad enough that Caesar and Hugo were here with me, in constant danger. I didn't want Maxim in danger, too.

Maxim raised a brow. "A 'thank you', would have sufficed, but to answer your question, I volunteered."

"Volunteered?" I repeated.

"After Felix's death, the masters wanted someone else on the inside to watch your back, someone they knew and trusted. No offense," he added, glancing at Caesar, who made a dismissive gesture. "Considering I'm part of the reason you're here, I felt it only apt that I volunteer to help keep you safe."

"I wish there wasn't another one of us in danger here, Maxim. But for what it's worth, thank you," I said.

"It was the right thing to do. The masters weren't pleased when they found out my involvement in your escape, mind you, but considering how well our abilities meshed when you were still human, Master Aro thought I was the wisest choice," Maxim said. "Besides, someone has to help you get control of your gift. Caesar has brought me up to speed regarding your… difficulties."

"I'm working through it," I said.

"Considering I believe the battle to be less than a month away, I could hardly say no to giving you some outside help, and we don't have any more time for you to figure it out yourself," Caesar said. "And before you ask, no, I don't have a date yet. But it appears Vladimir and Stefan have narrowed the time frame down to sometime in early June."

"That soon?" Maxim asked, folding his arms across his chest. "The kings were hoping for July at the earliest, but I think they knew realistically that it would be sooner."

"Is Volterra not ready?" I asked, worried.

"They're ready, to an extent. I'll be able to give a more definite answer once I see how Vladimir and Stefan are running things here as to whether our coven is ready for the onslaught. Training has been happening around the clock, so combat readiness is not an issue. It's more that the longer between now and the battle, the more allies the kings can persuade to fight for our cause."

"Which has come up in the strategic meetings I attend," Caesar said. "Vladimir and Stefan know that the longer they delay, the stronger and larger the Volturi force will become. Their rush to fight could be both a blessing and a curse, depending on if the Volturi have a suitable number to stand against trained newborns."

"You're in charge of their combat training, aren't you?" Maxim asked.

"I am. I've done what I can to make them vulnerable. They have no defensive skills," Caesar said.

"Very clever," Maxim approved. He checked his watch. "You had best show me to my post, Caesar. No doubt they're waiting on me."

"What do they have you doing?" I asked.

"Border patrol. My age has given me an edge; they desperately need experience and it only took Caesar's approval for them to set me as co-lead over border operations," he answered.

"And that means-"

"That I can attempt to prevent what happened to Felix from happening to anyone else, correct," Maxim said, reading me easily. "My rest hour is at six in the morning, so I'll meet you then for training. Is there anywhere else we can work besides Caesar's quarters that won't have us be overheard?"

"My training room," Hugo meekly suggested.

Caesar gave him an impressed look. "I believe that would work perfectly, Hugo. Good thinking."

"_Gracias_," Hugo said, beaming.

"I'll show Maxim where it's located on his way to his post," Caesar said.

"Good. Remember, six o'clock. Try not to be late. We have much to accomplish and not a lot of time to do it," Maxim said. "Until then, be careful."

I smiled at him. "You do the same."

"I'll try my best," he said, bowing slightly.

I grimaced. "No bowing, Maxim, please. We're all equals here."

"If you insist. Good to see you again, Rowan," Maxim said before sweeping out the door, Caesar shortly behind him.

"I like Maxim," Hugo said once they left. "He's a little scary, but I think it's mostly for show."

"I do too," I agreed, ruffling his hair. "Let's get back to your room, we can- _shit!_"

"What?" he asked, eyes widening.

"The kings. I was supposed to check in with them three hours ago," I said.

"Check in?" Hugo echoed.

"It's what I do with my free hour, so they know I'm alright. I'll take you to your room, then I have to go call before they do something impulsive thanks to sheer panic," I said.

I had never left the castle so quickly, cursing under my breath the whole way and thankful that the shadows kept me from being heard.

Caius picked up instantly, and I was speaking before he had a chance. "I'm so sorry, I'm fine, something happened. It's been a long night."

"_Amore_, it's alright. Maxim notified us of your wellbeing when he heard you would be missing your normal check-in time, though he did not divulge a reason," Caius soothed. "What happened?"

"I was needed for a task. Nothing important," I lied. It was best if they didn't know the true reason, for their own sakes.

"Alright," Caius said, though he didn't sound entirely convinced. "Aro is indisposed at present, working with Bella and Edward, but Marcus is here."

"Hello, Marcus," I said, smiling when I heard his voice.

"Hello, _tesoro_. How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright," I said, realizing that even to myself I sounded off. "Maxim arrived, and he's safe. Though I suppose you know that. They've put him as a co-lead over border patrol."

"Yes, we knew of his safe arrival, but not that he had been put in a position so prominent," Caius said.

"He said he's going to do his best to prevent what happened to Felix from happening again," I said.

"Are you sure you're well?" Marcus asked gently.

"I-" The words were on the tip of my tongue: my starvation, the brutal control trainings, the toll of Felix's death, Stefan, Doyle's punishment. I wanted so badly to tell them. But they would act rashly if I did, launch a half-cocked attack for the sole reason of bringing me back to them, and they would lose.

So instead, I said, "I just miss you guys." That wasn't _technically _a lie.

"We miss you too, _amore_," Caius said, and I could hear the longing in his voice. The longing to have me safely back within the walls of Volterra, safely back in his arms.

"We have the small comfort of knowing that the mate bond, on your end, is not full-fledged, nor will it be until you see us again," Marcus said. "You have only saw us when you were human, so it is weaker, though still there. If you had seen us as a vampire, the pain of the mate bond would increase ten-fold."

"Does that mean you-"

"Do not worry about us, _amore_," Caius said. "The bond is painful, but it is nothing compared to the fear of what could happen to you while in the clutches of the Romanians, and nothing compared to our determination to win this war for you."

"I'm sorry," I said. I hadn't meant to cause them pain. I hadn't thought about the fact that the separation would cause them pain, too.

"Do not apologize. We will win this war, and you will have peace, and safety, and everything we cannot presently give you," Marcus said.

"Everything will be as it was," Caius assured me.

I hugged my knees to my chest, the shadows swirling comfortingly around me. "I hope so," I murmured, to placate them.

But how could things be as they were before, after everything that has happened?

How could things be as they were before when I am no longer the person I was before?

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Once again, I'm SORRY, and I promise that things will be improving a little now that Maxim has arrived. The battle is close, which means it's more important than ever that Rowan be able to fully control her ability. I'm excited to have Maxim back in the picture, he's a lot of fun to write and definitely an interesting character. If you want someone to blame for the torture session Stefan ordered for Rowan, one of my readers made the point that Stefan wouldn't just let her go, even with Caesar intervening. So while Caesar's actions will prevent Stefan from bothering Rowan in the future, he's still angry that she basically humiliated him. Any theories about what Caesar said to Stefan to get him to back down? My peeps over on Wattpad voted that the confrontation scene should be a bonus chapter, so you'll find out about exactly what went down then.**

**Thank you so much to those who reviewed, I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement! It seems you guys are just as excited as I am about what is to come, which I'm so happy about! Here are a few responses to reviews on the last chapter:**

**yolo2002liveforever: I feel bad about killing Felix, I won't lie to you. But I'm glad you're happy that Hugo is officially on their side. I loved writing protective!Caesar, maybe I'll write that again in the future, we'll see what happened. Thank you so much for your review, I appreciate it!**

**laurynhoward: Thank you! I love writing angsty, action-filled, suspenseful stories, so I'm glad you're liking it! Thank you for reviewing!**

**Sodapop4me2004: Thank you! I'm thankful for your support and I'm grateful for your review!**

**Since I've got company coming shortly and I'm on a bit of a time crunch at present, I won't continue rambling on. So once again, thanks to all who have commented, please keep it up as it means so much to me! Stay safe and I will chat with you all in the next update!**


	19. 018

The day improved marginally when I, for the first time, managed to defeat Caesar during our one-on-one sessions.

"Very good," he praised. "You may have a chance yet. But don't let it go to your head, you still have much to learn."

He demonstrated this by beating me soundly in our next sparring match.

"I didn't know that move," I complained as he pulled me to my feet.

"You're not going to know every move the enemy throws at you or how to defend it. You have to think on your feet and be able to improvise," Caesar told me. "I can teach you stances and forms all day, but it's all useless if you can't adapt to your enemy's fighting style, no matter how foreign it is from your own. And that's not something you teach; you either can do it, or you cannot. It does, however, in part come with experience."

"Then give me experience. Fight using styles I don't know, because there's no way you've taught me everything there is to know."

"Far from it," Caesar said, a glint of approval in his eyes. "As with all my teaching methods, the best way for you to learn is for me to throw you in to the proverbial deep end."

"Sink or swim. Great," I quipped, though this was nothing less than what I expected. "Bring it on."

After spending the rest of the hour having my ass handed to me by Caesar (though he assured me that I had improved by the end), I made my way to Hugo's training room for my first session with Maxim, who was already waiting for me by the time I arrived.

"How's border patrol?" I asked once I had shut the door.

"Uneventful, but informative. Most times they have nothing better to do than gossip about what goes on within the walls of the castle," Maxim said.

"You find out anything of use?"

"Nothing yet, but I have no doubt they'll talk more freely once I've earned their trust. I have high hopes about this yet," he said.

"Do Vladimir and Stefan know about your gift?" I asked, my voice stumbling slightly when I spoke Stefan's name.

"I told them what I needed to persuade them I was useful and worth keeping. They believe my ability to create an aura of fear around me to be the full extent of my abilities."

"What _is _the full extent of your abilities?" I asked.

Maxim offered me a wry smile. "Let us just hope that you never have to find out, hmm? Besides, _my _gift is not the reason we are here. It's yours that I am far more interested in. Tell me how it's developed."

I explained my shadows, how they had evolved into something more powerful now that I was a vampire, from becoming solid to even listening in on distant conversations.

"You speak proudly of your gift, yet still you fear it," Maxim said thoughtfully. "You first feared that it would fail you, and you still do, but now you fear yourself also. It's rare that I encounter someone whose gift they cannot control due to their own fear of it, but it does happen. It's more common with darker gifts like ours. It's perfectly natural to fear succumbing to that darkness; the problem arises when we allow that fear to control us, and thus control our gift and how we wield it."

"So you've encounter this before?" I asked.

"Once, about two-hundred odd years ago. He was something of a protégé of mine. His gift, like yours, meshed well with mine. We were technically considered a coven, I suppose, and I joined the Volturi after we parted ways about a decade ago, cordially of course. He still owes me a favor." Maxim added the last sentence as an afterthought.

"What did you do? To help him get over his fear of, well, himself?"

"It involved using my gift against him in a way that I am not fond of with those I like," he said. "Hopefully it will not come to that, so we'll consider that unsavory method a last resort. We've wasted enough time talking. I have a lot to teach you and less than a month to do it."

Maxim refused to actually use his gift in tandem with mine during our practice session. In fact, neither of us ended up using our abilities at all. Instead, he taught me to meditate, stating that mastery of self would lead to mastery of my gift.

With how much was going on in my head, especially now that I was a vampire, meditation was basically impossible, and we were both frustrated by the end.

"Meditate whenever you can," Maxim ordered me before we left the room. "We're going to start working with your gift tomorrow. If this was a different situation, we wouldn't move on until you had mastered meditation, but we just don't have the time. So some improvising on my side is necessary. I believe we share the latest combat training session, so I will see you then."

"Thank you for doing this, Maxim," I said.

"It's my duty," he said, "and I can't say I don't find your determination admirable. So I will help you in whatever way I can."

"Still, I appreciate it. Be careful out there, I'll see you this evening," I said. We parted ways, Maxim to the border and me back to Hugo's room. Hugo arrived shortly after I did, positively vibrating with excitement.

"Guess what, guess what!"

I grinned at him. "What?"

"Doyle graduated me from advanced control training! I'm done!"

"No way! Congratulations, I'm so proud of you," I said, wrapping him in a hug and ruffling his unruly curls. "Does that mean you're done with control training forever?"

"Yes, completely done! And since I am, I'll get to feed off two humans instead of one," he said, elated at the prospect of his thirst finally being properly sated.

"You lucky duck," I said. I was truly happy for him, but I wished more than anything that I would be able to feed more - and more often - as well.

"You should move up to intermediate training soon. Once you hit advanced, they let you feed once a week, so if you work extra hard maybe you'll be able to move up quick," Hugo said. "I would split my share with you if I could."

"I would never take it. You've earned it," I said. "I'm really proud of you."

"_Gracias_," he said, glowing at my praise.

"What should we do to celebrate?" I asked him.

He seemed almost baffled by the concept. "Celebrate?"

"Yeah. You achieved something great. I'd say that's as much a cause for celebration as any," I said.

"No one's ever wanted to celebrate something I did before," he said.

It was unsettling sometimes, to see how similar Hugo was to my younger self. "And that changes now. What do you want to do?"

"Could I-" he hesitated, voice fading to a whisper as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, "Could I maybe get to talk to your mates?"

"Of course, if that's what you want," I said. I was startled by his request, but pleased. I was glad he wanted to know the kings.

"Can we go now?" he asked hopefully.

I checked my watch. "Let's wait until after my control training, that way we'll have plenty of time. I don't want to risk being late."

"Okay," he agreed, plucking one of his comics off his small shelf and burying his nose in it.

I merely smiled and settled back beside him on the couch, doing my best to meditate as Maxim instructed.

Control training passed in its normal fashion; my focused, heated anger towards Doyle and Sam for their murder of Felix was enough to distract me from my bloodlust.

"Stay back, Cullen," Doyle called after the feeding frenzy at the end of the session had taken place. I had only gotten a few mouthfuls of blood, which wasn't nearly enough to change my eyes from black to red.

I surveyed Doyle and Sam warily as the rest of the newborns trickled out of the room. Doyle gave me a toothy grin. "Don't look so worried there, Cullen. You're not in trouble. Unless you want to be."

I snapped my teeth at him. "You don't want to go there, Doyle."

"Probably not," he said, barking out a laugh. "You're a bit too fiery for my tastes, anyway. I prefer my women submissive, and that you are not."

"Why am I here?" I asked impatiently, tired of Doyle's games.

"Tomorrow you're to report to intermediate control training, it takes place from thirteen- to fifteen-hundred hours. Congratulations," he added as an afterthought, the word clearly insincere.

"You'll be switching combat training times as you'll no longer be able to make the one at fourteen-hundred," Sam said. "Your new time is at ten, and you'll continue to attend the other session that takes place at eighteen-hundred hours. As your assignment includes watching over Hugo, his combat training schedule has been updated to match yours."

"Got it. Anything else?" I asked.

"No. You can go," Sam said.

I turned on my heel and left, dreading the control training that was to come. I simply hoped that my hatred of Doyle and Sam would be enough to curb my bloodlust; if it wasn't, I knew Doyle wouldn't hesitate to rip off my arms if I stepped even a toe out of line.

"Can we go?" was the first thing Hugo said to me when I stepped foot in his room.

"We can try. It's cloudy out, which helps, but I don't know if that will be enough shadow to hide us both in. If it's too little, we'll have to go tonight," I said, keeping my voice quiet to prevent us from being overheard.

Hugo nodded. I poked my head outside the room, making sure it was empty, before motioning Hugo out and cloaking us both within shadows. "Stay close to me, and don't touch anything," I ordered lowly, despite the shadows preventing us from being overheard.

"_Sí señora_," Hugo said obediently, reaching out to take my hand. We made our way out of the castle, and I paused just before the exit, evaluating the light level. There was a guard posted to our right, who would see us immediately if I couldn't maintain the shadows needed to keep us hidden. I called more shadows to bunch around us, relying on the extra padding to prevent us from being seen in the time it would take to reach the shade of the trees.

"Now," I told Hugo, and we sprinted towards the trees. The shadows around us held steady, but I wasn't willing to risk finding out how long we could stay out in the open before being seen.

"We made it," Hugo said, relieved, once we reached the trees. We were still safely within the shadows, but the volume of his voice made me tense anyway, glancing back towards the posted guard.

"Yes. We still have a ways to go, however, and we'll be within the shadows until we return to your room. So stick close," I told him, unneeded as he was still clinging to my hand.

We made it to where I hid my items without incident, and Hugo took several awed moments to examine my crest. "What do the gems mean?"

"Three of the gems match what are in the crests of my mates. Onyx for Aro, ruby for Caius, and emerald for Marcus," I explained. "The fourth, opal, represents me."

"Why opal?" Hugo questioned.

"It's not symbolic of anything, if that's what you mean," I said. "It's my favorite, and that was taken into account on the creation of my crest."

"If I join the Volturi, will I get a crest?"

"Of course. Everyone who joins the Volturi gets a crest," I said, ruffling his hair.

"They don't- they don't brand us, do they? Like the masters here do?" Hugo asked anxiously.

I growled, pulling him closer to me. "No, never. Vladimir and Stefan are barbaric, Hugo. To join or leave the Volturi is a choice you can freely make, like Carlisle or my Uncle Eleazar did. They do not brand us, we are not cattle nor are we blindly loyal. The crest signifies your _choice, _Hugo, just as much as your loyalty."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Good."

I stowed my crest carefully back in the bag, pulling out the burner phone instead. "Are you ready?"

"_Si_," he said, nervous. "Do you think they'll like me?"

"They'll love you, Hugo, just like I do. Promise."

He looked up at me with round eyes. "You love me?"

"Yes. And I'll take care of you as well as I can," I said.

He hugged me tightly. "I love you, too."

"Let's call my mates, hmm?" I said, dialing Caius' number. It was an odd time of day, unlike when I normally called, and I knew he'd be worried upon answering.

Caius picked up on the second ring. "_Amore_, are you well?"

"Nothing's wrong, I'm perfectly fine," I assured him. "I know it's an odd time to call."

"Have you learned something, perhaps their planned date of attack?"

"No, but Caesar did say that they've narrowed it down to sometime in early June, which gives us less than a month," I said.

"Early June is just over two weeks away," Caius said. "I'd hardly call that a month. We'll be ready then, I hope."

"I didn't call because of that, though," I said. "Hugo graduated from control training today, so I asked him what he wanted to do to celebrate."

"I see," Caius said slowly, his tone implying the exact opposite.

"He wanted to talk to you three," I told him.

"In that case, let me send for my brothers. Alec, Demetri-"

"Demetri's there?" I asked, ignoring Hugo's questioning look. Demetri had managed to evade Santiago and Alicia, the lesser tracker, for several days, proving he was just as skilled at evasion as he was tracking.

"Yes, he just arrived back early this morning. Santiago and the other tracker finally caught up to him late last night, after our usual check-in," Caius informed me.

"That's a relief," I said. "How is he doing?"

"About as we expected. He's grieving, reckless. There's no way we can send him out on any further missions with him acting as he is, but I know he won't be kept from the battle," Caius said.

"Who's Demetri?" Hugo whispered to me, wiggling with impatience.

"Demetri is our tracker, one of the elite guard," Caius answered for me, hearing Hugo's question. "He was there when Felix was taken. They were soul brothers, and their bond was quite strong; Felix's death was a devastating loss for him."

"Oh," Hugo said, and I knew he would be blushing if he was still human; he hadn't meant to be heard by anyone besides me.

"It's alright," I assured him. "Hugo, you're talking with Caius, one of my mates. Caius, this is Hugo."

"Hello, Hugo. It's nice to finally talk with you. Rowan speaks very highly of you." I couldn't quite place the tone of Caius' voice; it was much less sharp than I was accustomed to, but a different kind of gentleness compared to the tone he used with me.

"_Hola_," Hugo said, glancing up at me uncertainly. I gave him an encouraging smile. "Are you really going to beat Vladimir and Stefan's army?"

"We will try our best," Caius said. "I'm sure you're old enough to understand that victory is never promised."

"I know," Hugo said.

I heard the sound of the throne room's door opening, Aro's voice possessing an echoing quality in the large room. "Brother, Alec tells us Rowan is on the phone. Is she well?"

"She is fine," Caius said. "And she has a companion with her today."

"A companion? Not Maxim, surely?" Marcus asked.

"No. It's the boy, Hugo. He wanted to speak with us," Caius explained.

"Aro, Marcus, meet Hugo," I said.

"Greetings, young one. I'm so pleased to finally get to speak with you, Rowan praises you so highly," Aro said, and Hugo glowed. "I trust you are taking care of each other?"

"_Si-_ yes sir, I mean," Hugo stammered, looking up at me in silent question. _Aro_, I mouthed, and he nodded.

"Now, none of those formalities. You may call us by our names, if you wish," Aro said cheerfully.

"A child of Rowan's is a child of ours," Marcus said, agreeing. I did not have to wonder what Marcus saw in my bond with Hugo. I loved him with love a love entirely different from how I loved the kings, but just as fierce. I imagined it to be how a mother loved her child.

"Marcus can see the emotional ties between people," I explained to Hugo, glimpsing his confused expression.

"Your bond with Rowan is quite special," Marcus said, and did not elaborate further.

"You'll protect her, won't you?" Hugo asked, startling me. His young voice was suddenly fierce. "Once we've left this place, when it's time to fight, you'll protect her." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement, almost an order.

"Of course," Aro said, sounding quite surprised himself. "To the best of our ability, and with our lives if necessary."

There seemed to be a smile in Marcus' voice. "That is the nature of the bond."

"Good," Hugo said, sounding satisfied. He looked up at me. "I approve."

My jaw dropped, and I was caught between shock and amusement. "Hugo-"

"It's perfectly alright," Marcus said over Caius' laughter. "I understand your protectiveness completely, Hugo, and your care for Rowan is admirable. It is always wise to speak to someone yourself before giving them trust, rather than relying on the accounts of others."

"Clever boy," Caius inputted, his voice wavering like he was still fighting back chuckles.

"It seems our Rowan is in good hands," Aro said.

Hugo's chest puffed out at their praise. "_Gracias_."

I checked my watch, reluctant to end the call as the four seemed to be getting along so well, but concerned that we may be missed if we remained much longer. "Perhaps we should be getting back to your room, Hugo."

"You're right," he agreed, understanding just as I did what may happen if our absence was noticed.

"Be careful," Aro said. "Will you still be calling tonight, _mia cara_?"

"Yes," I said. "I probably won't have anything new to tell you by then, however."

"That's alright. You've given us plenty of information as it is," Marcus said. "We will talk to you soon."

"Love you guys. Talk to you soon," I said.

Once everything was stowed away and hidden back in its rightful spot, Hugo and I made the risky journey back to his room, which occurred without incident. Still, utilizing the shadows during the daylight made me uneasy.

"We're not doing this again during the day," I told him, once we were safely back in his room. "It's too dangerous."

Hugo made no protest, and we spent the rest of the day in its normal fashion. It was the following morning when things began to change.

"I have news," Caesar said when I stepped into his quarters. "They've set a date."

A thrill of something like fear shot through me. "When?"

"June fifth. Two weeks."

"Two weeks," I repeated, and three things hit me in quick succession.

One: I had just two weeks to master my gift, which did not feel like nearly enough.

Two: In two weeks, I would find out if all I had sacrificed here was worth it, or if it was all in vain.

Three: During the battle, the Volturi would have no way to identify Caesar or Hugo as allies. They would be nothing but another face in the army, another enemy to defeat, unless-

My eyes snapped to his face. "We need to get to Volterra."

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**What is up my dudes? I hope you all are doing well and keeping yourselves safe and healthy. It hasn't been a horribly long time since I last updated, but it feels like it has. If it makes you feel any better, it's primarily because I've been working on-and-off on a Twilight short(ish) story that you all will hopefully get to see soon. It's unrelated to Penance, but I've enjoyed writing it so far and I think you all will like it too. **

**So Rowan realizes she needs to get Caesar and Hugo to Volterra. How do you think she'll manage that? Do you think she'll even be able to persuade Caesar to agree? What will Maxim think of the whole plan? Let me know what you think in the comments! Speaking of, huge thanks to all of you who take the time to comment and let me know what you think! I truly appreciate it, you guys are awesome! Here's some responses to your reviews from last chapter:**

**HannahStewart-chan: Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me 3 Maxim is definitely a character I enjoy writing a lot, especially their growing trust in each other. At some point soon you'll hopefully be able to see their gifts working together and see more of Maxim's gift. You'll find out about what Caesar said to Stefan in a bonus chapter, so you won't have to wonder forever! As for your question about sibling bonds: they're a bit different from mate bonds, in that with mate bonds one would definitely feel/sense if the other has died, while sibling bonds do not work in that way. However, Demetri knew exactly when Felix died because Felix would no longer be track-able by Demetri's gift, if that makes sense, and since Demetri was actively tracking him at the time, well... So in that same way, Edward cannot feel Rowan's pain or anything like that, but he's way more protective and close to her than a normal vampire, such as Renata, would be because of their bond. Thank you for your review, please stay safe and healthy as well! :)**

**hauntedpumpkin56: Thank you! I appreciate your kind words! :)**

**surgeonlaw: None of them are really catching much of a break, are they? I really do feel bad for torturing them, but the story must go on! And we _all_ want Stefan and Doyle to die. Especially me. :P**

**Alright guys, that's really all I've got for you this time around! Don't forget to drop a comment letting me know your thoughts on this chapter, as I read and appreciate them all! I love you all and I will chat with you soon!**


	20. 019

"What?" Caesar said, incredulous. "Did you not hear me? We have two weeks. I have two weeks to ensure you're battle ready and determine the strategy that will play best to our side's favor. We have not the time nor the need to go to Volterra."

"Maybe we don't have the time, but I have to get you to Volterra, you and Hugo both. Because if I don't, and my coven doesn't know who their allies are, they'll kill you just as if you were any other from Vladimir and Stefan's army. Perhaps even Hugo, too."

Caesar fell silent, lips pursed. "It's a risk we'll have to take. Our absence would not go unnoticed and they would not welcome us back."

"Sure, if we snuck away without telling anyone. So we persuade them to send us instead," I said.

"How?" was Caesar's next, anticipated question. The problem was, I did not have an answer for him.

"I'm not sure. I just realized the necessity of the trip myself, so it's not as if I've had an excess of time to iron out the details."

"Perhaps not, but if you're certain about this, then we need to come up with a plan, and quickly. The next strategy meeting I'm due to attend is at five-thirty, roughly an hour and a half from now."

"There has to be a way to persuade them to let us all go," I murmured, running a hand through my hair. "We can't sneak out, because it would implicate not only you and Hugo, but Maxim as well, and he'd have to remain here in order to keep his cover. It wouldn't make any sense for him to come with us."

"Right," Caesar agreed. "The most important battle decisions tend to happen shortly before the actual battle, when we have as much information as we possibly can, and I need to be there during that period. So our visit would have to be within the next three days, and couldn't last more than a day, maximum."

"We couldn't pose as a spy mission. They don't need spies, since they have the queens, and we'd have to provide them with some sort of information on returning," I said. "And they'd never risk sending Hugo as a_\- Hugo_." A lightbulb flickered inside my head.

Caesar heard my change in tone. "What?"

"Hugo is their secret weapon. But he's not much of a weapon if he doesn't want to kill anyone. It's no doubt they know that he's still reluctant to fight in the ring, much less use his gift against others. So what if you suggest taking him to Volterra - well, close to it, anyway - and showing him what we're supposed to be fighting against? Say you'll tell Hugo about all the awful things the Volturi have done in view of the city, since kids work best with object lessons."

"But that leaves out you."

"Hugo's my assignment, and I've proven myself in the ring. You said Ana attends the meetings too, doesn't she? She may not like it, but she could attest to it. I'd be added protection."

"It's risky," Caesar said. "There's a good chance they'll want me here. But at the same time, with the added benefit of _observing _the city…"

"Is it doable?" I pressed. I would not risk Caesar and Hugo's lives, not after Felix had already been killed before the battle had even begun, certainly not when it could be prevented.

He ruffled a hand through his hair, red eyes troubled. "Possibly. If we're lucky. It depends on how desperate Stefan and Vladimir are to convince Hugo. If they've marked it off, it'll be impossible. But if they still believe that he can be persuaded, then we may have a chance."

"We have to try. I won't have you killed by our own people, Caesar. I won't," I said, jaw set.

"We'll need a back-up plan, if things go awry and we're forced to stay here. Hugo is easier to spot, as he's the only child in the Romanian army. But they'll need something distinctive to be able to distinguish me from the others."

"Like a crest?" I asked, struck with a sudden thought.

"Ideally, yes. Except for the small matter that we don't happen to possess one," Caesar said.

"You don't, but I do. If we can't get to Volterra, I'll give you my crest to wear. It's one of a kind, any member of the Volturi will know whose it is and what it signifies," I said.

"I think it may be wise to have crests for myself - and Hugo, if possible - regardless of if we make it to Volterra or not," Caesar said. "Not all of the Volturi's forces will see me on my visit, that's far too dangerous. Hugo and I have already sworn our loyalty to you; that alone is enough of a cause for us to be given crests."

"So we have a plan?" I asked. "I mean, you're the war strategist, after all."

"We have a plan," he confirmed. "You're quite the strategist yourself. Give it a few centuries and even I would be worried about going up against you. Not that I ever would."

"I should hope not, after all we've been through," I said, grinning at him.

He offered me a small smile in response and checked his watch. "We still have forty-five minutes before you're set to meet Maxim to train your gift. Make sure you bring him up to speed of what is going on. Until then, however…"

"You're going to kick my ass and call it training?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

Caesar smirked. "Something like that, yes."

When we met less than an hour later, the date of the battle was the first thing I said to Maxim. "June fifth."

"August twenty-second," he said in response.

I stared at him blankly. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry, I thought we were just saying random days," he deadpanned. "Don't worry, I knew what you meant. Feels much more real now that there's a date attached to this battle, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does," I agreed. "There's a strategy meeting in half an hour that we're going to listen in on. Caesar and I have made a plan to get he, I, and Hugo to Volterra."

"Why the hell would you want to do that?" he asked sharply. "It could blow our whole cover."

"It won't," I said, pretending to ignore his tone. "The kings along with the higher guard need to know what Caesar and Hugo look like so they won't just kill them on sight. Especially since it will be obvious that Caesar is higher in the ranks."

"Makes sense, I suppose. But don't you have a burner phone? Just take a picture."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, and I would have done that first thing if the burner phone _had _a camera. But it doesn't, so we're on plan B."

He raised an eyebrow. "Let me get this straight - plan A was a plan that you couldn't even enact to begin with? You _started _on plan B?"

"It's a figure of speech, smartass," I said. "Aren't we supposed to be training?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. What time is that meeting of theirs, again?"

"Five-thirty, which gives us," I checked my watch, "twenty-five minutes."

"We'll work on using your gift today. After a few more days - because that's all we can really spare - we'll begin using our gifts against each other in mock fights. Understand?"

"Seems straightforward enough," I said, though the thought of allowing my gift to be used offensively as it so much wanted was a little unsettling.

"You already look nervous," Maxim said, arms folded across his chest. "And I can feel your fear rising."

"I can't help it!" I snapped. "If I slip up and my gift takes over, our whole cover is blown."

"I understand that," he said, remarkably calm, "but you keep forgetting that you control your gift. It does not, and should not, control you."

"The shadows have always been somewhat sentient, even when I was human."

"They're not. Your gift appears that way because it can be controlled by your subconscious or instincts, even now. And it's your instincts, aggravated by your fears and your heightened newborn emotions, that command your shadows when you lose control."

"But they whisper to me." I wasn't entirely sure why I told him this. It was something I hadn't told anyone else, not even my mates.

"You only hear what you are already thinking and feeling. Your brain creates what it wants to hear," Maxim said. "And if you cannot control your feelings and impulses, your instincts and fears will continue to rule your gift."

"How do I regain control, then?" I asked.

"Practice. You must use it and learn to not be afraid of it. And as I said yesterday, meditate. Mastery of self, mastery of gift."

"So I have two weeks to get a grip. Great," I said, angry at myself more than anything. Angry that I was too week to even control my own gift.

"Very few vampires have the sort of self-discipline it takes to truly master their gifts, especially when it comes to gifts as volatile and reactive as ours," Maxim stated. "When I was a newborn, my gift would lash out as well. If I became too angry, I could kill humans and incapacitate vampires from fear alone. Until I learned control, I was just as afraid of my gift as you were."

"How long did it take for you to master your gift?" I asked.

There was a brief pause before Maxim said, "Twelve years. But I had no one to help me. David, my protégé, mastered his gift within a year thanks to my help."

"I hope you have a crash-course version, then, because we have fourteen days," I said.

"Which is why we need to get started. First things first, conceal us both within shadow. I have yet to experience this facet of your gift firsthand."

Maxim worked with me through the different elements of my gift. Now that I knew the shadows were controlled by me, my subconscious, it was easier to identify why my control slipped. But it didn't _stop _my lack of control. Any thoughts of the enemy and my gift lashed out. I had nearly injured Maxim more than once.

"It's bad, isn't it?" I asked him, after he called for me to stop. The shadows receded, snapping at his heels.

Maxim frowned. "It's worse than I thought."

"You said your gift was the last resort, but-"

"No," he said sharply. "Not yet. If there's no progress by the day before the battle, we'll do it then. For now, we need to listen to this meeting Caesar is part of."

It was obvious there would be no arguing with him. Wordlessly, I brought the shadows up and around us, focusing on Caesar. His voice floated through the shadows.

_"-except for the small problem that the boy you've chosen to go up against the witch twins refuses to use his gift for harm."_

_"We'll let Doyle have another go at him, then. One way or another, he'll be convinced," _Vladimir said.

_"With all due respect, master, I don't see that working. If the first session wasn't successful, who's to say the second will, or the third?" _I recognized Ana's voice. _"If the boy refuses to fight, then we need a backup plan. My gift is similar enough to Jane's, if I could get close enough I could take them both down. It's well-known the twins stay close."_

_"We need you out of the way of the battle to keep us informed about what's going on. The Italian scum won't be able to foresee our attacks or overhear our plans," _Stefan said. His voice made my skin crawl, and the shadows surrounding Maxim and I grew restless.

_"If I may suggest an alternate solution? One that may convince the boy to fight for us, seeing how violence has not worked in the past?" _Caesar asked.

_"Let's hear your plan, Caesar," _Athenodora said. _"After all, Vladimir, not all problems can be solved with a heavy hand."_

_"Thank you, Lady Athenodora. Perhaps a trip outside these walls to catch a glimpse of what we're facing, paired with stories of the Volturi's savagery, would be a more effective method of persuasion. Children learn through object lessons, after all."_

_"Go on," _Vladimir said.

_"I take the boy to Italy to see the Volturi's stronghold. We wouldn't come close to its walls, so there'd be no chance of discovery. Tell him of how the Volturi have wronged vampirekind. Let him see for himself how they sit in their castle and send others to fight for them rather than doing any sort of work themselves."_

_"And would Cullen be on this trip of yours?" _Stefan asked.

_"Yes. I know you will say my partiality blinds me, master, but allow me to elaborate why it is a wise course of action," _Caesar said.

Stefan started speaking, but Vladimir cut him off. _"I'm intrigued by your idea, Caesar, and I'm half inclined to allow it so long as you're not gone more than a day. Why is Cullen a necessity?"_

_"One reason is that, as her assignment, the boy is her responsibility. He trusts her, and with her backing my stories, he'll be more inclined to join us. However, the second reason is her combat abilities. I do not exaggerate when I say she is a natural, even holding her own against Doyle. Ana can attest to this. And should the Volturi somehow become aware of our presence, I feel there is a much higher chance of the boy's safe return with another capable fighter in our company."_

_"Ana, is this true?" _Sulpicia asked.

_"Yes. She even came close to beating Xander once. I've never seen anything like it during my time in the ring," _Ana conceded. _"If Caesar feels an additional companion to be necessary, Cullen would be a wise choice."_

_"I can see the logic behind your reasoning, Caesar. I approve your plan, but only with the stipulation I've previously mentioned. You are to be gone no more than twenty-four hours, as your presence here is essential. Sam and Doyle, however, can work in your absence," _Vladimir said. _"What say you, Stefan?"_

_"I suppose you can be spared for a day," _Stefan said. _"You, Cullen, and the boy may travel to Italy. If your attempt to persuade the boy is not successful, however, Vladimir and I will act as we see fit to ensure his cooperation."_

_"Understood," _Caesar said crisply. _"What time should we depart?"_

_"Midnight," _Vladimir said. _"I have faith in you, Caesar. Do not fail us."_

_"No, master."_

I let the shadows melt away now that the plan Caesar and I had concocted was secured.

Maxim was staring at me, impressed. "Well I'll be damned. It worked."

"Looks like I'm going to Volterra," I said, and couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.

"Careful," Maxim warned. "You see your mates, the bond forms fully. The pain of the bond that you feel will be worse when you return."

"No worse than what they've been feeling this whole time," I pointed out.

"True. You realize, however, that you cannot let them see you?" Maxim asked. "Because if they do…"

"They would never let me leave again," I finished his trailing sentence. "I didn't think of that."

"It may be easier for you to not enter the city at all," Maxim said.

"No. I have to see them. I know it'll make the pain of the bond worse, but it'll help me remember why I'm here," I said.

"The bond is a powerful thing for a vampire," he warned. "You've only ever experienced it as a human. If you're not careful, you'll reveal yourself unintentionally."

"I can do this, Maxim," I said.

He eyed me. "I can see you're determined. I suppose we'll find out if that's enough."

"I need to tell Hugo the news," I said, checking my watch. It was practically seven already, and Maxim would be expected back at his post shortly.

"Don't forget to work on meditation," Maxim said. "Be careful out there, and I'll see you at combat training."

"You do the same. See you, Maxim," I said, slipping out of the room. He would wait a few minutes before doing the same, as to not rouse any sort of suspicion.

"You're back," Hugo beamed as I entered his room.

"Yes, and I have news," I said, plopping down on his couch and ruffling his curls.

His eyes brightened with curiosity. "What sort of news?"

"You, Caesar, and I will be going on a trip tomorrow," I said.

"Really? To where?" he asked, bouncing in his seat.

I grinned. "That's for us to know and you to find out."

"Like a surprise?"

"Yeah, exactly like a surprise," I agreed. "Vladimir and Stefan have approved it, but you should keep it quiet. It would draw attention."

"Won't us being gone draw attention anyway?" Hugo asked.

"Good point, smarty pants. But we'll deal with that when it comes, alright? Until then…" I mimed zipping my lips shut, an action Hugo copied. "Good."

Caesar arrived shortly after to relay the news, but I made sure he kept our destination a secret for Hugo's sake. A visit to Volterra would be exactly the thing to lift his spirits, which were waning the longer we stayed within the clutches of the Romanians.

I also decided to keep the news of our trip from the kings; they would find out soon enough, and the less time they had to consider how to keep me within the castle, the greater my chances to slip out again with Caesar and Hugo. I could only hope that Alice would be wise enough to keep the information of our visit to herself.

I did, however, let them know of the date of the battle.

"Caesar told me they've decided on a date," I told the three. "June fifth."

"We'll have to ask Alice when she returns if she can see a location, now that the date has been settled," Aro said.

"Has she been gone all day?" I asked, relieved. No chances for her to mention my decision to visit Volterra.

"Yes, they still refuse human blood. But it doesn't seem to weaken them, at least not perceptibly, so it shouldn't give them any disadvantage in the battle," Caius said. "Your father actually beat Santiago in a spar the other day; it was quite impressive."

"Not that you'd ever tell him that," I said, grinning.

Caius chuckled. "Correct."

"Has Caesar mentioned anything about a location, _tesoro_?" Marcus asked.

"No. I'll ask when I see him next," I said. Tomorrow, they'd be able to ask him themselves, a thought which filled me with giddiness. I could almost fool myself into thinking that we were returning for good, that nothing was wrong. Almost.

"Good, please do," Aro said. "Is there any other news?"

"Not currently," I said. "Maxim has been working on me to better control my gift so I'll be ready to use it in the battle."

"How is he faring among the Romanians?" Aro asked.

"Excellent. He makes a skilled double-agent; his naturally surly personality and what they know of his gift means they suspect nothing at all," I said. "If I didn't already know he was an ally, he'd have me fooled, too."

"I knew he was the right choice," Aro said, voice smug.

I grinned in amusement. "He absolutely was. I think our gifts will end up working well together."

"I agree, as both of your gifts have a tendency to be perceived as evil - though neither darkness nor fear are anything more than parts of life," Marcus said.

I was tempted to ask about Maxim's gift, to know what exactly he was so determined to keep from me, but I kept silent. I wanted Maxim to trust and respect me, and he would do neither if I went behind his back to get information about him.

Instead, I made my goodbyes to the three a little early. "Caesar wants to speak with Hugo and I right at eleven, which is his free hour, so I need to be back in the castle before then to make sure Hugo gets there in time."

"We understand," Marcus said. "You will be safe?"

"As safe as I can," I promised. I could offer them nothing more. "Two weeks, and then it's over."

"Two weeks," Caius murmured. "We will win this war. For you."

"For everyone," I corrected. "For Felix."

"You'll have your revenge," Aro said. "Two more weeks, and it's yours."

"They will be very sorry," I said. Sorry for far more than just Felix's murder. Sorry for everything they had done that I could not tell my mates about.

They'd be sorry.

"I have to go," I said, checking my watch. "Love you all."

We said our goodbyes, and I sent a text to Alice requesting she keep any visions about me to herself before I hurried back to the castle, arriving back in Hugo's bedroom only five minutes before we were set to go visit Caesar. I had no doubt he wanted to discuss our journey. We made our way to Caesar's quarters at a human pace.

"Good, you're here. There's some things we need to discuss before tomorrow," Caesar said when I opened the door. "Does Hugo know where we're going yet, Rowan?"

I made sure the door was securely shut before speaking. "Hugo, we're going to Volterra."

"For real?" Hugo demanded, looking thrilled.

"For real. I got approval just fifteen minutes ago for us to leave at any time between now and midnight, as this is considered my free hour. Before we go, there are some things you both need to know."

"Go on," I urged, eager to leave as soon as possible.

"First, it's wisest if you remain within the shadows for the entire duration of our trip," Caesar told me. "The last thing we need is for you to be prevented from leaving, even if it's believed to be in your best interest."

"I was planning on it anyway," I said.

"Good. Second, under no circumstance will Hugo or I be making skin-to-skin contact with Aro in any way. At first I was inclined to allow him to see my memories, if only for the intel I possess-"

"Aro is gifted?" Hugo interrupted.

"Yes. He can see all your thoughts and memories with just a touch. But due to the knowledge you and I have of what Rowan's experienced while here, Hugo, it's wisest that he makes no physical contact with us. They need a clear head, and our memories will only serve as a distraction. Agreed?" Caesar directed the question at me.

"I agree. And not that I don't trust Aro, of course, but it may be wisest if I write that request down for you to give to him. You should both wear gloves as well, just in case," I said.

Caesar nodded his agreement. "Good thinking. We'll have to pick some up for us along the way."

"Is there anything else before we leave?" I asked, the question just as much for me as it was the other two.

"What do we do if Aro tries to read our thoughts anyway?" Hugo asked, wringing his hands.

"I fully believe he will respect Rowan's wishes, Hugo, but if he does not-"

"I'll step in," I interjected.

"Absolutely not. You're pushing it by just being in their _presence_. They'll no doubt notice the shift in the bond, how it will have become suddenly less painful. Under no circumstance are you to reveal yourself to them," Caesar said sternly. "If Aro does choose to take matters into his own hands, however, I will take care of it. Though I believe Marcus or Caius would step in before it reached that point, anyhow."

"Alright," I agreed reluctantly, though I had very little intention to actually listen to Caesar. If things started going south, I would intercede.

"No more questions?" Caesar asked, looking towards Hugo, who shook his head. "Good. Since that's the case, we leave now."

We stopped outside the castle to retrieve my crest and burner, all three of us hidden in the shadows, before we began our run back to Volterra.

Back home.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**They're going back to Volterra, yay! What do you think is in store for them there? Will Rowan reveal herself, either accidentally or on purpose? Stick around for the next update to find out! In the meantime, leave a comment letting me know what you thought of this chapter! As always, a big thanks to all those who have left comments on the previous chapters, you guys rock! Here are some replies to those comments:**

**lxslbrn: So glad I managed to make it as part of your quarantine addiction, haha! I love writing Hugo's relationship with Rowan and I'm so excited to get to write him truly interacting with the kings. I think you all will really enjoy that. As for the wedding... I can't say much about it, but you will be getting to read it. Thank you for reviewing!**

**LovelyFantasies: Well thank you for reviewing! As writers, we LOVE getting reviews, no matter how short! I'm so glad you've enjoyed Rowan's journey and I hope you stick around for what's still in store!**

**cxrclet: ******Wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading Tenebrous and Penance (and in basically one sitting, that's impressive)! Yeah, I think I've made a lot of enemies when I went and killed off Felix, my bad. It _is _war, though. Thank you so much for your support and kind words, I really appreciate it! I hope you continue to enjoy my work 3  
****

****To my regular reviewers, know that I appreciate your reviews so so much! I try to reply to a variety of different users each update, if possible, so just because I haven't responded doesn't mean I am any less thankful for the time you took to leave your thoughts.****

****Anyways guys, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this past chapter! You all are awesome, so remember to be safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves! Until next chapter!****


	21. 020

When we stopped just outside the walls of Volterra, it was still dark. The near-full moon, close to setting, bathed us in gentle light, and something within me settled as the city came within our view. We had lost a little time getting gloves for Caesar and Hugo and paper for me to write a note on for the kings. Caesar had the note tucked safely in his pocket, and both he and Hugo were already wearing the gloves we had bought.

"You should text your guardsman now, and one of them can escort us into the city. Otherwise we run the risk of being killed for infringing on their territory," Caesar said after he called for us to halt a mile outside the city.

"Good plan," I agreed, pulling out the burner and powering it on. "Request a new burner for me, please? This one is almost dead, and I don't exactly have anywhere to charge it."

"Certainly," Caesar said. "After you get in contact with one the guard, you should conceal yourself fully within the shadows so that you remain undetected."

"Noted," I said. My mind had been shielded since before we departed so that Demetri wouldn't know of our movements and alert the kings. Grief ripped through me when I saw Felix's name among my contacts, my eyes lingering on his name for a moment before I continued down to Santiago's number, sending him a text stating that Caesar and Hugo were waiting a mile outside Volterra.

He responded almost instantly. _On my way. You with them?_

_No_, I sent in response. I wished I could tell him the truth, but it was too big a risk.

"Santiago is on his way," I told Caesar and Hugo before pulling the shadows over me, becoming one with the night.

It wasn't long, perhaps another half-minute, before Santiago arrived, accompanied by Afton. I felt a rush of relief knowing that Afton appeared unharmed despite me having escaped Volterra under his watch.

"So you're Caesar," Santiago said, appraising Caesar critically. Santiago was several inches taller than Caesar, but there was no denying the powerful aura that Caesar seemed to naturally exude.

"Santiago, I presume?" Caesar asked, eyes pinned on Santiago. Hugo shifted a little behind Caesar, intimidated by the two Volturi guard.

"That would be me. This is Afton," Santiago said, gesturing towards Afton. "Guess we owe you a thank you for keeping the queen alive."

"No thanks necessary," Caesar said. "We're here to speak to the kings."

"I thought as much. Wish Rowan would have told us you were coming before now," Santiago said. "She's really not here?"

"No," Caesar said. "We thought it wisest she stay behind. This was something of a last-minute decision."

"They won't notice your absence?" Santiago asked.

Caesar grinned, though the expression did not reach his eyes. "We got permission. A plan devised by Rowan, who is becoming quite the strategist."

"She escaped Volterra, there's no 'becoming' a strategist about it. Clearly she's always been one," Santiago said.

Behind him, Afton shifted guiltily. "We should bring them to the kings, Santiago. They wouldn't be here without good reason, I'm sure."

"We'd prefer not to be killed by our allies in battle," Caesar said, smiling dryly, "and with Hugo and I on a bit of a time crunch, it would be best to speak to the kings as soon as possible."

"Follow us, then," Santiago said. The four began running towards the city, with me ghosting unseen beside them. It was strange being back in the city like this.

It was even stranger walking into the castle, cloaked in shadow, the mate bond settling as it sensed my mates nearby. The castle was bustling with activity, and my eyes widened with surprise when I saw Carlisle and Jasper walking down the hall. I had known my family was here, of course, but it was slightly surreal actually seeing it for myself.

Santiago pushed the doors open with ease, and steeling my nerve, I followed in behind them.

"Santiago, Afton, who do you bring to us?" My eyes snapped to Aro, who had spoken, and the mate bond that had been so weak as a human finally sprang to life. It was Caius my eyes settled on next, my instincts roaring for me to take action, to go to him, and I took several steps forward. My eyes snapped to Marcus, the strength of the three bonds now smashing into me full-force, and I fell to my knees.

Marcus was staring straight at me, looking staggered, and I thought the shadows around me had dissolved as the mate bond had solidified, but no; they still swirled around me, reacting to the presence of my mates, more docile than they had ever been.

This all happened within the span of a second or two, Santiago's voice jerking me back to reality as he and Afton stepped aside. "Caesar and Hugo have come, Master Aro."

"Rowan requested I give this to you, though she is not here," Caesar said, taking the note from his pocket and passing it to Aro. "It contains a request that the thoughts of Hugo and I remain our own for the time being."

"How can we be certain it is genuine?" Caius asked, leaning forward on his throne. "Do you have something to hide?"

"Peace, brother. It is genuine," Aro said softly. Caius was at his side in a second, snatching the paper from him.

"Genuine," Caius said, tucking the note into a pocket of his robe. "Though it contains no explanation as to _why _your gift is not to be used, Aro."

"We should respect her wishes," Marcus said. He tore his gaze away from where I was standing - could he see me with his bondsight? - to look instead at his brothers. "I am sure she would not ask such a thing if it were not with our best interests in mind."

"I quite agree," Aro said, sighing wistfully. "Though the insight you could provide, Caesar, would be invaluable."

"I will tell you anything you wish to know," Caesar said. "As to answer your question, Caius-"

"_Master_ Caius," Caius hissed. I sighed silently; his ego was unchanged from the last time I had seen him.

Caesar appraised him coolly. "Do not forget I am far older than you. I serve Rowan because she has won my respect and allegiance. And as much regard as she has for you, I find it far better to make my own judgements. Do not forget it is I, and _your_ mate, who are currently risking our lives for information that could save yours. Therefore, I will address you however I like."

Anger flashed in Caius' eyes. "You dare use our mate as an excuse to-"

"He is right," Marcus interjected. "We are fortunate he has chosen to side with us at all, Caius. He is not one of our guard and is free to call us by our names."

Caius snapped his mouth shut, looking indignant, and Aro took the opportunity to speak. "Please excuse Caius, Caesar. What Marcus said is true, and you have done much to protect our mate. And though I am disappointed to not get a look at your memories, you have our trust for as long as you continue to guard our mate, seeing as we, at present, cannot."

"It is my honor to do so," Caesar said. "Do know that it is nothing personal, but rather a respect for Rowan's privacy. It is not the place of Hugo or I to tell you of certain things that have happened with the Romanians. It is for her to tell, and her only, whenever she is ready."

Caius looked murderous. "If she has been harmed, Caesar, we deserve to know, so that as her mates we can raid that damned Romanian castle and kill the vermin ourselves!"

"Do not worry. She is well, and at present she could not be safer," Caesar said calmly.

"You cannot know that for sure," Caius retorted.

"I assure you that I can." A small smirk was playing on the edge of Caesar's lips. I shook my head at him. "And as we could stand here and debate this all day, I suggest we instead move on to discussing the battle."

"Yes, yes," Aro said. "But first, how rude we've been! Hugo, it's so nice to meet you properly. You can come out from behind Caesar, I promise we will not bite, no matter how surly Caius may act."

Hugo smiled shyly. "_Hola_. It's nice to meet you. In person."

"Come here," Marcus requested. Hugo looked like a deer in headlights, much more intimidated now that they were face to face. Still, Hugo walked slowly towards him, looking ready to bolt at the first sign of violence. I couldn't blame him; Vladimir and Stefan had been nothing but cruel to him.

"You're not in trouble," Marcus said, smiling gently at him. "You're looking after Rowan, yes?"

"_Si_," Hugo agreed, looking a little more relaxed.

"I had this made for you once your bond with Rowan solidified. I hadn't planned to give it to you so soon, but I trust you will take good care of it." Marcus pulled a crest out of one of the inner pockets of his robe and slipped it around Hugo's neck. "Wear it well, hmm?"

"_Si_, I will," he promised, examining it with round eyes. I caught a glimpse of it: five stones, with an orange gem at its point. Hugo beamed up at Marcus before scampering back to Caesar, now standing beside instead of behind him. Hugo's chest was puffed out importantly, something I noted with affectionate amusement.

"I think it may be wise for you to carry a crest as well, Caesar," Aro said, not looking surprised at Marcus' gesture. "Under normal circumstances, we'd give you a crest signifying your status as one of the queen's guards, but as we didn't know of your coming beforehand, I'll have Renata fetch you a generic one."

Caesar nodded his approval as Renata slipped out of the room. "I agree. It was one of the things I discussed with Rowan before Hugo and I came here. She also requested a fresh burner, as she has no way to charge hers."

"Consider it done," Aro said, waving a hand towards one of the lower guards that stood against the wall, who departed immediately. "Now, I'm hoping we can take the majority of our time to discuss what you know of the Romanians and their strategy. And perhaps get a demonstration of young Hugo's gift, if he'd be willing."

Tentatively, Hugo nodded. Aro grinned, clapping his hands together, and was about to speak when Caius interrupted. "What would you consider to be the greatest strength of the Romanian coven, at present?"

I wasn't surprised; Caius always had been straight to business.

I heard Renata returning before I saw her, and making a quick decision, slipped through the door she had pushed open before it could slam shut, exiting the throne room in favor of doing the exact thing that Caesar had explicitly told me not to do. The mate bond was already protesting, strained after being gone so long, but I had long grown used to ignoring it.

Instead I went in search of Demetri, and it was only by sheer luck that he was not terribly hard to find. He was in his quarters, which was the first place I thought to look as he wasn't on duty in the throne room.

I steeled my nerve and, seeing that the coast was clear, allowed the shadows to recede, where they pooled around my feet like a discarded cloak. I could hear him in his quarters, pacing, and I hesitated only a moment more before rapping lightly on the door.

"Corin, I've already told you-" Demetri stopped short, face slacking in shock. "Ro-"

I lunged forward, slapping my hand over his mouth and sending us both staggering into his room. I accidentally kicked the door shut in the silent struggle that ensued as Demetri attempted to pry my hand off his face and I struggled to keep him from alerting the entire castle of my presence.

"No one knows I'm here, be quiet!" I hissed, and he finally stilled. "I'm going to remove my hand now. _Please _be quiet."

He nodded, and I slowly withdrew my hand, watching him warily. He was staring at me incredulously. "What are you doing here, Rowan?" he said, so quietly that our conversation could not be overheard.

I responded in the same quiet pitch. "I'm here with Caesar and Hugo. They're in the throne room with the kings. Caesar will be pissed that I let anyone see me, but-"

"The masters don't know you're here?" Demetri asked, interrupting me.

"No, and they can't know. They'd never let me leave if I made myself known here," I said, "and this war isn't over yet. I have to return."

He rubbed a hand down his face, and I realized just how ragged he looked. His hair, normally meticulously kept, was rumpled, and his eyes were black. Guilt crashed over me like a wave; it was my fault he was like this. "I'm sorry, Demetri," I whispered.

"Sorry?" he echoed. "For what? You left because you felt like you had to, and it was probably the right decision."

"No, that's not- that's not what I meant," I said. I had imagined this situation so many times in my head, and now that I was here, facing him, I had no idea what to say.

"Then what _do _you mean?" he asked.

"Felix," I said, feeling even more remorseful when he flinched at the name. "I could have saved him, but I didn't. I could have-"

"It's not your fault," he interrupted, voice so soft that even with my vampiric hearing I had to strain to hear him. "I could never blame you. If you had stepped in, you probably would have died, too, and then where would we be? It's not your fault, Rowan."

I just looked at him, realizing that he and I were more alike than we had ever been; two shells, wrecked by war and the grief that came with it. I touched his shoulder briefly, a fruitless attempt at comfort. "It's not yours, either."

"You're different," he said, and I knew he had seen the crescent scars that peeked above my collar and the solitary bite on my neck, just below my jawline.

I gave him a tiny, sad smile. "So are you."

"Not in the way I meant. You've lost a part of yourself, and I would know, because I've lost that part, too," he said.

I understood what he meant, even though I could never hope to put it into words. "It's war, Dem."

"And afterwards we must piece what is left of ourselves back together," he said. "But we never forget what we have seen, what we have done, to survive. The greatest loss in war is innocence, and that is something we can never get back."

"But we can punish those who have stolen it from us," I said. "It was Vladimir."

"What?"

"Vladimir was the one who gave the order," I said. "He was the one who lowered the torch. You want revenge, you kill him."

"Thank you," he said, his eyes bright with some wild fervor. I wondered if my choice to tell him was wise.

The burner in my pocket buzzed. Brow furrowed, I pulled it out. It was a text from Alice.

_If you want to escape unseen, you need to hide now._

"I have to go," I said. Even now I could hear the footsteps outside in the hall.

Demetri nodded and clasped my shoulder. "Be careful. I will see you again."

"See you soon, Demetri," I whispered, and his hand dropped as I let the shadows of his room envelop me.

There was a knock on Demetri's door, and as soon as it opened, I slipped out past Alec, who had come to summon Demetri to the throne room. As soon as Aro touched him, he would know I was here.

_Shit._

I practically flew back to the throne room, going so fast that I couldn't quite stop in time outside the closed doors. But instead of slamming into them, I stumbled right through them, the shadows still intact around me.

That's new.

Hugo had the kings distracted, demonstrating his gift, and I let the shadows reach out around Caesar's ear. That way, he could hear me. I hoped.

"We need to go," I said.

The only indication of his surprise was a slight flinch that went unnoticed by the rest of the room, who were still enthralled by Hugo's impressive displays. Caesar tilted his head, a silent question. I noticed he was now wearing a crest, the inlaid garnet glittering in the light.

"I went to see Demetri. Aro has called him to the throne room. The second Aro touches Demetri's hand…" I trailed off.

Caesar gave me a tiny nod, showing he understood, though he did not look particularly happy. The tiny bit of shadow that was around his ear receded as he addressed Aro.

"I'm afraid that we will need to depart," Caesar said, sounding regretful. "We're expected back soon and will need to leave in order to make it back in time."

The doors to the throne room opened now, later than I expected; Demetri must have been working to buy us time. "You summoned me, master?" Demetri asked.

"Yes, but unfortunately Caesar and Hugo must depart once more for Romania. However, I'd like you to-" Aro abruptly cut off, stepping closer to Demetri, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled. "She's here."

Son of a _bitch!_

Caius was on his feet, snarling at Caesar. "Our mate is here and you _kept _it from us?"

Aro grabbed Demetri's hand, and I knew I had mere seconds to act before all hell broke loose. So I darted forward, doing the only thing I could think of, and the shadows pulled Hugo and Caesar back into their embrace.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**I call this one "I rewrite Tenebrous chapter 1 to the tune of Penance". So yeah, there were several parallels between this chapter and the first chapter of Tenebrous. There are some major differences, of course, but lots of similarities as well, which has made this chapter once of my favorites of Penance to write thus far. What did you think of Rowan's conversation with Demetri? What do you think will happen with the kings knowing for certain that she is in Volterra? Will they be able to return to Romania, or will they be caught (or will Rowan end up revealing herself after all)? Let me know what you think will happen in the comments!**

**Big thanks to all those who have taken the time to review, I really appreciate every one of you! Here's some responses to the previous chapter's reviews:**

**Mystea Wolfe: Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying Rowan's story and I hope you loved this chapter!  
**

**lxslbrn: Thank you! You're absolutely right, Rowan would definitely step in if she felt like Caesar was being threatened by the kings. Of course, you see at the end of this chapter that she does a bit of the opposite by hiding her, Caesar, and Hugo instead of revealing herself, but it still counts as "getting involved". Thank you for your review, I really appreciate it!**

**LovelyFantasies: I hope this chapter with her return didn't disappoint! She didn't directly interact with the kings, but you did get to see her reunion with Demetri (not on the same level, though, but hopefully better than nothing). I missed writing my favorite tracker. I'm so glad you love my story, it means so much and I hope you continue to enjoy it!**

**Fun fact: the end of this chapter, with the kings actually finding out that she was in Volterra while she's still there (and hidden) wasn't actually planned. But I found that it worked very well and I'm incredibly pleased with it. Anyway, thank you all for reading and please don't forget to drop me a comment letting me know what you think! Stay safe, healthy, and I'll chat with you all in the next update!**


	22. 021

The stillness that succeeded my actions lasted only as long as it took those present to get over their shock; that is, the stillness ended almost as quickly as it began. It was replaced by total chaos.

I really don't know what I expected.

Aro and Caius were shouting - at me or the guard, perhaps both - as was Caesar, though it was clear his shouting was aimed directly at me.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking, Rowan? For someone who's not a half-bad strategist, I truly question your decision-making. How are we supposed to get out of here?"

"Oh, come on!" I said, grabbing both Hugo's and Caesar's arms and tugging them towards the main doors, which Caius had ordered were to remain closed. Praying it would work, I dragged them both straight into the door, and we passed right through to the other side.

"That is _so cool_!" Hugo enthused. "I didn't know you could do that!"

"Kind of a new thing," I said. "Sorry about this, Caesar, but I had to talk to Demetri. Aro calling for him wasn't part of the plan."

"No _shit_!" Caesar snapped. "We need out of here."

"Follow me," I ordered. Caesar hefted Hugo onto his back, seeing as Hugo was the slowest of the three of us, and I led us through the halls towards the front exit. We passed through the wall like it was nothing and I could feel my shadows immediately starting to dissipate as the sun hit.

"Over here!" I said, dragging Caesar under the first shaded spot I could find. "This is bad."

"Oh, you think?" Caesar asked sarcastically, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The second you drop these shadows, the tracker knows where we are. You drop the shadows out here and the secret is blown."

"Just let me think," I said, tugging him farther back into the shade of the building, where Hugo dropped off his back. It was mid-morning, and Volterra was buzzing with tourists.

Caesar glanced back towards where we had come. "It won't be long until they realize we're not in the throne room anymore."

"Why are we running?" Hugo asked.

"Because if the kings see me, they won't let me leave. They want me safe," I explained.

"Oh," he said, kicking at the cobblestone road. "Because you're their mate?"

"Right." I looked around, thinking quickly. "I have a bad idea."

Caesar raised an eyebrow. "Is that not what all of your ideas have been up until this point?"

"Shut up. We're going to use the tourists' shadows to get out of here," I said.

"That is so much worse than what I was expecting," Caesar muttered. "We should just wait until nightfall."

"That will be plan B," I said. "Let's go."

We darted through the streets, and I relied on Caesar to ensure Hugo was keeping up, my entire focus on keeping enough shadow around us to be concealed. The shadows cast by pedestrians and the buildings was just enough that the sun wasn't able to burn through what surrounded the three of us.

"Stop, stop," I said, skidding to a halt as we reached the exit of the city, the three of us huddled under the shade of the wall.

"Shit," Caesar said. Between us and the shade of the forest was two miles of open valley.

"We can't stay in the city," I said. "It's too risky. Once we reach the trees, we can hide there until nightfall."

"We run the risk of being seen if we go now," Caesar said, frowning.

"How long do you think it will take to get over there?" I asked, looking up at the sky.

"Fifteen seconds, perhaps? Give or take a few seconds," Caesar said after a moment's deliberation.

"When that cloud goes over the sun, we run," I said, pointing towards one of the large white clouds that was slowly drifting towards the sun.

"This is a bad idea," Caesar muttered.

"It's worked before," Hugo said confidently. "It'll work again."

I grinned and ruffled his hair. "Thanks, Hugo."

Caesar looked like he wanted to ask but thought the better of it. "If you're certain."

"This will work," I said, grimacing as the bond flared painfully.

Caesar eyed me with concern. "Perhaps it would be better for you to see the kings after all."

"Why?" I asked suspiciously. "I thought we were agreement that no one was to see me."

Above us, the cloud inched slowly over the sun. Caesar frowned. "I'm concerned about adverse effects."

The cloud passed fully over the sun and I had no time to consider Caesar's worries. "Time to go!" I said, pulling as many shadows I could around us and sprinting out into the open field, hearing their footsteps behind me.

It was halfway across the stretch when the sun began to peek out again and three-quarters of the way when the mate bond seized in my chest, more painful than it had ever been, and I staggered, legs failing me.

Caesar cursed, wrapping an arm around my midsection before I could crumple completely and swinging me into his arms without breaking his stride. The sun was quickly burning off the shadows that I had just managed to keep over us through the delirious pain I found myself in. Caesar dove under the cover of the trees just in time for us to be safe from the sun.

The bond flared again and any control I had retained over my gift vanished, the shadows dissipating as I curled into myself, fingers digging so hard into the palms of my hands that I could feel spidering cracks begin to form on my skin.

"Rowan!" Caesar said, setting me down and snapping his fingers in front of my face. "If you want us to escape, you have to hide us, and you have to do it now. Do you understand?"

"Can't, I can't," I gasped. My chest felt like it was burning, a different sort of pain from the turn but equally painful.

"Yes, you can. The pain will lessen once your body adjusts to the bond. Until then you have to think around it," Caesar said.

"You can do it, Rowan," Hugo said, wrapping his arms around me. "I believe in you."

At Hugo's touch, the pain of the bond seemed to lessen minutely. Enough for me to think. I heard footsteps in the trees and Caesar's head snapped up, looking off into the distance, and he lowered into a protective crouch. "Rowan…"

Edward's voice, low and quick, washed over me like a wave of ice water. "I'm her brother, I mean no harm. I'm ahead of the others, but barely. You have to hide. I'll buy you time."

Caesar relaxed minutely. "She's-"

"Edward! Anything?" Santiago's voice, close by.

"Now!" Edward hissed to me urgently, and with tremendous effort, ignoring how my very being screamed with agony, I pulled shadows over the three of us again. Edward called to the others, whom I could now see. Santiago, Alec, and Jasper were with him. "Nothing! I found their scent, but it has vanished again. Rowan is definitely with them!"

"We have to move from here," Caesar said, pulling me to my feet. Hugo reached for my hand and I held it as we ran, keeping him close.

I was slowing us down, but there was nothing Caesar or Hugo could do. It was all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to ignore the searing pain of the bond that pushed me to return to the safety of my mates.

We only stopped when we were forced to, once the forest faded into open fields. "We can't go any farther," Caesar said, looking up at the sky. He checked his watch. "I hate having to wait until nightfall, but we have no choice."

I sat, slumping down against a tree and shutting my eyes despite lacking the ability to sleep. I never thought I'd miss sleeping and the nightmares that came with it, but now there was nothing more that I longed to do. Hugo sat down next to me, leaning into my side. Idly I brushed my hand through his hair, opening my eyes halfway to see Caesar still standing, on guard.

"Sit, Caesar. They won't find us as long as we're hidden," I said.

"I'm just as comfortable standing, and we cannot take too many precautions," Caesar said. "I'd say we're about three hours from the Romanian castle at the rate we're going now. Two if you're able to pick up the pace by the time night comes."

"You were right," I muttered.

"Which time?"

I shot him an exasperated look. "I should have stayed away."

"I tried to tell you," Caesar said. "What I would love to know is whatever possessed you to reveal yourself to the tracker."

"His _name_ is Demetri," I snapped, the pain of the bond making me more irritable than usual, "and Felix was his soul brother."

"I see," he said, unaffected by my tone. "You went to apologize."

"Felix died because of me," I said, defensive. Hugo squeezed my arm comfortingly.

Caesar frowned, kneeling in front of me. "He did not die because of you. There's no guarantee that he would have survived even if you had remained at the castle. His death was not your fault, Rowan, however much it may feel like it. It's survivor's guilt. Mourn for your friend, but do not for one moment believe that his death was your fault."

His crest swung forward, and for a second all I could see was Felix's, ripped off his neck. I blinked hard and I was back in the present. Caesar sighed and stood once more. "It may be wise to call the kings. See if you can convince them to call off the guard."

I pulled the burner out of my pocket. In the tumult that had followed the reveal of my presence in Volterra I hadn't even noticed it buzzing. Twenty-five texts, seventeen missed calls, and eleven voicemails. All from the kings.

"They're probably pissed," I said, staring at the small home screen. I didn't have the mental energy at present to scroll through their furious texts.

"Only because they're desperate," Caesar said, leaning against the tree I was seated against. "They'll forgive you."

"What if I've finally gone to far?" I asked quietly.

"You haven't. Before they were kings, they were warriors and negotiators. They will understand. If not, well…" Caesar flashed a sharp grin. "They are free to answer to me."

Not for the first time, I was very glad that Caesar was not my enemy.

"Me too!" Hugo inputted, fiercely protective of me and not willing to be left out. I smiled slightly.

"Thanks, guys. I'll call," I mumbled, fiddling with the burner. "Did you get me a new phone?"

"Yes," Caesar confirmed. "Do you need it?"

"Still got ten percent on this one," I said as the burner began to buzz. Aro this time. I hesitated until Caesar gave me a pointed look and I answered the phone, my voice small. "Hi."

There were several long seconds of silence, which was perhaps worse than yelling, before all three kings began speaking at once at varying levels of volume. This made the whole call fairly jumbled, but I got the gist.

They were, understandably, very upset. At the very least, Marcus seemed more peeved towards his brothers than me. I held the phone away from my ear and let them rant for several minutes, feeling worse with each passing second.

Caesar, now scowling, motioned for me to give me the phone. I passed it to him hesitantly.

"Get a grip," Caesar spat into the phone, and I buried my head in my hands.

"_Excuse me?_" Caius roared.

"Brother, please," Marcus attempted.

"Perhaps she would still be here if you had mentioned her presence earlier, Marcus," Aro snapped. "You have no right to speak."

"And you do?" Marcus asked, a snarl in his voice. "Do not act as if you would not have forced her to stay in the castle had you been able."

Aro snarled back. "And do not act as if you would not have done the same thing!"

"_Enough!_" Caesar barked, so loudly that both Hugo and I cringed. "You are _kings_, not boys, and _this is war_. While I acknowledge the mate bond is putting you under tremendous stress, you must recognize the necessity of this mission and realize that keeping Rowan prisoner in the castle will lose you this war. If she, a newborn, is wise enough to see that, then I doubt I am requesting too much by asking you to do the same.

"Furthermore, as her adviser, guard, and sire, Rowan was acting under _my_ orders, and I stand by my decision. Your clear inability to think past your own emotions and recognize the necessity of what must be done is enough to assure me that I made the right decision in ordering her to stay hidden. Be angry, by all means, but know that your anger is both wrongly directed and completely unproductive.

"You should be very thankful to have a trustworthy faction within the Romanian coven because without us you would have no chance of winning. I also suggest you be far more grateful for your mate and all she is willing to sacrifice to stay in the lion's den. Because God knows she's sacrificed enough, far more than you have. If you aren't, I can promise that I will see it. I will know. And you will be very sorry.

"Your mate is safe. In the future, I recommend you trust Rowan to make her own decisions. Seeing as you are currently in no state to be speaking with her, and she does not need your rash words on top of all she is already grappling with, I advise you wait for her to call of her own accord. In the meantime, I provided you with plenty of strategic intel that you no doubt need to work into your attack plan. Focus on winning this war. Goodbye."

And then he crushed the phone in his grip.

I stared at him openmouthed. "Caesar, what-"

"They were out of line," he said, folding his arms over his chest. "Like you are so prone to, they let their instincts cloud their judgement. But unlike you, they are not newborns, and therefore have no excuse for their actions or words. If they were younger, perhaps I would be more lenient, but they have existed long enough to control their impulses. I would not wish to be in their position, unable to protect or even see their mate, but they are kings and lives are on the line. They must look past themselves. It may sound harsh, but it is true."

I was touched by his protectiveness. "Well, thanks. You're lucky that I have all the numbers that were in that phone memorized."

"Yes," he agreed, looking a little abashed. "I'm not sure that anyone knew the number belonging to the new burner, so at least now you have the choice of when to call them."

"They don't dislike us now, right?" Hugo asked anxiously.

"No, of course not," I soothed. "They just let their instincts get the best of them, that's all."

"Promise?" he asked. I found his admiration of the kings to be endearing and smiled.

"Yes, I promise." I wrapped an arm loosely around his shoulders. The pain of the bond had began to ebb somewhat, but I was still acutely aware of it. It was no longer something I could ignore; it was just as prominent as my thirst. Hugo, fortunately, was an easy distraction.

"Look at my crest!" He lifted it out from under his hoodie to show it to me. Five stones, just as I had remembered earlier. Four were familiar because they were also on my crest: Onyx, ruby, and emerald, the kings' chosen gems, and opal for me. The fifth, at the point of the crest, was a brilliant orange gem that I couldn't immediately identify.

"Spessartite garnet, I believe," Caesar said thoughtfully. "Your gem is the opal, Rowan, is it not? Interesting that Hugo's crest contains the kings' stones as well."

"Which is which, again?" Hugo asked, tracing the gems with a finger.

"Onyx for Aro, ruby for Caius, and emerald for Marcus," I said. I had told him this before, but Hugo was just as forgetful as any other child, and I didn't fault him for it.

"I remember now," Hugo said, tucking the crest back under his hoodie. "How long do we have to stay here?"

"Until nightfall," Caesar said. "Rowan, at the very least, will need to hunt before we return to the castle. Constant use of her gift will be draining."

"Trust me, I know," I said. I wasn't tired, and keeping the shadows in place required very little thought, but I could already feel how my thirst had increased since we fled Volterra.

"As you age and grow accustomed to using your gift more frequently, it will not be quite so bad. As it stands now, you've had very little practice using it for an extended period and will pay the price." Caesar's voice was apologetic.

"Why is my gift draining, but Edward's isn't, or Aro's, or Alice's?" I asked.

"The common denominator there is that their gifts do not have a proverbial 'off switch'. Yours, however, is something that you must focus and exert energy to use. For example, I would go so far as to say certain facets of Jasper's gift are the same."

"What about Marcus? His gift is one that can be used at will and he doesn't seem to be affected by it," I pointed out.

"I would place his gift in the same category as Alice's. She does not always see the future, but her gift is always present and active. That is my theory, at least," Caesar said.

"That's so unfair," I grumbled.

"As I said, it will become less and less taxing the more you use it. I suspect, once you reach a few centuries, you'll hardly be affected at all."

"Thinking that far into the future makes my head hurt," I said. My immortality wasn't something that had quite sunk in yet.

Caesar laughed. "It's truly not that far off. Though that may just be my age speaking."

"Old fart," I teased, grinning. Hugo giggled.

He rolled his eyes. "Kids these days. Right, Hugo?"

Hugo looked thrilled at being referred to as an adult. "_Si_!"

I grinned, and realized in that moment that no matter all I had been through, I didn't regret leaving Volterra. Did I miss everyone terribly? Yes, of course. That would not change. But the information I had gathered, along with the little family I had found for myself within the Romanian coven, was worth it.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**To the disappointment of many, I'm sure, Rowan did not end up reuniting (technically) with the kings. While I'm sure it wasn't really a surprise, I don't doubt you're disappointed. But I did give you an Edward cameo and overprotective!Caesar instead, so I hope that's cool. Caesar is the loml, btw. But that's beside the point. What do you think is going to happen during Rowan's last few weeks with the Romanians? Let me know what you think in the comments!**

**Big thanks, as always, to all of you MVPs who did leave a comment, you guys are amazing and I love you. Here are some responses to your comments!**

**Jadeamelia: Thank you! Writing the last chapter (and this one, for that matter) was a lot of fun. It was nice getting to write some familiar faces, especially Demetri, Santiago, and Edward haven't been seen in a hot second. I'm very hyped for the battle and for what is to come in the aftermath. It's going to be great, but that's all I'll say. Can't go giving too much away ;)**

**lxslbrn: Yes, wild, wasn't it! Marcus absolutely knew she was there but he's really the least rash of the kings imo and understands the importance of why she needs to stay hidden. The walking through walls thing is something I've been trying to figure out how to work in for several chapters now, so I'm glad to have finally gotten it in there. Originally she was going to find out through training with Maxim, but that didn't actually end up working out. Thank you for reviewing!**

**seventhhaven: Yeah so objectively the kings know how important it is for her to return, but their instincts would never allow it. Hence their less than pleased reactions (particularly Aro and Caius) to finding out she had been there but didn't reveal herself. Also love Hugo (as does everyone, how could you not?) and Marcus IS such a dad I love it the whole interaction I was just 333**

**interceptor1997: So much went on in the last chapter that it's hard not to have a lot of emotions. I loved writing her and Demetri, I feel like especially now they've become something of kindred spirits and it's just a really different relationship dynamic compared to anyone else. Thank you for reviewing, I am doing well and I hope you are also!**

**Well guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and rest assured that Rowan and the kings will get to have a phone conversation (likely next chapter or the chapter following) about how everything went down. But for now Caesar has them in proverbial time-out. Perpetual dad right there. Thank you all for reading and make sure to let me know what you think. Stay safe and healthy, everyone!**


	23. 022

It was nearly an hour after nightfall when we crossed the Romanian border and Caesar deemed it safe for me to allow the shadows that surrounded us to recede. I did so gratefully, the burn in my throat so strong that I knew my eyes must be pitch black.

"I'll get you a human to feed off from the next town we skirt," Caesar promised when he saw the state of me. "I would suggest animals, but with how thirsty you are your eyes would turn gold on first feeding and it's not something the masters would approve."

"Makes sense," I said. Even as thirsty as I was, the thought of drinking from a deer was not appealing. I would never understand how my family did it.

We came upon the next city fifteen minutes later, and Hugo and I waited well outside it while Caesar went to find me a meal. Despite our decent control, Hugo and I were still newborns and Caesar didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. It was a long half-hour before Caesar returned, an unconscious man slung over his shoulder.

Venom pooled in my mouth and I pounced, blinded by thirst, as soon as Caesar tossed the human down in front of me.

I dropped the human again to the ground when there was nothing left of him to drink, my tongue darting out to lick the last of the blood from my mouth.

"Hugo, would you mind taking care of the body?" Caesar asked.

"Sure," Hugo said, and a second later the body was alight, burning hotter and faster than any fire I had ever seen. Only a couple minutes passed before the body, including the bones, was nothing but ash.

"You've been practicing," Caesar said approvingly. "Well done."

"_Gracias_! Rowan has been helping me during our free time," Hugo said, beaming at his praise.

We took another few minutes to scatter the ashes so they wouldn't be discovered before resuming our journey. We stopped only once more to hide our items - the burners and crests - far away from the castle. I would return later, under the cover of shadows, to relocate them closer to the castle.

"A word of warning, Hugo," Caesar said as I poked around for a decent spot. "You'll likely be asked to prove your loyalty when we arrive back. You must do what they say in order for them to believe this venture has been a success, for your safety and ours. You understand?"

"_Si_," Hugo said, looking nervous.

"Good," Caesar said, nodding in approval.

I stood from where I had crouched to tuck away our things. "We're good to go."

"We best get back, then. Better to be early than late," Caesar said, checking his watch.

The Romanian castle was not yet in view before we were intercepted, one of the perimeter guards dropping out of the trees. It was Xander, who relaxed when he caught full view of our faces.

"Oh, Caesar, it's just you. Thought we had trouble for a minute." Xander tucked his hands in his pockets. "The masters requested one of us escort you back to the throne room as soon as you return. Guess that's me."

"Do the others on border patrol need to be informed of your absence?" Caesar asked. We walked at human pace now, which didn't seem to bother Xander.

"Nah, Maxim's around here somewhere. He'll pick up the slack," he said dismissively. "How was your trip?"

Caesar's answer was brief. "Productive. Did I miss anything of importance?"

"No. Not that I know of, anyway. It's been all quiet here," Xander said, leading us into the castle. After the spacious corridors and soaring rooms of the castle at Volterra, the cramped halls here left me feeling claustrophobic, as if they would close around me at any moment.

"Masters," Xander said, and we all knelt once we reached the middle of the throne room. I hated it and I hated them more than I ever had before. The room darkened further, but no one besides Caesar seemed to notice.

"You may rise," Vladimir said, lounging languidly on his crumbling throne. "I hope your trip was a success, Caesar."

"It was," Caesar said, placing a hand on Hugo's shoulder. "I believe you'll find him quite cooperative now."

"Wonderful," Vladimir said. "Did you run into any trouble?"

"None. We only went as close to the city as to see it in the distance. We were entirely undetected," Caesar said.

"Good, good."

Stefan leaned forward. "I trust Hugo is willing to prove his worth to us?"

"Whatever you ask of him shall be done," Caesar said calmly.

"Who would you say is our weakest link, Caesar?" Stefan asked, standing.

Caesar cocked a brow. "In what way? Do you refer to control, fighting ability, or both?"

"Collectively," Stefan said.

"Antonio," Caesar said after giving it a moment's thought. "Both his control and combat capabilities leave something to be desired."

"Adrian, fetch Antonio and bring him to us," Stefan said, lifting a lazy hand to wave Adrian out of the room.

"Right away, Master," Adrian said, bowing briefly before exiting.

"While we wait, I wonder if you were able to see anything that would give you an idea of how the Volturi are preparing for the battle," Vladimir said, addressing Caesar. "I'd imagine our killing of their brute alerted them to the seriousness of our mission if they weren't already aware."

Anger roared through me, hot and vengeful, and it was only Hugo's slight nudge against my side that prevented me from losing my temper entirely. Two more weeks seemed a long time away when my revenge could be had here and now.

"I was not close enough to get any information of much use," Caesar said, keeping their attention on him so they would not notice my silent rage. "However, I could smell vampires in the area. I'd venture to say that they are gathering allies to help them in the fight."

"Nothing more than what we expected, then," Stefan said, looking impatiently towards the door.

Adrian entered then, trailed shortly by Antonio. "I have brought Antonio for you, Masters."

"Come forward, Antonio. No need to kneel," Stefan said, beckoning him forward. "You've been chosen for a great honor."

"A great honor, Masters?" Antonio repeated, a greedy look shining in his eyes.

"Yes. Come, Hugo," Stefan said, and Hugo tentatively walked over to him. Stefan, who was still standing, placed a hand on Hugo's shoulder. It would have been a paternal gesture had it not been so sinister. "As you may know, Antonio, Hugo has recently struggled with obedience. I do not question his loyalty, simply his ability to do what is asked of him."

"I have heard that, yes," Antonio said.

"Good. Vladimir and I decided that it would be wise to try a method separate from our normal persuasion tactics and, according to Caesar, it was a success. Hugo is now quite devoted to our cause. Right, Hugo?" Stefan squeeze Hugo's shoulder so hard he winced. I curled my hands into fists, shaking with rage.

"Y-Yes, Master Stefan," Hugo stammered, eyes fearful.

"Good. We cannot have weak links here, I am sure you understand that, Hugo," Stefan said, bloodthirsty expression on his face. "Antonio, I am afraid you have been judged to be our weakest link. However, you are not entirely useless. I trust you understand what I wish for you to do, boy?"

"Yes," Hugo squeaked.

Antonio's smug look dropped into one of pure horror. "Masters, please, I beg-"

"We do not beg here," Stefan hissed, sneering. "You are weak. Destroy him, Hugo."

Hugo's eyes darted to me again and I nodded near imperceptibly. His eyes snapped back towards Antonio, who had been grabbed trying to escape by one of the guards near the door and tossed back into the room.

"Yes, Master Stefan," Hugo said, voice remarkably void of any sort of emotion.

Antonio started screaming as fire sprung up on his skin, burning hot and fast until his screaming stopped and he collapsed, nothing left behind but ash and smoke.

Vladimir smiled cruelly. "An impressive display, Hugo. I am so glad you have finally come to your senses. With you, we shall be unstoppable."

"With this development we have much to discuss," Stefan said, his cool reaction far more troubling than Vladimir's savage delight. "Hugo, Cullen, you're dismissed. I believe an unscheduled meeting is in order, Caesar, so join us at the normal spot. Adrian, carry the message to the rest."

Hugo darted to my side, relieved to be away from Stefan and Vladimir, and I wasted no time in leaving the throne room. Hugo was content to watch television once we reach his room, curled into my side. None of the cartoons were in a language I understood. With nothing now to distract me, I was left to feel the constant burn of thirst and the unceasing ache of the bond. I was thoroughly miserable, and it came as a relief when I got to leave Hugo for a spell to train with Caesar and Maxim.

"How are you holding up?" Caesar asked me in between spars. Our matches had been unusually brutal and several times I had come close to accidentally ripping off one of his arms or legs after not regulating my newborn strength. Our spars were currently an outlet for my anger and instincts, something that Caesar seemed to sense.

I shrugged. "Okay."

"If I had to guess, I'd have to say that's a stretch," he said.

"One of my friends is dead, I'm constantly thirsty, and the bond makes me feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside. Of course it's a stretch," I said tiredly. "But what else am I supposed to say?"

Caesar sighed. "I don't know. You _can_ do this, Rowan. It will be worth it in the end."

"If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be there," I said, dodging his sudden attack with practiced ease. "Just two more weeks of hell, right?"

Caesar laughed, though his heart wasn't in it. "Yes. Two more weeks of hell."

He attacked me again, and this time I pinned him to the floor.

A short while later I walked the halls to meet Maxim in Hugo's training room. He was already waiting when I arrived two minutes after six.

"So I heard an interesting bit of news," Maxim drawled, his amusement evident in the slight arch of his brows.

I played dumb. "What sort of news?"

"During my normal check-in, imagine my surprise when I find out that not only did you visit the castle, but you made an _appearance_," he said, lips curling upward. "I cannot say I'm surprised, really. I'm moreso impressed that you managed to escape Volterra for a second time. With Caesar and Hugo in tow, no less."

I didn't bother hiding my grin. "What can I say? It's a skill."

"I believe the exact words Santiago used were 'bad habit', but I digress," Maxim said, laughing. I had never heard him laugh before, I realized.

"Is the castle still-"

"In an uproar? I believe so, though not entirely because of your disappearing act. They've needed to make adjustments based on the information they were given which has meant a flurry of activity," Maxim said, sobering once more. "I was also asked to pass on a message. Santiago asked me to tell you that you could have said hello to him because he, and I quote, 'ain't no snitch'."

Maxim reported all of this to me in his normal flat tone and I couldn't help but laugh. "He would say something like that."

"Yes," Maxim agreed. "Fortunately, you will be seeing him soon enough and he can chew you out in person."

"I look forward to it," I said. "What do you plan on us doing today?"

"We'll likely start where we left off before your trip yesterday. I am hoping that your control will have improved with how much you got to exercise it yesterday, but we shall see," he said. "I do have a question, however, though it has nothing to do with your gift and everything to do with mine."

"Sure," I said, intrigued.

"My gift, among other things, allows me to know the fears of others. That is something you knew, correct?"

"I deduced," I said.

"Good. Your fears, most of them I understand. Your gift, losing someone, the coming battle. But there's one of them that doesn't quite make sense to me."

"Which one?"

"Stefan," he said. My stomach lurched. "You don't fear Vladimir. Only Stefan. I wanted to ask why that is."

I swallowed. "Caesar didn't tell you?"

"Tell me?" Maxim echoed.

"I always assumed- I just assumed you knew," I said. "When you first arrived, and Caesar took you to wait with Hugo, where did you think I was?"

"All Caesar said was that you were indisposed."

"I was healing. I was punished by Doyle for denying Stefan," I said dully.

"I assume Stefan didn't ask permission before he tried," Maxim said, eyes stony.

"He didn't get far. But it was enough," I said.

"I'm sorry I asked."

I shrugged. "You didn't know. I can trust you not to say anything, right?"

"Of course. It's not my story to tell," he said. He was furious, that much I could read from the tenseness of his shoulders, but I trusted him to keep his word.

"Thank you, Maxim."

"No need. Let's get to training, shall we? An hour a day is not nearly enough to teach you everything you need to know," Maxim said, and did not mention our previous conversation again.

My training with him went no better than it had two days ago. More than once Maxim had to call for a halt, using his gift to activate my freeze response until I could get my gift under control.

He explained a little more about how his gift worked as I reined in my instincts. "Fear manifests in three ways: fight, flight, and freeze. Typically the response depends on the situation, but I'm able to force a specific response from your body. It's one of the more useful aspects of my ability, especially during a fight."

"Why aren't you higher in the guard? Your gift is just as lethal as Jane or Alec's," I said, calmer now.

Maxim shrugged. "Something to do with seniority, I imagine. You forget I've only been with the guard for about a decade. Besides, I have never desired the responsibility or power that comes with being a higher member of the guard. It gives me less of a chance to abuse my gift."

"I don't have a permanent guard yet, you know. And I would prefer it be comprised of those I know and trust," I said. "I trust you with my life and I've grown used to you having my back. The position is always open to you, should you want it."

"I have always said that our gifts mesh well together, when yours isn't trying to kill me," Maxim said wryly.

I grinned at him. "So that's a yes?"

"Assuming we get through this unscathed, yes. It'd be an honor to serve as one of your guards," he said.

"I'm glad," I said, and the subject was dropped as we returned to our training.

My eyes were black again after my session with Maxim. The man I drained yesterday had been enough to bring a muddy burgundy color to my irises, but the grueling use of my gift and the struggle to keep it under control meant that it felt like I hadn't fed at all.

"Welcome back, Cullen," Doyle said when I entered for control training that afternoon. "Hope you enjoyed your outing, because you won't be getting any more for a while."

I ignored him, stamping down my irritation as I made my way to the far wall. Doyle seemed to sense that I wasn't going to rise to his bait, because he turned and immediately began berating one of the other newborns for his late arrival. It seemed I had only just avoided being late myself.

"Everyone against the wall, you know how this works," Doyle said, the harsh snap meant for the few newborns that still stood towards the middle of the room. Once they were in place, Doyle called for Sam and Holt.

The scent of blood hit me, and even though I was prepared for the agony that would follow, the intensity of my thirst caught me off guard. Venom pooled in my mouth as Sam and Holt dropped the two humans unceremoniously on the floor.

"I see several black eyes among you, so I hope you're ready for a fun couple of hours," Doyle said with savage delight before pulling a knife from his pocket and making the first incision, long and bloody, down the forearm of one of the unconscious humans.

Several snarls, including my own, echoed throughout the room. The scent of blood clouded my senses until it was all I could think of. Doyle was tucking the knife back in his pocket as Sam slammed one of the others back into the wall.

There were only three of them. Only three of them stood in the way of me and the relief of the burn in my throat. But if I failed, they would hurt me, and I wasn't entirely certain the risk was worth it.

I took another breath and all logic shut down.

I darted forward, ducking under Holt and throwing him away. Sam lunged towards me and I jumped over him, rolling forward and crouching over the two humans, snarling. My prey. Their blood was mine.

"Don't be stupid, Cullen," Sam growled, the three now circling me.

I growled back. "Stay back."

"Your funeral," Sam said, he and Holt attacking in unison.

I sunk my teeth into Sam's shoulder, my strength combined and Holt's actions to pull me away ripping Sam's arm clean off. I tossed it away, venom dripping from my teeth, and pounced on Holt, the two of us locked in a quick but dirty fight until I grabbed his neck and threw him into the newborns that still lined the wall. Sam had reattached his arm but instead of working to restrain me now had to beat back the newborns that were using the distraction to move towards the two humans, _my_ prey.

I crouched over the bodies once more, eyes locked on Doyle, who was now the only threat.

"Stay back," I snarled. "They're mine."

"Tsk, tsk, Cullen. You know that's not how things work here," Doyle chided, sinking into a crouch.

The aroma of blood was distracting me and I twitched, longing to sink my teeth into the soft skin of their necks. I growled at Doyle, growing impatient. "I'll rip you apart," I promised, and I meant it.

"Do not think so highly of yourself, Cullen. You could never," Doyle sneered.

I leaned forward, eyes glittering. "I've beat you in the ring before. I can do the same now. I will rip you apart."

"Enough," Doyle roared, starting forward. But he hesitated, and I saw it. I saw the flicker of uncertainty that flashed through his eyes before he decided to act. I bared my teeth at him, springing forward to meet him halfway.

I was not scared of him. Because hesitation meant one thing, and one thing only.

Weakness.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**If y'all thought that Rowan would magically have perfect control like Bella, then ding dong, you were wrong. Now it's only a matter of will Rowan end up doing something stupid because her thirst has taken over? We shall see. I realize that I've been using a fair amount of cliffhangers in Penance, but it's such an easy work to put cliffhangers in because there's just so much happening. ****I hope you guys are hyped that the battle is only a short while away. Unfortunately, Rowan is getting no better at controlling her gift. Do you think she'll learn control in time for the battle? Let me know what you think in the comments!**

**Unfortunately, I'm rushing to put this part out for you (ie writing the author's note, I completed the actual chapter last night) so I don't have any time to reply to comments this time around. However, I'm so thankful for all of the responses I received on last chapter! I get so much motivation from them and it is so much fun to read your thoughts. So a big thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Make sure to stay safe and healthy and I will chat with you all in the next update!**


	24. 023

I ducked under Doyle's first attack, throwing my weight into his torso and sending him flying back into the wall. He snarled and pounced again, our fight a dangerous dance of fists and teeth. I ripped out a chunk of his shoulder and had nearly removed the arm entirely when Sam and Holt rejoined the fight.

The three of them combined were enough to finally overwhelm me, but not without another minute of frenzied fighting. It was the scent of blood that was my downfall; I made the mistake of looking towards my prey and they took the opportunity to restrain me.

"Take her arms," Doyle snarled, working to reattach the arm that was dangling limply from his shoulder.

Sam and Holt ripped my arms off at the shoulder in unison and I roared angrily, but the pain brought back a semblance of reason that prevented me from attempting to attack again.

"Bitch almost tore my arm off," Doyle growled, replacing the chunk of flesh that I had torn from his shoulder with my teeth. Sam and Holt were still holding me in place, though it was mostly needless considering I no longer had arms to grab them with.

"We've taken heads off for less," Sam said, ignoring how I hissed at him.

"Look at her eyes. Being forced to withstand her thirst will be punishment enough," Doyle said before whipping around towards the other newborns. "Against the wall! Or you're next and it won't just be your arms missing."

I was left in a painful, thirst-induced haze for the rest of control training. Either Sam or Holt hovered nearby in case I attempted to attack again, but the threat of losing my head was enough to keep me back. Having my arms ripped off was painful enough.

My lack of arms ensured that I didn't get a drop of blood from either human at the end, when the rest of the newborns went on a frenzy to drain what they could.

"Good luck reattaching your arms, Cullen," Doyle sneered, still furious at me.

I growled at him, stalking towards where my arms had been discarded in the corner of the room, my reason returning as Sam and Holt removed the bodies and rapidly cleaned the room. I felt incredibly foolish but there was nothing I could do to change my actions.

I was left alone in the now-empty room to awkwardly attempt to attach my arms. Hugo came looking for me ten minutes later, after I had finally managed to get my left arm on.

"Let me help," he said, carefully reattaching the other.

"Thanks," I said, flexing the fingers in my right hand as the feeling slowly returned to it. My other arm, which I had struggled to attach myself, felt wrong, and I couldn't move it. "I think I attached my left arm wrong."

Hugo moved back the rest of the tattered sleeve to look at it, a frown creasing his face. "It looks too far down. I think you'll have to take it off again to fix it, but I don't want to-"

"You don't have to," I assured him. "Let's see if we can find Maxim. He can do it since Caesar's conducting combat training right now"

"Okay," he said, clearly relieved. It was obvious he didn't want to do anything that would cause me pain even if it was necessary.

It was easy to track Maxim down once I picked up his scent, following the trail out to the border with Hugo close on my heels. He was alone and I just saw him in the trees, keeping watch.

"What are you doing out here?" He leapt down, landing lightly on the forest floor and striding over to us.

"I need a little help," I said, gesturing to my left arm. "I had to try to reattach it without any arms and it went wrong."

"Obviously," Maxim quipped, rolling back the remnants of my sleeve to get a better look. "What happened?"

"Slipped up in control training," I said, wincing as he carefully probed the juncture of my arm and shoulder.

"I knew Doyle was harsh, but I hadn't realized he was this heavy-handed," Maxim remarked. "I'm going to have to rip it off again and reattach it properly, though I'm sure you already realized this."

"I figured as much," I said. "I'm just thankful Doyle didn't decide to go with Sam's suggestion of taking my head, too. I've seen them do it before."

"It's almost like being unconscious after the initial pain fades," Hugo said. "But it hurts too much to be nice."

Maxim muttered something in a language I didn't recognize. "A certain measure of brutality is needed to keep vampires in line, but this level of savagery is almost unheard of. This treatment is usually reserved for criminals, not allies."

He ripped off my arm without warning and I let out a noise that was half yelp, half snarl. "Son of a _bitch_, Maxim! A little warning next time would be nice."

"Let's hope there's not a next time," he said, carefully aligning my arm with to my shoulder before returning my arm to its rightful place. "How does it feel now?"

My arm tingled as feeling returned. "Much better. Thank you."

"Any time," he said, smiling tightly at me. "You two should go."

"Right. See you at combat training," I said, placing a hand on Hugo's shoulder and nudging him lightly back towards the direction of the castle.

When Caesar found out what happened, he taught me how to properly reattach my limbs myself. That was a particularly painful, but necessary, training session.

"Hopefully you won't need it, but preparedness is better than foolish optimism," he said. "You're still a newborn and I won't be surprised if you lose control again."

I lost control again.

Three more times before my last feeding prior to the battle I found myself armless. Doyle was losing patience, but he seemed to know that forcing me to endure the scent of blood was far worse than beheading could ever be. The only silver lining was that I was not the only one to lose control as more and more eyes became black with thirst.

It was two days before the battle when I finally got to feed. It had been three weeks since my last official feeding and two since I had fed on our return journey from Volterra. According to Caesar, everyone's feeding had been suspended until the battle drew close, which lead to high tempers and brutal fights both in and out of the ring. I got my normal ration of one human, which was not nearly enough, and I felt uneasy knowing that I would not be entering this fight at full strength.

There was comfort in knowing that none of the others would be either. The only exceptions were those like Caesar and Doyle - in other words, those that Vladimir and Stefan liked. Hugo, too, was permitted to feed until his eyes were brighter red than I had ever seen them.

I was happy that his thirst was nonexistent, and I would gladly give Hugo my prey if it were between him or I going thirsty, but the more instinctual side of me could not help but be jealous.

My trainings with Caesar and Maxim were being held with increasing urgency as the battle loomed. My natural fighting ability meant that I could now hold my own against and occasionally best Caesar. But my control over my gift had gotten no better.

"Maxim," I said during our second-to-last session.

"I didn't call halt," he snapped, stressed. We were all stressed now, muscles as taut as wires.

"This is useless," I snapped back, waving my hand around at the rebellious shadows. "We have no more time, Maxim. We have ten more minutes today and an hour tomorrow. That's all. I _have_ to control this."

"You don't think I know that?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest. "Can't you see I've been trying to protect you? Save you from having to suffer the full magnitude of my gift? But my hand is being forced. You're right. We're out of time."

"Whatever it takes, Maxim. That's what I've been telling myself ever since I decided to come here. And if that means experiencing your gift in its entirety, then so be it," I said.

"It is a pity I am cursed to feel your fear rather than your bravery," Maxim said. "Meet me here tomorrow morning at ten. In the flurry of activity before we are set to move from this place you will not be missed."

"Be missed?" I repeated.

Maxim smiled grimly. "What I will do to you will render you essentially unconscious for an extended period of time. I've only done this once before, and Deacon - the friend I told you about - was under for almost fifteen hours."

"The attack is set for sunrise. Will that give me enough time?" I asked anxiously.

"It should, but you'll have to hurry to make it. If you're late, well… it never hurts to make an entrance," he said.

I grinned. "I always have had a flair for the dramatics."

"And so the mystery of why you're mated to the kings has been solved," Maxim drawled.

"Ass," I laughed, bumping my shoulder against his. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, then."

"Make sure Caesar and Hugo are aware of the plan," Maxim said. "The three of us together should be enough to cover your absence. If not, they'll have to just assume you've defected."

"I'll have to warn our side, too, so they don't worry if I'm late to the party," I said thoughtfully.

"A wise idea. I would recommend not informing them _why_, however. Master Aro knows what my gift does and I feel he would react very poorly to me using it on you."

"That is not at all comforting," I said.

Maxim raised a brow. "And what I said earlier regarding my gift _was_?"

"A good point. Can't wait to find out how much tomorrow is going to suck for me," I said. "See you later, Maxim."

"Don't be late," was all he said in farewell.

The following day came too soon. I was very aware of the fact that the fate of the vampire world could be decided by this time tomorrow.

I could be reunited with the kings, or I could be dead.

"Do your best to stay out of the fighting," I coached Hugo ten minutes before I was set to meet Maxim. "When Vladimir and Stefan realize you've betrayed them, you'll become just as big a target as Jane or Alec, so you need to stay close to someone who can protect you. Caesar, Maxim, or someone from the Volturi. Do you remember Demetri and Santiago?"

Hugo nodded. "_Si_. There was another, too. Afton?"

"Him too. They're good choices along with any of my family. You'll be able to distinguish them by their golden eyes."

"I understand," Hugo said. "Once you get there-"

"Stay away from me. I doubt it'll take long for them to realize who I am, and once they do, I'll be their number one target. You're safest to stick with one of the others. They will protect you as best they can."

"Okay," Hugo said. He looked incredibly nervous.

I pulled him into a hug. "Hey, it'll be okay. We'll get through this."

"Promise?" he asked.

"I can't promise you that, Hugo, no matter how much I wish I could. But I can promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure we win this," I said seriously.

"Okay," he agreed softly.

"One more thing," I said, grasping his arms. "If you're being attacked and there's no way out, use your gift. I mean it. They are the enemy and _will_ be trying to kill you. Burn them to ash."

Hugo nodded seriously. "I understand."

"Good. Be careful and be smart. I love you." I hugged him again.

"I love you too," he said, hugging me back tightly.

"Maxim will be getting your crest to you sometime today. Make sure it stays out of sight," I said. We had collectively agreed to postpone retrieving our crests as long as possible and Maxim was in charge of handing off Caesar's and Hugo's to their respective owners. I would be retrieving my own after the effects of Maxim's gift had lifted.

"I'll be careful," Hugo promised. "You be careful, too."

"I will be. See you soon, Hugo," I said, giving him one final squeeze before leaving his room for the last time.

The halls were a flurry of activity, and in the hubbub it was easy for me to slip into Hugo's training room unnoticed. Maxim hadn't yet arrived and I paced around the dark room while I waited, last minute battle plans running through my head.

Maxim entered a couple minutes after ten. His face was grim and more serious than normal. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said. "Look after Hugo for me, please. I've asked Caesar to do the same."

"Of course," he said. "I _am_ sorry for what I am about to do."

I took a breath and squared my shoulders. "Don't apologize. It's what has to be done."

"That does not make it any less pleasant. Time to face your fears, Rowan," Maxim said, pressing two fingers to my forehead. Then I was falling, and the world dissolved.

My eyes snapped open to the sound of scraping, groaning metal. I was thrown forward, a seatbelt stopping me from being thrown out of the spinning car entirely. I was incredibly dizzy and my head ached. Everything was muffled.

Abruptly, the spinning stopped and my surroundings came into focus. For a second all I could hear was my heartbeat, pounding wildly in my chest. My brain felt foggy. I didn't even remember getting in the car, only waking up in it.

I pressed my fingers to my aching temple and pulled my hand away with my fingers coated in slick, red blood. Someone else was driving. My heart rose to my throat, fear and dread washing over me like a wave at the sight of a blonde head slumped against the steering wheel, unmoving.

My fingers shook as I unbuckled the seatbelt and scrambled forward. My fingers closed around her shoulder, staining her shirt with blood. I recognized her as my mother, even if I could not remember her name.

"Mom?" I croaked out, shaking her, pulling her back from the steering wheel. Blood flowed thick and fast from a gash in her neck and I cried out, pressing my hand against the wound to stem the flow of blood. "No, no, Mom. No, please! Please don't go. I can't lose you again."

_Again?_ But that didn't make sense. I had not lost her yet. The pounding in my head increased as my hands were coated with blood that seemed wrong.

"Mom, please," I begged. Her eyes flickered open. Gold. _Gold?_ That's not right. Those with golden eyes aren't supposed to die.

My head was splitting.

The blood is wrong. The golden-eyed don't have blood.

_They drink it._

Everything froze in place. The bleeding stopped. There was no blood at all. Rosalie smiled at me.

And then there was nothing.

I woke up to my alarm. I felt as though I had just been roused from a very odd dream that I couldn't quite remember. It felt important. I wasn't sure why.

I could feel the radiating ache of bruises. The beating I received last night had been terrible, but it was not the worst that I had received. I sat up regardless.

"Turn off that damned alarm!" My father bellowed, slamming open the door to my room. His blue eyes flashed angrily and I fumbled to shut off the incessant beeping.

"Sorry," I squeaked, flinching away as he stepped forward. "It won't happen again."

He slapped me and I bit my busted lip to keep from whimpering. "See that it doesn't. If breakfast isn't ready in twenty minutes you'll be eating nothing today or tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," I said, changing from my pajamas into tattered day clothes and making a beeline for the kitchen. Everything was as it had been last night, and yet… everything felt _off_. A needle-sharp pain sliced behind my eyes.

I made pancakes and eggs. Quick and easy. He only complained that his egg was too runny, and I got off easy with a harsh kick to my shin.

"Get me a beer," he called. I paused in my clean-up efforts to open the fridge, bringing him what he requested. Even if it was only nine in the morning.

"Cigarette, too?" I asked.

He stared at me. "You stupid or something? I don't smoke."

"Right," I mumbled. He didn't smoke. I don't know why I felt like he did. I dimly remembered him pressing a cigarette butt into my skin and pain pounded in my head. I checked my arms. There were scars, but none of them were burns.

I scampered back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. I mused over the odd not-memory while I worked. It was the only thing to focus on besides the headache that pounded behind my temples.

I worked on homework in between fetching my father more alcohol. It was easier than I remembered it being. My headache seared when I thought too much into that, so I focused on finishing the three remaining math problems.

"Rowan!" My father bellowed. Nothing good ever came from a tone like that, but I knew better than to ignore him. That just made the pain worse. Fear squeezed at me as I slunk into the living room.

He grabbed me around the neck, slamming me into the wall. Alcohol was rank on his breath. "I should kill you like you did your mother. Slash the neck. Quick, at least. More than you deserve."

Very quick. He could even do it with his teeth. After all, I had-

Wait.

This is all wrong.

I remember blood in my mouth. _His_ blood.

I had ripped out his throat.

My father is dead.

I killed him.

_He cannot hurt me anymore._

My father crumpled to the ground like a puppet whose strings were cut. His neck was mangled from where I had torn it out. I had a sudden recollection of what was going on. Maxim-

There was nothing.

"Stay still," Doyle spat. My vision cleared as Xander returned my sight. I was in the throne room, where I had been shoved roughly to my knees. "Traitor. You deserve every ounce of what you're about to get."

"Bring them in," Stefan drawled, malice glittering in his eyes.

I looked desperately around, struggling against Doyle's hold. Sam moved to help Doyle and together they kept me in place. Holt stood nearby, restraining Hugo with a vice-like grip. The room was bright, much brighter than it had ever been before. The shadows it contained were weak.

No way out.

"Did you really think you would win?" Vladimir sneered. Everything seemed to freeze in place when I saw them; the kings, my mates, rendered powerless in the hands of the Romanians. Xander's gift was clearly at work.

"Romanian bastards, _marcisci all'inferno_," Caius snarled, struggling against the five guards that restrained him. "Do not touch her! I will rip you all apart!"

"I'm afraid, Caius, that you are in no position to tell us what we can and cannot do," Stefan purred, brushing my hair away from my shoulders. I snapped my teeth at him, narrowly missing his wrist. "We are the kings now. Not you."

Marcus threw off his captors with an angered roar, holding his own even without his sight.

"Idiots," Vladimir spat, waving his men aside and pouncing on Marcus himself. I struggled harder, cursing and spitting with rage as Vladimir gained the upper hand.

"Hope you said goodbye," Stefan cackled as Vladimir ripped off Marcus' head. "Hugo, light him. Or Rowan dies."

Caius broke free as Hugo, frightened and shaking with dry sobs, did as he was ordered. Caius ripped off the heads of three guards before Vladimir once again stepped in, at an advantage solely due to Xander's gift.

"You've always been a pain in my ass. Don't think I didn't know it was you that lit our castle ablaze," Vladimir said, and I finally broke free of my captors as Caius' head was torn from his shoulders.

My vision disappeared and I was left in darkness, the sort I could never control, and all of Caesar's training could not prevent me from being overwhelmed and once more forced to my knees.

"Hugo," Stefan said once my vision returned, voice deceptively soft.

"Hugo, no!" I screamed. Too late. Caius' ashes joined Marcus'.

"Aro. The near-omniscient _king_," Stefan spat. "Or so you painted yourself. Look at you now. Your fellow kings are dead. Your mate is in my grasp."

Aro snarled at him, lunging forward against his guards. He was easily restrained. "Kill me, I do not care. But if you harm her-"

"And how will you stop me? You'll be dead. Not to worry, I'll be sure to show you everything I plan on doing to your lovely little mate before I kill you," Stefan leered. "You could have prevented this. This never would have happened if not for one tiny oversight. _You trusted your guard too much_."

"Maxim," Vladimir said. All of my thoughts seemed to grind to a halt as Maxim walked into view, steps slow and deliberate. "You were so kind to send him to us, Aro. So very kind."

"Maxim?" I whispered.

He looked at me impassively. "You could not have truly believed I was happy within the Volturi, could you? Then again, I suppose you could. I can be quite convincing when I need to be. And with you so desperate for help… well, I would be lying if I said it was difficult to persuade you that I was on your side."

"But Caesar-"

"Caesar," Maxim said, tone gloating, "has been under my thumb this entire time. Oh, he came close to realizing. But I'm always underestimated and it was easy to play his fears to my advantage. There was so much to work with."

"I trusted you!" I shouted, the ache in my chest so fierce I longed to feel nothing at all.

"Not one of your smartest moments, I agree."

"And so the long reign of the Volturi is over," Stefan said, gripping Aro's hand with a twisted smile. "See what is to become of your mate, Aro? Even death would be sweeter than what I have planned for her."

Aro roared, a furious sound that rattled my very bones. There was only a brief struggle before Stefan and his guards regained control. Vladimir smirked as Stefan slowly pulled off Aro's head. "Welcome to the new age."

They didn't wait for Hugo this time. Instead Vladimir lowered the torch as I screamed, breaking free again only for my arms to be ripped off.

"Tsk, tsk," Stefan said, sauntering towards me. "That's no way to act. Your kings are slayed. You're mine now. Just think: if Aro had been a little wiser, if you hadn't tricked Afton into abandoning his post, if Edward hadn't let you escape Italy… none of this would have happened. Your involvement is my favorite part, you know. It has made things delightfully interesting."

I furrowed my brow. Something about what he said was wrong.

How did Stefan know that I saw Edward?

Caesar and Hugo hadn't mentioned it to Maxim. Neither had I. So how…

Something niggled at the back of my mind, something important, even as pain seared behind my eyes.

"How did you know about that?" I asked.

Stefan seemed caught almost by surprise at the question. "Know about what?"

"Edward."

"Maxim told me, of course. That _is_ the point of a spy," Stefan said.

"Who told Maxim?"

"I don't know," Stefan snapped, irritated now.

My eyes slid back towards the ashes of the kings. My throat was tight with grief. But surely the bond would-

The bond.

_The bond._

Feeling burst in my chest as the bond came alight, vibrant and so very _alive_.

"You're a coward," I spit at Stefan. The kings were alive and that was enough. I did not need them to save me. "You are a coward and I am not afraid of you."

"Your mates are dead! They are no longer here to protect you. Coward or not, you should fear me."

I laughed as the room darkened. "Newsflash, asshole. I don't need anyone to protect me. I am my own savior. You are nothing more than a coward. And you are going to die."

One by one, the lights were snuffed out.

There was nothing but shadow and then there was nothing at all.

It was dark when I jolted awake. Moonlight trickled in my open window from a thin crescent moon, chasing away the last hazy fragments of a nightmare. Even as I focused on what was left, they slipped from my grasp. I only remembered the fear that went with it.

I could hear stumbling footsteps down the hall and felt terror jolt through me. I ran to the closet, my hiding spot. "Rowan!" My father yelled, voice slurred. "I wan' to see you!"

I pulled the closet door shut. My hands were trembling. I wanted to hide. The shadows would hide me, they always had. My bedroom door slammed open as I called the darkness to me.

There was no answer.

I was frantic now. The shadows had always answered. They had always protected me as best they could. Please please please-

The closet door snapped open and my father grabbed me. "There you are."

He threw me against the foot of the bed. I flexed my fingers, calling the shadows again. Desperate.

"You can't hide from me, girl!" He kicked me.

I curled into myself, a sob bubbling up in my throat. The shadows were always there for me. They always helped when I needed them. My father kicked me again and again. Tears streamed down my face.

I needed the shadows. They obey _me_.

I pushed myself up. Determination swirled.

The shadows do not control me. They are not in charge.

_I am._

My father hurls threats and kicks me again, but I am no longer afraid.

I call for the shadows.

They answer. They crash over me.

There is nothing but shadow.

I am the shadows.

The shadows are me.

_We are one._

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**There was a big time skip in this chapter. You know what that means. Next chapter marks the start (and possibly the end, I'm not sure yet) of the long-awaited battle. This chapter was a MONSTER and I was planning on splitting it in half but I figured I would just give it to you guys in its entirety, so I hope you enjoyed it. Rowan has leveled up and if you haven't figured out by now that I accidentally made Maxim super OP then you never will. **

**I'm sure you guys are as excited about the battle as I am so I hope to have it out for you soon(ish). Thanks to all who commented on the past chapter, I appreciate you guys so much! So without further ado, here's a couple responses to last chapter's reviews:**

**HannahStewart-chan: Your observation that my characters do something stupid because that's my writing style is both downright hilarious and absolutely correct. Hopefully Maxim's gift helped her reign in her fears and instincts so she can control her gift. But only time will tell. Also, I really hope you understand the power you've given me with your thoughts about the battle. :) Thank you for reviewing! 3**

**interceptor1997: I had never thought of that before but I absolutely love your theory. I think it explains away SM's plotholes in a believable way (and mine LOL). I think the upbringing of a vampire newborn definitely affects their control though really the reason Rowan didn't complain about thirst in the castle is because it was nighttime so most of the human staff was gone. At least I don't THINK I mentioned any humans in that chapter... anyway thanks for reviewing!**

**Well, I'm tired out from a busy week and writing an extra long chapter, so I'll leave you to think about the coming battle! Hope you all are safe, happy, and healthy! **


	25. 024

I woke up flat on my back. For a moment I was seized with the overwhelming fear that I was still being influenced by Maxim's gift, but the feeling flitted away as soon as it had come; I had never remembered Maxim's influence before - though I had come close - so what I was experiencing now must be real.

I checked my watch and my heart lurched. It was just past four-thirty in the morning, which gave me an hour to make the hour and a half trip to the battle field. Even as I began running the shadows engulfed me, allowing me to pass through walls and take a straight line out of the castle rather than being confined to the halls.

The shadows felt different somehow, responsive to my wills and whims in a way they never had been before. I barely stopped to grab my crest, the shadows reaching out like an extension of my arm to grab it and I was off running again with it thudding reassuringly against my breastbone.

The scent trail of the army was easy to follow. I needed only to focus on pushing myself to run faster, faster, faster until the world around me faded to nothing but the scent trail I was following and the ground beneath my feet.

The first rays of sun peaked above the horizon as the sounds of battle reached me. There were sudden cracks of noise, like boulders crashing together, and I could see smoke rising some distance away. I pushed myself to run faster, thankful that I still possessed my newborn speed.

A little further and I saw the still-burning remains of a vampire. Only by scent did I know it was Ana, as her face was already burnt beyond recognition. I didn't stay to ponder who had been sent to kill her, but Bella was high on my list of guesses. I moved on, following the sounds of battle now instead of the scent of the army.

All of a sudden the trees gave way to a massive clearing. It took me several seconds to make any sense of the confusion. I spotted Caesar first, fighting alongside Marcus and Aro. They were a devastating force. Maxim was nearby, viciously protecting a dismembered guard; I could not tell who it was, but Maxim's gift was ensuring attackers stayed far away from his fallen companion. I saw Carlisle and Esme fighting in tandem, an elaborate dance that their foes could not keep up with.

The Romanian coven possessed greater numbers, but their lack of proper combat training was clearly their downfall.

I instinctually searched for Caius, whom I had not yet seen, and realized three things in rapid succession:

The first was that on the opposite side of the field, he was being restrained by several of the Romanians.

The second was that Doyle was stalking towards him, intent on the kill.

The third was that if I did not reach him, Caius was going to die.

I started running. Anger buzzed through me and I felt the shadows gathering as my desperation grew. Doyle was almost on him. I would not make it in time. _Go go go-_

I was halfway across the field, much too far away, when the world blinked. For the barest second there was nothing but darkness and then I was upon Doyle, the shadows rolling off of me as I grabbed him around the neck and slammed him to the ground, ripping into his throat with my teeth and twisting off his head with savage pleasure.

My name swept through the battlefield as I tossed Doyle's head away, fangs still dripping with his venom. Caius had used the shock of my appearance to break free, swiftly beheading his remaining attackers.

I didn't wait for the surprise of my arrival to fade before I jumped back into the fight. Assured that he wasn't in immediate danger of being killed, I didn't spare Caius another glance. I didn't need the distraction. My gift made me a deadly opponent; the shadows ebbed and flowed over me like a second skin and needed only the barest prompting to solidify and turn me even more lethal.

I twisted off another head, throwing it full force at the back of one of the Romanian's army. It was enough of a distraction that Santiago escaped the massive newborn's hold and decapitated him with ease.

"Quite the entrance, queenliness!" Santiago said, catching the newborn I flung at him and quickly removing his head. "Very dramatic. I approve."

"You would!" I said with the barest of grins. To my right I glimpsed Jane and Alec tag-teaming against Xander with brutal pleasure.

"Which others of these bastards helped kill Felix?" Santiago asked when he got another chance to speak. "Demetri isn't the only one hell-bent on revenge."

"Doyle and Xander are already dealt with, but Sam is all yours," I said, nodding towards where Sam was fighting against two of the lower guard.

"If you'll excuse me," Santiago said, saluting me before forging off through the battlefield towards his newfound target.

I was swarmed almost as soon as Santiago ceased helping keep the newborns at bay. As anticipated, I had become a target as soon as my identity was realized.

"Need a hand?" An unfamiliar vampire had taken the empty place beside me and we fought almost back to back. He lacked the robes that the guard wore, the only indication he was with the Volturi being the crest around his neck.

"Wouldn't say no," I said, able to use less and less of my ability now that the sun had risen. But the weakening of my ability mattered little for Caesar had trained me well.

"I'm Garrett. Kate's mate," he said, intercepting an attacker before I could be sprung on from behind. "You're Rowan."

"So Kate finally found herself a man, huh?"

"I'm a lucky bastard. She's a hell of a woman," he grunted, shaking himself free of two newborns as I threw a third off of him. We worked well together; I could recognize a fellow soldier, even if his situation was quite different from mine.

"Ro-bear!" Emmett bellowed, throwing himself into the fray beside me. He seemed to be channeling his exuberance at seeing me into smashing our opponents to bits.

"Dad!" I exclaimed happily.

Garrett grabbed my attention once more. "It's nice to meet you, Rowan. Talk later?"

"Absolutely," I agreed, and Garrett shot me a final grin before beheading another newborn and vanishing into the fray. The throng seemed to be thinning as we gained the advantage.

Finally, through the chaos, I saw them.

"Help me get over there," I said to Emmett. It was now too bright to use the shadows to travel unseen.

"Sure. Let's work quick. Others are eying them up," Emmett said, following my gaze. I fought even more seamlessly with him than I did with Garrett, and with Emmett's strength it was easy to battle through those who stood in our way.

"Keep the rest at bay," I said to Emmett, darting lithely under the last of the newborns that stood between me and the queens.

"You," Sulpicia hissed when she saw me.

I rolled my shoulders, feeling out for the shadows that remained for me to use. "Me. I was right under your nose this whole time. Maybe you never noticed because you thought the only thing a queen could be is a massive bitch."

Sulpicia snarled and sprung at me. Mistake.

I stepped lightly aside, the shadows I had summoned snapping out and coiling around her neck, her screaming subsiding as her head was cut off. If the remaining Romanians hadn't realized their queens were in danger, they knew now.

Sulpicia dropped to the ground at my side, her head rolling away. My gift had dispensed of her before she could even reach me.

My eyes were now fixed on Athenodora. I was not even sure how the former queens had survived so long. Caesar had coached them but their fighting skills were minimal. She was too slow to dodge as my fingers closed around her throat.

"Mercy," she whispered, which gave me pause. Emmett was keeping others at bay, so it was just us, two queens facing off at last.

"Mercy?" I repeated, a question.

She asks me for mercy, after all she has done? I look across the field at my mates, the men for whom I have suffered unspeakable things. I see Caius, who she had spent centuries upon centuries with, who is now out for her head, who would make her death a torment. Who even now is working his way towards us, rage on his face and in his heart, and I know despite all she has done to me that I cannot subject her to him.

So I kill her, and it is an act of mercy.

There were twin roars from across the field and I saw Vladimir and Stefan rushing at me. I crouched, prepared to face them alone if necessary, when they are intercepted.

Vladimir was ripped off course by Demetri, who joined forces with Caesar to achieve the revenge they both craved. Stefan did not stop and I knew he would not until I was killed. Emmett stood at my side, tensed and ready, but Stefan never reached us.

Marcus pounced on Stefan with less than ten yards between us, the two of them rolling away. Marcus was shortly joined by Aro and Caius and all three were ripping into him gleefully.

I realized with a jolt of horror that Hugo was tailing after the kings, circling the scene patiently. He did not see the newborn sneaking up on him from behind. But even as I began to act Hugo's would-be attacker dropped, writhing, to the ground. Jane was close by, a small smile on her face, and Alec met no resistance when he removed the vampire's head. I breathed a silent sight of relief that Hugo had others looking out for him.

There were very few Romanians left. Demetri had just set Vladimir alight. Nearby, Edward ripped off Holt's head before moving towards Emmett and I.

"How many left?" Emmett called to him.

"Eleven," Edward responded as Hugo gift sent fire crawling across Stefan's skin. "Five have deserted but I can still hear their thoughts close by."

"Take Emmett, Santiago, Jane, and Garrett to round them up. If you lose any we can send out Demetri for them later," I said, falling naturally into a leadership role.

Edward grinned at me. "You got it, Ro."

Hugo flitted to my side, wrapping me in a tight hug. "You made it!"

"Told you I'd be here," I said. "Let's make rounds. You have some fires to start, if you're up to it."

"I am," he confirmed.

"Rowan!" Rose cried before we could begin.

"Mom!" I said, laughing as I staggered under the force of her hug. "It's so good to see you!"

"I was so scared for you," she said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I did what I had to," I said as she stepped back, examining me. "I'm okay. Really."

"I'll be the judge of that," she said.

"I'm Hugo! Rowan's my M-" he abruptly cut off, looking embarrassed.

"Hugo's my son," I said, ruffling his hair. "Meet your grandson, Mom."

Rosalie couldn't have looked more thrilled than if I had said I had bore Hugo myself. "It's so nice to meet you, Hugo. I'm Rosalie."

"Mama told me about you," Hugo said, smiling shyly.

"Why don't you go with her to burn remains, Hugo?" I suggested, my eyes sliding towards where I could see the kings. In the aftermath they had taken control, Carlisle with them as they worked on returning chaos to order.

"Okay!" Hugo chirped. Rose smiled in understanding and patted my cheek before leading Hugo away.

I walked towards my mates; it seemed a long time since I had been able to move without hurry or fear, and my entire being settled as I drew close. Arms enveloped me, swinging me up off the ground, and a laugh bubbled out of me.

"I love you," Marcus whispered, capturing my lips in an urgent kiss.

I was pulled away from Marcus as soon as our lips parted, wrapped in Caius' crushing embrace. "You saved my life," he said, resting his forehead on mine.

"Of course," I murmured. "As if I would let you die."

"I thought I was going to. And all I could think of was you." My eyes fluttered closed as he brushed his lips over mine, conveying through it a thousand words he could never voice.

Aro took my hand then, tugging me to him, burying his nose in my hair. My mind was shielded from him until I could come to terms with all that had happened to me within the Romanian castle. But it was not something I would think about now, warmed by the dazzling sun and finally reunited with those I loved.

"I feel at fault for this. For what you had to go through," Aro said, his voice so soft that none could here but us.

"I don't blame you for any of this. We cannot control the actions of others," I said, my voice just as soft. "Even if you were at fault, I know I would have still made the choice that I did. It was my path to walk. I don't regret it."

He simply shook his head, staring down at me in awe. "You are the sort of woman wars are started for."

"This war really was a repeat of the Helen of Troy incident, if Helen had actually been an undercover spy," I pointed out.

"You're right," Caius said, a laugh in his voice.

I sobered a little as my eyes swept over the battlefield. "How many casualties?"

"We don't have a count yet," Caius said. "Where the hell is Santiago? He would know."

"I sent him out to round up the stragglers," I said. "Edward, Emmett, Jane, and Garrett are with him."

"Good thinking," Caius approved. "With your brother's gift, Demetri may not even be needed."

"So convenient," Aro sighed.

I spotted Caesar across the field, slowly picking his way towards me. Maxim was by his side. "I'll be right back," I said.

Aro, following my gaze, reluctantly dropped his hold and I jogged across the field to meet them. Caesar smiled when he saw me. "You did it."

"_We_ did it," I corrected. "I never could have done this without you. Either of you. I cannot thank you enough for all that you've done for me."

"It has been an honor to fight this war at your side," Maxim said. "If the offer is still open to me, I will gladly continue to remain at your side as your guard."

"Of course it is," I said. "And what of you, Caesar? What will you do now?"

"I have said something of the kind before and so I will say it again. My loyalty lies with you and you only. If you were to travel to the ends of the earth or the gates of hell, there I would follow you."

"I have been through hell, Caesar. And if I had to pass through again, there would be no one I would rather have by my side," I said, and he smiled.

"You made a rather spectacular entrance, you know. Appearing out of nowhere and relieving Doyle of his head," Maxim said, the three of us walking back towards the kings who had resumed restoring order to the battlefield.

"All thanks to you," I said, bumping my shoulder against his. "I think I unlocked a new facet of my ability, too."

"To be expected, now that you are free from your fear of it," Maxim said. "Care to elaborate?"

"Shadow travel. I remember running across the field, trying to save Caius, terrified knowing I was never going to make it. I was halfway across the field one moment and the next precisely where I desired to be, ripping Doyle's head from his neck," I said, savoring the memory.

"That's a very natural progression. You could already hear others through the shadows from some distance away. I'm surprised I didn't think of such a possibility before," Caesar said.

"Rowan!" Marcus called for me. "We have a list of casualties."

I materialized by their sides in an instant, thankful for my speed and dreading to know whom had been lost.

"Seven permanent deaths, four dismemberments," Demetri reported, dipping his head towards me in greeting. "Carlisle is working on aiding in reassembly as requested and the four in question should be just fine after waking and a feeding."

"Who's dead, Demetri?" I asked bluntly.

"The casualties were primarily composed of the lower guard, I doubt you were familiar with any of those five. Vince, Bartholomew, Francine, Igor, and Hattie," Demetri listed.

"I knew Vince," I murmured, recalling the friendly vampire that had accompanied Afton on several missions. "And the other two?"

"Corin." I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Marcus slipped an arm around my waist, offering silent support. Demetri looked to the ground. "And Irina."

"Irina," I repeated, my voice a strangled whisper.

"I'm sorry," was all Demetri said, eyes compassionate.

"Demetri, take Renata and track down the search party that is out. Edward's heading it up. Help them find any remaining stragglers that may have slipped by them," Caius ordered, a clear dismissal.

"How did they die?" I asked quietly.

"Corin was overwhelmed early on. She was ripped apart. I attempted to guard her after she had been dismembered but ultimately failed," Maxim said, sorrow in his eyes. So it had been Corin whom he had been fighting so fiercely to protect.

"Irina died saving Hugo before you arrived. The one in the Romanian coven with sight deprivation used it against her. By the time others realized she needed aid, it was too late," Aro said. "I witnessed it happen but was too far away to help."

"Not your fault," I mumbled, staring at the ground. "The rest of my family-"

"They know already," Marcus said. "Irina died a hero's death. She will not be forgotten."

"None of them will," I said, feeling hollow with grief. "They deserved a far better fate than the one they received." I leaned into Marcus' side, and for a long time we stood in silence.

"We've returned with the search party. Every straggler has been found, ripped apart, and burned," Demetri reported on his arrival back. "That should be all accounted for. Caesar is working to confirm and others are following behind disposing of the ashes."

"Excellent, thank you Demetri," Aro said. "After that work is complete, we can return home."

_Home._

At long last, I'd be going home.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Well, here we are. The end of Penance- kidding, kidding. I'm just kidding. Fear not, friends, Penance is not over yet. There's still some story to tell yet and a certain Cullen has to get married. I really had to debate on how many characters I was going to kill here, but since I didn't want to make you _too _sad (especially after Felix) I went with just a few. Corin and Irina, you will be missed :( I hope you enjoyed the fight and seeing some of the aftermath. Rowan will be getting a full, proper reunion with her family and the guard in coming chapters, but it was a lot to put here without feeling forced. Let me know what you thought of this chapter, I hope you're excited now that Rowan is back with her mates and family/friends - I know I am. I missed writing them. Though I will admit that I loved writing the whole Caesar-Maxim-Hugo-Rowan dynamic that was going on within the Romanian castle and am definitely going to miss it. It was a lot of fun.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and that you're looking forward to reading the aftermath of the fight and Rowan's experiences at the hands of the Romanians (okay, I KNOW you're looking forward to that). Here are some responses to your reviews:**

**xlDarkstarlx: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So I was planning on having the battle be more than one chapter, however I forgot the part where I'm not overly good at fight scenes and didn't want it to be too drawn-out. Fortunately Penance isn't quite over yet, so you'll get to enjoy it for a while longer, but it is winding down. I DO have another story in the works which I'll probably announce next chapter here (but if you want to find out earlier keep an eye on my Wattpad). It's not a Caesar/OC but with all the cries I've been getting for one I may have to start considering writing one... we'll see. Thank you for reviewing!**

**Hoobeehoo: I'm happy that you enjoyed Tenebrous and Penance enough to binge read both! That's quite a bit of dedication considering they're a little lengthy, haha. I hope you enjoyed this part!**

**I have one more thing to say before leaving you guys to cry over the couple losses from the battle: I'll be out of town for most of the next 2 weeks, so unfortunately you probably won't see another update from me until the beginning of August. Just wanted you guys to be aware (and thankful that this chapter's end wasn't a cliffhanger). Anyway, thank you all for reading and supporting Penance and I will chat with you all in the next update!**


	26. 025

Thanks to the effort and sacrifice of many, the Romanians had fallen. The danger had passed. The vampire world was safe - or as safe as it could be - once more.

And yet…

"Heidi will be here shortly," Santiago said, not cowing under Caius' irritated gaze. "She texted, they've only just returned. Would have beat us here but got stuck in traffic."

We had arrived back at the castle not ten minutes previous. Hugo had rejoined me, having spent the run back chattering with Emmett and Rose about comic books and cartoons. They doted on him already, but I was so accustomed to him being at my side, under my protection, that his absence made me uneasy.

"Drink your fill," Caius told Hugo and I. He, Aro, Marcus, and several others had congregated in the feeding room to await Heidi's return. She had been dispatched to retrieve a small tourist group as soon as our victory was confirmed to strengthen those who had been injured or weakened during battle.

Hugo nudged me lightly when there were no eyes on us. _Drink our fill?_ he mouthed, brow furrowed in confusion. I shrugged minutely in return. Things were different here than in Romania. I didn't know when we would be forced to stop.

I leaned down to whisper quietly so only he could hear. "Take only what you need."

Caesar's eyes burned into us from across the room and I glanced up to meet his gaze. Besides the kings, he was the only one present who didn't actually need to feed - the rest, including myself and Hugo, were either thirsty or had been injured in battle and needed the extra blood to regain full strength. Regardless, his presence was comforting. I felt exposed without him nearby.

I heard the chattering of voices and the chorus of heartbeats before I saw them. Venom pooled in my mouth. Heidi pushed the door open. Uncertain, I edged back towards the wall, holding my breath to protect against the onslaught of scents that wafted through the doorway.

"Welcome, friends, to Volterra!" Aro said, spreading his arms. The screaming started. I balked. This was wrong, all wrong, not the way I was allowed to feed. It was a trick, a test, they'd retaliate if I acted. The walls were stone like Romania. This was wrong this was wrong thiswaswrong-

_Get against the wall!_

Doyle's voice, real, fake, doesn't matter, get against the wall-

"Rowan!" Hugo this time. Worry in his tone, or fear, it made no difference; he felt threatened. I pushed him back, behind me, against the wall where he couldn't be harmed, not if he was against the wall-

I sank down into a crouch in front of him, lips peeled back in a snarl, searching for the threat, searching for Doyle, I had heard him-

"Stand down!" I reacted on instinct to the order, relaxing and assuming a less defensive position. Caesar's hand closed around my shoulder. "You are in Volterra. There is no threat here."

Everything snapped back into place. I stared at Caesar, mortified and absolutely bewildered. "Caesar, what happened, I-"

"It's not your fault," he said. His other arm was held out behind him, a signal for the rest to stay back. "I assumed this would happen. Expected it to."

Caius interjected, angry. "You expected her to-"

Caesar whipped around, his teeth bared. "Quiet. I am her sire and the only one who can prevent her from snapping. Her instincts are all off. You have enough experience with newborns to have anticipated this. Give her a moment to reorient herself."

I felt off-balanced, my instincts warring against what I knew to be true. Feeding was not safe, but I am safe. There Romanian castle is stone, but this is Volterra. Doyle is lurking, but Doyle is dead.

"What's happening to me?" I whispered.

"I will explain later, I swear it. For now, you and Hugo need to feed."

My gaze flickered back to Hugo, who looked only slightly less disoriented than I felt, and slowly nodded. "Okay."

"Good," Caesar said, and stepped away. Immediately, Aro, Caius, and Marcus took his place, worry shining in their eyes.

"I'm alright," I said. It was a lie, but I had told so many that one more would not hurt.

"You are safe, _cara mia_. We won't let anything happen to you," Aro said soothingly.

Marcus had pulled me into his side, gently rubbing my arm. Hugo had pressed himself against my torso, grappling with the same conflicting instincts that I was.

"How many are left?" Caius asked Santiago.

"Four. We had to knock them unconscious, they were being too loud," Santiago responded, now the only guard left in the room.

"No, that's good," Caesar said. "That's what they're used to. Give them two each, it will sate them for the time being. I believe I am right in assuming you'll have another feeding relatively soon."

"Two isn't nearly enough, take a look at her eyes," Caius said, scowling. He seemed intent on clashing with Caesar at any opportunity.

"Caius, it's fine," I murmured. "I'm used to it. It's enough."

I realized my mistake too late.

"Used to it?" Aro repeated.

"How often were they feeding you, Rowan?" Marcus asked. His tone was gentle but I could hear the rage carried beneath.

I must have hesitated for a second too long, because Caius whipped his gaze back to Caesar, furious. "You were _starving_ her. Is that how you treat your queen? This is a punishable offense, and unfortunately for you, I am more than willing to enact the revenge that she is kind enough to spare you of."

"That would be unwise." Caesar's eyes were dark, the shift in his body language so subtle that only I recognized that he was fully prepared to go on the offensive. "I risked my life for her and would willingly do so again. Do not make accusations concerning things you know nothing about."

"Your word means _nothing_ to me, for all I know you are no better than-"

"Enough!" I snapped, shadows hissing around my feet. "I appreciate the concern, Caius, but Caesar is not the enemy here. I trust him with my life and I would appreciate you giving him the respect he deserves instead of hurling accusations that have no basis in fact. After feeding, I will explain everything and you will apologize to the man I owe my life."

"Our beloved is correct, brother. He protected our mate where we could not and that is a debt not easily repaid. He deserves far more than our suspicion," Marcus said before looking to Caesar. "I apologize on account of my brother, Caesar. I hope in time you will see that he does not always act as irrationally as he is now."

"Apology accepted. It is a sensitive subject, and perhaps one best left for later, when the two newborns present have fed," Caesar said, looking towards the humans that were the objects of my hungry gaze.

"Yes. Let's give them some space," Aro said, glancing pointedly towards Marcus.

"Here," Caesar said, two of the humans slung over his shoulders in the time it took Marcus to step away from my side. He dropped the two humans at our feet and Hugo and I needed no more prompting to spring on our prey.

I was too focused on the taste of blood running down my throat and sating the ever-present burn to notice anything else. A second human followed the first, practically a feast, though my throat still burned at the end. That was no surprise; my thirst had never been fully quenched.

"You're both surprisingly neat feeders for newborns," Santiago remarked as I dropped the second man to the floor and licked my lips.

"Had to be. We didn't have many clothes," I said. I didn't mention that having bloodstained clothes was a surefire way of being attacked by another newborn.

"Shall we talk now?" Aro asked, gesturing towards the tables and chairs set to the side of the room.

I wasn't looking forward to this conversation, but I knew it was inescapable. "Caesar, can you take Hugo to my parents? I'm sure they'd love to get to know him better. Let them know I'll be by later."

"Of course. Hugo?" Caesar prompted. Hugo nodded and scampered after Caesar out of the room.

"Santiago, if you could ensure we are undisturbed," Marcus requested.

"Not a problem," Santiago said, nodding at us before exiting. The door shut heavily behind him and I could not help but think of the Romanians' rotted doors and the hell I had just escaped. My hands curled into fists as I turned away, moving towards the tables to the side of the room. They still had maps on them, battle plans that were evidence of the war that was recently won. There was a red circle around the Romanian castle.

I was lucky to be back home. Others had not been so fortunate.

_"We will win. You will burn. Just how it was always meant to be. Everything will be okay."_

_"Shame you won't be around to see it."_

I jerked away instinctively when a hand landed on my shoulder.

_"See how easy it is to fight back without your arms."_

"_Amore_-" Caius said.

My answer was reflexive. "It's fine."

"No," Marcus said, "Everything isn't fine."

"I'm going to explain," I snapped, turning towards them. "What more do you want?"

"We don't want anything from you," Aro said gently. "You don't have to tell us anything now, not if you don't want to."

I hated how they were staring at me, like I was porcelain, like I would shatter at any moment. I had imagined our reunion so many times. Why was this so _difficult_?

"Two weeks," I said tersely. "That's how long we'd go between feedings, at minimum. Or we could fight with the others for even a drop in control training, if we hadn't had our arms ripped off for losing control."

"They could not possibly expect-" Caius burst out, furious. "You are a _newborn_! That isn't control, it's torture!"

I didn't even have the energy to attempt to calm them as they reacted. I just stood there, unmoving, _the perfect soldier_-

"Damn it all to hell," I groaned. The shadows embraced me and I disappeared.

I wasn't even sure where I wanted to go, not really. I wanted desperately to clear my head of all the nightmares that seemed to fog it. The shadows deposited me in one of the training rooms that was empty but for three.

"Everyone out," Jasper ordered. The room emptied immediately.

"Jasper," I said with relief.

"What happened?" he asked, concerned. He was no mind reader, but my tumultuous emotions were enough to tell him something troubled me.

"We were feeding and it was like- like-"

He finished my sentence for me, eyes knowing. "You were back."

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered.

"Nothing's wrong with you, darlin'," he said softly. The only one in this entire castle who understood.

"Everything's wrong!" I exclaimed. "I was supposed to come back and things were supposed to be normal. Whoever I was before this, she's gone now. That was a whole other life. Now I'm this- this _thing_ who only knows how to destroy."

"Spar with me," Jasper requested.

"Jasper-"

"You won't hurt me," he said, grinning. The scars that coated him heavily were enough to attest to that. I hadn't been able to see them properly as a human, but I could now. "Trust me. It will help."

He was waiting, so I moved first. Swing, duck, slam. Everything else faded. There was only Jasper and how I could best him.

In the end, he won. But it was close.

"Caesar trained you well," he approved, pulling me to my feet. "But I have the advantage of experience."

"Your teaching helped me, you know," I said. "In the ring. I made sure to lose some. But I was still one of the best."

Jasper smiled. "That doesn't surprise me. You always were a fighter."

"Feels like the only thing I know how to do now," I muttered. "Why is this so hard, Jazz? Coming home was supposed to be the easy part. But now that I'm here I just feel…" I trailed off. I couldn't quite find the words to describe what I felt.

"Unsteady," Jasper finished.

"Yeah." That was a good way of putting it.

"Let's walk," he said. We left the training room together. "When humans get changed into vampires, it's commonly called transformation. Turning from one thing into another. But it's really more rebirth; newborns are aptly named in that respect. Much like human infants, newborn vampires are highly impressionable. The first year of their life is formative in determining what they will be like for the rest of eternity. When a newborn vampire is brought up in a volatile, violent environment, their instincts mold around it. Everything is a threat. There is nothing but survival and what must be done to ensure they live another day. It is what you and I experienced."

"Will it ever get better?" I asked desperately.

"Of course. I'm living proof, aren't I?" he asked, nudging me lightly. "You are still a newborn. You will readjust to a civilized life much more easily than I did."

"But I will never be as stable as a vampire with a normal upbringing. One like Bella."

Jasper hesitated. "No. No matter how much you deny it, no matter how much you run from it, no matter how deep you bury it… deep down, you will always be a soldier. Violence will always be your nature."

"When do the flashbacks stop?" I could only remember the incident in the feeding room with burning embarrassment.

"It varies from person to person," Jasper said. "Be gentle to yourself and allow yourself time to heal. Perhaps not tomorrow, or next week, or even next year, but one day you will think of life and realize it is not as bad as it feels right now."

"Thanks, Jazz," I said. He threw an arm over my shoulder and drew me into a side hug. We had gone up a floor in the castle and light streamed in through the windows. "Where are we going?"

"Where would you like to go?"

I was startled. It felt like a long time since my schedule wasn't ruled by another. "I don't know."

"I have an idea. Care to run?"

"Only if you can keep up," I said, grinning. For the first time since I had turned I felt free. Free to go where I'd like, to do what I'd like, to say what I'd like without any fear of punishment.

"Challenge accepted," Jasper said and he took off running.

I sped after him, catching up easily. We didn't run long; Jasper stopped abruptly in front of a door and I knew we had arrived. Jasper let himself in. It was a guest suite and my eyes fell on one of its occupants.

"Bella!" I cried.

"Rowan!" she exclaimed, the two of us colliding in a tight hug.

"I missed you so much, Bells!" I said.

"I was so worried about you," she said. "Edward was the first to find out what was happening, he saw in Alice's mind."

"But I didn't snitch," Edward said.

"Ed!" I darted to his side, throwing my arms around him. While I had seen him earlier on the battlefield, it was no place for a reunion.

"Hey, Ro," he said, smiling and returning the hug. "How are you?"

I stepped back and let the shadows that usually protected my mind recede. I allowed the memory of the disastrous feeding play for him to see. _How do you think?_

"It will get better. If you ever want to talk, I'm here," he said.

"Thanks, Ed," I said softly. I shielded my mind again; it wouldn't be fair for him to know the things I hadn't even yet shared with my mates.

"Me too," Bella said, reaching out to squeeze my hand. "I may not understand what you went through, but I'm still your best friend and I'm here for you."

"Thanks," I said, immensely grateful for them. "Where's Ness?"

"She stayed back in Washington with Charlie. We'll be going back after another few days with Carlisle and Esme," Bella said. "But we'll be visiting again soon!"

"The rest of us are planning to stay a while longer," Jasper said. "At the very least, I'll be staying until you've readjusted to life here. Our experiences are similar and I can help you through it."

"What about the Denalis?" I asked.

"I believe they're planning on staying another week or so before returning to Alaska," Edward said. "They've taken Irina's death hard. Tanya worst of all."

"I'll need to stop by later," I murmured. The Denalis would feel strange without Irina. I already missed her.

"In case you're wondering, the kings currently feel horrible for setting you off earlier. You can't hide from them - or hide the truth from them - forever," Edward said carefully. "You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to. But at least let them be there for you. That's all they want."

"I don't know how to be myself anymore!" The truth seemed to be ripped out of me. "I'm not who I was before. Not even close. If what Jasper said is true, I'll never truly be that person again. I can't- They won't-"

"Rowan," Edward interrupted firmly, "they know that already. They don't expect you to be the same person you were before you left. None of us do. You love them, right?"

"Yes," I answered instantly.

"Do you ever see that changing?" he asked.

My response to this question was just as swift. "No."

"Then why would you think that it is any different for them? That anything you could do or any way you could change would convince them to love you any less?"

I hesitated. "But I-"

"Edward is right," Jasper said. "If anything, they love you more, infinitely more, for everything you were willing to do for them."

"Look, if you guys didn't want to hang out with me, you could have just said so," I joked weakly.

Edward chuckled. "So you're going to go?"

"Yes. I suppose I should go find them," I said.

"They're in Aro's quarters," Edward said. Reading my surprise, he continued. "I've grown rather attuned to their minds over the time we've spent here. They are fascinating in a way I had never appreciated before; to strategize with them and see their thought processes and experiences that they drew from was incredible. Jasper was in his natural element."

Jasper grinned. "It is one of the things I do best."

"We can discuss this later," Bella interjected. "Go talk to them, Rowan. I may not be a mind reader like Edward, but I'm not completely oblivious. They missed you."

"I'm going, I'm going. I can tell when I'm not wanted," I said, a small smile on my face.

"You'll thank us later," Bella said, and that was the last thing I heard before I allowed the shadows to whisk me away.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**I'm back! Hooray! I had a nice break and am excited to get to work on writing the last chunk of Penance. Rowan was really being stubborn this chapter, I'll be honest. I had this nice neat plan and she went and ignored it all. I was actually concerned that her actions - _especially _around the kings - were borderline OOC. But I realized that it's actually a little more in-character for her than I expected: she's just been through an extremely traumatic situation and now that the dust has settled (somewhat), she can't pretend that she has it all together anymore like she had to during her time in Romania. She essentially has the newborn vampire version of PTSD. I really have a lot of thoughts about Rowan in this chapter but I'll end it there.**

**These next few chapters will be interesting to write, to say the least, but I'm looking forward to the challenge! Thank you to everyone who has supported me so far with your reviews and encouraging words! You are all awesome and I appreciate it more than you know. Here are some responses to your reviews from last chapter:**

**xlDarkstarlx: I'm so glad you liked it! I couldn't bring myself to kill everyone else. You guys should know that it was just as hard for me to kill off Felix as it was for you guys to read me killing off Felix. Writing her entrance was honestly so much fun and one of the concrete scenes I had pictured for a while. It was also a fun parallel to how Caius saved her from Felix back when they met for the first time. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and I promise you will see more of the kings (and their reactions) in the next chapter. Thank you for your reviews, I really appreciate them! :)**

**Musically Lovely: Aw, thank you so much! It really means a lot to know that not only am I writing the characters well, but they are growing as well! Thank you so much for your support and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**HannahStewart-chan: I'm glad you liked Irina's death. Okay, that sounded bad. But you know what I mean. I just felt like she deserved a better way to go out than how she did in canon BD, you know? I couldn't bear to kill Renata because it would wreck Santiago (her mate) and I love him too much to do that. I'm glad you liked the Rose/Hugo/Rowan interaction, and rest assured that there will be more with them together (including Emmett!). There will also be scenes with Hugo and the kings that I'm excited about. It'll be cute. Hugo has a big ol' loving family now. It's nothing less than what he deserves. Thank you for reviewing!**

**Anyways, as always thank you all for reading and make sure to leave me a review! Let me know what you think of Rowan's inner struggles and how you think her talk with the kings will go now that she's cleared her head a bit. I hope you are staying safe and healthy and I will chat with you later!**


	27. 026

I didn't step free of the shadows right away. For several seconds I simply observed them, unseen and unnoticed. The bond, which had been tugging lightly during the time I was away, was finally still.

I had to halt my breathing immediately; each had a wineglass in hand containing varied amounts of blood. The three looked immeasurably stressed and were conversing in separate languages. Caius was speaking in clipped Ancient Greek, indecipherable, but Aro and Marcus both spoke in Italian. I remembered enough from my lessons as human with Santiago to translate.

_"You are being too hard on yourself, brother,"_ Aro said, apparently agreeing with whatever statement Caius had previously made.

Marcus was morose, staring into the depths of the blood he swirled in a crystal wineglass. _"We all know the fault is my own. If I had-"_ He cut off with a snarl, abruptly flinging his glass at the far wall.

I stepped neatly aside before the glass could hit me, shadows flowing off me as I did so, and it shattered against the wall to my right. Blood speckled against the back of my jacket.

Aro and Marcus, who had been sitting, stood at my entrance. Marcus' face was creased in a frown. "Did I almost- I'm sorry, my heart, I didn't know that you were-"

"It's okay. More my fault than anything. I was eavesdropping," I said, offering him a tiny smile that he did not return.

"Were you there very long?" Aro asked.

"No. Only caught the tail end, if that's what you're really asking," I said, taking another breath in order to respond. Even having recently fed, the blood in the air burned my throat like hot coals.

"Of course not. We have nothing to hide," Aro said. Even without his gift he read me easily. "Shall we move this conversation elsewhere? I can't imagine being around blood is comfortable for you."

"No," I agreed, mouth curling into a wry smile, "but I can manage."

"We'll move," Caius said, by my side in an instant. His scent wafted over me, clearing the smell of blood from my senses.

I didn't object, instead taking the hand he offered and allowing him to gently pull me from the room. The scent of blood still stung my nose and I pulled off my jacket, folding it and tossing it back in the room we had just left. Underneath I still wore one of Caesar's shirts, the sleeves rolled back to my elbows.

Marcus was cradling my exposed arms in his hands before I could roll down my sleeves and cover the scars that mottled them. "You did not receive these from the battle," he murmured.

"No," I agreed as his thumb brushed over one of the crescent scars. "Most are from training. Some are from scuffles outside it."

"Should we have known this was the cost of losing your fights, we would have told you to win," Caius said, pacing about the room.

"I did win," I said, rolling my sleeves down and remembering my victories with savage pleasure. "I won more than Caesar approved of. I was one of the best."

"I believe it," Aro said. "I saw you on the battlefield. Caesar taught you well."

"He says I'm a natural," I said. I didn't mind this avenue of discussion; my time spent training with Caesar was easy to talk about.

"You are," Caius agreed. "The guard could learn from you."

"Sorry for running earlier," I said, desperate to fill the silence that followed.

"Do not apologize, my heart. We overwhelmed you," Marcus said.

"You didn't know. I guess I just didn't expect things to be this difficult," I admitted. "I assumed coming home would be the easy part."

"The ways of the Romanians were all you knew, and what you experience as a newborn is formative for a vampire," Aro said.

"Jasper explained it to me," I said. "He said he's going to stay for a while, until I get readjusted."

"That was always his intention, I believe. He knew what was coming because he experienced it himself. I suppose I was quite shortsighted in thinking you would be different," Aro said.

"Quite unusual for you, brother," Caius remarked. "Here I was thinking you knew all."

I couldn't quite hide my grin at the glare Aro sent Caius. "We all have to be wrong sometimes."

"I suppose that is true," Aro agreed. "Though I believe I am wrong - and do wrong - more often than just sometimes."

"I'll say," Marcus said with a snort, though there was no malice in his tone.

"You and Aro are on good terms again?" I asked Marcus tentatively. I had assumed Marcus was only working with him for my sake, though they seemed almost as comfortable with one another as before.

"Yes, or something close to it," Marcus said. "Once Caius brought me out of my shock, for lack of a better word, I was still furious with Aro. My trust in him was broken. But there were more pressing matters at hand so I agreed to work with him, albeit reluctantly. Caius was placed in the most unusual position as mediator."

"I'm much better at starting disagreements," Caius said.

I laughed. "You know your strengths, at least."

"Yes, well, I lost my patience with them quite quickly," Caius admitted. "I told Marcus to come up with a way to settle his differences with Aro or I would put them both on perimeter duty for a month."

"He was still acting head of the Volturi at the time," Aro inputted, "and fully intended to make good on his threat."

"What ended up happening?" I asked, finally perching on the armrest of Marcus' chair. Despite logically knowing I was safe, my instincts were too on-edge yet for me to sit and relax.

"I came up with a punishment befitting of the crime," Marcus said.

My eyebrows flicked upwards. "Meaning…"

"I was dismembered," Aro said with a grimace. "Head included."

Perhaps it was some savage remnant instilled in me by the Romanians, but mate or not, I couldn't help but think that Aro deserved it. "Ah, that's…"

"Oh, don't give him your sympathies. Even he knows that it was more than justified," Caius said. "They've been getting along ever since, thank the gods. I couldn't take being a peacemaker anymore."

"He really is dreadful at it," Marcus said, arm snaking out to pull me off the arm of the chair and into his lap. His touch settled my instincts and I leaned into his chest.

I could feel their hesitation in the silence that followed and sighed softly. "Ask. I won't promise questions, but I'll do my best to be open."

"Dearest, you don't have to answer anything. Our questions can wait," Aro said.

"You deserve to know," I said. "And I will tell you everything in time. It doesn't hurt to start now."

Caius asked first. "The control training, how did it work?"

"We were ordered against the wall and were expected to stay there for the duration of training. If we moved off the wall, caved to our thirst, we were punished. Usually we'd lose our arms. They wouldn't help us put them back on after it was all over. If we made it through the session we could fight the others for some blood from the humans they'd use to train us."

"How many times did you lose your arms?" Marcus asked softly.

I did a quick mental tally. "Five. Eight counting incidents in the ring. But I could give as good as I got there. In control training it was submit or face more severe punishment."

"How severe?" Caius asked. His voice was strained.

"Beheading. It didn't happen very often, though. Usually taking arms was enough. I was never beheaded, though I'm sure Doyle would have enjoyed it immensely." I gnawed on my lip as I considered my next words. "I think most- me included- would have preferred beheading to having to endure the thirst."

"You will never be starved again, _cara mia_, we promise you," Aro said fervently.

My lips curled into the slightest of smiles. "I know."

A light rap on the door interrupted Aro's next question, for which I was grateful. "Enter," he said with a barely repressed sigh.

"I apologize for the interruption," Jane said, opening the door and standing just inside the threshold. "Masters, you are needed in the throne room."

"For what?" Caius demanded.

"Debriefing of the lower guard before they disperse," Jane said, not cowing under Caius' vicious scowl.

"Thank you for delivering the message, Jane. You can return to your post," I said, standing and turning back to my mates. "Go. We can finish this conversation later. I am in need of a shower and I want to check on Hugo. My parents could be smuggling him back to Forks as we speak."

"Very well," Marcus said, standing as well. "We should not be long, _tesoro_."

"Do not rush," I said, giving each light kisses. "I have no plans of going anywhere."

"I should hope not," Caius grumbled, following me out the door. We parted there, and I walked along at a relatively human pace back to my quarters. The halls were fairly busy and many of the lower guard, who were on their way to the throne room, stopped in their tracks to stare. I was thankful to finally be back in the privacy of my own rooms.

It looked the same as it did the day I left. It was almost jarring, to step back into my old life. I tried not to think about how I had changed, the innocence I had lost. Instead I grabbed a change of clothes and stepped into my bathroom. I locked the door behind me. It was strange, being able to lock a door again. Being with the Romanians I had almost forgotten what privacy felt like.

I spent so long under the hot water that my skin felt warm again. A thick blanket of steam swirled around the bathroom as I stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a fluffy towel. I avoided looking in the mirror, drying as quickly as possible and dressing in clothes that properly fit. I only looked at my reflection long enough to ensure my brand and the scars on my neck were covered before leaving my quarters in search of Hugo.

Caesar's habits seemed to have rubbed off me as I walked down the halls at a human pace. The corridors were now fairly empty and I enjoyed having a moment to myself. I knew generally where my parents were staying based off of Bella and Edward's room, and I was halfway there when someone put a hand on my shoulder to halt me.

It happened again, that reacting without thinking, and my attacker was against the wall with my fingers around their throat before I could register that there was no threat.

"Santiago," I gasped, releasing him immediately. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay, kid," he said, straightening his cloak. "I should have said something. The masters sent me to find you and accompany you."

"I don't really need a guard anymore," I pointed out. "I'm a vampire now."

"I'm not sure I'm here for you protection, queenliness. Seems more like I got to protect everyone else from you," he said, bumping his shoulder with mine. "Clearly, Caesar was a damn good teacher. I oughta ask him for some pointers when he has the time. I'm in charge of training the guard now that Felix is…"

"Right," I said, shoving away memories that I didn't want to relive. "I'm sure he'd be happy to help. He's a bit anal when it comes to my safety."

"Well, considering you're not, someone has to be," Santiago drawled, amusement written on his face. He wasn't quite quick enough to dodge the elbow I threw into his side. "Where you headed, anyway?"

"To see my parents and Hugo. Know where they are?"

"I have an idea. If I'm wrong, we can find Demetri and have him track them down for you. Anything to get him out of his room," Santiago said. He didn't miss my frown. "He'll be alright after he's had enough time to grieve. The masters have been lenient with him."

"Has there been a funeral yet?" I asked quietly.

"No. There wasn't enough time with war preparations and Demetri knew you'd want to be there for it," he said. "Now that everything is back to normal I imagine it will be soon."

I nodded stiffly and we lapsed into silence. Memories of Felix tormented me here. If being back didn't mean we had won I would hate this place. Hate that I expected to hear Felix's booming laugh at any moment or see him round the corner with Demetri at his side. Hate that despite everything his death still felt like my fault.

"Did they tell you I was there?" I asked.

Santiago glanced at me. "Where?"

"When Felix died. I was there," I said.

"No, they didn't. They just called everyone to a meeting and told us Felix was dead. It was…" he trailed off. "There was a lot of uncertainty. I suppose many, myself included, didn't think Felix would ever die. He was unstoppable, the best of the best. Some thought it was a ruse. The masters sent me and Alicia, our lesser tracker, to find Demetri. Gods, I'll never forget…"

"What?" We had stopped in the middle of the empty corridor.

"His face. I'll never forget his face. He was like a man gone mad. But it's his eyes that stick with me. He wanted to die. If we hadn't intercepted him, he would have gone back. Fought until they ripped him apart and his ashes joined his brother's."

"I wouldn't have let them," I said quietly. I wouldn't have let them kill Demetri, too. I would have defended him or died trying. In all likelihood, by stopping Demetri, Santiago had saved my life.

"Then you are doubly fortunate that we stopped him." There was an odd emotion on his face, one I hadn't seen him wear before, and I realized he must have came to the same conclusion. "C'mon, queenliness. Let's get you to your parents."

We resumed walking, spending the rest of the short journey in silence. "Here's their room. Afton will be by to take over guard duty sometime soon, as I'll be needed in the throne room. You'll be getting more variety in your guard once Caesar and Maxim have taken a well-deserved break."

"Well deserved indeed," I agreed. "Thanks for getting me over here."

Santiago gave me a mock-salute. "Sure thing, queenliness. Always happy to help."

The door we were standing in front of was thrown open and a small body crashed into mine. "You're back!" Hugo exclaimed, grinning impishly up at me.

I ruffled his hair. "Told you I would be. Are you having fun?"

"_Si_! Did you know that _Abuelo_ plays baseball? He said he'll teach me!" Hugo exclaimed, and I tossed one more thank you to Santiago before Hugo towed me into the room.

"Pipsqueak!" Emmett bellowed, grabbing me into a hug and swinging me around. "You leave for three months and come back with a son!"

"To be fair, you left for three weeks on a honeymoon and came back with me, so it probably runs in the family," I said, laughing. Emmett set me back down on my feet and ruffled my hair.

"Rose has always wanted a grandbaby to spoil, haven't you, angel?" Emmett asked, tossing a bright grin her direction.

"Hugo is going to be the most spoiled boy on the planet even without our interference," Rose said with a smile, "though I'll be glad to contribute."

"When can I see your mates again?" Hugo asked me eagerly.

"Soon, I promise," I said. "They're in a meeting with the lower guard right now, but how about later?"

"Okay!" he exclaimed, bouncing around the room and back towards a stack of middle-grade books on the coffee table.

I gestured to them in confusion. "When did you-"

"Alice told us to buy them in advance. Possible future or something," Emmett said.

"In simple terms, yes," Alice said, barging into the room. Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme were with her. "Really, Rowan, you had to know I'd prepare for my possible nephew."

"Does this make us great-grandparents?" Carlisle mused as Esme made a beeline for Hugo.

"I don't really consider you my grandparents," I said, my eyebrows scrunching.

"But Rosalie and Emmett view us as their parents," Carlisle pointed out.

"I guess so, then," I said and smiled as he pulled me into a gentle hug. "It's so good to see you, Carlisle."

"We were all so worried about you," he said, stepping back to gently grasp my arms. "Are you alright? Truly?"

I smiled slightly. "I will be."

Alice slammed me in a hug then, hard-pressed to wait any longer, and I laughed as I wrapped my arms around her. "Miss me much, Ali?"

"Never do anything so stupid again," she reprimanded, so serious that I could do nothing but laugh once more.

"Considering you had a hand in this I don't think you are in any place to scold," I said.

She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Don't remind me. I hope you know I risked my hide for that genius plan of yours."

"We're both still here, aren't we?" I retorted.

"Yeah, yeah," she said with a huff. "Are you going to introduce me to Hugo or not? I've been dying to meet him but Rose and Emmett have been monopolizing him."

"And now Esme," I said. "Hugo, come here!"

Hugo bounced up to me, grinning from ear to ear. "_Si_, Mama?"

"I want to introduce you to your Aunt Alice and your Uncle Jasper," I said. Hugo was staring up at Jasper with round eyes, gaze glued on Jasper's countless scars. "Jasper was in an army like us."

Hugo glanced back at me. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I was second-in-command," Jasper confirmed.

"Like Caesar!" Hugo said.

"Except I wanted to be there. I knew nothing else," Jasper said.

"Tell me more!" Hugo begged.

"What would you like to know?" Jasper asked, leading him to sit on the couch. I tuned out their conversation, moving back to Rose's side, but I didn't miss how Jasper rolled up his sleeves to compare his scars with Hugo's.

"I'm glad they're getting along so well," Rose said, following my gaze. "I think Jasper was nervous that they wouldn't, as his scars can be off-putting."

"They have similar backgrounds," I said. "Truthfully, I think Jazz is the only one who really understands what we went through."

"You're probably right," she agreed. "But don't let your hesitation get in the way of being open."

"Will you and Dad stage another intervention?" I asked, recalling my fuzzy human memory of the three of us in the garage, discussion Aro's impending first visit. It had barely been a year since that conversation, but it felt part of another life.

Rose laughed. "Maybe. Depends on how much we notice the kings moping."

"Oh, because moping means I haven't talked to them?" I asked laughingly.

"Oh, absolutely. Before you I highly doubt they moped about anything."

"You would be correct on that point," Caius said, the three kings filing into the room. The room was, most thankfully, excessively large, otherwise it would have started to feel quite cramped.

"The lower guard have been dealt with, then?" I asked.

"Yes, most will be leaving by tomorrow morning to return to their previous posts," Aro said, pressing a light kiss to my forehead.

Hugo bounded over to my three mates, looking up at them excitedly. "_Hola_!"

"Hello again, Hugo," Aro said cheerfully. "How are you enjoying the castle?"

He beamed. "It's awesome! Much better than the Romanian one."

"I should hope so," Caius said, his voice surprisingly warm. "You will not want for anything here."

"Will I have to work as a guard member?" Hugo asked anxiously.

"Certainly not," Marcus said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You are prince now. You will not be required to do anything you do not wish to do."

Hugo's jaw dropped. "I'm _prince_?!"

"Crown prince, if you would like to get technical about it," Caius inputted, glancing down for my approval before wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

I swatted lightly at his chest. "What he's trying to say, Hugo, is that you're my son. I'm mate to the kings, which makes me queen, and you the prince."

"Oh," Hugo said faintly, looking quite shocked. "I hadn't thought of that."

"We are very happy to have you as part of our family, Hugo," Aro said, smiling gently at him.

Hugo looked down bashfully. "_Gracias_."

Sensing that Aro had some experience with children, I said, "Why don't you show Aro your books, Hugo?"

"Okay!" he said, and did the one thing I hadn't anticipated.

Hugo grabbed Aro's hand.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Hello all! I'm alive! Sorry about the wait. College started again and things got a bit hectic. I am still here, however, and steadily chipping away at what's left of Penance. I hope you all have been doing well and staying healthy. I don't have much to say here (especially because I have homework that I've neglected in order to publish this) besides inviting you to join a discord server created by one of my good writing friends Reveri (who also has a great Kings/OC fic that you should definitely check out). It's a place for writers, readers, and artists to come together and talk about what we love. If you want to hear me complain about writing (and possibly hear more about coming chapters and projects) I invite you to join! The link is in my profile.**

**Thank you to everyone who left reviews last chapter, I appreciate you all and I'm so grateful for your patience! Please don't forget to drop me a quick review as they truly mean so much and really encourage me to keep writing. Until next chapter, my friends!**

**(also, sorry about the cliffhanger. I just can't help myself.)**


	28. 027

Aro went rigid. His eyes glossed and I knew it was too late to stop it. I forced myself to stay in place, to not make a scene, even when Aro's gaze cleared and he stared at me with horror and agony and rage broiling within his eyes. _Not now_, I pleaded silently, hoping he would understand. The emotion in his eyes softened a little and he gave a jerky, minuscule nod.

The whole exchange lasted less than two seconds and no one besides Marcus and Caius seemed to notice; even Hugo, still tugging Aro away, was oblivious. Only the slight tightening of Caius' arm around me showed that he was concerned by the encounter.

"Later," I murmured to Caius and Marcus, who were now gazing questioningly at me.

Aro listened attentively to Hugo, but he was clearly far from being at ease. Calm flowed through me, washing away my anxiety, and I nodded my thanks to Jasper for his silent support. His lips quirked into the slightest smile in response.

It wasn't long before Aro returned to my side, weaving his fingers through mine and squeezing my hand. Hugo's memories had made him ill at ease and his mood was being quickly mirrored by Caius and Marcus, who looked tenser than they had just minutes ago.

"I hope we're not keeping you from anything," Carlisle said, the one in the room besides Jasper who was best equipped to identify the shift in mood.

"A meeting with the lower guard meant we couldn't finish an earlier conversation," I said, which fell only a little short of the truth.

Carlisle smiled at me. "I understand. We won't keep you, if you'd like to step away. Much has happened."

"You all don't mind looking after Hugo, do you? He doesn't really need a babysitter, and he's quite safe here, but I still…" I trailed off.

"Not at all," Carlisle assured me. "It will be nice to get to know the newest member of the family. Perhaps soon Edward and Bella can make another visit, this time with Nessie. It will be nice for her to have a playmate around her age, now that her growth has slowed."

"I'll have to bring it up with them later, but I think that would be a great idea," I agreed. "I'll be back later for him."

"There's no rush," Carlisle said, and the kings and I swept out of the room before much fanfare could be made about our leaving.

The run back to Aro's office, which had been cleaned since our last exit, was short and silent. None of us sat; Marcus leaned against the back of a chair, watching as Aro paced the room and Caius and I stood stock-still, both soldiers. There was a brief, strained silence that Aro broke on his sudden halt.

"Did Caesar do it to you, too?"

"Yes." Talking about the brand was easy enough. "What other choice did he have?"

"It was torture! If I had known-" he moved towards the door but I moved quicker, blocking his path.

"There would have been questions if he had gone about it the normal way," I retorted. "You can't change what has past. It's on my skin, remember? Mine, not yours. If I wanted vengeance, I would have taken it."

"What are you talking about?" Caius demanded, pushing Aro back. "What did Aro see?"

"I swore fealty to the Romanians. They gave us a brand to make sure we'd never forget." My fingers tore easily through the left side of my shirt and the brand was there, seared into my skin for eternity. "A brand with their crest, soaked in venom. That's how they changed us."

Marcus made a choked sound that was almost lost under the noise of Caius' snarl. "Those _bastards_. May they rot in the lowest pits of hell for what they've done to you!"

"They were inventive," I said slowly, slipping my hands mindlessly through the sleeves of Marcus' suit jacket when he put it around my shoulders. "Vladimir and Stefan had thousands of years to perfect their craft and Doyle was their most willing pupil."

"The punishment. Why- what-" Aro cut off, fists clenched.

"Fire," was all I could say, phantom flames licking at my arms. "For defying Stefan."

"You should have done what he said to save yourself the pain," Marcus said softly.

"No," I snapped, my tone harsher than I meant it to be. "I'd take the fire. Every time."

Aro's eyes held the sort of horrified knowing that only came with a millennium of seeing the minds of the most depraved. "What did he ask of you?"

"He didn't _ask_. He just took, because that's all he's ever done, so I knocked him on his _fucking ass_ before he could touch and take any more of me," I snarled, the lights dimming as the shadows reacted to my anger.

It wasn't until I was engulfed in Marcus' embrace that I realized I was shaking with dry sobs. Caius and Aro joined the embrace, forming a protective cocoon I never wished to leave, and it was a long time after my cries ebbed that any of us moved.

At Jasper's urging, by my third day back safely in Volterra I had fallen into a comfortable routine. I spent the mornings doing combat training with Caesar, Santiago, and Jasper. Then I trained my gift with Maxim, the two of us falling into a familiar pattern that made us more deadly than we were on our own. Once training was completed, I'd spend time with the kings and my family. Santiago had agreed to resume my lessons in Italian and Hugo tagged along, taking a break from his lessons with one of the Volturi's scholars.

I did well under the structure, a little more at ease now that my days loosely resembled the strict timetable of the Romanians. But I was still wary and felt like I was walking a tenuous line, unwelcome memories swarming through my mind at the worst of times and most of the guard treating me with utmost caution.

The most difficult part of my return to the castle was being reminded of all that I had lost. Perhaps it was my own guilt over Felix's death that made the castle feel so much emptier than before his absence. Five days after my return we held the funerals. Each of the guard got their own ceremony, but Corin's and Felix's were hardest. I sat in the front, beside Demetri, as the kings conducted the ceremonies.

Felix's ceremony was last. I was only dimly aware of what was being said; the memories made it so hard to concentrate. His ashes weren't in the same box I had been forced to put them in. They were now in a simple, yet elegant, urn. At some point during Aro's speech Demetri reached out and grabbed my hand. Hugo was already holding my other hand, his head leaned against my arm.

I never could have gotten through the ceremony without them.

The pain of loss eased a little after, now that they had been properly laid to rest. With the support of my mates, family, and friends, I once again began looking towards the future. Daily wedding planning with Alice, Rose, and my mates was added to my schedule.

Weeks turned into months, and little by little, I began to heal.

"You ready, pipsqueak?" Emmett asked, offering his arm to me.

"Hell yeah." The music changed and I glanced up at my dad. "It's go time."

"Let's get you married, huh?" he said, squeezing my hand as the doors swept open for my entrance. I sought them out and the world fell away when I finally saw them at the alter, their eyes locked on me. The walk down the aisle was both the shortest and longest of my life. Emmett squeezed my hand, pride and love and a thousand other emotions in his gaze as he handed me to the kings.

"Dearly beloved," Santiago began, serious for once in his life, "we are gathered here today to witness the union of our kings, Aro, Caius, and Marcus Volturi, to their queen, Rowan Cullen. We are all present to support and celebrate their love and to share their joy on this special occasion as they choose to spend their lives together.

"Your marriage is a lifelong promise to love, respect, trust, honor, and protect one another throughout all the ages to come. Your sacred bond will carry you through the years and push you to grow through your love. By standing here today, you profess to all in attendance your willingness to uphold these promises you are making to each other.

"Aro Volturi, do you take Rowan Cullen as your wife, to have and to hold, in war and in peace, till death do you part?"

"I do," Aro said, his voice steady.

"Caius Volturi, do you take Rowan Cullen as your wife, to have and to hold, in war and in peace, till death do you part?"

"I do," Caius said, his eyes never leaving mine.

Marcus Volturi, do you take Rowan Cullen as your wife, to have and to hold, in war and in peace, till death do you part?"

"I do." Marcus smiled at me and I smiled back.

"And do you, Rowan Cullen, take Aro, Caius, and Marcus Volturi as your husbands, to have and to hold, in war and in peace, till death do you part?"

I didn't even hesitate. "I do."

"Bring forth the rings," Santiago said. Hugo walked carefully forward, his wild curls a sharp contrast to his neat tuxedo. "Your rings represent this promise to one another. The never-ending circle is a symbol of your infinite, unbreaking love. Rowan, place the rings on the grooms' fingers."

I did so carefully, and then it was their turn.

"Grooms, you may now place the ring on your bride's finger." Aro and Caius held my hand as Marcus slipped the ring on my finger.

"I now pronounce you husbands and wife. You may kiss the bride."

"Finally," Caius said, and before his brothers could object, swept me into a kiss. Santiago wolf-whistled and there was unified laughter as we pulled away.

"Mrs. Volturi," Marcus murmured, capturing my lips in his.

Aro was last, kissing me deeply. "My queen," he whispered.

"Now presenting Messrs. and Mrs. Volturi, kings and queen of the Volturi," Santiago announced as, I, alongside my new husbands, started back the way we had came. "Long may they reign!"

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**I won't lie, I'm in shock right now. I was actually planning on having at least two more chapters to Penance, but it just wasn't working. But this is it. Well, this + the epilogue (+ a few bonus chapters). I cannot thank you all enough for the outpouring of support I've received over this two year journey of writing Rowan's story. I have grown so much as a writer and I truly could not have done it without all of you. I hope you enjoyed the final chapter of Penance (and I know you're going to love the epilogue) so please be sure to tell me what you think! It's shorter than a majority of the other chapters, but I really did just need to wrap things up. I'm going to hopefully put out the epilogue tomorrow for you. Right now, there's four planned bonus chapters, after which I'll be releasing a brand new story, so be on the lookout.**

**Once again, thank you for all your support. I love you all, and though I will have future author's notes in the epilogue and bonus chapters, this feels like the end of something. Thank you for sharing this experience with me.**


	29. Epilogue

"I owe you an apology," Maxim said in way of greeting one day, close to eight months after the wedding.

I raised my eyebrows. "How so?"

"Your wedding present," he said.

"Ah, yes. You did only give a card that said 'IOU, from Maxim' on it," I recalled, grinning. "You really don't have to worry about it."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, because your gift is currently out in the garden. It took me quite a long time to track him down, so I was hoping you'd be a little more appreciative."

"Him?" I repeated, curious.

Maxim beckoned for me to follow. "I'll explain once we arrive. The kings are already waiting in the garden."

We walked down to the garden in silence, though I was brimming with questions. When we arrived, my mates and Demetri were conversing with a dark-skinned vampire I had never met.

"Deacon," Maxim called, lifting a hand in greeting.

Deacon grinned and did the same. "Maxim! This is Queen Rowan, I assume?"

"Yes," Maxim said, the two of us halting as we reached the group. "Rowan, this is Deacon, my former protégé and longtime friend."

"You trained him like you did me," I remembered, stepping forward to shake Deacon's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You as well," Deacon said, "though from what I understand this isn't a social visit."

"Deacon has a very particular, very rare gift. He also owes me a favor," Maxim said. "But I think I'll allow him to explain."

"Yes," Deacon said with a smile. "Under certain conditions and with very specific constraints, my gift, among other things, allows me to bring those that are dead back to life."

"Back to- you can bring back Felix?" I asked. It felt too good to be true.

"Yes. Unfortunately, however, my gift is a little more complex than just bringing someone back. I need to have their remains - burned or no - which you have. However, the thing about bringing back a soul is, unless there is something to tether that soul, it won't stick around. Part of what Maxim did is help me understand how to tether one person's soul to another. Demetri, as I understand, is willing to act as the one keeping Felix tethered here, correct?"

Demetri nodded, face resolute. "Yes."

"You understand, then, that if he dies, so do you, and vice versa?" Deacon asked. "You're willing to assume that risk alongside the pain that comes with tethering your soul to his?"

"Felix was my brother," Demetri said, "and it's my fault he's dead. I'll take any risk to have him back here."

"Then we can move forward," Deacon said. "I'll need the urn containing Felix's remains. It would also be beneficial for someone to restrain Demetri so he does harm himself or anyone else."

"I can do that," Maxim said.

I moved towards Marcus' side as Aro gave Felix's urn to Deacon. "I take it you were in on this?"

"Maxim presented us his idea several weeks before the wedding and we approved it. However, we kept it quiet until we knew for certain that Deacon would be able to revive Felix."

"Thank you," I mumbled, too overcome by emotion for words.

"A warning that Felix may have some minor memory loss. It's not at all uncommon and you shouldn't worry if it does happen," Deacon said. He looked to Demetri. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Demetri said. Deacon nodded, and as Demetri began screaming, Deacon's eyes clouded black.

Felix's ashes began to rise and form human shape, slowly at first, then all at once. It was like watching something burn in rewind as flesh and bone reformed. The whole process was rather short and it was perhaps only a minute later until Demetri's screams stopped and he stood back to his feet.

"Wake up!" Deacon said sharply, and Felix's eyes sprung open.

"Felix?" Demetri asked, carefully watching his soul brother.

"Why am I in the garden? And why am I naked?" Felix asked. "Rowan, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Romania?"

Demetri tossed Felix the extra cloak he had brought with him, which Felix quickly drew around himself. He stared at Felix in wonderment. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"We were about to leave to track down the Romanian's gift sensor," Felix said.

"You died," I said, barely restraining myself from flinging my arms around his torso. "Deacon brought you back."

Felix blinked. "I died? I don't remember that. Though thank you for bringing me back. This place is nothing without me."

I laughed. "Oh, you have no idea."

"Welcome back, Felix," Aro said with a genuine smile. "Your presence has been much missed."

"Thank you, Master Aro. Maybe we can continue this conversation once I'm wearing some pants," Felix suggested. "Then one of you can tell me how I died. Was it badass? I bet it was badass."

We all laughed then, happy and unreserved, and for the very first time since the war, things felt back to normal. Felix was back. My family was safe.

All was well.

**⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰**

**Believe it or not, I've had this planned for a long time now. Almost since before I "killed off" Felix. However, I couldn't just let you guys know he was coming back, as that would take the fun out of it (for me, anyway). Discord folks, I'm not sorry for tormenting you about Felix's death, but consider this your apology gift. **

**With the epilogue, I can say that Penance, and as an extension Rowan's story, is officially finished. There are four coming bonus chapters from various POVs but there will be no more new content for her. As such, I must thank you again for all your love and your support while we went on this journey together. I can now say, happily and proudly, the end. I hope you enjoyed Rowan's story as much as I did. Keep a lookout for new works coming in the not-so-distant future. I love you all!**


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